9 Month Old Temper/Screaming - Normal??

[DisneyLovingMama]

Okay, I know I sound like a new Mom, but in some aspects I am. DD5 was very ill when she was a baby. Therefore, she was lethargic, quiet and developmentally slow. She's more than made up for that now, though. LOL!

DS 9 months is very healthy. He's also super active and really vocal. Lately, when he's frustrated, he just screams in anger. I mean, loud, fully filled lungs, primal scream. And, then, if your hands are in his way, he'll bite you. I'm pretty sure it's deliberate.

Is this normal? DD went through the frustration of not being able to speak/yelling/biting thing when she was older - about 2 years. DS is speaking a bit - Mama, Dada, bye-bye, upup, bottle (baba), yumyum (for jarred food) and banana (nana). DD didn't say those thing until she was about 18 mos.

So, that's why I'm feeling so new at this...

 

[andromedaslove]

Ahhhhh..... so someone else has a demon child??!! OK, I'm kidding, but it sure does feel like that some days doesn't it? I have a 10 month old son who is the same way. Screams, not crying, screaming when he gets angry or frustrated. He doesn't bite, but he hits and scratches. My 4 year old son never did things like this. You ought to see the dirty looks he can get!! At 10 months old his dirty looks make me wanna run and hide!! I just keep telling myself that once he can talk and express himself better it won't be so bad.

Dana

 

[Kermit]

I have a 13 month old. He gets very dramatic when he's upset. In fact, when he was about your DS's age (or maybe a bit younger), he'd try to throw himself down when he was mad. Fortunately, I was always holding him because he wasn't smart enough to know that you just can't do that on some surfaces.

You'll get all kinds of advice about dealing with it. Some people spank 4 month old babies. Other people don't punish their children ever for fear of hurting their spirits. We've decided that when our kids are that little, we'll firmly but gently say "No" and put them down to be mad all by themselves. We DO NOT give in. Ever. Even if it's something that we should change our minds about, we don't because they're too young at that age to realize that we won't do it every time if they just throw a fit again. But we're still gentle with them and say things like, "When you decide to be happy, you may come back and snuggle with mommy." The biggest thing, IMHO, is to not let them see that it's having an effect on you. Make him think that you barely even notice.

 

[LMC]

I had to just let my 3rd child scream it out. He only wanted me to hold him (all the time!) and I did have two other kids to take care of and a house to keep up and dinner to cook. He screamed all the time, in the car, the grocery store, at home, etc, etc. By the time he could sit up on his own I would just sit him in the floor so he could see me while I did my "work" and he would sit there and scream. He was a biter too, and he stopped bitting after I bit him about 3 times. I know they say don't bite them back but it worked for us.

 

[Aidensmom]

My son did it too, and continued. Right after his third birthday, I was in tears everyday because of his outbursts. A year later (he just turned 4) and not much has changed, except it doesn't bother me so much anymore, I am used to it. Something upsets him and he just can't handle the emotions, he screams and is defiant and will try to hit, kick, bite, whatever. We never give in. He gets a toy taken away every time he does some of this behavior, sometimes that can be 5 or 6 toys in the duration of one outburst. (I have a closet full at the moment. ) I spoke to his pediatrician about it just a couple of weeks ago, was told it is just his stubborn personality. I am not sure if I completely agree with that, but in the last several weeks I have noticed that he has really started gaining an understanding of how it is not good to act that way. (He will be yelling I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a the same time he is trying to kick you. Bad as that may sound, he definately is starting to realize what he is doing is not right.) I am hopeful that means this stuff is near an end, though I can tell he will always be stubborn. He got that from me, so what can I say.

I guess my point is, some kids are just difficult. Be patient. Keep treating them with love and consistency and they should eventually learn to be able to handle their emotions and act appropriately.

 

[LMC]

Something I do now that helps (won't help the OP at the moment but will in time!) is to get right in DS's face and talk to him. I have to get a eye level and hold him firmly and speak calmly. He is so worked up that if I don't do this, it's like he doesn't even hear me. If I do this, it usually diffuses him and he goes about his business. If it doesn't he is old enough now to sit on his bed until he can calm down (4 yrs old). This method even works when we go out!!! I take him to the restroom one time for a "talk to" (he screams no, no, no, so I am sure everyone thinks I am about to beat him) and we talk and he knows that is his "last chance". If he acts up again, he goes back to the bathroom and gets a spanking. Once he figured out that I was serious about following thru, all we have to do now is just "talk" that one time and our outing is fine. I swear, this kid will be the end of my sanity!!! Oh, DH doesn't speak to the kids face to face (he would rather scream at them from the sofa) so they don't mind him like they do me because they know dad will just sit on the couch and that's it.

Something upsets him and he just can't handle the emotions, he screams and is defiant and will try to hit, kick, bite, whatever. We never give in. He gets a toy taken away every time he does some of this behavior, sometimes that can be 5 or 6 toys in the duration of one outburst. (I have a closet full at the moment. ) I spoke to his pediatrician about it just a couple of weeks ago, was told it is just his stubborn personality. (He will be yelling I'm sorry, I'm sorry, a the same time he is trying to kick you. Bad as that may sound, he definately is starting to realize what he is doing is not right.) I am hopeful that means this stuff is near an end, though I can tell he will always be stubborn. He got that from me, so what can I say.

I guess my point is, some kids are just difficult. Be patient. Keep treating them with love and consistency and they should eventually learn to be able to handle their emotions and act appropriately.

 

[Aidensmom]

Something I do now that helps (won't help the OP at the moment but will in time!) is to get right in DS's face and talk to him. I have to get a eye level and hold him firmly and speak calmly. He is so worked up that if I don't do this, it's like he doesn't even hear me. If I do this, it usually diffuses him and he goes about his business. If it doesn't he is old enough now to sit on his bed until he can calm down (4 yrs old). This method even works when we go out!!! I take him to the restroom one time for a "talk to" (he screams no, no, no, so I am sure everyone thinks I am about to beat him) and we talk and he knows that is his "last chance". If he acts up again, he goes back to the bathroom and gets a spanking. Once he figured out that I was serious about following thru, all we have to do now is just "talk" that one time and our outing is fine. I swear, this kid will be the end of my sanity!!! Oh, DH doesn't speak to the kids face to face (he would rather scream at them from the sofa) so they don't mind him like they do me because they know dad will just sit on the couch and that's it.

Thanks! I try to get down to his level too, and it does seem to help a lot. I've had the same kind of restroom thing happen at WDW, I am surprised I have not read about it on the DIS. He is not happy when Mommy says we are going to the bathroom.

 

[Ava83]

I have a Drama Queen at three. She has had a temper since day one it is normal for Spirited children in my opinion. Who can be the most fun loving little things but the most loud, tempered kids I have seen (including mine) she looks like an Angel... but when she is mad she is mad. We have to have her look at us in the eyes (we tell her focus) and explain what is up...it mostly works but...Friday she was warned once not to do something and she did it again...got her in the car screaming...drove home....still screaming...got in the door, now screaming and rolling on the ground...she was then advised that screaming would not help the situation...and mommy went into the next room (there is nothing for her to hurt herself in the hall) she followed me after 5 min (no one to watch in the hall) the THREW herself on the bed in weepy despair! this went on for 40 min. Finally she came for her hug and was happy girl again. I always say with DD its either sunshine or stormy weather no in between.

She is an amazing kid though but its gotten worse since she turned three.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

Please check if food intolerance could be underlying the behavior.

My first child had a milk protein intolerance and he was angry,irritable a lot. He would throw himself on the floor, get up and throw himself down again. This was not a true allergy and did not show positive in allergen testing. However when we stopped giving him anything with milk protein in it his behavior improved dramatically. Milk protein on labels includes whey, milk solids, casein.

When my daughter was born 8 years later, the Hospital nurse said she looked like she would be a "colicky" child as my daughter was red and thrashing around at 3 days old. Again it was a milk protein intolerance and once I stopped consuming milk products while nursing her she was a much easier baby and now is a much easier child.

My son is still sensitive. I had bought some fried clam strips without reading the label. When my sons ears turned red after dinner, i checked the label and the clam strips contained milk for the coating.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

It's funny that you mention that. DS has been on hypo-allergenic formula since I stopped breast feeding. At the doctor's insistence, I switched him to soy formula last weekend. He hasn't been vomiting (like he was on milk), but has been a little more screechy. Wonder if it's related...

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

I am sorry but it sounds likely that even the new formula doesn't agree with him. Something like 30% of children with milk problems also have soy problems. My kids also had true soy allergies and that is why i nursed both kids until 2. It seems as though the problem is a "leaky gut" where the intestines don't filter properly and larger pieces of protein get into the bloodstream before they are broken down into constituent amino acids. The bodies immune system reacts to foreign protein. Many babies outgrow their food intolerances as the digestive system matures and i hope you and your child are so lucky as to be among them!