8yo with $175 purse??? -- How do you teach your kids the value of a dollar??

[Robinrs]

I don't know, I guess because I was brought up by the 2 most frugal and money sensible people I know I learned at the knee of the BEST.

My niece went to Stanford and in her class was the son of the 3rd wealthiest man in the world. He was from the middle east. This boy worked in the cafeteria during the week and on the weekend his Dad would send a personal jet to come get him to spend the weekend with them. Yes, he had all the means in the world but his Dad taught him a WORK ETHIC.

My ex was from a very wealthy family. He acted like he didn't know how to pay a bill. His mother took care of everything for him. To this day he lives mortgage free in a home they built for him in downtown Atlanta.... not a drop of responsibility. He just points to something and it's his... I'm sure he learned that at an early age.

His son at 13 has a better sense of responsibility than he has in his big toe. Why? Because I not only told him I SHOWED him how to budget, spend and save a dollar. At 13 he has a savings account, an eBay account and the ability and the know how to make a transaction if he wants one. He already knows that in order to get something, he has to EARN it. Most importantly, if he loses it, he does not get it again.

How do you train your children the value of money? I'm sorry, I think it is such an important subject and one that is not treated with the importance it deserves.

 

[AKLRULZ]

Live by example first of all.

We're pretty well off but we don't lavish our kids frivolosuly. They're probably "spoiled" by the terms many people have here on this board, but they don't get everything they ask for and they treat everything they own with respect. They don't have an air of expectancy for things that some of their friends have. They don't "worship" money like other kids they know do.

I also teach my kids that whenever they're blessed with money (from whatever the source) the most important thing is to tithe on it (give back).

Further, they all have indvidual accounts and they're able to see online how much they have in savings. Their mom and I always encourage them to think and pray about pulling from that savings before they make some sort of purchase that we won't buy for them.

I won't permit my kids to work during school or college because they've got enough to worry about with sports and academics, but I do expect them to get summer jobs when they're old enough to.

Ultimately it boils down to an issue of the heart.

 

[Robinrs]

Live by example first of all.

We're pretty well off but we don't lavish our kids frivolosuly. They're probably "spoiled" by the terms many people have here on this board, but they don't get everything they ask for and they treat everything they own with respect. They don't have an air of expectancy for things that some of their friends have. They don't "worship" money like other kids they know do.

I also teach my kids that whenever they're blessed with money (from whatever the source) the most important thing is to tithe on it (give back).

Further, they all have indvidual accounts and they're able to see online how much they have in savings. Their mom and I always encourage them to think and pray about pulling from that savings before they make some sort of purchase that we won't buy for them.

I won't permit my kids to work during school or college because they've got enough to worry about with sports and academics, but I do expect them to get summer jobs when they're old enough to.

Ultimately it boils down to an issue of the heart.

Wow! Awesome answer!

My parents didn't let me work either when I was in school, they wanted me to concentrate on my studies. Even during that time it was a learning process on how to stretch an allowance. I learned then how to divide a small amount up to make it last and use it now with a large amount!!

 

[OceanAnnie]

We're teaching the value of a dollar and responsibility early. If we see them being wasteful or damaging things we tell them, "We'll need to replace that if you waste/break it and that will have to come from your *toy money*." It's a very sobering moment that follows. We use it as a teachable moment. Money is finite. Take care of your things.

IMO, it doesn't matter if you are Rockefeller or poor as a church mouse. Those are important lessons!

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I want to know how a purse is different from an expensive WDW vacation or a gaming console? Why does a purse get everyone up in arms, but people are prepaying for the new Nintendos and Playstations and not even blinking an eye?

Anyway, to answer your question, you show them a budget, you explain to them why we can afford these things, that necessities come first, etc. Of course this is when they are old enough to understand that. When they are younger I agree about the giving back and teaching that we take care of our things, etc.

 

[Frantasmic]

We give our kids an allowance starting at age 5. One dollar for each year in age per week. Until they are 12, we withold both savings and charity for them. At age 12, they get it all, but are expected to save some and give some to charity.

When my daughter turns 14, we will work on an actual budget and increase her responsibility for purchasing her own items. Hopefully by the time she is 16-17, she will be in charge of all her expenses except underwear. We won't let her get a job during school either. This concept will teach her how to budget, forecast, spend, and save.

 

[minnieandme]

Both of my DS's get an allowance that they have to earn by doing household chores. If you miss something for the week, too bad. They know not to ask me for anything when we go in the store. If it's something they want, they have to save up for it. It's funny how before I started doing that, they wanted everything they saw. Now that they know it's coming out of their pocket, it's not that important. They actually hold onto their money now instead of running to spend it.

 

[Robinrs]

I want to know how a purse is different from an expensive WDW vacation or a gaming console? Why does a purse get everyone up in arms, but people are prepaying for the new Nintendos and Playstations and not even blinking an eye?

Anyway, to answer your question, you show them a budget, you explain to them why we can afford these things, that necessities come first, etc. Of course this is when they are old enough to understand that. When they are younger I agree about the giving back and teaching that we take care of our things, etc.

The difference is I have an expensive computer, digital camera and TV but am carrying around the same old Coach I bought on eBay for $25 a few years ago! A designer purse is basically for social status. It's not fun, useful, a loving memory or necessary. I personally do not buy gaming systems but WOULD before attaching my child to a status symbol that can be lost or stolen. As for my trips that's quality time, how can it be compared to a personal item like a purse?
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[Kim1964]

My 10 year old earns money keeping an eye on my 4 year old when I do my workouts. She also receives money from relatives at holidays and birthdays. The rule is that half of everything she earns/receives HAS to go to her savings account. She can spend the other half any way she chooses. I am really hoping to get her into the habit of saving some portion of everything that comes her way.....I didn't learn that until I was well into my 30s, and I wish I'd gotten it a lot sooner.

We cover all of the necessities, but there are extras that she has to pay for if she wants them. For example, we pay for her school lunches, extra drinks, and extra food on the days they serve something she really likes. We don't pay for the frozen treats they sell on Fridays for $1. If she wants one, she pays for it.

This last trip to WDW, she had Disney dollars that she got as gifts and cash that she had earned. We told her that was her spending money, and when it was gone, it was gone. It was interesting to watch how carefully she thought about her souvenir choices, and it was nice to not have the constant, "Can you buy me this?" everywhere we went. She actually came home with money left!

I'm also pretty careful about how I respond to requests for things I am not willing to purchase/do. We are blessed with a good income, so most things that she could ask for are things we can technically "afford", but we choose not to do all of them. I never say, "We can't afford it". I always answer, "We don't choose to spend our money that way". I want her to understand that it's about choices, and that choosing to say no to something you can afford because you'd rather spend that money some other way (or save it) is a responsible way to live.

 

[MoniqueU]

I want to know how a purse is different from an expensive WDW vacation or a gaming console? Why does a purse get everyone up in arms, but people are prepaying for the new Nintendos and Playstations and not even blinking an eye?

i would have to say here if I buy my son a video game system I know he will play it for years and years to come, If I buy my daughter a purse I am not positive that she will still like it in 6 months. That would be the main distinction fot me personally. And I did buy the XBOX 360 last year and would be willing to spend a good amount of money on a purse for myself or someone close to me. Just not my 8 year old.

 

[Hedy]

Honestly, I'm not sure that the $175 purse indicates fiscal irresponsability. That said, I *think* that part of teaching kids about money is teaching them to spend, as well as save.

 

[disneyfan67]

The difference is I have an expensive computer, digital camera and TV but am carrying around the same old Coach I bought on eBay for $25 a few years ago! A designer purse is basically for social status. It's not fun, useful, a loving memory or necessary. I personally do not buy gaming systems but WOULD before attaching my child to a status symbol that can be lost or stolen. As for my trips that's quality time, how can it be compared to a personal item like a purse?
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That's a damn good answer and I feel the same way. A lot of what you see people wear or use in today's society is for a status symbol. Purses, gym shoes, certain brand of clothes, jewerly, etc, is to show people, hey look at me! It's gotten to the point that everything has a status symbol to it and some people determine class or social status by it.

I also don't consider a WDW vacation to be in that group because as you said yourself, "that's quality time" and those memories that can't ever be replaced. It's something the whole family can look back on with fondness and enjoyment. You can't do that with a 200 dollar pair of kid tennis/gym shoes or an expensive purse. I would never buy something like that for my kid and would make them get a job when they get older and earn it themselves. They can make the decision and decide if it's worth it for them. That's the beauty of working for something.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I don't consider my handbags, gym shoes, car, etc. a status symbol. I enjoy all of my "toys", and don't care what others think about them. And when I said WDW vacation, maybe I should have said Polynesian Lagoon View Concierge. I mean if it's just all about memories then POP Century and the All Star resorts should just be fine for everybody.

You do what's good for your family and I'll do what is good for mine. It really doesn't matter what items are improtant to each of us.

Oh one other thing we have done for the kids is that they have a separate savings account for cars. Whatever they save, we will match. DD has done great. DS not so much. That is REAL lesson that will be coming down soon.

 

[disneyfan67]

I don't consider my handbags, gym shoes, car, etc. a status symbol. I enjoy all of my "toys", and don't care what others think about them. And when I said WDW vacation, maybe I should have said Polynesian Lagoon View Concierge. I mean if it's just all about memories then POP Century and the All Star resorts should just be fine for everybody.

You do what's good for your family and I'll do what is good for mine. It really doesn't matter what items are improtant to each of us.

Oh one other thing we have done for the kids is that they have a separate savings account for cars. Whatever they save, we will match. DD has done great. DS not so much. That is REAL lesson that will be coming down soon.

One thing that is my fault is, that I meant to say those items mentioned above are a status symbol for kids/teens in school. I didn't mean to paint everyone who buys those items in a corner because an adult who earns their own way in life deserves to purchase whatever makes them happy. It's their business and I don't want to get into a class warfare type of thing because that's not what I'm about. I should have been clearer in my previous post.

I'm talking about giving a child lavish, non essential items like a Coach purse, expensive designer clothes, etc. A 8 year old kid doesn't need a $200+ dollar pair of Nike gym shoes but when older, can get a real part time job and see how hard it is to save up for them. When you just keep giving young children expensive items without a clue on what it took to earn it, then you're breeding or instilling an entitlement mentality in them. They will expect that kind of thing all their life and as well all know, the real world doesn't work like that.

 

[noodleknitter]

Materialism is rampant. I see no reason to instill it in our children, intentionally.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

I'm talking about giving a child lavish, non essential items like a Coach purse, expensive designer clothes, etc. A 8 year old kid doesn't need a $200+ dollar pair of Nike gym shoes but when older, can get a real part time job and see how hard it is to save up for them. When you just keep giving young children expensive items without a clue on what it took to earn it, then you're breeding or instilling an entitlement mentality in them. They will expect that kind of thing all their life and as well all know, the real world doesn't work like that.

I agree with this. But I can understand buying such items for a special occassion such as Christmas or a birthday, at an appropriate age when they can understand the value of such an item. And that goes for shoes, computers, gaming systems, etc.

 

[Enchanted Tiki Bird]

I think this is a really important discussion to have and thank the OP for sharing her opinion. I don't think, though, you can say that it's okay for adults to indulge in lavish items but not their children because the two are very much connected. As most of the literature on parenting will say, children learn primarily by example. So if Mom is buying $200 purses at boutiques but telling her daughter that she gets a $10 handbag from the mall, what kind of message is that sending? The "do as I say but not as I do" school of parenting usually fails.

It doesn't matter to me how hard someone works, that still doesn't entitle them to live a lavish lifestyle while other people in this world suffer. I don't care how old you are, there is no need to own a $125 purse or $150 pair of running shoes. Think of where that money could be better used.

Take your kids to a soup kitchen for the day to donate time and money or to a breakfast program for street people or to the local chapter of the AIDS coaltion. Those are the real lessons to teach your children.

And I know that there will be people inevitably who will respond to this saying that it's none of my business how your family chooses to spend their money and I don't intend to dictate that to you. I just wanted to provide some food for thought to those of us lucky enough to have food AND thought.

 

[TinkNH]

I agree with this. But I can understand buying such items for a special occassion such as Christmas or a birthday, at an appropriate age when they can understand the value of such an item. And that goes for shoes, computers, gaming systems, etc.

Do you think an 8 yr old really understands the value of an expensive handbag? I used to teach and know a lot of 8 yr olds and I personally think one who DOES would be the exception.

Personally I think the handbag issue..to me it just seems like a frivilous waste of money to drop several hundred dollars on a BAG..particularly in the case of ppl like my SIL who is racking up huge credit card debt buying the latest coach bag and then getting bored with it or saying it is out of style 2 months later. If you are an adult who understands the value of money and have enough that you can afford these things..I see no issue..thats why they would be called 'luxuries' I think. And that goes for game consoles, and vacations as well, but with many many less expensive alternatives to a nearly $200 pocket book...perhaps it seems more frivilous to some

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Do you think an 8 yr old really understands the value of an expensive handbag? I used to teach and know a lot of 8 yr olds and I personally think one who DOES would be the exception.

Personally I think the handbag issue..to me it just seems like a frivilous waste of money to drop several hundred dollars on a BAG..particularly in the case of ppl like my SIL who is racking up huge credit card debt buying the latest coach bag and then getting bored with it or saying it is out of style 2 months later. If you are an adult who understands the value of money and have enough that you can afford these things..I see no issue..thats why they would be called 'luxuries' I think. And that goes for game consoles, and vacations as well, but with many many less expensive alternatives to a nearly $200 pocket book...perhaps it seems more frivilous to some

I guess you missed the part where I said at the appropriate age when they can understand the value. I do not believe in going into debt for such things. Presents are paid for in CASH (well actually credit card for my Disney Rewards, but promptly paid off).

I think this is a really important discussion to have and thank the OP for sharing her opinion. I don't think, though, you can say that it's okay for adults to indulge in lavish items but not their children because the two are very much connected. As most of the literature on parenting will say, children learn primarily by example. So if Mom is buying $200 purses at boutiques but telling her daughter that she gets a $10 handbag from the mall, what kind of message is that sending? The "do as I say but not as I do" school of parenting usually fails.

It doesn't matter to me how hard someone works, that still doesn't entitle them to live a lavish lifestyle while other people in this world suffer. I don't care how old you are, there is no need to own a $125 purse or $150 pair of running shoes. Think of where that money could be better used.

Take your kids to a soup kitchen for the day to donate time and money or to a breakfast program for street people or to the local chapter of the AIDS coaltion. Those are the real lessons to teach your children.

And I know that there will be people inevitably who will respond to this saying that it's none of my business how your family chooses to spend their money and I don't intend to dictate that to you. I just wanted to provide some food for thought to those of us lucky enough to have food AND thought.

Giving to others through time and money is extremely important, I agree. Children absolutely need to learn the value in that. People can do both.

 

[lowie]

sorry, but i think that if i work hard and make enough money to buy my dd expensive gifts such as purses that it won't make her a money grubbing spoiled brat. my dd got a coach for her b-day and just recently a d&b. she cherishes those items, way more then any gaming system or $100 pair of shoes.
growing up my parents worked extremely hard to make enough money for us to want for nothing.. i didn't turn out too bad. i work hard, own a home, don't drink, smoke or do drugs.
i say to each his/her own and don't judge people for wanting to raise their kids how they see fit.