8th grade "graduation"

[NYCDiane]

My daughter will be done with 8th grade this year. Of course, they're having a "graduation" ceremony and a dance. She's not interested in the dance but will be attending the "graduation" ceremony.

According to her, all the girls are getting new dresses for the ceremony (even though they will be covered with a cap/gown and there is no "afterparty" ---- once the ceremony is over, that's it)

Anyway, I'm honestly not in a position to spend $50-$75 on a dress for this. First, to me, there is no "accomplishment" involved. They went to school for 9 years because they HAD to, not because they wanted to. If there's going to be a ceremony, why not one for the parents who had to get them up everyday, make their breakfasts, get them to the bus on time, help with projects and homeworks, chaperoned class trips/parties, etc etc etc etc????

Back on topic..... On the one hand, I honestly don't have the $$ to lay out for a one-time use dress (chances are, she won't wear it again and I'll end up giving it away). On the other hand, "everyone" is getting a new dress and I don't want to be the "mean" one.

Sigh..........

 

[okeydokey]

When the kids say "everyone" I figure maybe 40 to 50%. If it's not in the budget, it just isn't.

However, if you have a Ross near you, you can pick one up for 10 to 15.

 

[kirstenb1]

Our dd is doing eighth grade graduation too. She's pretty easy going about things like this though. I asked what she wanted to wear, and she said she'd just do her spaghetti strap summer dress with a cardigan over it. (she can be very spendy on the other hand if it's something she'll wear most of the year, like hoodies or jeans!!)

 

[dallastxcpa]

I think 8th grade graduations are the most ridiculous things. Honestly, I could understand them having them back in the 30's or 40's because not everyone went on to highschool, but now days it's just silly.

One of my co-workers kids had an eighth grade graduation on Friday Then he goes back to school for two more weeks... At least if you are going to do it have it the last week of school.

I feel for you in the dress situation. Been there done that on a budget and it's really bad when you honestly know they won't wear it again. Do you have a friend with a daughter near her age that you could borrow a dress from.

 

[4luv2cdisney]

My DD and I agreed that she should pick a dress that can be worn to church or summer parties, etc. There were many to choose from at Kohl's for under $30. I believe my DD chose one for less than $20.

 

[luvmy3]

In my experience when dd says "everyone" she is talking about a few kids. Besides that, when I talk to the moms I usually get the real story, like in your case the girls probably think they are getting new dresses, but mom has a different idea

If you were to decide to get her a dress, check JCPenney. I got my dd her dress for semi-formal there and it was $30, and another dress that was dressy but less formal for a concert she was in, for $25.

 

[Hannathy]

I would get her a summer sundress. She will have a gown on over it (which I think is crazy, but I digress) and it will probably be hot.
Get her a pretty bright cotton one that she can wear all summer. And they aren't very expensive, our Walmart and Target had some cute ones. I also think a lot of girls will be getting something new, I know in my DD's class most did. I wouldn't get her a dressy dress.

I would encourage her to go to the dance if they are having it.

 

[sk!mom]

Forever 21...love that store and love that it's "in" right now with teens. If you can't afford it, you can't afford it. I would buy my DD a new dress but would go to Forever 21 with a $30 budget. At DD's school, "everyone" probably would have a new dress. DD would also go to the dance so at least the dress would be seen.

 

[cinabug]

At the school where I teach they really will pretty much all have new dresses. They don't wear graduation robes, and it's a small rural town without many dress up occasions, but this is one that is a tradition. Some do borrow something, but it would be unusual for a kid to not have something special for this one occasion. As I staff, we often talk about giving up the 8th grade ceremony, especially since grades 6-12 are all in the same building, but it has lots of community support, so we keep doing it.

Maybe check with other parents or the class advisers. In any case, I can't see why it should be $50-$75. You can't even tell what brand a dress is, so there is little pressure to purchase something from a specific store like there often is for branded merchandise like jeans and hoodies.

 

[LJSquishy]

I'm with you on 8th grade graduations being rediculous! I never had one when I was a kid and it seems like nowadays they try to make everything a celebration.

If it truly isn't in your budget, you just have to stand firm. A new dress to wear under her gown isn't worth blowing your budget! I would suggest taking a look at the dresses she may already have and seeing if you can come up with a way to add a few embellishments to refresh them, or as someone else mentioned, check somewhere like Ross/TJ Maxx. Definitely go for something that she can even wear casually in the summer rather than a semi-formal type dress if you do decide to purchase one for her.

 

[WVMomof3]

I also suggest Penneys/Target/Walmart. They all have cute dresses right now for $20-30. I just bought my daughter her 8th grade dance dress at Penneys for less than $25. It was a nice sundress.

 

[Gina-Gina-Bo-Bina]

I agree with the other posters about going with a sundress. She will be cooler, its something she can wear all summer, and it shouldnt set you back gobs of money. And she will still feel special by having something new to wear .

I will be the lone wolf on this thread to say that I dont think grade 8 graduations are ridiculous, though. For my sons elementary school, while every student received their diploma, it was an opportunity to recognize deserving kids for going above and beyond the requirements with a selection of special awards to honour those achievements. And it wasnt just special recognition for academics....there were awards to recognize leadership, student service, athletics, respect and responsibility, community involvement, etc.

Grade 8 grad is a milestone more than an achievement IMHO. And my personal opinion is that milestones should be celebrated, small or big. Life is short, and you never know whats around the next corner. My son and my dad were best buddies, and my father was proud as punch to watch as his beloved grandson received his grade 8 diploma. Four months later cancer stole him from our family. I am forever grateful he could be there and see the kind of young man my boy was turning out to be.

Enjoy the graduation and approach it with a good attitude. Your daughter will appreciate it and it will be a fond memory for her if nothing else. Enjoy the moment, because believe me....they grow up way too fast.

 

[mhsjax]

I agree with some others, if you fell the mommy guilt over this, then go get her a little sundress that she can wear to church(if you are church goers) or one that can be worn out to dinner, or whatever. If you don't want to give into the mommy guilt just let her wear a dress that she already has, especially if she isn't going to the dance.

FWIW, I agree with you an the parents award thing.

 

[kamik86]

My 8th grade graduation didn't have caps and gowns. I didn't get a new dress... I don't even know if I had a dress, or what I wore...

Awards were given separately and that was the part I cared more about... the graduation was just kind of dumb.

Then again I wasn't too impressed by my high school graduation although I am glad I went to that one, my college graduation bored me and I kind of wish I skipped it. I didn't go to the one for my masters.

 

[pigletto]

I agree with the other posters about going with a sundress. She will be cooler, its something she can wear all summer, and it shouldnt set you back gobs of money. And she will still feel special by having something new to wear .

I will be the lone wolf on this thread to say that I dont think grade 8 graduations are ridiculous, though. For my sons elementary school, while every student received their diploma, it was an opportunity to recognize deserving kids for going above and beyond the requirements with a selection of special awards to honour those achievements. And it wasnt just special recognition for academics....there were awards to recognize leadership, student service, athletics, respect and responsibility, community involvement, etc.

Grade 8 grad is a milestone more than an achievement IMHO. And my personal opinion is that milestones should be celebrated, small or big. Life is short, and you never know whats around the next corner. My son and my dad were best buddies, and my father was proud as punch to watch as his beloved grandson received his grade 8 diploma. Four months later cancer stole him from our family. I am forever grateful he could be there and see the kind of young man my boy was turning out to be.

Enjoy the graduation and approach it with a good attitude. Your daughter will appreciate it and it will be a fond memory for her if nothing else. Enjoy the moment, because believe me....they grow up way too fast.

Gina, I agree with you completely. I think maybe it's a regional thing? Grade 8 graduation was a big deal here. Not limos or anything! But a pretty dress and a ceremony at the local high school, and dinner at a restaurant afterwards and a dance. It marked a big change in dd's life! It was primary school for 9years with the same kids and now they were transitioning to high schools with thousands of students.
I didn't resent it at all and the other parents were all smiling and snapping pictures. It was a lovely day!!

Again, I think it may be regional? The same way nobody around here has huge sweet sixteen parties, or we don't make the same fuss over senior portraits.

So.. op. Obviously I think it's an occasion worth remembering but it's always been that way around here and was really important to the kids. DD was valedictorian and it was just a lovely day.
Maybe as others have suggested a pretty sundress which can easily found in the 15-20 range? An older cousin/friend/neighbor she could borrow something from?


ETA) And for what it's worth the dress has been worn 3 more times this year. Twice to wedding rehearsal dinners and once to another occasion. They also didn't wear caps or gowns over their dress up clothes.

 

[jakenjess]

My kids did have 8th grade graduations, but they went to a K-8 school, very small, only about 30 kids per class. It was really nice, but there were no caps and gowns so my DD did get a new dress (actually two, because there was an awards banquet/dance also!). We got her dresses at Deb and they were really reasonable, and I also second the idea of checking Forever 21. DD just got a super cute sundress there for $22.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I agree with the other posters about going with a sundress. She will be cooler, its something she can wear all summer, and it shouldnt set you back gobs of money. And she will still feel special by having something new to wear .

I will be the lone wolf on this thread to say that I dont think grade 8 graduations are ridiculous, though. For my sons elementary school, while every student received their diploma, it was an opportunity to recognize deserving kids for going above and beyond the requirements with a selection of special awards to honour those achievements. And it wasnt just special recognition for academics....there were awards to recognize leadership, student service, athletics, respect and responsibility, community involvement, etc.

Grade 8 grad is a milestone more than an achievement IMHO. And my personal opinion is that milestones should be celebrated, small or big. Life is short, and you never know whats around the next corner. My son and my dad were best buddies, and my father was proud as punch to watch as his beloved grandson received his grade 8 diploma. Four months later cancer stole him from our family. I am forever grateful he could be there and see the kind of young man my boy was turning out to be.

Enjoy the graduation and approach it with a good attitude. Your daughter will appreciate it and it will be a fond memory for her if nothing else. Enjoy the moment, because believe me....they grow up way too fast.

I agree with this, both the sundress suggestion and the sentiment about 8th grade graduations. It is a milestone, plus it breaks up their schooling and makes them feel like they're going somewhere. Middle school is a difficult transition period and I feel like they deserve to celebrate their success in making it through.

 

[bpesch]

"Everyone is doing it" has never been a good enough reason for me to do anything. Rarely does "everyone" really mean "everyone". And even if it did, why should it matter? Just another case of peer pressure, and I've never been very good about following the pack. If you can't afford the dress, that should be the end of the conversation.

 

[wdwmom0f3]

My DD is also moving from the 8th grade to the HS right now, but we didn't have a graduation. Although I think it's a big milestone, I see no need for a graduation.

Do you think the dress is more for the dance than for the graduation? I can see my DD saying that it was mainly for the dance. Knowing the girls here, most would be getting new dresses for this too so I would try to make that happen for her if I could. Like others have said, you should be able to find one for less than $40.00. Check Ross, TJ Maxx and places like that.

Congratulations to your DD! They are growing up so fast!

 

[marmalade]

I agree with the other posters about going with a sundress. She will be cooler, its something she can wear all summer, and it shouldnt set you back gobs of money. And she will still feel special by having something new to wear .

I will be the lone wolf on this thread to say that I dont think grade 8 graduations are ridiculous, though. For my sons elementary school, while every student received their diploma, it was an opportunity to recognize deserving kids for going above and beyond the requirements with a selection of special awards to honour those achievements. And it wasnt just special recognition for academics....there were awards to recognize leadership, student service, athletics, respect and responsibility, community involvement, etc.

Grade 8 grad is a milestone more than an achievement IMHO. And my personal opinion is that milestones should be celebrated, small or big. Life is short, and you never know whats around the next corner. My son and my dad were best buddies, and my father was proud as punch to watch as his beloved grandson received his grade 8 diploma. Four months later cancer stole him from our family. I am forever grateful he could be there and see the kind of young man my boy was turning out to be.

Enjoy the graduation and approach it with a good attitude. Your daughter will appreciate it and it will be a fond memory for her if nothing else. Enjoy the moment, because believe me....they grow up way too fast.

I agree with you! 8th grade, at least around here, is the end of an era. They are moving up to the High School, and are no longer in grammar/middle school. I like the idea of a graduation, ending one stage and beginning another.

As far as the dress, you can get cute summer dresses for cheap. The only thing my DD wears in the summer is sun-dresses and bathing suits and I never spend more than $20 on them.

I am so sorry about your son, cancer is the devil.