The European Commission has announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU, rather than German, which was the other contender.
Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had room for improvement and has therefore accepted a five-year phasing in of "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make sivil servants jump for joy.
The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k", Which should klear up some konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f", making words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
By the fourth yer, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and everivun vil find it ezi to understand ech ozer.
Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
(Und efter ze fifz yer, u vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.)
DS was hungry for the first time in 3 days so I ordered what he wanted. Cleaned here too today.
