7 year old question? Parent vent! long

[Pembo]

My 7 1/2 yo ds is being unusually difficult as of late. Last night he was sobbing in his bed and wouldn't tell me why. I questioned him from every angle I could think of to no avail. He said he was allowed to keep secrets from me. I replied yes but not if they upset you this much. I'm not sure what is going on with him.

He is adhd and on meds and we did move 7 weeks ago. I'm wondering if he is depressed?! He did tell me that he wishes he didn't have a brother or a sister. (broke my heart). His siblings are almost 5 and 1. He and his the 5 yo fight continuously. I thought he liked the baby. I'm very worried.

Any thoughts from anyone? Am I overthinking this? Or should I be concerned? He was with my parents all week and I have to admit our household was much more settled. Within minutes of him coming home his brother was crying that he did whatever to him.

Right now he is at a new friends and they want to go to the pool and we're not letting him go because we can't go. He is going to be so angry with us but it is out of our comfort level to let him go.

I never imagined raising kids would be this hard.

If you are still reading this, thanks so much for listening.

 

[nhmomx2]

Pembo, so sorry to hear of your difficulties with your DS. There are times when I just can't reach my DS too (I told my DH that I swear he has perpetual PMS!). Don't despair. I would think the majority of his frustration right now is from the move. Don't give up on him- or yourself. Just the mere fact you are reaching out for some clues from others show just how much you care One day at a time...

Good luck!!

 

[tiggerlover]

First of all let me offer you some of these {{{HUGS}}} {{{HYGS}}} {{{HUGS}}}. I think you may have more than one thing going on here, first being the move and second being he is 7-1/2. My friends have gone through this stage that starts around 7-1/2 and lasts until about 8, my son just turned 7 in June, so we haven't reached this stage yet, but I have definitely seen it in action with at least three of my friends children. I don't have any advice except to be consistent and patient, I am definitely not looking forward to this difficult period. Now with the move, there I am very experienced as we are military and move every three years on average. We moved to Italy almost 18 months ago and this was DS's second move, however, it was his most difficult move. At first he seemed to handle the move well, but once we were here about 2-1/2 to 3 months he became a different child. He had trouble in school, he would cry for no reason and was just generally not a happy camper anymore. Remember that when you move a young child you are taking away everything that is a constant to them, everything they have know to be their safe and protected zone is now somewhere strange and new. With patience, understanding and love we managed to help him through this life changing event and I know you can too. More {{{HUGS}}} and prayers coming your way.

 

[mrsv98]

First here are some {{{HUGS}}} raising kids is tough! (Well sometimes! ) When you moved, did you change school districts? Could he be anticipating starting a new school, new kids, new teachers, etc? Some children have a harder time dealing with change and if you add in the ADHD, it can really be hard. Most kids thrive on routine and then you change the routine and they go nuts. The other thing I might do if this persists is mention it to his doc. I don't know much about ADHD meds but I know medication in general can sometimes increase anxiety. Good luck and remember, this too shall pass (says the mom dealing with the whiney 3's! )

 

[Cindy B]

Pembo--

All I can say is that my son is emotional as well. My daughter is very happy, go lucky, social.. but my son cries at the drop of a hat, and is very compulsive. I have to wonder if it is OCD or something else.. like a situational disorder. He does ok in certain situations, but not all.

We have asked school and doctors regarding ADD and he doesn't exemplify all the situations. I'm not sure what to do either.


Anyway, I would just try your best. We just moved recently as well. ANyway, I will pray for you

 

[goofy4tink]

Poor little guy!!! And poor mom. Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. It hurts so when our kids are unhappy. I would think he has several things going on. Being 7 1/2, those pesky siblings, a move, and now the start of a new school year. And I completely understand your 'comfort zone' issues. I've tried explaining that to my 9 y/o dd. She thinks I'm treating her like a baby. Tough. I really can't suggest anything. Just lots of hugs. Maybe some time with just him, maybe lunch, school shopping. Maybe a friend to sleep over. Good luck. It does get easier, then it gets harder again.

 

[KathyTX]

Awww... poor little guy.

He's at an age where he's transitioning from a little kid to a big kid. They're becoming more aware of friendships and popularity, and get very worried about who likes them and who doesn't. This is normal at this age. They're trying to figure out where they fit into the world.

Between the move, anticipating starting at a new school, returning from a week as the center of attention at Grandma's to sharing the house with two younger siblings, he may be feeling a little lost and scared.

This doesn't sound like something you need to "fix." I'd just let him know how important he is to you and the family, and support his developing sense of self in whatever little ways you can. Listen if he wants to talk, but don't take it personally if he doesn't.

Best of luck to all of you.