7 months pregnant and husband having an affair...what now?

[pumba]

When someone we know and cared about was going thru this ...before her baby was born she asked the lawyer...do we have to take his last name...and she said ...you can name your child Mickey Mouse and it will be fine...so maybe take your maiden name back when you get divorced ...and the baby could already have your maiden name...that way ...no problems with him having a different last name then yours...just a thought..
NOW
SO happy you are home and safe with your amazing parents...one step at a time sweetie...one day...we are here for you as your parents and relatives are there for you..
Hugs

 

[It'sWDW4me]

When someone we know and cared about was going thru this ...before her baby was born she asked the lawyer...do we have to take his last name...and she said ...you can name your child Mickey Mouse and it will be fine...so maybe take your maiden name back when you get divorced ...and the baby could already have your maiden name...that way ...no problems with him having a different last name then yours...just a thought..
NOW
SO happy you are home and safe with your amazing parents...one step at a time sweetie...one day...we are here for you as your parents and relatives are there for you..
Hugs

You have a few weeks to let things settle down and get your thoughts in order but I do second this suggestion. Give this some serious thought over the coming weeks. You can get the ex's name cleanly and completely out of your life. Give DS your maiden name at birth and then reclaim your maiden name for yourself as soon as you officially drop that 200 pounds (or so) of LOSER!

 

[Tuffcookie]

I just wanted to let you guys know I got to Canada safely. The flight was uneventful and so far the baby seems to be doing fine. We have our Dr appointment tomorrow morning to double check on him (and on me, I guess.)

Leaving was the hardest and most horrible thing I've ever had to do. It's been a nightmare since I got back too. It's honestly too horrible to talk about right now, I'll update you guys on the details when I can. I feel like the worst person in the world. I miss my cats. I want to go to bed and wake up and have this all have been a bad dream. My dad made an appointment for me to see a counselor next week, which I guess might be helpful.

Anyway, enough of the dramatics. I'll update quickly tomorrow after the Dr appointment, but I might need some time to talk everything else.

No doubt, he has been calling you, trying to lay a guilt trip on you.

Time to get new cell phones, all-around and I agree with whoever said "turn the cell phone over to your parents". You may make a call, in a weak moment, and regret it later.

TC

 

[4nana]

So good to hear you are back home and surrounded safe and sound by those who truly love you and baby . Lord knows, you are not the worst person in the world, you were forced into survival mode and doing what's best to protect yourself and innocent child... mentally, physically and spiritually. I can't begin to imagine how you must be feeling, just remember to stay strong, take it one day at a time, lean on your faith, loving parents and family.

You can do this, you and your lil one are top priority and deserve the best life has to offer . Best wishes sweetie, your parents and counselor will help you work through all this anxiety and to be strong. Know, many Dis friends are praying for you and your lil blessing.

Godspeed and your sweet baby

 

[Mkrop]

Hugs TRK! Stay Strong! I know this has been a roller coaster but you are home safe with love and family to support you and your little man!

 

[dsneprincess]

Op, I just found & read the entire thread. You are an amazing women with amazing parents. You will be an amazing mom! You just took the first (but probably not last) hard steps to protect your baby as a mama should! I really don't have words for your DuH! Well, I do.....just can't use them here.
When you start to feel down, which is understandable with all you are going through, just remember that you & your baby have touched all our lives through this post. We are awed by your strength, intelligence & clear thinking in this situation. You have safely extracted you & your baby from a potentially dangerous situation! We are all rooting for you! Good decisions, OP! Congratulations on your safe return to Canada!

 

[gottaluvPluto]

Can the Op tell her DH to stop calling and go through a lawyer for all communication? I know I would hate to talk to this man and I would want a middle person to do all the communicating for me.

 

[TRK0011]

Just letting you know baby and I are OK.

I had an ultrasound at my appointment this morning, and got to see him wiggling around in there. At one point, the ultrasound tech showed me where his hands were right in front of his face, and I put my hand on my stomach right there - he reached up with one little hand and pressed it against mine, I could feel this tiny little hand against mine. For a second or two, I actually smiled. So I know when he gets here, I will begin to feel better.

 

[goofyintoronto]

Just letting you know baby and I are OK.

I had an ultrasound at my appointment this morning, and got to see him wiggling around in there. At one point, the ultrasound tech showed me where his hands were right in front of his face, and I put my hand on my stomach right there - he reached up with one little hand and pressed it against mine, I could feel this tiny little hand against mine. For a second or two, I actually smiled. So I know when he gets here, I will begin to feel better.

awwwwwwww thats the sweetest thing! Im glad youre safe and now. Once your little one arrives im sure you will be much happier. The best thing that ever happened to me was the birth of my son, despite the situation i was in at the time. Im glad youre safe. Stay strong.

 

[ORMom2Four]

You have been amazing through all of this. I am glad to hear that you are back home, and thrilled that your dad has set up a counseling appointment for you. What a wonderful support they are going to be!

I have not been through this, but have a feeling things are going to feel worse before they feel better--only because you have now left your home, your job, and everything that has been constant. It's a huge adjustment and you are going to have a lot of emotions that are going to test you. Stay strong. It will be at this time in the move that you are going to feel the strongest pull to go back to California.

Make sure you go to the counselor, get in as soon as possible. I hope you can go at least twice a week for awhile.

You are amazing, strong, and I know that you and your child are going to have a wonderful life!

 

[Buckalew11]

Just letting you know baby and I are OK.

I had an ultrasound at my appointment this morning, and got to see him wiggling around in there. At one point, the ultrasound tech showed me where his hands were right in front of his face, and I put my hand on my stomach right there - he reached up with one little hand and pressed it against mine, I could feel this tiny little hand against mine. For a second or two, I actually smiled. So I know when he gets here, I will begin to feel better.

Like he was reaching out to you knowing you and he are a team now! What a sweet moment.

 

[IMissEd]

How sweet. Maybe he knows how much his mommy is fighting for his future. You are a great Mother. A good mom will go to any lengths to protect her cub-and that's just what you're doing.

Keep your chin up.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

Just letting you know baby and I are OK.

I had an ultrasound at my appointment this morning, and got to see him wiggling around in there. At one point, the ultrasound tech showed me where his hands were right in front of his face, and I put my hand on my stomach right there - he reached up with one little hand and pressed it against mine, I could feel this tiny little hand against mine. For a second or two, I actually smiled. So I know when he gets here, I will begin to feel better.

He was giving you a high-five for getting him to a safe and loving place where he can grow up happy!

 

[TraceyDisney2008]

First time poster but I have been reading along and just wanted to say good for you and I am glad you are safe. I dont know what part of Canada you moved back to but I am in the Barrie ON area and if you are anywhere close and need a friend for coffee and a chat I am hear, Please feel free to PM me.

 

[PrincessNancy96]

He was giving you a high-five for getting him to a safe and loving place where he can grow up happy!

That was my exact thought.. He was giving mom a high-five for getting him to a safe and loving place!! I was thinking he was giving her a high-five to say "you rock mom!!"

 

[Tuffcookie]

He was giving you a high-five for getting him to a safe and loving place where he can grow up happy!

OP, There is no stronger bond than that of mother & child. I'm so glad you have that new little one to focus on.

TC

 

[Caropooh]

Like he was reaching out to you knowing you and he are a team now! What a sweet moment.

That's exactly what i was thinking! he's letting you know that he's there for you and knows that you're there for him!

 

[CarolAnnC]

Just letting you know baby and I are OK.

I had an ultrasound at my appointment this morning, and got to see him wiggling around in there. At one point, the ultrasound tech showed me where his hands were right in front of his face, and I put my hand on my stomach right there - he reached up with one little hand and pressed it against mine, I could feel this tiny little hand against mine. For a second or two, I actually smiled. So I know when he gets here, I will begin to feel better.

I am so relieved that you and baby are home with your parents and both safe and healthy. You are a wonderful mom already and your baby will be very lucky that you have loved and taken such good care of him.

As far as the "worst person in the world" well I think that award should go to the grown man who chose a teenage lover over his wife and unborn child.

You did the right thing, since he could not make up his mind about who he would rather stay with, you made the decision for yourself and baby. Kudos to you and your baby, who will have a much better role model in his grandpa (your dad) being in his life as a male influence.

Hugs, and know we are all here when you do feel like venting or need support..

 

[Pugsly]

I just want to say, give your cell phone to your parents until you're feeling better. Block his e-mails, and those of anyone else who's bringing you down. If he keeps calling, have your parents tell him to back off, that you'll call him when you're ready.

Just give yourself the space you need to think, and to heal. And for the love of heaven, don't let anyone make you feel like a horrible person. You have done nothing wrong. Nothing.

Your husband needs to understand that actions come with consequences, and what he did destroyed his marriage. And the responsibility is 100% his. I know he's a child, and he doesn't understand that he can't have everything he wants, but that's the way it is. As a friend in a similar situation said, "you can't un-ring that bell."

I've been following since your first post and have to jump in and say I wholeheartedly agree with this!

When I found out my ex-DuH was cheating on me, my 6-month old son and I took off in the same fashion that you did (left a note and moved back home to a safe and loving environment). I specifically told my parents I would not be answering the phone and to let him know when he called (and yes, he called A LOT - at all hours of the night) that I would speak to him when I was ready.

You are stronger than you realize, OP. And your parents sound amazing! What a wonderful home you are bringing that precious bundle into! He's so lucky to have you as his Mom.

Also happy to hear that everything went well with the Doctor this morning. High fives all around!

Best of luck!

 

[4nana]

Just letting you know baby and I are OK.

I had an ultrasound at my appointment this morning, and got to see him wiggling around in there. At one point, the ultrasound tech showed me where his hands were right in front of his face, and I put my hand on my stomach right there - he reached up with one little hand and pressed it against mine, I could feel this tiny little hand against mine. For a second or two, I actually smiled. So I know when he gets here, I will begin to feel better.

Awwww, wonderful news!

I agree, he was high 5'ing you that everything's going to be alright...thanking you for loving and taking such good care of him.

BTW ~ do you have any names picked out for your lil bundle of joy?