6th Annual Christmas Thread

[pigletgirl]

Trying to decide what to do about my oldest DN. She got married at the beginning of the year and is due with her first child in Nov. I have three nieces. In the past I have always given them the same gift in different colors or patterns, usually a VB bag. I'm obviously sending a baby gift, which is a separate issue. I don't know whether to give her something completely different for Christmas, perhaps for her and her husband and a separate gift for the baby, give her the usual and try to come up with something for the baby and her dh, who none of us have ever met, or just not give her anything and skip right to the one month old -- who can't possibly need anything at that point. I don't want to set a precedent we won't be able to keep up. DN is 24, her sisters are 23 and 14. We have continued to send bday $ and Christmas gifts, when other family members cut them off at 18. I would not have felt right doing that, they were all celebrating Christmas as a family and I wasn't going to send gifts to one girl and not the others, particularly since the older two are adopted -- and other family members have treated them as lesser which makes me crazy, as an adopted child myself. Now the oldest DN will be in another state with her new family. To add to the complication, this is DH's family not mine. I'm an only child and I don't mind buying for these young women for the foreseeable future. We have 1 child, so I think we can keep up with buying for these three as well -- but I'm not sure if that would be weird? In my family we were cut off when we turned 18 on my mom's side. She was the oldest of 12 and I have more cousins than I can count. On my dad's side there were only 3 of us cousins, each separated by 8 years. I am the youngest, and my aunt will still send me somethng occasionally. I am not close to either of her kids. One never sent anything, one used to send things to my son but seem to have cut him off when he turned 13. It seems like now is the time to decide how to proceed...My dh will do whatever I decide, he pays zero attention. He did comment that DN will be lucky to get anything at all for the baby from the rest of his family. Can you tell this is all bouncing around in my head? Maria

RE: the baby.
He/she should be the least of your worries, especially being recently born, come Christmas. DD will be 7 months and we plan on a very minimal year for her. She has absolutely everything she would ever need.

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

Maybe for the baby, diapers and wipes..if it is a bottle-fed baby, how about some Formula? that stuff is all so expensive!! If no formula, more diapers!!!!

 

[pixiedustmomma]

Trying to decide what to do about my oldest DN. She got married at the beginning of the year and is due with her first child in Nov. I have three nieces. In the past I have always given them the same gift in different colors or patterns, usually a VB bag. I'm obviously sending a baby gift, which is a separate issue. I don't know whether to give her something completely different for Christmas, perhaps for her and her husband and a separate gift for the baby, give her the usual and try to come up with something for the baby and her dh, who none of us have ever met, or just not give her anything and skip right to the one month old -- who can't possibly need anything at that point.

I don't want to set a precedent we won't be able to keep up. DN is 24, her sisters are 23 and 14. We have continued to send bday $ and Christmas gifts, when other family members cut them off at 18. I would not have felt right doing that, they were all celebrating Christmas as a family and I wasn't going to send gifts to one girl and not the others, particularly since the older two are adopted -- and other family members have treated them as lesser which makes me crazy, as an adopted child myself.

Now the oldest DN will be in another state with her new family. To add to the complication, this is DH's family not mine. I'm an only child and I don't mind buying for these young women for the foreseeable future. We have 1 child, so I think we can keep up with buying for these three as well -- but I'm not sure if that would be weird? In my family we were cut off when we turned 18 on my mom's side. She was the oldest of 12 and I have more cousins than I can count. On my dad's side there were only 3 of us cousins, each separated by 8 years. I am the youngest, and my aunt will still send me somethng occasionally. I am not close to either of her kids. One never sent anything, one used to send things to my son but seem to have cut him off when he turned 13.

It seems like now is the time to decide how to proceed...My dh will do whatever I decide, he pays zero attention. He did comment that DN will be lucky to get anything at all for the baby from the rest of his family.

Can you tell this is all bouncing around in my head?

Maria

Coming from a pregnant lady, a gift for the baby could easily be an outfit, a gift card to babies'r'us or target for baby products (at that age diaper size can change quickly, or they may be doing cloth), or a $25 savings bond.

My aunts only buy gifts for the kids and never for DH and me. On DH's side only his parents get us gifts, nothing from other family members. We really appreciate the gifts the kids get. Most of the time it is clothing or gift cards.

 

[pigletgirl]

Maybe for the baby, diapers and wipes..if it is a bottle-fed baby, how about some Formula? that stuff is all so expensive!! If no formula, more diapers!!!!

Ask what kind of diapers they use. They aren't all the same.

 

[kkmcan]

Finally got a couple of ideas for my kids.

DD16- Just Dance 4 for Wii, headphones, guitar music, music stand
DD13- NBA2K14 for Xbox 360, Grand Theft Auto Xbox 360, Baseball bat, Xbox 360 Live starter pack

I've got zero ideas for my parents, in laws, sis in law and her family, my sis and her kids.

 

[sarahk0204]

For games, my kids loved the Hullabaloo games, hungry hungry hippos, candy land, operation, and card games like go fish, war, uno.

I totally forgot about Hullabaloo! Great choice.

 

[sarahk0204]

Now, a question for everyone. Should I start wrapping? Maybe the stuff that will go into boxes and not the gift baskets? I don't know what to do! I have no idea if I will be packing to move, moving, not even close... I have no clue. I will be up in Indiana for Christmas one way or another (either living or just going up for a week or so).

I would vote for wrapping the boxes with labels and without bows. Even if you have to move them, they will still take up the same amount of space. Then that is one thing you won't have to do.

 

[sarahk0204]

Trying to decide what to do about my oldest DN. She got married at the beginning of the year and is due with her first child in Nov. I have three nieces. In the past I have always given them the same gift in different colors or patterns, usually a VB bag. I'm obviously sending a baby gift, which is a separate issue. I don't know whether to give her something completely different for Christmas, perhaps for her and her husband and a separate gift for the baby, give her the usual and try to come up with something for the baby and her dh, who none of us have ever met, or just not give her anything and skip right to the one month old -- who can't possibly need anything at that point.

I don't want to set a precedent we won't be able to keep up. DN is 24, her sisters are 23 and 14. We have continued to send bday $ and Christmas gifts, when other family members cut them off at 18. I would not have felt right doing that, they were all celebrating Christmas as a family and I wasn't going to send gifts to one girl and not the others, particularly since the older two are adopted -- and other family members have treated them as lesser which makes me crazy, as an adopted child myself.

Now the oldest DN will be in another state with her new family. To add to the complication, this is DH's family not mine. I'm an only child and I don't mind buying for these young women for the foreseeable future. We have 1 child, so I think we can keep up with buying for these three as well -- but I'm not sure if that would be weird? In my family we were cut off when we turned 18 on my mom's side. She was the oldest of 12 and I have more cousins than I can count. On my dad's side there were only 3 of us cousins, each separated by 8 years. I am the youngest, and my aunt will still send me somethng occasionally. I am not close to either of her kids. One never sent anything, one used to send things to my son but seem to have cut him off when he turned 13.

It seems like now is the time to decide how to proceed...My dh will do whatever I decide, he pays zero attention. He did comment that DN will be lucky to get anything at all for the baby from the rest of his family.

Can you tell this is all bouncing around in my head?

Maria

Maybe this is the time to transition to "family" gifts for the DN who now has a family Something like a restaurant gift card would be nice for the new parents. You could even do someplace like Chili's or Applebees that has curbside pickup, since you are out of state and may not know DN's babysitting options. The other two DN's could be getting the sort of gifts you have given in the past, but then you open the door to altering their gifts as they grow up. Maybe DN 23 buys a condo in the future, and her gift could reflect home ownership. Or whatever.

 

[Pesky]

I'm with ya. Over giving takes away from the meaning of Christmas, the enjoyment of being with family not to mention feeling just as happy to give than to receive. My 3 are the only grandkids because dh and I are only children.

Isn't it the truth?! I learned this too as I watch toys gather dust. Ridiculous to overgive and we focus more on experiences now and fewer gifts for the kids. Among my siblings, we agreed not to exchange gifts (we usually send a token, often a joke) and in DH's family, we draw names. Kids also don't seem so overwhelmed and our families don't seem overwhelmed. Perfect for everyone.

I really want to start wrapping but I haven't seen any wrapping paper out yet.

Costco! Their rolls last FOREVER and it's great quality.

Trying to decide what to do about my oldest DN. She got married at the beginning of the year and is due with her first child in Nov.

I would stick with something small. You can do an outfit (older is usually better), necessities (baby medicine, aquaphor, triple paste, diapers, etc.), soon to be used things like sippy cup (nuby is great), bowls (Ikea has a set of plastic bowls for kids for something like $2 that are AWESOME) and feeding spoons, or something nice like a teething toy or a board book (we started with Brown Bear, Brown Bear reading at 4-6mos). That way it should be doable as there are more children.

 

[kayrosek]

Worfiedoodles,
I agree with the idea of transitioning to a couple or family gift for DN. A gift basket or giftcard would be nice this year and yo could add something small for the baby if you wanted this yea.

 

[Worfiedoodles]

Thanks to everyone for all the great advice. It's been a long time since I had an infant, so the reminders about how quickly they grow (and what they actually need) are really helpful!

And I don't want to feel like the girls are stuck in childhood with their gifts, so it does make sense to transition to a family gift at this point, opening the door for the others as they hit life milestones, too.

I feel like I am still trying to catch up with DN's life. Although she is certainly old enough to get married it came out of left field when she eloped, and then she turned up pregnant a month later (I've heard they know what causes that now!), so she seems to be on fast forward. I thought we would have an engagement, wedding, etc., so although the baby could not be more welcome and I'm so glad she has found happiness and started her family, I'm still mentally thinking of her as a part of her family of origin some of the time. It's good to make the break.

When I shared your thoughts with DH he agreed and said that "married nieces" should get a different gift than "unmarried nieces", or "nieces with their own home", or whatever. It's time and it's ok to treat them differently, they are at different stages in life.

So, now I need a gift for their family -- and I have heard some great suggestions! I think a gift card for dinner out is a great idea, I know they like to go out and if I remember correctly it's still pretty easy to be out and about when they are very little and sleep all the time And even better, I can pick up a little something for the baby, so I will have that fun as well. Not sure if she plans to breastfeed or not, and I would feel funny asking. So I will try to get a more general baby present, speaking of which...

Here's an interesting story --my SIL (the grandmother) decided the baby was a girl and went out and bought a ton of pink stuff. Turns out her 50% chance of being right was wrong, and they are having a boy. My SIL had to return almost everything...

Maria

 

[gracie1]

Well, I'm still plugging along with Christmas shopping Unfortunately, when I went on Kohls and placed my order - it seemed that 95% of the order was for me Oh well, the 30% off savings was a big deal!!
So, I did a little more shopping today, and have now started buying for my dad. Here is the list of ideas:

Dad
Book on cars of the 60's - bought
Disposable razors - bought
Shaving Cream - bought
Under shirts - bought
Subway GC - bought
Panera Bread GC - bought
Starbucks GC - bought
Giftcard holder - bought
Lowes GC - need to get
Walmart GC - need to get
Safeway GC - need to get
Chikfila GC - need to get
McDonalds GC - need to get
Oil change GC - need to get
Scratch offs - Need to get
Deodorant - Need to get

Mom
Gold hoop earrings - bought
Bath and Body works - bought
Deodorant - bought
Laptop lap desk - bought
Tickets to Elvis Show - bought
Coach Purse - bought
Heated Mattress Pad - bought
Loofah Sponges - bought
Scratch offs - still need
Wawa GC - still need
QVC GC - still need

There may be a few other things here and there - but I am sooo happy to be this far along! I love, love, love, love, love Christmas and gift giving!!! Did I mention that I love Christmas?

 

[Deffenm]

My boys finally gave me some ideas - yahoo!

DH wants the new Kindle. He already has one but wants the 8.9" screen so if I get him that then DS12 will get DH's old Kindle Fire HD.

DS12:
DH's Old Kindle Fire
Justin Timberlake new CD
Headphones
Amazon Gift Card for Kindle
Clothes
Lego set or nerf gun
DVD of some sort

DS14:- need more ideas for him
Tickets to Phantom of the Opera
Heated blanket - his request
Clothes
DVD of some sort

DH:- need more ideas for him
New Kindle & case
Amazon Gift Card
Gift cards to Subway, Panera, Chipotle, Mc'D - he goes to soccer coaches convention every Jan. and uses gift cards to help offset cost of trip. I have already cashed in points for a panera and subway card.
Underware

I have no clue what to do for parents and grandparents besides pictures of kids.

 

[ehough]

If anyone is thinking of Bath and Body Works for gifts, they're having some good deals today. Buy 3 get 3 free, as well as $10 off $30!

If you use the coupon HAPPYFALL10, you get free shipping on $30 (plus the B3G3). I'm getting teacher gifts (2 shower gels, 2 lotions, 2 body sprays) and I added a pocket hand sanitizer to hit $30- got it all for $30.75 shipped, or $15 per teacher!

http://hip2save.com/2013/10/02/bath...e-and-online-buy-3-get-3-free-body-care-sale/

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

I don't follow the read/need thing but I do limit our gifts to 5 from Santa and 2-3 from us. They get so much from grandparents. One year I counted my dd received 23 gifts! We only bought 7 of those!

We limit our gifts to 5 also, plus pajamas and a couple books for Christmas Eve. My kids don't really get gifts from other family members, but since we have 5 kids the gifts tended to pile up because they share them and pass them down. Plus this makes the kids really think about what they want before they start asking for everything they see.

 

[mrsbornkuntry]

My dh was just furloughed for the second time this year so I think I've decided we are not going to buy for any adults this year, including each other. DH's mom might be offended (which is ridiculous since she buys whatever she wants anyway), but my kids have to come first.

Today I placed an order for 4 used retro games for DS14. He got a nintendo 64 for his birthday so he wants a couple games for that and gameboy advance sp. I think if I buy them now they'll be cheaper than closer to Christmas.

I have a rc helicopter bought for DS9 from amazon and Disney Infinity which is for all of the kids. I also have a Monsters University pillowcase for DS9 that I got free from Kelloggs.

It's a start, although a slow one for me.

 

[Deffenm]

Maybe you could create a nice "coupon" for the adults. We do this sometimes if we are not sure what to get them or they say they don't want anything, especially DH's grandmother.

Here are some examples that we do:
1/2 day of yard work
Dinner and a movie at our house
Car Wash
Furniture/Junk removal
Free Baby/Dog sitting

The kids help me make them and we put them in nice bags. I also usually include the annual school pictures for the kids. I know not exciting but the parents/grandparents enjoy "cashing" in their coupons.

 

[100AcreWood]

My dh was just furloughed for the second time this year so I think I've decided we are not going to buy for any adults this year, including each other. DH's mom might be offended (which is ridiculous since she buys whatever she wants anyway), but my kids have to come first.

Today I placed an order for 4 used retro games for DS14. He got a nintendo 64 for his birthday so he wants a couple games for that and gameboy advance sp. I think if I buy them now they'll be cheaper than closer to Christmas.

I have a rc helicopter bought for DS9 from amazon and Disney Infinity which is for all of the kids. I also have a Monsters University pillowcase for DS9 that I got free from Kelloggs.

It's a start, although a slow one for me.

Best of luck to you guys. You're right, you have to put your kids first and whoever doesn't understand can get over it. This is the part I dislike about the holidays - other people's expectations. Whether it's around gifts, how much you spent, where you are spending your holidays and with who or crazy traditions that people cannot let go of - some people will be offended no matter what.

Can you tell I have some frustrating relatives?

 

[pigletgirl]

Best of luck to you guys. You're right, you have to put your kids first and whoever doesn't understand can get over it. This is the part I dislike about the holidays - other people's expectations. Whether it's around gifts, how much you spent, where you are spending your holidays and with who or crazy traditions that people cannot let go of - some people will be offended no matter what.

Can you tell I have some frustrating relatives?

I'm to the point now where I almost want to have a pact where we don't exchange gifts with the inlaws (SIL, BIL etc). It gets way too complicated. DH's brother is getting married in March and the girl he's marrying is (the nice way of saying it) CRAZY.. and I know if we give her something she doesn't like we'll hear about it until the end of time. So, we aren't giving to them, and vice versa.

 

[Disney Mommy 3]

Maybe you could create a nice "coupon" for the adults. We do this sometimes if we are not sure what to get them or they say they don't want anything, especially DH's grandmother.

Here are some examples that we do:
1/2 day of yard work
Dinner and a movie at our house
Car Wash
Furniture/Junk removal
Free Baby/Dog sitting

The kids help me make them and we put them in nice bags. I also usually include the annual school pictures for the kids. I know not exciting but the parents/grandparents enjoy "cashing" in their coupons.

That is an AWESOME idea!! I had never thought of that before...I am sure it will be a big hit for anyone receiving it...we all know we really don't NEED anything usually!

Best of luck to you guys. You're right, you have to put your kids first and whoever doesn't understand can get over it. This is the part I dislike about the holidays - other people's expectations. Whether it's around gifts, how much you spent, where you are spending your holidays and with who or crazy traditions that people cannot let go of - some people will be offended no matter what.

Can you tell I have some frustrating relatives?

I'm to the point now where I almost want to have a pact where we don't exchange gifts with the inlaws (SIL, BIL etc). It gets way too complicated. DH's brother is getting married in March and the girl he's marrying is (the nice way of saying it) CRAZY.. and I know if we give her something she doesn't like we'll hear about it until the end of time. So, we aren't giving to them, and vice versa.

AAAAGGGHHHH!!! So true!! Expectations from/of others can be a total Holiday-ruiner!!! And I think once people are married, they shouldn't "expect' a gift..of course, if it's your kids or grandkids and you still want to that is great..but I know people who make lists for their parents and they are grown with children! That always shocks me! LOL!! Maybe it's just because we werent raised that way... To each his own I guess!!