6 Days To GO & Family Tragedy

[Brancaneve]

My heart just sank reading this. The first thing that comes to my mind is how her parents and extended family would feel if you go. Would they be hurt to hear that you went on your trip?

 

[kymom99]

I would leave it up to your husband to decide. When my FIL passed away, his sister was in Europe. He had been ill for a long time and his passing was not unexpected. She talked with him before she left and he wanted her to go on the trip. She missed the funeral, but it couldn't be helped. Let your husband talk to his brother and see how everyone feels about it. I'll bet he will tell him to take your family and enjoy the trip, because life is too short. In the meantime, make some calls and find out what you options are.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

 

[JoyG]

I'm sorry for your loss. You have to do what's right for your family. You're the only one that knows your situation.

We would not be able to go on vacation if my brother lost his child or if my husband's sibling lost a child.

 

[pinktink83]

It depends on how close your husband is to his brother/sister (parent of the child). If you think they will need his support, then at LEAST your husband should go and attend the funeral, and perhaps you can take the kids to DL. We lost a child last year, and it would have hurt me if any of my siblings chose to go to Disneyland instead of going to the funeral. Its a traumatic death- no amount of miles or money should affect immediate family members from attending in my opinion.

But please be very, very sensitive to the family at this time. Whatever you decide to do, at least send flowers and maybe a fruit basket. Losing a child is the absolute worst thing anyone can go through. Having friends and family near during this horrible time is what helps the most. My heart hurts for them.

 

[usschmidt]

My heart goes out to you...whatever you decide it will feel right and wrong both at the same time. I can't speak for you b/c I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your husband's family. However, if it were me I'd probably go. My daughters are 6 and 8 and I'd want to celebrate their lives and spend time with them. However, if the rest of my immediate family did not want to go, I'd postpone.

Hugs to you...

 

[ballarinamom]

I am so sorry for your loss and it is a difficult time for your family. My brother passed away from pancreatic cancer on October 28th. DD's 6th bithday was the 30th (night of the visitation) and Halloween was the 31st (day of the funeral)
Because we did not want to cloud my daughter's view of my brother's death tied to her birthday amd holiday celebrations, we skipped the visitation (it was 2 hours away). My DSIL and parents understood. We left the burial as soon as we could so DD could trick or treat. She understood what happened to my brother but she still got to enjoy her childlike celebration.
Blessings on your decision whatever it may be

 

[QueenDoOver]

I am so sorry for your family's loss.

 

[EmmersIsTheMommy]

No word yet on a cause....just suspicious.

What a horrible thing for a family to endure.

They may not have a funeral & quite frankly I wouldnt blame them.

Woah, it's suspicious? That's awful

 

[Gisele]

I too am so sorry to hear of the passing of your 8 year old relative.
Had she been ill or have any known medical conditions? Regarding the term suspicious, is that term being used by the police? And if so, what is their reasoning?
Regarding your planned trip, if I was in a situation such as yours, I would think in terms of how I feel and what I am reasoning to decide whether or not to go on my trip or post pone it. Instead of allowing the opinions of others or what others may think or perceive your situation to be, to decide for me. It is rather like a family who has every son enter the priest hood, but then there is one son, that unlike his other brothers stands up for themselves, and speaks out, to say what they think and how they feel on the subject, and in the end enter a completely different occupation (Just an example)
Whatever you may decide to do, please do so in peace and take care.

 

[kc10family]

No word yet on a cause....just suspicious.

What a horrible thing for a family to endure.

They may not have a funeral & quite frankly I wouldnt blame them.

Your first post was very sad and this just adds to it.
Suspicious? No funeral? Only 8 yrs old?
This is horrible for your entire family.

Prayers for your entire family and I guess if they are not having a funeral I would go on the trip. I am sure you will find times that you are sad during the trip, but you are correct in spending specail time with your son.

 

[Caropooh]

Only you and your family can decide what to to. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost my mother in Oct '07. She was diagnosed with lung cancer at the beginning of the month and passed away on the 27th. We live in Washington state, she lived in southern California. I had a week trip to WDW with girlfriends planned leaving the night of the 31st. It was a hard decision to make, but I still went on my trip. Everyone was telling me to go, that it's what my Mom would of wanted. It was very hard leaving my DH and DD's home to grieve, but I did it. I had lots of sad moments and tears during the trip, but still had a fun time overall.

 

[blue donkey]

I am sorry that you & yours are experiencing such a tragedy.
I hope that you are able to do whatever is most comfortable for your entire family.

Best wishes.

 

[Minnie&Nana]

....sigh...I am so very, very sorry for the passing of your niece. Her parents and your family are going through the most unthinkable nightmare right now and only you, as family, can decide what to do.

I have been down this road...my son passed unexpectedly...I can assure you that your being there for them will help, and yet absolutely nothing will help. It would be best not ask the mourning parents what you should do - is it not what thy need to be thinking about right now - they are in deep shock and in pain beyond what anyone could begin to imagine (and they will tell you to go because they could not ask you not to go). Do talk about your niece with her parents and within the family, please do not feel you mustn't mention her name or it could cause her parents even more pain....nothing can be more painful that what they are going through...her name and memories are very important now and for the future. She will always be a part of their lives.

You and your husband must decide....how best to honor this child and your family.

If I can be of any help at all, please do not hesitate to pm or email. My heartfelt prayer goes out to all of you.

 

[algamble]

I am so sorry for what you are going through right now. It is always such a tragic loss when a child passes away. The only advice I can think of to give is that, being a family member, you, your husband, the child's parents etc., will each experience things differently. You have to decide what is best for your family right now and not worry about anyone else and what they will think or what the "right" thing to do is. If this trip will forever put a dampened spirit on DL for you, then maybe consider postponing it... But if this is something that your children will benefit from, then absolutely keep your plans. It's all about what you feel in your heart is the right thing to do...
Best wishes!

 

[pixiewings71]

Oh no, suspicious is not good. You have received some very good advice here so I won't add more. I'll just pass on another (((HUG))) to you.

 

[bouncy54]

My brother died 2 weeks before our trip to Disneyland in 2007. We were very close and my grief was profound. My heart didn't feel like going ahead with our vacation, but I had others in my family to think about. After talking it over with my husband, I decided to go ahead with our plans.

My brother knew of our vacation & was happy for us although he was never into the whole Disney thing the way I have always been.

In all truthfulness, it was probably my favorite vacation ever. I took my brother with me in my heart and we had an absolute blast together.