4 yr old does not want to go back to preschool

[fortheluvofpooh]

She has been giving me a hard time for a few weeks about going. She told me she doesn't like the one new aide in school. I asked the teachers about it and they say that is because aide (t) ( I won't use her name) is more stern with the kids and doesn't coddle them. Well I found out today from 3 other moms that their kids don't want to go back either. One of the preschool boys told his mom that aide t growls at them and says mean things. UGH. I am so angry I could spit.

 

[disney_family_1247]

Sounds like a real problem with this aid. Personally, I would not send my child back to that situation. You know that other kids are having similiar issues. Your child might be in danger. Even if it's not that serious, you don't want to have them start their school career with negative feelings.

 

[luvsJack]

Have you talked to the Director of the preschool? You and the other mom's should certainly do so. She may not know that the aide is doing this. People have a way of acting one way in front of "just the kids" and another way in front of the people who they think count, never thinking that the kids will repeat what they say.

I would suggest giving the Director the opportunity to straighten this out for you, but I would most certainly let her know that you will be pulling your child out if something is not done within a certain amount of time (and give her what you feel is the appropriate amount of time).

Going through the channels to get something changed will help your child to understand that there are people who will help a situation in school. You don't want her to feel powerless or like the only answer is to leave.

 

[ShannonMB]

Yikes! I agree with everyone else that this is obviously a problem with the aide, and that something has to be done about it. I would definitely talk to the director, and if that is no help, switch pre-schools.

My DD has been in daycare since she was a baby, and always had no problem adjusting, but we had a problem for the first time last year with the place she went after the school day for a couple hours a week. Luckily, DD was 8 years old and able to express to me exactly what this "teacher" was like. Apparently this person had been with the school for many years, so I didn't even go there -- I just pulled her out. But I cringe to think that if DD was littler and less able to express herself I might have been sending her to the care of that witch indefinitely! If your little one is not herself about school, it definitely bears looking into further.

I'm also definitely NOT one of those parents who picks at every little thing a teacher does, making life impossible for everyone. We are "get along" people, and that's why I knew there was a problem this time. FWIW

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

today is our first day back at preschool and I will be addressing the situation with the Pastor of the church that runs the preschool. We only go T-W-T from 9-11:30 am. I had already talked to the original teacher about DDs fear and it was made out to be just that she doesn't coddle the kids. I am thinking like one poster said that aide t acts one way in front of teachers and another way without them. DEEP CALMING BREATHS!!!

 

[labdogs42]

That stinks. Is there another class your child could switch to? Maybe if enough parents ask to have their children moved, or threaten to pull their kids out, they will address this situation.

 

[fortheluvofpooh]

That stinks. Is there another class your child could switch to? Maybe if enough parents ask to have their children moved, or threaten to pull their kids out, they will address this situation.

unfortunately it is only am or pm and aide t is at both classes. I spoke to the teachers today and informed them what I was told about from the other children and that in no way whatsoever is my dd to be left alone with aide t. As I was leaving the class another mom came up to me and said that she heard I was not happy with aide t and would I mind telling her why, so I did and this other mom told me that aide t called her son a cry baby and a spoiled brat.

I called one of the school board members and spoke to her and then also called pastor of the church that runs the preschool but he was out so I left a message.

 

[princessmom29]

This is absolutely something that needs to be addressed. There is no excuse for an adult calling a child names!! How horrible! Sounds to me like this aide is just no cut out to work with preschool!!!! She would not have lasted in the school where I taught.

 

[luvsJack]

unfortunately it is only am or pm and aide t is at both classes. I spoke to the teachers today and informed them what I was told about from the other children and that in no way whatsoever is my dd to be left alone with aide t. As I was leaving the class another mom came up to me and said that she heard I was not happy with aide t and would I mind telling her why, so I did and this other mom told me that aide t called her son a cry baby and a spoiled brat.

I called one of the school board members and spoke to her and then also called pastor of the church that runs the preschool but he was out so I left a message.

That should be immediate grounds for dismissal!

 

[anotherdisneygal]

I agree with the PP, that aide should be dismissed. A child should NEVER be called a name by an adult. Children should be treated with respect in all situations, especially school.

 

[disneypolybride2008]

awe, i feel bad for the kiddies. It's great that they told you though and didnt just go to school feeling this way. I hope it gets resolved. Maybe request a conference w/ the aid and tell her directly your concerns. Maybe she doesnt realize how mean she is coming off as. Good luck.

 

[mom2val]

No way would my kid go back as long as that aide was there. Trust your gut and do what's right for your kiddo.

 

[Pumbaa_]

How sad is that Kids shouldn't be afraid of what should be their safe place

 

[2binak]

I'm so sorry that you and your DD are going through this Children should not be afraid to go to school. I hope you get to talk to the pastor soon and that they side with the kids & parents and remove this woman from the classrooms and their school.

I always spend a good 10 or so minutes in DD's classroom at both drop off & pick up. I have found that not-so-good teachers will act one way when a parent is present and then act another way when a parent is not present. After a few minutes of being in the room, said teachers tend to forget the parent is there because they shift their focus to the kids. That's when you can really see their true colors. I was amazed at some of the things I saw & heard a couple of teachers at DD's old daycare do & say.

 

[ktlm]

I would hope that what you have done so far, would be enough to have this aide removed. Here's what I would do if what you have done so far does not yield results. I do not know how many children are in your DD's pre-school class, but I would call each and every one of their parents, to see if they or their kids have had problems with this aide or if their kids have been complaining about the aide or not wanting to go to school. You already have 4 mothers who clearly have the same problem you do. Other parents who have not been talking together may not realize that an issue their child has had is not isolated. Some parents may think their child is just adjusting to a new person or acting out, not realizing that it is a widespread problem with the aide and not their child. If this aide is as bad as she sounds, I'm guessing almost every parent is going to find out their kid has an issue with this aide. Then I would schedule a time for all the parents to go together to the pastor and/or school board member and voice your complaints. I would tell the pastor/school board that either this aide goes, or each and every one of your kids is going to be pulled out of this preschool. I'm guessing the minute they hear they are potentially going to lose tuition for a good chunk of the class, this problem will be taken care of. You might even call the parents from the other class and see if they have the same issues too. In this kind of deal, there is definitely strength in numbers. Good luck.

 

[MickeyMomOfThree]

This is very sad. I am a mom of 3 and for the first year, a preschool aide.

If any of the kids I worked with were afraid of me, I'd leave myself (though I am the cuddly, give me a hug type so I don't think that would be the sace.) If I didn't I'd expect I'd be asked to leave. But yo uknow, that isn't always the case.

My oldest DD went to the most amazing preschool. I was so excited for my middle DD to return. She had a great couple of months though there was a lot of talk about how awful the other teacher was. In fact more then half the clss left the school and the teacher remained. A few months into school my DD's teacher left and taking over her class was this teacher. I was nervous but took her to a class. It was a coop so I was there to observe. I did not like what I saaw but gave her a second chance (I again stayed.) Nope, didn't like what I saw and pulled her out of school. That wa when DD10 was 3, they lost half their enrollment that year. 7 years later she is still the teacher there. I am not saying this will be the case, but I would tell OP to go with your gut. If it isn't right with you, pull your child. There are pleanty of preschools and not every kid needs it (my youngest never went for a day and is doing great in school socially and educationally.)

My thoughts are you don't want them to have a bad feeling about school because that may be hard for them to get over.

Best wishes...

 

[Kit'smommy]

This is a tough situation, but you can't let your child get to where she is afraid to go to school.

I went through a similar situation last year with my 4 year old preschooler. He was being bullied on the playground and the teacher didn't catch on until it had been going on for a while. She was not the nicest to begin with, but when my child started getting upset or afraid because of what was going on with the other children, he would come to her looking for comfort and she would put him in time out for not being able to control himself. I pulled him out and my only mistake was not doing so a couple of months earlier when they handled the intial incidents of bullying they caught badly.

So far k-5 at a different school has gone much better and the teacher is really nice and DS adores her.