!3 year old DD beat up at school...WWYD?

[denisenh]

My DD was shoved face first against a brick hallway wall at school today, and then punched several times while a group of kids cheered the fight on... until DD was able to get away, leaving a trail of blood behind.
She is thin and was physically unable to defend herself and it was a surprise attack. She does not know the girl that attacked her and other than being shoved in the hall by her last week in school has had no other contact.
DH picked DD up at school and he did press charges against the girl.
DD is an honors student and is very pretty. I don't know what to do.
Does DD have any rights?

 

[Beth76]

Does DD have any rights?

She has the right to attend school without being assaulted. I don't have any advice, but I'm sorry for your daughter. What did the principal and/or the police say?

 

[ChristmasElf]

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. I am also glad to see that your husband is pressing charges against the other student. Has the school said anything and how they plan to handle this situation?
I would make sure the school knows exactly what is going on and the names of everyone involved before you put her back in that school again.

What in the world is wrong with these bullying kids anyways?

 

[mrsg00fy]

Your husband did the right thing. No one should be brutalized inside school or outside of school. Kids can be so mean....and stupid. It sounds like there may be some jealousy involved. I hope your DD is okay.

 

[mommaU4]

I do not have any legal advice that I can give you. I just wanted to offer my support to you and your family especially your DD. I cannot believe this would happen. Wait. I take that back. I can believe it, and it makes me sick. I am so sorry that happened to her.

How is she doing now? Poor dear, bless her heart. How are you doing? As the mom I would be ready to give that other girl a good taste of her own medicine. I don't care if she is someone else's DD. The thought of anyone picking on my kids would make my blood boil. I can feel myself getting mad and it's not even my kid!!

I am so glad that your DH pressed charges. And I am so tired of schools that do nothing about bullies and incidents like this. Do not let them get away with it. Although I am sure this will be hard for your DD. Good luck to you all. Please let us know how things turn out.

 

[Wish Upon A Star]

I would of definitely filed charges as well . . .as far as what else can be done is that the student who physically assaulted your daughter should be facing a 10 day out of school suspension as well as a possible expulsion from school. You should speak with your DD's administrator or principal and make sure that is being done because you want to ensure your DD's safety at school.

 

[MsDisney23]

Oh your poor baby! This just broke my heart! Your DH did the right thing and I would also follow through with the school system. We now have what they call a ZERO tollerance in our school system. One fight and your suspended for 10 days, If charges are brought up you, then you must go to the Alternate school.

I hope your DD feels better soon! This might be a good time to look into some self defense class for her as well. Just a suggestion.

 

[denisenh]

I called the doctor after I saw the amount of blood that had dried on her clothes when she came through the door. He had her go to the ER.
DD doesn't cause trouble. Sometimes when I hug her I feel that she is so vunerable, so tiny.
An assistant principal just called and wants me to go in for a meeting in the morning. I don't know what to ask or do. I don't think that the girl that beat up my daughter should be allowed in public school again. Is that too much?

 

[nick262]

I am sorry for your DD. There is no excuse for that. You DH did exactly the right thing. Don't let the school officials give you the run around. When this happened to me ( a very long time ago) the principal told my mom that if he suspended the other girl he would have to suspend me too for defending myself. Well, she called and told him if he even tried it she would be on the phone to the superintendent the next minute! Needless to say, she was suspended and I was not. She also got probation an community service as this was her second offense that had been reported to the police. Good luck to you and your DD.
BTW, am I reading your subject line correctly, is your DD 3?

 

[doxdogy]

Asking that the girl is either expelled or sent to an alternative school (if they exist in your district), is not to much to request. Also I feel that the students that witnessed the attack and egged it on should be punished too. I just can not fathom that students can stand there and watch another child beaten by another student and not want to either help or go and get help. Please give your DD a big hug and I hope she feels better soon. Please keep us posted on what the doctor at the ER says. Good for your DH on pressing charges against the kid that attacked your daughter.

 

[Alison Wonderland]

I am glad that you sent her to the doctor so now you will have that record of her injuries and that might come in handy.

 

[DawnCt1]

Your DH absolutely is doing the correct thing. What is the school saying about the incident?

 

[DawnCt1]

I called the doctor after I saw the amount of blood that had dried on her clothes when she came through the door. He had her go to the ER.
DD doesn't cause trouble. Sometimes when I hug her I feel that she is so vunerable, so tiny.
An assistant principal just called and wants me to go in for a meeting in the morning. I don't know what to ask or do. I don't think that the girl that beat up my daughter should be allowed in public school again. Is that too much?

I think that there needs to be a consistant policy with regard to these kinds of unprovoked, violent attacks. I am not sure however that the parents of the victim should be the ones who decide on what the response from the school system should be. Of course, if I were in YOUR shoes, I would certainly ask for that. Our neighbor was the victim of an unprovoked attack several years ago. It took place at a house party. The police were reluctant to arrest the perpetrator for what could only be seen as personal reasons. The family of the victim are very well off but the perpetrator never accepted responsibility, never apologized, etc. They sued for damages. The victims nose had been broken and he required surgery.

 

[denisenh]

Thank you all for your good wishes. It made us feel less alone. I think that I am stunned...I don't know what to think.

The ER said that she has a cut inside her nose and a red blotch on the bridge. They were all disgusted by what happened......the Docs, nurses and other patients....there are more good people in the world than bad people I guess.
Anyway, no other brusing or outward signs of injury. My little girl (She is 13, not 3...typo) the woman of steel! So much for all the punching. Ha!

I will keep you all updated on how the meeting goes tomorrow morning. thanks again everyone.

 

[Glynis]

I don't have any advice, just lots of for your whole family! What a terrible thing to have happen. What is your school districts policy on bullying? As another poster said, we also have a Zero Tolerance policy. If your district doesn't, perhaps it's time to pester your superintendant until one is drawn up!

Give your daughter lots of love and cuddles tonight. She will need them, 13 years old or 3. She went through quite an ordeal!

 

[Southern4sure]

Your DH did the right thing. If your school is like most schools the girl attacking will be suspended according to "zero tolerance." Addtionally, the medical bills you incurred - you may want to look into taking the parents/girl to small claims court. They might have to pay for the bills anyway. I believe most ins. companies now adays will try an recoup some if not all of the monies paid.

 

[christineann]

I'm so sorry your daughter (and you!). No matter what the school proposes to do, I would press charges on top of that. Don't let the school administration talk you into anything on the spot in your meeting. You need to go home and think about it before you accept anything they offer.

We have 16, 17, 18 year old kids killing other kids, and we wonder how they got to that point. It's because they rarely face the consequences of violent acts when they are younger.

Adequate punishment now will be benefit the attacker in the long run.

Your daughter has a lot of folks thinking about her and sending her prayers and good thoughts

 

[LoveWDW]

I hope you took pictures and that you save the bloody clothing unwashed. Hugs to your daughter.

 

[MoniqueU]

Sorry this happened to your daughter.

 

[debloco]

So, so sorry to hear about what happened to your DD. I also think your DH did the right thing by calling the police and pressing charges. Having her see her Dr. and go to the ER (while it's a terrible thing that she needed to go) will create an important medical paper trail.

I would find (online, in a parent handbook or forms, or from the district office) and read the school district's policy for handling physical assault before meeting with any school or district officials. I would make sure to have more than one copy of that policy to have at that meeting as well. I would insist that the full weight of the written, stated policy be enforced. These are not issues that should be left up to interpretation by the individual school. These are policies that have been adopted, voted on, and passed by the school board.

I might also ask for the meeting to be transcribed. That way there is no question in the future about what was talked about, who said what or what was agreed upon.

I might go as far as to have my lawyer present at any and all meetings with school officials. Well, maybe not the first one. But certainly any after that if they give you any hassle at all at the first one or don't follow through with agreements made.