3 1/2 yr. old and tantrums at Disney

[mousemomof2]

My son has been having some very extreme tantrums these past couple of weeks. I am so worried about him having one at a park. Any other parents out there experience this. How did you handle it. TIA

Carolyn

 

[tholczer]

We've never been to Orlando, but I live in Los Angeles and we frequent Disneyland. We were always firm with our daughter who was prone to tantrums. She would get one tantrum and a time out with a warning that if she had another, she was going to miss the next ride. You can't reason with them while they are tantruming. The warning would happen when she was done. If it kept on, then it was back to the car for a nap. We've even left early. But mostly, she figured things out.

It's great to go in prepared.

 

[vicceja]

Have a lot of patience and understanding. When my kids went through their little tantrums I just let them have their minute or two to have their breakdown and try to comfort them without making the situation worse. At Disney is going to be a little different because there is so much going on and they might be tired or hot...so just be understanding and give them some time to adjust.

 

[2Kds2K9]

We've recently discovered that my son's moods were dependent on his food intake. He's Hypoglycemic. Rather than fighting for him to eat three big meals, we now have him eat several small meals during the day.

At Disney I would make sure that you have a good breakfast with lots of protein. Take snacks with you and plenty of water. When it looks like he's on the downslide, I would take a break and get a snack. Try to nip it in the bud if you can.

Good luck.

 

[CajunGirl2]

I took several trips to WDW prior to being married and having kids. I always vowed that I would NEVER be one of those parents that yelled at their children in WDW. Fast forward to having 2 girls ... my view on this has changed ... LOL! I didn't yell at my DD but we did have to remove her from the situation. She was probably 4 at the time & pitched a royal fit about not getting to go on the Pooh ride again. I took her aside and told her that it was family trip & not all about her .. when she was ready we'd rejoin DH & other DD to have fun then we would ... until then we'd stay off to the side in the shade & let her calm down. I think we went in to a CS place & got her a drink. This was our first day & think she was probably overwhelmed. Just keep your calm & it will all be fine. Now, younger DD is 5 & still has tantrums now again. I've been warning her that we WILL go back to the room if she throws one this summer ... she's fully capable of understanding consequences now & these tantrums will not be tolerated.

 

[bumbershoot]

We've recently discovered that my son's moods were dependent on his food intake. He's Hypoglycemic. Rather than fighting for him to eat three big meals, we now have him eat several small meals during the day.

At Disney I would make sure that you have a good breakfast with lots of protein. Take snacks with you and plenty of water. When it looks like he's on the downslide, I would take a break and get a snack. Try to nip it in the bud if you can.

Good luck.

My guy has massive food-related tantrums, too. The biggie is corn syrup, and that junk is in everything (high fructose corn syrup, corn syrup, corn syrup solids). Dole whips and Uncrustables are forbidden at disney due to those ingredients, as are most ice creams and sooooo many other foods.

Once we got rid of those foods and have been vigilant, his episodes of turning into a dragon disappeared.

But if he gets too hungry, he gets angry and irrational, and doesn't just say "I'm hungry". Instead he overreacts and yells. (but doesn't attack us like he did when under the influence of corn syrup products)

 

[Aliceacc]

I think a number (though certainly not all) of those tantrums can be headed off before they happen.

You know your child: what normally triggers a tantrum? I'm guessing these conditions:
- being tired. (easy fix: a mandatory break each day at the resort/pool. A stroller even though he's a "big boy" Something close to his normal bedtime, even if it means you and your husband see the fireworks in shifts)
- being hungry. (likewise. try to keep on his normal meal schedule, and get him a fanny pack with a snack or 2 that he can access when he wants. Something like goldfish or Ritz bits.) Then have backups with you for those times when he drops the whole package.)
- not being in control. (give him lots of choices: which of these 2 outfits do you want to wear today honey? We're having dinner now- do you want nuggets or a burger?)
- being bored. (bring lots of small distractions for those times when you're on line. A bottle of bubbles, a memo pad and crayons, some printed out coloring pages, all will help.)
- being overwhelmed. (WDW is a HUGE place. Lots of adults get overwhelmed. Every now and then, plan to stop and people watch. I mean a scheduled 10 minute break when you stop and give him time to relax.)
-being afraid. Do your homework. Know what the attractions are likely to be before you bring him in. Lots of the guidebooks discuss the "scare factor" of each ride.
- being hot. Don't overdress him. Find the AC and the sprinklers and keep him comfortable.

Above all, keep in mind that he's only 3. When he does have a tantrum, it's merely a symptom of his age, not a reflection on you as a parent or on your vacation or anything else. Of all the places on earth, the others at WDW will most certainly understand; 99% of us have in those same shoes!

My kids weren't overly prone to tantrums, but when they did pop up, the best cure was normally a "snuggle."

 

[stacy6552]

I think like anyplace else, you have to be prepaired to drag them out of the park. Threaten first, which will hopefully work, but then leave if neccessary. I bet you only have to do it once.

 

[zoemurr]

When my son was about that age he was having fits more and more often, and I was running out of ideas. So one night when he started I got out the video camera and began to tape it. When he saw what I was doing he calmed right down. I played it back and had him watch it. Even at 3 he knew it was ridiculous. After that when he would start I would just say "wait a minute, I have to get the camera" and he would stop. I have some great footage now to show his future wife.

 

[brymolmom]

I wish I was one of the pp's with a minute or two of tantruming child OR being able to avoid them - don't get me wrong - great ideas but definitely do not work for all tantruming kids.

If yours is like mine was - he will have one or two mostly BECAUSE he's at WDW with an audience just to see how mom/dad will react and HOPING that he'll get whatever he wants because you want to avoid the conflict. And, like mine, yours might be very long and drawn out. I will warn you - it is MUCH more difficult to handle with the audience - and not so easy to get them away from a crowd - since crowds are everywhere and it's at least a 1/2 hour to bus back to the resort even if you leave immediately. At home - I would just put my tantrum-girl into another room and totally ignore her until done. Not able to do that most of the time at WDW. I'll tell you one story and how we handled it:

FIRST day at WDW, we get there and it is nap time - so we let dd take a nice, long nap to start out our trip 'on the right foot'. Then we head to the bus stop (after a decent snack) to go to MK for some dinner and fireworks. While we're waiting in line for a bus I grab some water from the backpack and offer some to ds, dh and dd (3 at the time). Well, dd suddenly announces 'I want juice'. Now, I NEVER carry juice in the backpack - and she knows this - so this is totally an act. I explain that water is all we have and she proceeds to start crying/screaming basically being HORRIBLE. DH and I decided to do basically what we'd do at home - we ignored her completely. Now, mind you - if we were in the middle of a ride/attraction I would NOT have let her sit there yelling...but really, we were just at a bus stop so I figured that the other people weren't being too much inconvenienced by this. Anyway- after about 10 full minutes of this she finally says 'Can I have some water?'.

I guess my point is that they WILL test you. I know this is what she was doing - and I am so happy we decided to handle it that way or I'm sure we would have had MORE attitude/tantrums on the trip.

My advice would be to be more strict in the first day or two and hopefully this will set the tone for the whole trip - as in, just because we are on vacation - the rules still apply.

 

[badblackpug]

Sit out the next ride. I only had to do this once. ...and the threat of "if you do it again we are going back to the hotel room and you are going to bed, while everyone else stays here and rides rides' Worked. Of course I am the "meeeeeen" mommy who will stick to my guns.

 

[DevilDuckie]

I think like anyplace else, you have to be prepaired to drag them out of the park. Threaten first, which will hopefully work, but then leave if neccessary. I bet you only have to do it once.

Yep. Aside from being polite to the rest of the visitors, this is the quickest way to send a message to the kid.

 

[Thats_for_Shore]

We just got back, and my 3 and 1/2 year old threw a few tantrums.

He threw a tantrum because he wanted some outrageous toy that I didn't want to haul around the park for the rest of the day (and sending it to the hotel wasn't an option, because he never would have understood that concept). I just dragged him along, while he cried and fussed.

He threw tantrums because we wouldn't let him climb up railings and fences and stuff (he's such a boy). He hollered at me and told me that I wasn't his friend anymore.

These things happen. And I hated to be the parent with a crazed, hollering, and crying kid, dragging them by the hand and fussing. But the more I looked around, the more I saw other parents fussing at their kids. Even their teenagers.

It was funny to see parents fussing at their teens. "Watch where you're going -- don't run into those people!" and "I'm not paying X amount of dollars for that!" and "You can't eat that now, we're going to dinner soon!"

But not so funny to know that I'll still be fussing at my kid in WDW even when they're 15.

 

[crisi]

Yep. Aside from being polite to the rest of the visitors, this is the quickest way to send a message to the kid.

Though sometimes, physically removing a kicking screaming three year old simply isn't the safest option (unless you are prepared for the toddler to kick other visitors, kick the displays of merchandise in whatever store you are in, or stop an attraction to get off). Those situations you just need patience.

 

[Drewsmommybear]

My son does pretend crying when he wants something. DH will say, "That's so fake." DS says, "Yeah I know." And then we talk about it and it's over....usually.

The exception to the rule is when he gets ear aches. My son WILL NOT tell me when his ears hurt. He shows me. He bites himself and other people to the point of drawing blood, he kicks, screams, pounds his head on things and fusses over every little thing. The first time it happened I didn't realize it was because he was in pain until liquid cam out of his ear. (I'm such a bad mom). It's happened twice more and this last time the pediatrician said to just bring him in when he starts being extra fussy and irritable. I said I didn't want to bring him in just because he wasn't controlling his behavior but with him it's so much more than that.

We leave for Disney World on March 31 and I'm seriously thinking about scheduling a sick child visit the week before we go. There's no controlling him when he gets that way. So, if you see a mom and dad with a 3 1/2 year old who is biting and kicking, point me in the direction of the nearest emergency room.

Does anyone know if Similisan works?

 

[kloei423]

we have used similasan on my DD3 and it relieves the pain. I still am not convinced her pain is from an infection the 2 times we used it as her complaint was after waking up in the morning and from a nap. But both times we used it she said it no longer hurt my DS1 had constant earaches and could not hear and we had no idea except he did not sleep through the night. once we got tubes in the ear he has been fine. so if he becomes fussy especially at night we know what is wrong... sorry i can't be more definate on whether it works but it can't hurt to try it and take them along for piece of mind.

 

[Manda]

Though sometimes, physically removing a kicking screaming three year old simply isn't the safest option (unless you are prepared for the toddler to kick other visitors, kick the displays of merchandise in whatever store you are in, or stop an attraction to get off). Those situations you just need patience.

Yup. And my son would just continue the tantrum on the transportation back to the resort, so then we'd just extend the tantrum and really disrupt a lot of innocent people's vacation. He could easily go for an hour or more. It's better for us to just duck out of the way and deal with it then and there. Getting him into a quiet spot away from noise and other people seems to help the most once it's started. I let him scream standing slightly away from me. Once I sense the hysterics have switched from mad to sad, I grab him in a bear hug while he sobs it the rest of the way out. After he's regained control of himself, we discuss the problem and the consequences and the benefits or making the right choices next time (obviously, in short and to the point conversation). Then we carry on. Tantrums aren't little and don't last a few minutes for us. He's sensitive and emotional and he goes to hysterics quickly. It's not for dramatic effect. He's upset.

Although, as another poster mentioned, I've noticed a strong correlation between behavior and hunger. He never seems to be able to sense when he's hungry and he goes to crazed with hunger quickly. And while he's fine without between meal snacks typically, I've found with lots of error and now trial, that he needs a LOT more food when we're at Disney and frequent snacks seem to keep tantrums at a minimum. Many times, I've sensed that he's on his way to some hard times and I've stopped and and got him a little something and he's instantly back to the sweet boy I know.

Specifically to your (the OP) son since you said he's recently started having extreme tantrums... is it possible that he's going into a growth spurt perhaps? I've noticed that my son really loses his ability to cope when he's in the middle of a growth spurt. He's perpetually hungry and tired and it just makes him a grumpy mess.

 

[southtexasmom]

We have learned that for us the best way to avoid a meltdown in our kids is to stick to the same eating schedule we use at home, we live in a different time zone than Disney but we still eat according to the time at home. For the younger kids, we stick to the same bedtime. DH and I take turns taking the older kids to a park at night.

 

[brightvalleyjrts]

You mean kids actually have tantrums at the Happiest Place on Earth????

I keep picturing my trip to be like a commercial. Me and my DH just skipping through the park holding our kids hands. The boys running up to Mickey and giving him a big hug. Just a perfect Kodak moment.

But reality will set in, in about 10 days. I am sure my 5 year old and my 2 year old will have their fair share of tantrums. Hopefully we will be able to distract them quickly and move right along. But I do like the idea of having to sit out the next ride. But trying to decide who is going to be the one to sit out with him should be fun. LOL!!

 

[solstice621]

When my son was about that age he was having fits more and more often, and I was running out of ideas. So one night when he started I got out the video camera and began to tape it. When he saw what I was doing he calmed right down. I played it back and had him watch it. Even at 3 he knew it was ridiculous. After that when he would start I would just say "wait a minute, I have to get the camera" and he would stop. I have some great footage now to show his future wife.

I am so stealing this idea!