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[Tiana]

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[froggy5657]

Just pay for the kids. It is a party for the kids, and the parents will just get in the way of the kids having a good time bowling against each other.

 

[Cooky]

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[ireland_nicole]

I would do one event followed by the other.

I would have a bowling party only for your son and his school friends. Do the two hours, have a lane or two (perfect, everyone can eat play and talk while right next to each other).

After (or on a different day if it works better) have the family over for cake, ice cream; maybe bbq or something casual if the weather is good.

Trust me, you wouldn't want 35 people trying to bowl at one time anyway

 

[kimgg]

Wow, get ready for just the first of many birthdays to have to navigate how to avoid spending a FORTUNE. It can easily happen but don't let it.

Almost any kids' bday party other than your home involves some kind of activity for the kids that you have to pay per child. You are NOT obligated to pay for the parents, and it is NOT expected unless you run with quite wealthy people. Middle class people can't afford that and if you are friends w/ other similarly middle class people, they won't expect you to. The parents can always participate (and pay) for themselves if they want, but myself, I have taken my kids to bowling parties and everyone knew they were for the CHILDREN not the adults to partake in free bowling. I would never even think of such a thing unless it was a close family member and we as a group wanted to play each other due to our family relationship. Many hosts WILL pay extra so the parents can have pizza too, and this can get expensive as well, so I usually would pay for a certain number of extra pizzas to allow each parent a slice or two, and also offer them cake, and that is as far as you need to go.

Don't stress over it. Just explain when they arrive that the kids will be on a whatever lanes and whatever else is included. They'll get the point, and if they are confused and new to parties, they too will soon learn the script as they attend more as their kids get older. This is one rare example of when you are grateful when your kids get older and the parents just drop their kids off and you can avoid parents costing you more when they eat.

And for those who can afford $500 to pay for "everyone and their momma too" don't lecture those of us who can't. Kids parties are for kids!!

OK, I am editing to add this - in our family what we do is have a "kid party" often on the weekend in which it is for the kids (as described above) and on the actual birthday evening, the family goes out to eat wherever my child wants to go, and everyone pays for themselves but brings gifts. After I serve everyone cake. Our family members all do it this way. If you are mixing family and friends at the bowling party, I understand it could be more confusing if you and/or your adult family members WANT to bowl too, but yet not pay for the other friends' parents. So I decided to add what we do in our family. As your son gets older and makes more friends, this "method" can save you a lot of money. The scenario I first described above is really for classmates and kid friends, and is a little harder to "enforce" when many attending are family w/ their own kids of various ages (like if you pay for the little ones do you have to pay for the almost grown teens, etc.). That's why we keep the kid party separate (but still invite similar age cousins, etc.) and the family dinner at another time.

Hope this helps!

 

[Tiana]

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[Tiana]

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[ShannonMB]

TOTALLY do the bowling party just for a few kids. DEFINTELY don't take 35 people to the bowling alley.

Here's what I would do in your situation. Have a bowling party for 5-6 of DS's friends or cousins at around 11am on Saturday. Then I would let all the adults know that we will be having cake and ice cream for family to celebrate at 3:30pm. Definitely invite DH's family. I personally would not feel bad if they don't drive the 2 hrs for the cake and ice cream. I don't think that's a reflection of how much they love and value your DS, just that it's a long drive -- and most likely the main event for your DS will be the bowling anyway. And since he's going on vacation the next day, he's not going to be hurting for fanfare and fun!!! Maybe they can just mail a gift. And who knows, maybe some of them will do the drive! I REALLY feel like you are not obligated to do ANY more than this, and if you let DHs family know it will not hurt your feelings if they don't show, they'll probably secretly be relieved. Your DS is turning 6 and you certainly want to mark the occasion. But you definitely don't need to be doing days of parties and entertaining right before your trip to do that!

As other posters have said, the "destination" parties (bowling, Chuck E Cheese, Pump It Up, My Gym) are for the kids. The other adults know it and won't be expecting to be entertained or fed.

 

[ShannonMB]

OK, I am editing to add this - in our family what we do is have a "kid party" often on the weekend in which it is for the kids (as described above) and on the actual birthday evening, the family goes out to eat wherever my child wants to go, and everyone pays for themselves but brings gifts. After I serve everyone cake. Our family members all do it this way. If you are mixing family and friends at the bowling party, I understand it could be more confusing if you and/or your adult family members WANT to bowl too, but yet not pay for the other friends' parents. So I decided to add what we do in our family. As your son gets older and makes more friends, this "method" can save you a lot of money. The scenario I first described above is really for classmates and kid friends, and is a little harder to "enforce" when many attending are family w/ their own kids of various ages (like if you pay for the little ones do you have to pay for the almost grown teens, etc.). That's why we keep the kid party separate (but still invite similar age cousins, etc.) and the family dinner at another time.

Hope this helps!

And this is exactly what we do, too!!!

 

[newdrama12]

SO, I guess my options are 1) pay for just the kids, parents can pay IF they want to bowl; or, 2) do smaller bowling party on Friday night and cake thing at house on Saturday....

I would go with the second option. smaller bowling party on Friday then cake thing at the house saturday. Then maybe on saturday, you could have a bbq with the family.

 

[kacaju]

So, now, DS has friends and our siblings have more kids, plus 2 more spouses, etc. We are looking at a guest list of about 35, and that's only with inviting his 3 closest friends and their parents... the rest is immediate family (our parents, grandparents, siblings and their families).

So, out of that 35, there are only 10 kids.

Since you would be inviting 26 family members (7 kids) and 3 friends with 2 parents each, I would do the bowling for the 3 friends only. Then have your normal family party.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

My friend did a bowling party for her 4 yr old. Only the kids were paid for to bowl. Only the kids had cake and drinks. The rest was on us.

 

[LWatson]

We were going to do a joint bowling party for our boys until we found a better deal at CiCi's pizza. We were only going to pay for the kids' bowling not the adults. But, our adults knew too that it was a kids party and that is who was bowling....most adults didnt want to anyway. At CiCi's we payed for only the kids' meals and the adults paid for theirs.

 

[PaulaSue]

I split my girls birthday parties, one school friends and one family. I would do the bowling party for school kids (notice no parents, have the kids dropped off) and then a family party at home.

 

[msmama]

I always had 2 parties growing up (if I had an "event" kind of party).

Back then it was skating - just my friends (parents may have come but I don't remember, if so, they just hung out while we skated).

Then another day we had a BBQ with family.

 

[mjkacmom]

We have little family around, but we live in a very Italian area, with lots of big extended families. People tend to have family parties until elementary, then do a friends party out, and a family party at home. Sometimes, local same-age cousins are invited to the party out.

I've attended over 100 kids parties, and parents know they aren't included in the activity. Most of the time, the host buys extra pizza for the parents, but it's not required. No need to include friends' siblings.

 

[Tiana]

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[mjkacmom]

You guys are making me feel a whole lot better about just paying for the kids to bowl....

The thing holding me back from having two parties, the second being something at my house, is that we just don't want a house full of people the day before we leave for vacation.... We are leaving (hopefully) by 7 or 8 a.m. the next morning and I want to spend the few days previous packing and getting organized, not preparing for even more house guests and picking up the mess afterwards, KWIM? I'm already going to have to be on top of things with my 5 out of town houseguests.... not that they are too messy, lol, but all those people in a townhouse = small chaos.

I really think I'm just going to have the one big party at the bowling alley on Saturday and just pay for the kids.... I think....

I really think this isn't a good idea. When you have a just kids party, at 6, a parent is expected to stay, and suffer through it. I wouldn't invite adults to actually ATTEND a party like this. Maybe forgo the family party this year. If you invite the adults, you would then be expected to pay, since you are hosting it, and inviting people to watch a bunch of kids bowl is just, well, mean!

I've hosted 6 bowling parties so far, and even I can't stand them. ETA, when you tell the alley how many kids will be there, they will set up seating for that amount only, and bowling allys can be full with parties.

 

[Hannathy]

My friend did a bowling party for her 4 yr old. Only the kids were paid for to bowl. Only the kids had cake and drinks. The rest was on us.

Yep this is they way we always did it and the way my kids have always been invited to parties. In fact after pre-school around here no one stays with their kids.

There is no way I would pay for anyone other than the kids that were invited. Listen to the bowling Alley they are in the business and know what is done in your area.

 

[Skylarr29]

I've have attended a few children's bowling parties as an adult. The children bowled, the adults did not, they helped the children, talked, etc. Children had food etc. but at the ones I had been to there were a couple of platters of more adult food and pitchers of drinks and that was that. The adults should be supervising their children, not off bowling on their own.