..........................

[C.Ann]

 

[minniecarousel]

uhhhh..C.Ann - you better speak up & admit that you're probably not going to be able to manage at home with him. Of course, the alternative is a convalescent hospital & that may not be the place for him either. Is there anyone who can help you on a regular basis? Caretakers of the ill get burned out quickly unless they have good support. I don't blame you for being scared & upset. I hope you can figure this out. Continued prayers for you, dear.

 

[tc]

C. Ann, I was just getting ready to log off and go to bed when I saw this post. I don't have any advice, and I can understand how you can be so frightened. I will pray that you have guidance to do this, or courage to tell someone you can't. I am so sorry you are going through this right now. Prays and pd have not stopped from out west.

 

[KaraKW]

{{{HUGS}}} I can't imagine the stress you must be under. Just know that I will keep you and your family in my prayers...

Here are some more {{{HUGS}}}

 

[Joe Cool]

Oh, my god...hearing this just makes all the other posts about big brother and stuff seem, well, trivial. Thank you for taking the time through all your emotional turmoil to post about your husband. I really feel for you...we almost went through something like that with my mom in '96, and her father just a year and a half ago. Thank god that grandpa was honored enough in ww2 by the air force that he could get free nursing home care...but...the phenomenal strength that you have going through this is inspiring. Best of luck to you and your husband. You've got prayers and PD coming your way from me and my family.

JC

 

[DixieDreamer]

You need some help. Please sit down with the rest of your family and explain how this is shaping up and your concerns. Surely they will help you to explore alternatives and find a solution that you can manage. At the least, they can help you in some manner and give you some support.

Deep calming breaths. One thing at a time.


Hugs.

 

[Buckalew]

Isn't he in a unit?
How could you possibly take care of him. I'd feel overwhelmed with that also.
{{{hugs}}} to you. My prayers are with you. Healthcare these days!! UGH!

 

[Serena]

C. Ann, don't panic. Get something to eat, soup, crackers something. Then go to sleep.


I would call that great SIL and talk with him about it. He won't leave you in the lurch to deal with this alone.

The hospital won't or shouldn't send him home until they are sure that you know what to do and how to do it.
I wish I could help you with your furniture.

C. Ann, you can handle the responsibilty of helping him. You have taken care of so many other things and people, you can do this.
It's scary and confusing right now, but you will be able to handle it.
Have the doctor not only explain to you every step, but make sure to have a written copy to take home with you.

Take a deep breath, get some sleep, and know that you are a capable person.

{{{hugs}}} and prayers for you and your dh.

I wanted to add, that you are also smart enough to let them know if you can't handle something. Some other arrangements would have to be made.
{{hugs}} again.

 

[PamOKW]

Serena has good advice. Stay here to unwind if you like but don't get sucked in to the boards. What you need is something to nibble on and rest.

I hate when they just dump things on you without any real guidance. I think talking to your SIL is an excellent idea. You need someone to help figure this all out. You need to know what is happening. If you are bringing him home to make him comfortable, then possibly you can get some assistance through a hospice group. If it's that he needs time to get built up for some possible surgery, treatment, etc., then maybe some time in a convalescent hospital is the way to go. In any case, you can't possibly take care of him by yourself. You need family or paid help or both. But, that is something that can be figured out tomorrow. Rest now.

 

[kejoda]

oh C.Ann I wish I could be more help to you. I understand your fears all too well. We went through the same thing with our Mom. If you feel like you can't handle taking care of your DH you might be right. I think it might be harder for you to bring him home and then have to move him again. Please look at some care homes for him. Maybe after awhile when the shock has worn off and you can sleep better you might be able to handle it.

Talk to your family members. I hope his witch of a dd isn't giving you a hard time.

Big hugs for you C.Ann. As always you are in my Prayers.

 

[Deb in IA]

Go to sleep NOW. You must get some rest.

TOMORROW, ask to speak to the social worker at the hospital. Tell him or her that your fears and anxieties. Ask them to help you find any services that may be able to help you at home.

Call your health insurance company. Sometimes private health insurance or Medicare WILL pay for in-home nursing care.

Talk to your local medical supply vendor. They can help you with setting up his room, and securing and installing the equipment that will be needed.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. That's the only way people will know what you are feeling.


Take care . . .

 

[browneyes]

Will Hospice be coming out to help?

 

[mrsv98]

C. Ann, the first thing you need to do is sleep . You can't make any decisions in the state you are in. Take some good old benedryl if you have to. Tomorrow morning, find a doc or RN that you like or at least trust and explain the situation and your fears. Then get in touch with either the local VNA or hospice depending on your husband's condition. Since your DH is obviously a vet, talk to the people at the VA hospital. There should be some kind of social worker who can help you through this process.

I don't know where you live, so I can't be more specific thus here is the web site of the National Visiting Nurses Association.

http://www.vnaa.org/FVDefault.htm

From a quick read of the site, I think it can give you good info on their services. Even if you think you can't afford it, call them and explain the situation and see what they can do or suggest.

I also found this site which is the National Hospice Care web site.

http://www.nhpco.org/


Keep strong, know that we are here for you and that we care. God Bless

 

[Rajah]

The others have already said what I was going to say, which was sleep, rest, talk to your son-in-law, talk to the staff, see about getting some in-home help, and that you *can* do this if you have to.

More prayers heading your way.

*HUGS*

 

[Pin Wizard]

(((((((((((((C.Ann))))))))))))))

You can try talking to someone in social services or case management at the hospital. They may know of other sources that could help you also.

 

[Kama89]

There's nothing I can add here...you're getting wonderful advice C.Ann. I just wanted to tell you that I'm thinking of you, and wish we could all somehow take some of this burden from you. As everyone else has already said....please go get some sleep... and in the morning take some of the excellent advice you've received here, and begin to tackle these issues, one at a time. Put your foot down when you need to... don't let them send him home until you're ready... and there's simply got to be some agencies out there that can help you... no one should be expected to take on this kind of burden all alone!!

God Bless you!

 

[renessa]

All of my best wishes for you and your family in these difficult times. You have got to be a strong woman to be holding together so well. Try to get some sleep and take care of yourself. Hugs! Renessa

 

[Dan Murphy]

Wonderful advice here, C.Ann. I can continue to give my prayers and best wishes, you will do well here, you always have. {Hugs}, C.Ann.

 

[EROS]

C.ANN...........this treatment plan makes NO sense to me. You're NOT equipped to provide 24 hour nursing care at home. I think that you would BOTH be best served by his transfer first to a step-down unit, either at the hopital or off-site, where he can be stabilized. I'm all for the care of sick patients in their homes; they're often much more at peace there and have important access to loved ones. However, if your DH is in significant congestive failure, he's NOT ready to come home just yet.

Best of Luck,

 

[kbeverina]

C. Ann, I remember that feeling well (and hear it all the time from other parents of diabetic kids) from when my son was diagnosed. As much as you hate the hospital, when they tell you it's time to go home it's terrifying. I wish you had better support there.