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[LuvOrlando]

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[Pigeon]

I wouldn't exactly be hurt, but I might just vomit on her shoes.

 

[C.Ann]

Maybe she just didn't think before she spoke - unless of course there have been other "digs" in the past..

There are many careers that women chose that include a college education.. Many other careers that don't.. Some women choose never to work - they're perfectly content being SAHM's..

Encouraging your DD to be what she wants to be - regardless of what others say - is being a good mom.. I wouldn't let your friend's comment bug you..

 

[suejai]

I don't think she meant it as a dig, it is probably just how she feels about education in general. I'm the same as you, I have a BA in Geography but I'm at home right now. I never really used my degree in the working world, and always wished I'd carried on and gotten my PhD. I agree about there being no such thing as wasted knowledge. I feel it just gives you options, and teaches you how to think.

Don't teachers go to College or University in the US. In Canada, for the most part, it is a 4 year University degree, although in Ontario I think they have a Teachers College (someone from Ontario please correct me if I'm wrong). Or am I misinterpreting your friends comment?

 

[Handbag Lady]

HHhhhhmmm, hhhmmmmm...


I don't know what to think and that is a strange feeling for me!


On one hand, I think I did waste time in college going for a degree in creative writing. I wanted to be a book editor.

But that wasn't my passion. Movies are my passion. I wish I rather had chased down a degree in Film History.

But I can write awesome memos now in my film-industry related job.

Teaching seems to be your daughter's passion, so if you apply the statement that way, then I can see it.



But your friend is clearly saying that women can only have interests or a career in something that isn't wasted. Is she saying that if your daughter went for a degree in animal husbandry that she'd be wasting her time since she's a girl and they can only be teachers so that she can raise the 17 kids she spits out?

Then, I'd be fuming.

 

[jemgumby]

Hmmmm, I am stumped myself here.....trying to figure that one out......I am trying to think was that a dig at you or in women in general? Her underlying attitude behind the comment is what bothers me....the whole idea of putting women in certain "roles" is what I don't like but that is just me!

 

[Evil Genius]

Seriously, I wouldn't have given it a second thought. She has her opinion and you have yours.

 

[NotUrsula]

But your friend is clearly saying that women can only have interests or a career in something that isn't wasted. Is she saying that if your daughter went for a degree in animal husbandry that she'd be wasting her time since she's a girl and they can only be teachers so that she can raise the 17 kids she spits out?

I don't think that the friend meant any of that, especially the bolded part.
I think that the friend was speaking from her experience, and what is probably her socioeconomic milieu, as well.

She's one step up from a child-care worker. She doesn't make much and she doesn't have any higher education. That's probably the norm for women in her family -- the people whose finances she knows and understands. Among women like that, the prospect of earning enough money to easily pay for daycare AND still take home a decent living is a rare one. Most working-class families that have 3 children under 6 end up having a SAHM, not out of choice, but out of necessity, because what they can make will not cover the cost of childcare. They see teaching (or other work in schools) as an obvious good idea, because of the hours and especially because of the summers off, which takes care of the issue of paying for care for school-aged kids during the summer, a time during which working-class moms who are working a day shift often are forced to quit their jobs if they or their spouse can't get night hours.

As to animal husbandry, if this woman was familiar with farm life, she'd probably think it was a good idea -- livestock farmers are autonomous and most of the ones I know don't really use full-time regular child care, partly because they take their children to work at very early ages, and partly because the bulk of their time-sensitive work takes place either early in the morning, or late in the afternoon.
The animals are very demanding, but they don't work banker's hours.

 

[turkeymama]

Hmmmm, I am stumped myself here.....trying to figure that one out......I am trying to think was that a dig at you or in women in general? Her underlying attitude behind the comment is what bothers me....the whole idea of putting women in certain "roles" is what I don't like but that is just me!

That was my first impression when I read it, that women belong in certain roles.

 

[EthansMom]

Usually, when someone makes a comment about college/education being a waste (of time or money), I say, "DH and I don't believe education is EVER a waste."

 

[Buckalew11]

She could have meant any of those things or all of those things, who knows? She may regret not having a college education and since she may feel "safe" to say it to someone who is not using hers, made a snide remark as a defensive remark. Who knows?

I do not have a college education and I regret it even though I have enjoyed doing the same work for 26 years. I still wish I had the college experience and the degree. But, I wouldn't ever make a remark like that.

It might just be a observance she has made over her time and experience. Unless she says more of the same, I'd move on and try to forget it even though that isn't always easy once some things have been said aloud.

 

[Disney Doll]

My guess is that her life experience is such that most of the women have gotten married and had children, and been primarily repsonsible for the raising of those children, so if they "had to" work (for financial reasons) they had to find a job that would "mesh" with child rearing, since they bore the primary responsibility for it. It is the year 2009, and I still know people who say "My husband is babysitting the kids today so I can go Christmas shopping and get it all out of the way in one day". My response is usually "Funny, I thought your husband was the children's father". For your friend, having a job which would impact her ability to care for her children wouldn't work, because it sounds like if she's not basically caring for her children, then no one would be. There's probably not a lot of "parenting" from the father of the children in her world, I would guess. So from that perspective, I feel badly for her...her world is so limited and limiting...

From your perspective, encouraging your DD to do and be whatever she wants si the way to go. Education is never wasted. If she gets a lot of hiugher education and works and then decides she wants to be a SAHM, it's not like that education is lost.

And I agree with feminism being the ability of women to do what works for them and their life, not what society thinks they should do. And that goes both ways...a woman's decision to be a SAHM should be just as respected as woman's decision to have a career. Neither side of the spectrum should "look down" on the other.

 

[bumbershoot]

"It's always better to do something like teaching so a girl doesn't end up wasting time in college."


I don't even understand what she's saying there.

I mean, my university had a master's program for education...to be a teacher around here you need at least a BA in something...so I just don't get it.

And heck, I have a doctorate and am at home with my son, and except for the money and kinda wishing I'd gone to a less expensive college, I don't regret the years I spent in school. Especially b/c I had a nicely rounded education...science, math, english, language, pottery, my exercise phys etc classes for my major, anatomy, physics...the list goes on...I think it's nice to have all that education!


and yet I still don't understand what she was saying or meaning.

 

[disykat]

I totally disagree with the notion that any education is ever wasted.

However, I think it only really felt like a "dig" to you because you are sensitive to it. You just said yourself that you wish your own career choice had been something that was more compatible with the mommy track. I think if it wasn't a sensitive issue for you, you would just shrug it off as something she obviously feels differently about than you. (IMO it's just not a dig worth giving credence to.)

 

[DisneyBlonde]

I also don't understand her point...don't teachers have a masters?

She sounds like Fred Flintstone.

 

[MrsPete]

Anyway, during the conversation DF says something along the lines of: "It's always better to do something like teaching so a girl doesn't end up wasting time in college."

That doesn't make any sense to me, but assuming you want to keep this friend, I'd just pass it off as a thing she said thoughtlessly -- we've all said or done something at some point that just wasn't well-thought-out.

At the same time, some jobs ARE better "mom jobs" than others, and I am already talking to my tween and teen about this. I'd expect that both of them will have children one day, and I'd want them to consider the possibility of balancing work and family BEFORE they've gone through college and -- to some extent -- committed themselves to a certain career.

I'm also talking to them about choosing a career that'll realistically be around in the next few decades, something that'll pay enough to make it worthwhile, and something in which they'll actually find work.

 

[Christine]

Only you know if it is a dig because you know this friend and how she is about things.

One slant on it could be that, imagine this, some people do not enjoy going to school. They do not find sitting in a classroom, having information given to them, being tested on it, well, they don't find it rewarding in the least. They find it a necessary evil; a box to be checked to get to where they need to go.

If this friend views education as something that must be done to advance or be in a certain career, but does not enjoy it, then I can certainly see how she would feel that going to a college was a "waste" if you end up not using that education. Am I making sense at all??

In this case, it wouldn't be a dig--just how she feels about pursuing a degree and not using it.

 

[mjkacmom]

You need at least a 4 year degree to teach, and take the same classes that other fields do - is she aware that teachers go to college?

 

[MrsPete]

I totally disagree with the notion that any education is ever wasted.

Right. Beyond my career, my college degree made me a better version of ME. Even if I wasn't working, I'd still benefit from all I learned.

I also don't understand her point...don't teachers have a masters?

No, all teachers don't have a master's degree, and in many places there are no "official" requirements to teach preschool.

You cannot be a child care worker if you do not have a high school diploma (or equivalent), but you can be a preschool teacher with ONLY a high school diploma. You probably wouldn't be a lead teacher without a degree, but you could be employed.

 

[HGD24]

At the same time, some jobs ARE better "mom jobs" than others, and I am already talking to my tween and teen about this. I'd expect that both of them will have children one day, and I'd want them to consider the possibility of balancing work and family BEFORE they've gone through college and -- to some extent -- committed themselves to a certain career.

Can I ask why you would try to steer your DD's into "mom jobs"? What if they don't want to have children? What if they do have children and their husbands choose to stay home? I work with a few woman whose husbands do just that. They stay home and take care of the kids and house while their wives work very high-powered, professional careers.

As for the OP's friend's comment. I also took her to mean that women should become teachers because going to school for any other career would be a waste of time and education because once babies came along, the DD would have to stay home. I don't necessarily work in the field that I studied in college, but my job requires a college degree and there are parts of my job that are tied into what I majored in. I feel that the life experiences you go through in college are just as important as the things you learn in the classroom, no matter what your major is.