2008 started for me, in disney world. my ex boyfriend tyler broke up with me through text message while i was down in florida. so that sucked. but overall, the trip was amazing. my mom got married.
i came home, to find tensions rising between me and my then, best friend, jessica. but i also found myself reconnecting with my old best friend mariah. we lost touch throught highschool.
jessica and her boyfriend started getting into a lot of fights, and both of them would come to me, and spilling their guts. then over time, her boyfriend told me that he wanted to break up with her. i was like, "go for it" cause i'd been seeing a really mean, brutal side of her lately, not only towards me but towards him. so he did. he broke up with her. and then he and i um. ahem. got a little uh. friendly. yeah i know, bad friend award. whatever. i wasn't the only one getting it in the friendship, i promise. eventually i told him that i couldn't keep it going anymore, becuase honestly, i just couldn't. it was a mess. i backed off, and the same DAY i told him i didn't want to be with him, he went crawling back to her.
my grade started slipping here.
needless to say, jessica and i were falling apart. i can't say i feel bad about it though. in retrospect, we were horrible for each other.
but, here's the bad part.
jessica and i had planned a disney trip in may of 08. and i couldn't not take her. so that trip was hell.
after the trip, we pretty much stopped talking. shes tried to pick stupid fights with me since then, but i honestly don't care about her at all. she bullied me for like three years. whatever. i don't care anymore.
i dated another guy, named zach. geez, i loved that kid. we were and are better off as friends though. it was a whirlwind, but i loved it.
summer came. i loved every single moment of it. it was the best summer of my life. i spent it with my new old best friend, mariah and our friend shanna and several other friends of ours. i think this was the best summer of my life.
in july, i pretty much lost my job as a waitress/dishwasher, and i had to have surgery. so july was a tough month.
i dated another guy, brian. it didn't work.
i went back to school.
i ended up being pushed forward a grade, so now i'm a senior.
i just turned seventeen. i've been spending a ton of time with my friends, and life is beautiful.
i recently had a love interest in one of my best friends, steven. god i love that boy. honestly. i mean, i thought i loved other guys, but. no. steven. i've never looked at anyone the way i look at him. but, life doesn't work out in your favor all the time, and steven and i are just best friends. i can't say that i mind though. i spend most of my days with him, we text a lot, and have late night phone conversations that last for hours until i fall asleep. and i kinda realized that, even though he doesn't love me the way i wish he did, he still loves me a whole lot, and i'd rather he love me his way, honestly.
the whole while, i've been dealing with an ex boyfriend harassing me, and i think i just recently convinced him to leave me alone. i don't know though. i've not heard anything out of jessica in about a month.
i'm pretty much suffocating under the weight of school right now, but i'll live. i'm trying to figure out where to go to college. i'm moving out soon. i'm scared to death, to be honest. but i know this is whats best. i think. i'm terrified to leave my friends, but, i dunno. growing up isn't so scary anymore.
has this year been a ton of fun? not all the time.
has this year been amazingly awful? not all the time.
things get tough. people grow up. people change.
this has been my year to grow up and let go of who i used to be and become who i will be.
in seventeen years, i've learned that life is what you make it, all you need is a smile, love is worth more than money, and the gift of laughter is the best to receive. life is beautiful. right now, i'm not sure where i'm going, and i guess thats because i can't quite recall where i've been. in this life, its not what we have, its what we believe. when you have been dead 100 years, you have only just begun to be dead. you have to put your heart on the line, or you're never really living at all. hold close to those you love, and forgive all who wronged you, because nothing is worth being angry over. my name is shelby, i'm working on who i am. but most of all, life is beautiful.
