20/20-Friday Night: Siblings

[CBRorBust]

Did you watch it? What did you think? I just finished watching it (Tivo'd it) and I was shocked to see the two boys Spencer and Jackson. Amazing what people will let their children get away with.

Just wanted to hear others thoughts or if I have an un-realistic outlook on how brothers and sisters should behave with one another.

 

[4greatboys]

I saw it too and I thought they were out of hand as well. Dad just ignorned and even when one boy grabbed the other by the neck and threw him down--in front of mom and dad--they just said oh, dont do that

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

DS6 and DS4 fight a lot, and it upsets DH and I so much. Then there are times when they play nicely together. Do you think this fighting will continue, or will they grow out of it? I wish I had seen that show, we definitely do NOT turn our heads to the fighting....

 

[CBRorBust]

Well Thank God! I was SHOCKED at how they let their kids get away with anything right in front of them! It would be one thing if the kids did it away from the parents view, you can't really control everything, but in plain view! Give me a break! Did you see that woman who turned around and told those kids that they probably drive their mother crazy! I bet she would have said a lot more if the camera or the father wasn't right there!

Just nuts! I cannot believe that they tolerate that behavior!

 

[4greatboys]

There is hope for your boys. My 2 oldest, who are 2.9 years apart, went through several years of not getting along. Now they are 16 and 14 and hardly fight at all. I guess it was a phase and now they get along pretty good and even do things together.

 

[CBRorBust]

Do you think this fighting will continue, or will they grow out of it? I wish I had seen that show, we definitely do NOT turn our heads to the fighting....

I think you're children will grow out of it just for the sheer fact that you said you do NOT turn your heads. These parents did NOTHING! I mean NOTHING. Oh excuse me, they would say "Spencer don't do that" and continue to walk by.

My brothers used to "play fight" as children, but this was NOT playing around, this was like punching each other in the face, kicking each other, screaming at the top of their lungs, etc. It was amazing. And can you imagine if that is how their behavior was with cameras in the house, what it would be like when they are just alone in their homes. Scary!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I did watch that too!

The dad of those boys was just absent. I am glad they got some help.

 

[WebmasterMaryJo]

<font color=navy>I think that parent intervention will help in most cases.

My brother & I grew up fighting, and we still really don't get along. Same with my ex and his sister. I wonder if our own parents didn't do something when we were little to stop that behavior.

My own two are 14 months apart. When the fighting started - about the time my ds was two or three. I stopped it immediately, and my ds knew that that behavior would not be tolerated.

They're 16 & 15 now, and I have received comments since they were little how amazed people are that they don't fight, and how well they get along.

They should get credit for having the type of relationship that they do, but I believe that nipping that sibling rivalry in the bud when they were so little also helped.

I liked how on the show the counselor stressed to the parents to stop/punish bad behavior, but more importantly reward positive behavior -- it seemed to work really well for this family.

 

[JoenAdamnErinnSam]

I have 2 sons-who are now 22 and 20-they are 23 months apart-and the thing I would never tolerate-from a really early age was them hurting each other-I know alot of peolple don't agree with spanking-but if my older one(who was always alot bigger)hurt his brother-he got a swat. Not abusive, not a beating-a swat. It really took them til thier late teens to actually get along-they has very different interests growing up.Now one is in college and one living on his own and working, and they are very close.And I am very close to both of them. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

[Melora]

Ive got 5 kids..the oldest 3 are 17 and then 22 months apart. (they are now 18, 17 and 15..and carea bout each other very much and are very close)

I never tolerated mean or hurtful behavior EVER. I rarely had to say anything but when I did there was no uncertain terms about it.

Parents who allow their kids to be mean will have mean kids and they will NOT grow out of it.

"Oh boys will be boys" does not fly in this house. "Boys will be well behaved" is the edict here.

My littlest one loves to grab and push and we stop him right away. Most of the time its done in fun.... but not even in fun can he hurt someone... even the cats. He is finally learning how to be nice to the cats and not lay on them or follow them around holding their tail.. (They are very tolerant but theres a limit to what they should have to tolerate!)

 

[hrh_disney_queen]

Originally posted by JoenAdamnErinnSam
I have 2 sons-who are now 22 and 20-they are 23 months apart-and the thing I would never tolerate-from a really early age was them hurting each other-I know alot of peolple don't agree with spanking-but if my older one(who was always alot bigger)hurt his brother-he got a swat. Not abusive, not a beating-a swat. It really took them til thier late teens to actually get along-they has very different interests growing up.Now one is in college and one living on his own and working, and they are very close.And I am very close to both of them. So there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

That's the way we handle it, too. The older one (22 months older) usually starts the fights, they are VERY competitive, and he knows it will not be tolerated. The younger one will start one occasionally, he has bitten the older a couple of times, and he knows that biting is one of the few behaviors worthy of a swat. I guess when I really think about it, there is more harmony than *******, but when I had them that close together I envisioned them being best friends from the get go.......