2 year old swearing - Yikes!

[alyssa810]

So my 2 year old has started saying the F-word. We're not entirely sure if it's something he heard from other kids at day care, or from us -although we really try to watch our language in front of him as he is a big repeater- or from TV that's been on...regardless of how he heard it, any suggestions for getting him to stop short of the old 'washing his mouth out with soap'? We've told him it's a naughty word and give him time outs and yelled at him not to say it but it doesn't seem to be working. We're also not so sure if he realizes that that's the bad word he's saying because we're trying not to repeat it.
Any thoughts? I just don't want to be that family at WDW whose kid is going around saying F*** in his Mickey Mouse ears!

 

[deerhart]

if it gets him attention he's likely to keep repeating it, simply for your reaction.

Thus the best thing is to try to stay as neutral as possible and just say (with no reaction) Tha's a word we don't say and leave it at that (or just ignore it for a bit and see if he drops it).

Just wait until he's a bit older and at the zoo and see's the exhibit for a Somalian Wild ***, finds it hilarious and now tells his brother to stop acting like a Somalian Wild ***. The rationale.. well its at the zoo so it CANNOT be a bad word if he uses the full name *sigh*

 

[Joan S.]

Hi, When my DD was 2 she picked up on my saying OH S***!! I STOPPED saying it and convinced her it was OH SHOOT!! Maybe you could do this with your son?? Tell him he is saying it WRONG it is FUNKY or something similar?? ANYTHING that you tell a 2 year old is BAD,is SO MUCH MORE enticing to them!! Try NOT to pay TOO MUCH attention if he continues to say it. And DO NOT say it in front of him anymore. Children will always do and say what you do, not what you tell them to do. Good Luck. Two year odls are SO MUCH FUN !! Joan

 

[aanderson5]

DS was 2 when he said the f word for the first time thanks to Daddy. We actually nipped it in the bud very quickly. We told him that was Daddy's word and we assigned him the word 'darn it'. His Granny and I also were assigned words. He had a very strong sense of ownership at that age and never used anyone elses word. He would inform people that they were not to use our words. We were flipping through the channels one night and Pulp Fiction was on. He got very upset saying they were using Daddy's word. LOL

He no longer refers to 'his word', 'our words' but he has not sworn since so it worked for us. He can be a bit of an odd duck about certain things so may not work for anyone else. (you should hear how we got him to give up the soother).

ETA - I have to add that we also became very careful with what we said. DH has a hard time while watching sports but has become much better.

 

[Luv Bunnies]

At 2 years old, he certainly doesn't know what it means and he probably can't even grasp the concept of "bad" vs "good" words. He has, however, figured out that saying it gets a reaction out of you (and 2 years olds just live for major reactions!). At this point, I would completely ignore it. When he says it, don't look at him or yell at him. Just continue with whatever you were doing and talk to him about something else. This may get him to forget about the word and drop it. Give him a reaction when he says something appropriate. "Look, a doggy!" "Oh wow, honey, what a nice doggy! I love doggies, don't you?"

 

[DisneyAndRedSox]

My DD didn't say the big-bad F-word, but we were close! When DD was 2.5 she looked at my mom and said "Mom-mom, where is my freakin' doll crib?" Later that same night as we were leaving she said "Mom, there is a freakin' bug on your car."

We explained to her that is it a big person word and it is not a nice word to say. I also told her if she hears Mommy, Daddy, Mom-mom or Pop-pop saying it to remind them that it isn't a nice word!

Of course this all started during the 2nd week of preschool. I have no clue if she said it there or not!

 

[buzzmom3]

Oh yeah, my darling little 2yr daughter dropped that one too! You are not alone. I couldn't help but gasp, so then she knew the word had some power. We convinced her it was not a nice word and that she shouldn't use it but every once in a while, she say"Ffff", not the whole word, look at me and laugh. Hopefully it doesn't get used outside the house either!

 

[BLAMBKY]

Pre K teacher here: when a kiddo says something inappropriate. I shrug my shoulders and say, "Sorry but that word isn't allowed here." It usually stuns/confuses them but I have yet to have a child use it again.
I have also assigned the word to a person. Man, was my SIL ever embarrassed!
I hope it passes quickly!

 

[sk!mom]

Hi, When my DD was 2 she picked up on my saying OH S***!! I STOPPED saying it and convinced her it was OH SHOOT!! Maybe you could do this with your son?? Tell him he is saying it WRONG it is FUNKY or something similar?? ANYTHING that you tell a 2 year old is BAD,is SO MUCH MORE enticing to them!! Try NOT to pay TOO MUCH attention if he continues to say it. And DO NOT say it in front of him anymore. Children will always do and say what you do, not what you tell them to do. Good Luck. Two year odls are SO MUCH FUN !! Joan

We had friends years ago with this problem and they also tried this method. They started saying, "TRUCK!!" whenever they needed a strong word and when their DS2 used the F word, they'd say no it's "Truck." He did switch to "truck" after a while and they made more of an effort to keep it clean so that he didn't pick up others.

 

[alyssa810]

Great tips everyone! Hopefully something will stick!

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Have you tried taking things away? TV privileges, favorite toys, computer time???

DS hasn't gone to that extreme yet, but in the cases of him exhibiting behavior that is purely unacceptable, he loses privileges - flat out. Time out never really worked for him, but once he started losing the things he really cared about, the attitude changed after a couple of days. Shoot, over Christmas (I was off work for 2 weeks) he wasn't allowed to play video games for the bulk of my vacation AND he lost TV privileges for a good amount of that time. Finally since the TV restrictions didn't work, he got in line fairly quick once he lost his beloved puzzles.

Have you tried offering him other words to say in place of his favorite expletive? DS was starting to say darn it, dang it, and something else, I can't remember, but I sat down with him and told him that I really didn't like him saying that. So I told him, why don't you say "oh barnacles" from spongebob or "ah phooey" like Donald or "aw shucks" like Mickey. Oh barnacles has been the one to stick so far and it makes me laugh to hear him say it.

Best cuss word he picked up was OH s**t! DH used that one a lot when he was temporarily laid off from work last year. My MIL was over one night and DS spilled something. Next thing I hear out of his mouth is OH S! OH S! OH S! I about DIED!!! He was sent to his room, told not to say that anymore, and he lost about 5-6 of his Cars cars for 3 days. I haven't heard it since.

 

[aanderson5]

Have you tried taking things away? TV privileges, favorite toys, computer time???

DS hasn't gone to that extreme yet, but in the cases of him exhibiting behavior that is purely unacceptable, he loses privileges - flat out. Time out never really worked for him, but once he started losing the things he really cared about, the attitude changed after a couple of days. Shoot, over Christmas (I was off work for 2 weeks) he wasn't allowed to play video games for the bulk of my vacation AND he lost TV privileges for a good amount of that time. Finally since the TV restrictions didn't work, he got in line fairly quick once he lost his beloved puzzles.

Have you tried offering him other words to say in place of his favorite expletive? DS was starting to say darn it, dang it, and something else, I can't remember, but I sat down with him and told him that I really didn't like him saying that. So I told him, why don't you say "oh barnacles" from spongebob or "ah phooey" like Donald or "aw shucks" like Mickey. Oh barnacles has been the one to stick so far and it makes me laugh to hear him say it.

Best cuss word he picked up was OH s**t! DH used that one a lot when he was temporarily laid off from work last year. My MIL was over one night and DS spilled something. Next thing I hear out of his mouth is OH S! OH S! OH S! I about DIED!!! He was sent to his room, told not to say that anymore, and he lost about 5-6 of his Cars cars for 3 days. I haven't heard it since.

I have to laugh, your word that you didn't like was our word we asked DS to say. I thought darn it was a 'nice' alturnative. I guess I have lost perspective working in kitchens with a bunch of potty mouths.

 

[tlh0726]

Are you sure that he is not actually trying to say something else?

As others already suggested try to limit your reaction.
Since you do not know where he actually heard the word, I would also be having a talk with his daycare provider to both let them know that he is saying it and that you have no clue as to where he actually learned it.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

I have to laugh, your word that you didn't like was our word we asked DS to say. I thought darn it was a 'nice' alturnative. I guess I have lost perspective working in kitchens with a bunch of potty mouths.

No perspective lost my friend! I've been in those kitchens and yes, darn it is desperately tame!

I personally think there are better things he can say now... he can graduate to darn it in a few years! Oh bummer is another one that I've tried. Plus, like I said before... hearing the alternatives is just funny to hear come out of their mouths! It helps relieve some of the tension of whatever moment is bumming him out.

 

[tzolkin]

Fortunately, my DS has not said anything terribly vulgar, but we had one language issue a few months ago.

He somehow picked up "howey cwap" as a term of excitement. For a few days it was "Howey cwap, sister's home" while running to greet the bus, "howey cwap ice cream", etc. We figured if we ignored it the first few times he would stop saying it (and he was using it in a friendly manner). But apparently he knew it was a "bad" word, because one day we got a hands-on-hips angry shout of "Sister, you is a howey cwap!" She is in middle school and thought it was hilarious, but DH and I sternly told DS that was inappropriate language and that he cannot call anyone that. He called her it once more a few days later and we told him the same thing-- no yelling or lecture, just a firm sentence. He has not said it since.

 

[alyssa810]

Have you tried taking things away? TV privileges, favorite toys, computer time???

DS hasn't gone to that extreme yet, but in the cases of him exhibiting behavior that is purely unacceptable, he loses privileges - flat out. Time out never really worked for him, but once he started losing the things he really cared about, the attitude changed after a couple of days. Shoot, over Christmas (I was off work for 2 weeks) he wasn't allowed to play video games for the bulk of my vacation AND he lost TV privileges for a good amount of that time. Finally since the TV restrictions didn't work, he got in line fairly quick once he lost his beloved puzzles.

Have you tried offering him other words to say in place of his favorite expletive? DS was starting to say darn it, dang it, and something else, I can't remember, but I sat down with him and told him that I really didn't like him saying that. So I told him, why don't you say "oh barnacles" from spongebob or "ah phooey" like Donald or "aw shucks" like Mickey. Oh barnacles has been the one to stick so far and it makes me laugh to hear him say it.

Best cuss word he picked up was OH s**t! DH used that one a lot when he was temporarily laid off from work last year. My MIL was over one night and DS spilled something. Next thing I hear out of his mouth is OH S! OH S! OH S! I about DIED!!! He was sent to his room, told not to say that anymore, and he lost about 5-6 of his Cars cars for 3 days. I haven't heard it since.

He's only 2 so taking away TV or computer time doesn't really do it. I will say though that yesterday he did only say it once. We think we're going to try the "ignore it" and see how that goes...or "what did you say about your truck?"

 

[Lstar311]

My 2 year olds word of choice is Damn It. I told him we don't say that and now he goes around saying I don't say Damn It

Guess my method of correction didn't work.

 

[Jenvenza]

Have you tried taking things away? TV privileges, favorite toys, computer time???

DS hasn't gone to that extreme yet, but in the cases of him exhibiting behavior that is purely unacceptable, he loses privileges - flat out. Time out never really worked for him, but once he started losing the things he really cared about, the attitude changed after a couple of days. Shoot, over Christmas (I was off work for 2 weeks) he wasn't allowed to play video games for the bulk of my vacation AND he lost TV privileges for a good amount of that time. Finally since the TV restrictions didn't work, he got in line fairly quick once he lost his beloved puzzles.

Have you tried offering him other words to say in place of his favorite expletive? DS was starting to say darn it, dang it, and something else, I can't remember, but I sat down with him and told him that I really didn't like him saying that. So I told him, why don't you say "oh barnacles" from spongebob or "ah phooey" like Donald or "aw shucks" like Mickey. Oh barnacles has been the one to stick so far and it makes me laugh to hear him say it.

Best cuss word he picked up was OH s**t! DH used that one a lot when he was temporarily laid off from work last year. My MIL was over one night and DS spilled something. Next thing I hear out of his mouth is OH S! OH S! OH S! I about DIED!!! He was sent to his room, told not to say that anymore, and he lost about 5-6 of his Cars cars for 3 days. I haven't heard it since.

Why would you put this child in a timeout for repeating a word his mom and dad use? It is not his fault he has picked up this word. It is most likely, the parents. The OP has already admitted they cuss and let the 2.5 yo watch TV that obviously is inappropriate.

Sorry you are in this boat OP - but when kids cuss at such an early age - you only have yourself to blame. It isnt cute. My Dh and I cuss - but we dont do it in front of our 2.5yo and she has yet to say any bad words. My sister's little boy - who is 2 - can say every bad word you can think of. But my sister cusses all the time. What she has tried to do and it seems to work, is say a word that is close to that word. Like Truck. Or darn or shoot.

 

[kwitcherkicken99]

Why would you put this child in a timeout for repeating a word his mom and dad use? It is not his fault he has picked up this word. It is most likely, the parents. The OP has already admitted they cuss and let the 2.5 yo watch TV that obviously is inappropriate.

Sorry you are in this boat OP - but when kids cuss at such an early age - you only have yourself to blame. It isnt cute. My Dh and I cuss - but we dont do it in front of our 2.5yo and she has yet to say any bad words. My sister's little boy - who is 2 - can say every bad word you can think of. But my sister cusses all the time. What she has tried to do and it seems to work, is say a word that is close to that word. Like Truck. Or darn or shoot.

Yeah, OP said she made a mistake, but why allow the child to continue behavior she sees unfit? Actions have consequences and preschoolers need those boundaries. Losing a privilege is a perfectly reasonable consequence to inappropriate action.

Now that OP is more aware of the problem, I'm sure she's going to try even harder to correct it. If you think about it some more, maybe they could turn it into a game. If the baby says it, he loses a toy. If mom and dad say it, they have to put money in a swear jar (like a dime for each time they do it). This is a teaching moment and OP is working to fix the problem, she asked for suggestions, those were mine... you don't have to agree with them.

 

[Joyful3Heart]

Fortunately, my DS has not said anything terribly vulgar, but we had one language issue a few months ago.

He somehow picked up "howey cwap" as a term of excitement. For a few days it was "Howey cwap, sister's home" while running to greet the bus, "howey cwap ice cream", etc. We figured if we ignored it the first few times he would stop saying it (and he was using it in a friendly manner). But apparently he knew it was a "bad" word, because one day we got a hands-on-hips angry shout of "Sister, you is a howey cwap!" She is in middle school and thought it was hilarious, but DH and I sternly told DS that was inappropriate language and that he cannot call anyone that. He called her it once more a few days later and we told him the same thing-- no yelling or lecture, just a firm sentence. He has not said it since.

Sorry, no advice here, but this one brought tears to my eyes!
Reading this thread I keep hearing grown up Ralphie saying..."But I didn't say "Fudge"......It was the F dash dash dash word"