
I haven't spoken to my sister in like 5 years. we are the only two siblings, have never been close, and she was awful to me during my divorce. When she first heard about it she called my now ex and said "I don't care what my b**** sister does, you are always part of the family." Which might even be a reasonable response if someone had asked her to take sides... but no one had. She basically took it upon herself to take his sides when no one even made it about that. We had a fight about it and she told me that she could not support something that was a bad decision... she "tells it like it is." Whenever we have argued before I was always the one to go crawling back to her and apologized 100% because of course everything is my fault... for the sake of peace and family unity. Well I did not do that this time and hence we have not spoken. She got custody of my parents in the divorce and I haven't spent a holiday with my family since getting divorced. My parents are EXTREMELY wrapped up in her life (they are over there several times a week, do her laundry, care for her kids etc) and there is just no room for me. I'm not asking them to give up being where they really want to be for holidays and they have never offered. That's why I've been bumming... I figured out my vacation time for the rest of the year and took off the week between xmas and new years also but it just makes me so sad to not even be welcome with my own family.
But honestly I don't miss her. she was a toxic force in my life and I don't miss the drama, the hate, the anger that she spews forth on a constant basis. But it is a little hard feeling so alone in the world. I don't spend holidays alone, I spend them with BF and his family... and I see my family a day or two after or maybe for a couple of hours on xmas day between times they are at my sister's house for xmas eve and xmas day dinner. just doesn't feel right though.
It's tough. It doesn't really bother me except around holidays and the 2x a year my parents come to visit my son here when my mother is on the phone or texting constantly with my sister.