1st day ALONE with my 3 week old...I can do this...Right?

[snoopy]

Awww, what a cutie. You look great too!

Looking back on the days when mine were babies, I realize how much I wish I could always live on "baby time". I love the memories of everything moving so slowly, and having that time to just cuddle them and rock them and put different outfits on them and take them for stroll around the block.

I agree with the sling -- there is a reason why women have been using them for centuries! We also used the hand towel to prop up their heads. And I am a clean freak to the nth degree, but I learned early on to nap when they nap!

Good luck, and congratulations on your beautiful baby!

 

[Sonya]

I don't have any new advice, DS is 7 weeks old so it's all new to me too, but I wanted to say that your DS is so cute and congratulations! Also the 1st week I was home alone with him I was freaked out. I survived and it's a lot easier now.

 

[Kitty 34]

What a cute pic of your son. Ahhh....enjoy these days alone with him because he will turn into a teenager soon and will want days totally alone!!!

 

[Pin Wizard]

You can do it! I've been doing it all alone since day one. Forget cleaning while baby is napping...use that time to rest! Sorry...but the feeling of tiredness won't be leaving any time soon. I think it goes on until they leave the nest. LOL! I'm ALWAYS tired! And DS is now 10 years old.

 

[AirForceRocks]

Any tips or trick to share?

My first tip would be put the baby down sometimes - he doesn't need to be held 24/7, and it's much easier to put him down for a few minutes, do what you need to do, then pick him up if necessary.

Notice a pattern? Delegate! Share the wealth of housework! Your DH can be a lifesaver, and I'm sure would LOVE to help you out.

And maybe it's just me, but come on, really??? If I were at home all day, baby or no baby, it wouldn't occur to me to have my husband work all day and then come home and do housework too! I can see if both parents are working, but I think it's terribly unfair to ask the DH to do his job and then help with her job too.

 

[Princess_Aurora]

1) Get a good swing. Those things are LIFESAVERS for the first couple of months. When he gets about 4 or 5 months, graduate to one of those stationary entertainers. Babies can be entertained in those for HOURS!

2) Take your car to one of those child seat safety checks. If your baby's head is flopping around then your carseat probably isn't reclined far enough back. I had that problem too...you think you're smart enough to install a carseat and then you go to one of the saftey checks and you find out that you may as well have been driving around without a carseat! They cut one of those swimming noodles up under the carseat to tilt it back a little and I didn't have the head flopping problem anymore.

Believe me, I know how you feel. DH was able to take two weeks off after I had DS but then he had to go to Atlanta for a week and a half that third week. My mom was with me when she wasn't working, but when she went to work I was all alone plus I had a 4yo to deal with as well. Believe me, you will survive this. And if all else fails, you can always get the best advice from the DIS

 

[MerryPoppins]

You've had tons of great advice. You'll do just fine. He is just darling.

I agree that you need a swing and a sling. Put him down once in a while. Play music in his room while he sleeps to drown out noises around the house.

When it comes to getting things done, I kept running lists of things I needed to do. Some were in the 5 minute section, some the 15 minute section and so on. When I had a few minutes to spare, I chose something off a section of the list. I felt productive when I got things marked off the list. You just have to teach yourself to choose the things that need to get done the most and forget the rest for now.

I had my DH help me when he got home. I didn't feel he "worked" any harder than I did all day and he agreed. In fact, he sat in front of a computer screen while I got up and down off the floor and chased after a child. I've had several jobs, and mother is the hardest and most rewarding one.

 

[Dan Murphy]

Just wanted to say hi to the very first DIS'er I ever met. Nice to see you again, Danica, and little Isaac too. You guys look great!!!!!! Congratulations!!!!!!

Dan

 

[KimRaye]

Originally posted by AirForceRocks
And maybe it's just me, but come on, really??? If I were at home all day, baby or no baby, it wouldn't occur to me to have my husband work all day and then come home and do housework too! I can see if both parents are working, but I think it's terribly unfair to ask the DH to do his job and then help with her job too.

I think it IS just you!

Baby or no baby you say? WELL, the situation IS baby AND, it takes 2, no matter who stays home working and who leaves to go TO work, neither of their JOBS end at 5:00!

And, I believe the DISer you were referring to, jfulcer, mentioned some wonderful, NON-JOB things to ease Mom's day(s), i.e. pick up the head protector and maybe pick up dinner sometimes. And, I don't think holding, loving and rocking your baby while Mom takes a shower to be a JOB either.

Come on! Really????


To You Danica: Congrats!!! ALL the good advice here is the same I'd have said! Nap when they nap! Let the answering machine take over, express your needs, ASK for help! Nearly EVERYONE wants to help when a newborn enters the picture! And yes, you & Isaac will do wonderfully!!!

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by AirForceRocks

And maybe it's just me, but come on, really??? If I were at home all day, baby or no baby, it wouldn't occur to me to have my husband work all day and then come home and do housework too! I can see if both parents are working, but I think it's terribly unfair to ask the DH to do his job and then help with her job too.

Yes, really. Everyone that I have heard, everyone that I have talked to that have small children (me included) would tell you that husbands LIKE to help out with the children - LIKE to take their part and do what needs to be done. Taking care of the child during the day IS a full time job (I could point out at least a dozen threads to this effect), why should it be the wife's problem to take care of the child during the evening when they BOTH have worked a full day?

Some of the best advice I've ever heard about taking care of an infant is that the main caregiver needs to have breaks from caring for a small infant. It's a good way to help with sanity checks and gives the daddy a good chance for bonding. Why do you think spas and massage places like to offer gift certificates and specials for 'new moms'? Cause they know this too.

Maybe it's just me and I like being involved in my kids lives. I like to do these things and don't complain when asked. To each his own, I suppose...

 

[snoopy]

You're a gem, jfulcer, and the great and wonderful thing about it is that there are SO MANY fathers who are gems just like you. Parenting is not one sided, and its a 24/7 job.

 

[helenabear]

Just wanted to say congratulations to you and that the picture of the both of you is wonderful! He is such a cutie

 

[d.kurz]

Danica, your baby is beautiful and so are you! You are living through one of life's scarier moments. Although it doesn't seem like a short "moment" to you right now, it really is just that. Look at all of us on this thread that made it!! You'll be fine!!!

 

[vald1977]

Awww, that picture is so precious! You look great Danica. The sleeping thing will get better once your ds is about 3-4 months old. Babies start sleeping for longer stretches at night then and mommy will be able to as well.

Here is the most important piece of advice I can think of, the one thing I wish someone had told me. **Don't try and be superwoman who can do everything!!** It is not "your job" now to do everything around the house plus 24/7 baby care. Yes, dh will be tired when he gets home from work but you will be just as tired (probably more so). If you work together, it will make the situation a lot better. You are also dealing with your body changing and those hormones can really take you on an emotional rollercoaster. This is normal and it will get better.

Remember that there are lots of moms on these boards who will help you with any questions or concerns. Enjoy that beautiful baby .

 

[AirForceRocks]

Yes, really. Everyone that I have heard, everyone that I have talked to that have small children (me included) would tell you that husbands LIKE to help out with the children - LIKE to take their part and do what needs to be done.

You might want to re-read what I wrote before you get your panties all wadded up. Helping with the baby, spending time with the kids is one thing. Expecting your husband to come home and do the housework when you've been home all day is something totally different.

 

[AirForceRocks]

Originally posted by snoopy
You're a gem, jfulcer, and the great and wonderful thing about it is that there are SO MANY fathers who are gems just like you. Parenting is not one sided, and its a 24/7 job.

Again, parenting is one thing. Asking a husband that's been working all day to come home and wash the dishes, clean the toilets, and mop the floors when you've been home all day is something totally different.

***ETA***

My DH has always been wonderful with the kids too, and always wanted to help with them as soon as he walked in the door. But that doesn't mean that during the time I was home, I expected him to come home and clean house after working. I preferred that he spend his off time with the kids rather than with Mr. Clean and the Toilet Duck.

 

[snoopy]

I don't know, I disagree to some extent, Brenda. I NEVER remember being as tired as I was after I had my babies and stayed home all day with them - I think its easier to be the one who got up to go to work, because I thought mothering a newborn was a lot of work (a pleasure as well, but not always easy when you are half comotose and the kid is glued to you 24/7 wanting to nurse!) I fully expected DH to help out with chores, etc. when he got home from work, probably more then when I was home then I do now that I go off to work.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Originally posted by AirForceRocks
Expecting your husband to come home and do the housework when you've been home all day is something totally different.

When you have just given birth and adjusting to becoming a new mom I think it is the best thing a dad can do. Goodness knows I really needed that kind of treatment from my dh.
Now when the kids are older different story.

 

[jfulcer]

Originally posted by AirForceRocks
You might want to re-read what I wrote before you get your panties all wadded up. Helping with the baby, spending time with the kids is one thing. Expecting your husband to come home and do the housework when you've been home all day is something totally different.

Originally posted by AirForceRocks
My DH has always been wonderful with the kids too, and always wanted to help with them as soon as he walked in the door. But that doesn't mean that during the time I was home, I expected him to come home and clean house after working. I preferred that he spend his off time with the kids rather than with Mr. Clean and the Toilet Duck.

But that's just it, if playing with Mr Clean is what DW wants me to do, doing that as my part is what I should do. I still will get my time with the baby, even with doing that stuff - but during the day SHE should be spending time with the baby, IMHO. I'd prefer HER to be spending time with the Baby instead of the Toilet Duck.

And yes, I know, the baby can sleep and you can get stuff done, but that's also time for a tired mommy to catch up on her sleep. And yes, I also know that you can do things while the baby plays. As far as I'm concerned that time for mommy to spend with the baby(prolly her favorite thing to do) is such a fleeting moment in the baby's life that housework is the last thing I would imagine she wants to do.

<i>And</i>, if you had read this thread, you'd know I don't wear any panties.

 

[AirForceRocks]

But that's just it, if playing with Mr Clean is what DW wants me to do, doing that as my part is what I should do.

And that's my point - I *personally* think it's incredibly selfish of a woman to stay home all day and then expect her husband to clean the house when he gets home because she's been "busy" holding a baby all day. If it works for you great, I just wouldn't dream of it myself.