..........

[C.Ann]

 

[babytrees]

I would probably tell DGD to go. Mainly, because it is so important to the other grandparents. Tell her she can call mom anytime she wants but because grandma and grandpa are counting on her she needs to go to the wedding.

 

[mickeyboat]

I would strongly encourage her to go. She can't stay glued to her mom forever, and needs to learn that her mom will be o.k. without her.

Are there some concessions that can be made to make her feel better? Will she be able to contact her mom via cell phone while she is gone? Will she be spending the night or coming home?

Is there some other reason she might not want to go?

DD9 has always been on the clingy side, but has been growing out of it. I told her a week or two ago that I was going to NC for a weekend in October, and you would have thought I told her I was leaving forever. She was inconsolable. But she needs to understand that she can survive just fine without me, and that I need to do things sometimes without her.

Good luck to you!

Denae

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

I wouldn't insist on it. She feels the need to be protective of her DM so let her. If she went to the wedding she would probably be miserable worrying about her mom. Its not that she doesn't trust you to take care of her but she is feeling very protective.

I had surgery about a year ago and my DD still hovers over me (and I was never in a wheelchair). I wouldn't push it. I just know how sensitive my DD was with me.

 

[KirstenB]

I don't know why your dd is in a wheelchair, and that might influence my answer. I also don't know what relation the bride and groom are to you all. Having said that, I'd encourage your granddaughter to go. Weddings are a big celebration. If my mom or MIL thought it was a big deal, I'd make sure our 10 yr old was there. Can she carry a cel phone so she can check in with your dd? She sounds like such a responsible kiddo, but her mom is in (your) good hands, so she needs to go.

 

[shirleyb]

I would strongly encourage her to go, but wouldn't insist on it.

 

[arielsleepingbeauty]

Thats a tough one. I feel for DGD to have that much worry about her mother at the age of 10. I am not sure what the circumstances are around DD's health conditions. On one hand you dont want DGD to be so clingy that she will have too much anxiety to go anywhere, but on the other hand, if she is going to be miserable, i wouldn't make her go to someone else's wedding. The ride alone, 4 hours, is long and then frankly, weddings are pretty boring. If i was 10, i would want to stay home with my mother too.

Has your DD talked to her and told her that she would be would fine if DGD goes? Maybe she could make a deal with her and DGD could call her every hour to check in.

Whatever happens, I hope that DGD ends up having a happy day.

 

[C.Ann]

 

[The Mystery Machine]

It's very, very important to DD's MIL that DGD attend this wedding - and she's not too thrilled that DD won't be attending..

Just wondering how other parents would handle this situation..

Now it would be a nice gesture to bring your DGD, but not necessary. The MIL needs to get a grip.

If the kid doesn't want to go, I wouldn't push it. I am guessing this is an aunt/uncle getting married (in relation to DGD?)

 

[C.Ann]

I am guessing this is an aunt/uncle getting married (in relation to DGD?)

---------------------

It's her father's cousin.. Her dad is an only child..

 

[The Mystery Machine]

---------------------

It's her father's cousin.. Her dad is an only child..

Oh..
I think weddings are too hyped up so I am not probably one to ask.

 

[ALittleDisneyFan]

-----------------------------------

Yes - they will be staying overnight as the wedding isn't until 4 in the afternoon.

I don't know why your DD is in a wheelchair.. however, maybe your DGD is nervous because it's overnight? Maybe that is a little overwhelming for her at this point. How long has your DD been in the wheelchair?

 

[Alex2kMommy]

I would strongly encourage her to go, but wouldn't insist on it.

I agree. Maybe your DD could ask DGD to be her eyes and ears at the wedding, and tell everyone how much she wished she could be there. Whoever is going to be watching her can perhaps let her call DD after the ceremony and tell her how it went, what the dress looked like, and who is there. And if she attends the reception, she can call mom after to do more of the same.

But if she is dead set against going, I wouldn't force her to go. Her other grandmother will just have to understand that she's a little girl who is obviously very worried about her mother right now.

 

[bumbershoot]

I don't know about making your granddaughter go, but I know that if I were the bride wanting her to go, I would make darned sure her mom could go! I would be arranging for some sort of planking to make the wheelchair possible, I would find hotels along the way so that your daughter could stop and rest on the way there instead of doing it in one day, I would be bending over backwards to help your granddaughter feel comfortable in going there.

That's what I would do if I were the bride. If it were important for me to have your granddaughter there, and if people had shared with me why the girl wasn't happy about going to the wedding.

Good luck in whatever happens!

 

[C.Ann]

 

[akhenaten]

I agree. Maybe your DD could ask DGD to be her eyes and ears at the wedding, and tell everyone how much she wished she could be there. Whoever is going to be watching her can perhaps let her call DD after the ceremony and tell her how it went, what the dress looked like, and who is there. And if she attends the reception, she can call mom after to do more of the same.

But if she is dead set against going, I wouldn't force her to go. Her other grandmother will just have to understand that she's a little girl who is obviously very worried about her mother right now.

This is a great idea!!
your DD should give her a camera and ask her to take pics and give her a full report on the wedding!!!

If she still does not want to go then I would certainly not force her...

 

[Tiggeroo]

I would strongly encourage, nearly insist on her going. It's not going to be healthy for her to start avoiding things in life because of her mom. Also her dad needs to be as important as her mom. In addition the wedding party needs her. I would also really think about counseling so she has a safe place to discuss her mom's illness and find ways to cope.

 

[TEENEE]

I think I would encourage her to go. A weekend away from all the stresses of home might be good for her. I like the idea of her reporting back to mom. She'll feel like she has an important job. Maybe dad can give her the job of reading the map on the drive. Once she is there and surrounded by the rest of her family I'm sure she will have a great time.

 

[lovemygoofy]

I'm coming at this from an angle as someone who has always felt like I needed to be near my mom, to take care of her or whatever. It wasn't healthy for either of us. If she is like this now at 10, it may just get worse as she gets older. Please think about getting her out and away from the family often. Let her know that your daughter and son in law can handle the "big" issues and that this little girl can be a little girl and go out and have fun and all will be right in the world. The transition will be worse if you wait until she is older.


C.Ann, I must have missed this. What happened to your daughter, if it's not too persona??

 

[TwinsinCA]

I don't think she should be forced to go. This is simply not a close enough relative that her attendance should be required. IMNSHO the MIL needs to get a grip. I cannot imagine why she is so insistent that her grandchild attend her nephew's wedding.