11yo freedom on board

[Lia917]

Good morning!

We will be cruising with our 11yo this summer. I understand he will be able to check himself in/out of the kids club and Edge. This is the 1st time he'll have this freedom. How have other parents handled this? I was thinking we would give him a specific list of places he is allowed om his own(clubs, pools, concierge lounge) with a caveat he leave a note on a white board in the room if he doesn't find us. Also planning on giving him a (waterproof) watch with alarm set for times to meet up- meals, etc. He is phoneless and we want to keep it that way.

And advice is much appreciated!

 

[TestingH2O]

Well, you don’t HAVE to give him the ability to be independent. While he is eligible for Edge, and there is no sign-in/sign-out system there, he still qualifies for the club. You could only register him for that and not give him self checkout.

In terms of moving around the ship, I actually set up an old iPhone for DD9 in the spring. (Sadly, she has her own phone now due to sports, so she used that a couple weeks ago.) I didn’t want to be tied to the cabin myself, but I did want to know where she was. So our rules were that she messaged me whenever she changed location. She would go to the club, message me when she went to get ice cream, message me that she was back in the club, etc. We set a curfew each night after dinner. She didn’t follow expectations one night in August, so she wasn’t allowed to go out the next night after dinner. She wasn’t pleased, but just one evening’s restriction got her right back on track.

The biggest rules we have are absolutely no visiting other staterooms and no swimming. The pool has signs posted saying kids need to have adult supervision for under age 13, and I enforce that rule.

 

[adamki]

We did something very similar to what you’re thinking.

On the first day we had our son lead us from various places on the ship back to the stateroom before we sent him off on his own.

As for the phone, I completely agree with you about 11 year olds and phones - at that age we had an old phone that would get issued to my son for specific purposes and times. The ship was one of those times. All of the schedule information is available on the app and you can message each other.

 

[Lia917]

Well, you don’t HAVE to give him the ability to be independent. While he is eligible for Edge, and there is no sign-in/sign-out system there, he still qualifies for the club. You could only register him for that and not give him self checkout.

In terms of moving around the ship, I actually set up an old iPhone for DD9 in the spring. (Sadly, she has her own phone now due to sports, so she used that a couple weeks ago.) I didn’t want to be tied to the cabin myself, but I did want to know where she was. So our rules were that she messaged me whenever she changed location. She would go to the club, message me when she went to get ice cream, message me that she was back in the club, etc. We set a curfew each night after dinner. She didn’t follow expectations one night in August, so she wasn’t allowed to go out the next night after dinner. She wasn’t pleased, but just one evening’s restriction got her right back on track.

The biggest rules we have are absolutely no visiting other staterooms and no swimming. The pool has signs posted saying kids need to have adult supervision for under age 13, and I enforce that rule.

 

[Lia917]

Thank you!!! Didn't know about the pool, will enforce as well. And yes, no visiting\inviting ppl to our stateroom- I've already started talking to him about that to get it stuck in his head.

 

[jimmymc]

A watch and designated times to meetup is how I would do it. My family did flip phones for that age, but being on a cruise those wouldn't help anyway, so a cheap watch would be easy.

 

[MomOTwins]

We did something similar with our 10 year olds who were not yet "Edge" eligible, but were allowed to be there and Vibe during open houses (which happened 1-2 times per day so quite often).

We would tell them where we would be during that time and make that place one of the options of where they could go--usually trivia or bingo at the D lounge or somewhere else they can easily find; we only went to adult only venues when they were securely checked in to Oceaneer's club as we wanted to be sure they could always reach mom and dad. The other options we gave them were:
1) they could be at Edge/Vibe during open house
2) they could check themselves into Oceaneer's club/lab, or
3) they could watch a movie and get ice cream or snacks on the pool deck.

We had a no swimming rule for safety reasons. I also see the pp mentions it a DCL rule for under 13s which I agree is a good idea.

We also had a no stateroom rule--both other people's staterooms and our own stateroom. I know a lot of parents allow their free range kids to go to their stateroom as one of the options. I'm not comfortable with that for a couple reasons. First, what happens if one of them is in the stateroom alone and gets hurt doing something stupid like jumping on the bed, or slips and falls in the bathroom, or heaven forbid decides to monkey around on the verandah and go overboard, nobody would be there to help. Also, I try not to be too paranoid, but I did read a news story about a sexual assault of a child that occurred in in a stateroom by a crew member who had a stateroom key, and it hit home to me that the kids are likely safest when there are other adults (parents and CMs) around in a public place.

 

[squirk]

I respect the goal of keeping him phoneless, but since you asked - do everyone a favor and get him a stripped-out phone where he can connect to the DCL-GUEST wi-fi and use the DCL app.

He may meet kids in the clubs and want to communicate with them in terms of coordinating meet-ups and stuff. And YOU may want to have the ability to message him if/when you need to.

If you have an old iPhone or Android phone lying around (or can just go buy a cheap prepaid Android phone at Walmart), take out the SIM, so cellular service is impossible, and strip out all of the apps (or, at least, as many as possible), leaving just the DCL app. Once on-board, connect to DCL-GUEST, and link up the phone with your phone(s) for texting capability.

Unless he is using the DCL app, the phone is essentially useless. No downloads, no games, no access to the internet “at large,” no social media, no photo apps with goofy filters, etc. The phone, for all intents and purposes, stops being a phone and becomes a “DCL device.”

We did this with an old iPhone 5 we had lying around, and it worked great.

 

[AppleDGang]

We've been in the same position, and think it's very much a balance. The fact is that the ship is a good, generally very safe place for a tween to start to experience some independence - and when that happens, they feel good about it, and makes for a nice vacation for the parents too.

Our kids had the following rules (I'm sure there were a few more, but you get the idea) which we actually printed out and made them sign! I do think that getting them a phone / ipod to use to text you via the app would be *really* helpful - and would help you know that they're safe and happy.

Good luck.
********
1. No going into anyone else's stateroom. And you may not invite anyone into our stateroom. Ever.
2. You must be on time for all meals.
3. After dinner, you must stay in the edge / vibe. If you want to leave for a show or movie with friends, you have to tell us where you are going. And once you leave your club for the night, you have to return directly to our cabin.
4. The ship is not a mall. You may not roam around with other kids. You get to hang out with other kids at the edge / vibe.
5. When you do leave the edge / vibe (for a movie, funnel vision, the aquaduck, basketball, mini golf or for food) we expect you to be on your very best behavior. Set a good example, especially for younger kids, and be aware that we will likely see you.
6. Take the stairs. You are young and able-bodied. Leave the elevators to those who need them. You do not.
7. No swimming without your parents. However, you may use the Aquaduck with your friends.

 

[cmph]

Our plan had been like others above - we had an old Samsung from my MIL that no one was using, stripped it down, and had the DCL app on it. I think we might have put an airline app on it for use with viewing tv/movies on the plane? I can't remember if American Airlines entertainment was app or browser based at that time.

DS was not used to being in charge of a phone. Long story short: that phone now lives in Vancouver somewhere, or possibly went on its own journey to another city from the Vancouver airport, but it never made it onto the cruise. So my addendum to the previous advice is: keep that phone in your possession until you get on the ship.

His older sister, who did have a phone plus had brought along an old ipod for music listening purposes, let him use her ipod. This was a couple years ago, but mentioning in case an ipod is an option for you (doesn't break your phone rule but possibly is too close).

 

[MichelleCanada]

I respect the goal of keeping him phoneless, but since you asked - do everyone a favor and get him a stripped-out phone where he can connect to the DCL-GUEST wi-fi and use the DCL app.

He may meet kids in the clubs and want to communicate with them in terms of coordinating meet-ups and stuff. And YOU may want to have the ability to message him if/when you need to.

If you have an old iPhone or Android phone lying around (or can just go buy a cheap prepaid Android phone at Walmart), take out the SIM, so cellular service is impossible, and strip out all of the apps (or, at least, as many as possible), leaving just the DCL app. Once on-board, connect to DCL-GUEST, and link up the phone with your phone(s) for texting capability.

Unless he is using the DCL app, the phone is essentially useless. No downloads, no games, no access to the internet “at large,” no social media, no photo apps with goofy filters, etc. The phone, for all intents and purposes, stops being a phone and becomes a “DCL device.”

We did this with an old iPhone 5 we had lying around, and it worked great.

I completely agree with squirk! We just did two cruises (Fantasy and Wish) and my DS11 had an old phone. He used it to set an alarm 5 minutes before he was to meet us somewhere and never missed a meeting. He was texting some other kids that he met in Edge. Our rule was that he just had to text us where he was going or what he was doing. So he would text that he was going to get food on the pool deck, or he is was going to Oceaners for a while, or doing Mid-ship with some friends. It made him quite independent and he was proud of himself. He normally has anxiety and he liked having a way of knowing where we were as well.

Your dinner schedule and other things that we planned also showed up on his DCL app so he knew where we were or what we had planned as a family. Finally, the phone also showed him what activities were coming up at the clubs so he could decide what he wanted to do and not miss them.

 

[Lia917]

Our plan had been like others above - we had an old Samsung from my MIL that no one was using, stripped it down, and had the DCL app on it. I think we might have put an airline app on it for use with viewing tv/movies on the plane? I can't remember if American Airlines entertainment was app or browser based at that time.

DS was not used to being in charge of a phone. Long story short: that phone now lives in Vancouver somewhere, or possibly went on its own journey to another city from the Vancouver airport, but it never made it onto the cruise. So my addendum to the previous advice is: keep that phone in your possession until you get on the ship.

His older sister, who did have a phone plus had brought along an old ipod for music listening purposes, let him use her ipod. This was a couple years ago, but mentioning in case an ipod is an option for you (doesn't break your phone rule but possibly is too close).

Actually your phone experience is my fear as well lol!

 

[MomOTwins]

I respect the goal of keeping him phoneless, but since you asked - do everyone a favor and get him a stripped-out phone where he can connect to the DCL-GUEST wi-fi and use the DCL app.

He may meet kids in the clubs and want to communicate with them in terms of coordinating meet-ups and stuff. And YOU may want to have the ability to message him if/when you need to.

If you have an old iPhone or Android phone lying around (or can just go buy a cheap prepaid Android phone at Walmart), take out the SIM, so cellular service is impossible, and strip out all of the apps (or, at least, as many as possible), leaving just the DCL app. Once on-board, connect to DCL-GUEST, and link up the phone with your phone(s) for texting capability.

Unless he is using the DCL app, the phone is essentially useless. No downloads, no games, no access to the internet “at large,” no social media, no photo apps with goofy filters, etc. The phone, for all intents and purposes, stops being a phone and becomes a “DCL device.”

We did this with an old iPhone 5 we had lying around, and it worked great.

Well, yes and no. Technically there's nothing to stop the kid from signing up for the 50mb free internet, and if you are purchasing an internet package that is by stateroom not by device so they can access it with your room number and last name. Even if you disable cellular, the internet on the ship is through wifi and works in airplane mode without a sim card. You can tell them "don't use the internet" and trust they won't, but in that case how is that any different from giving them a fully loaded phone? Even if they don't have the youtube app, they can watch youtube in a browser. And even if they don't have a downloaded game, they can play one of the many online games that don't require a download. It all boils down to do you trust your kid with a phone or not, which is always going to vary based on the kid, their maturity, and their track record with how they handle freedom/responsibility.

I love my 10 year olds, but they have a Captain Barbosa attitude toward rules, especially when it comes to devices and internet/video games. So we have an absolute no phone policy at home, and all their tablet devices have strict parental controls with internet browsing disabled and age filters for content.

Anyway, different families will always be different, but I say this just because I don't think the "limited capability cell phone" is really all that foolproof.

*edited to add* I always get a lot of internet on the ship for work (wish I didn't have to but oh well) and the Wish now has unlimited plans. Obviously, how much your kids can get out of phone internet access will depend on if you have internet in the first place.

 

[cmph]

Actually your phone experience is my fear as well lol!

Haha - well yup, it's certainly a rational fear! His sister was, shall we say, somewhat concerned about her ipod every time he used it. Somehow that did not get lost, but if it had - at least we'd have known it was somewhere on the ship (whether or not we got it back - less hassle TRYING to get it back, which we know b/c his sister's jacket ended up in the Wonder lost and found a few days later... KIDS).

I'm afraid I do not have a lot of good advice for your otherwise, though, b/c our one big rule was that he and his sister and cousin had to stay together unless he and the cousin went to the kids' club during supervised hours. All 3 of them are the kind of kids who are fanatical rule followers and hate getting in trouble, so we were not concerned with misbehavior, and they did not hang out with other kids who might have been so inclined.

You may think about including the movie theater on your list of approved places? DS loved being able to see so many movies, and at that age he was indiscriminate about which - Star Wars, Marvel, Disney / Pixar cartoons, any were great.

 

[tvguy]

You are the only one who can judge your child's ability to be responsible. Our kids were 12 and 16 and had the freedom to do whatever they wanted but never took advantage, they stayed with us 24/7 for the week. But based on our previous cruise on HAL the year before, for our family that is the goal of a cruise, being together 24/7. We left our mom and dad hats at Port Canaveral and were just their friends for a week. My wife and I did do a champagne tasting, and our daughter did go to one music trivia contest in the Club, but my 12 year old knew more about music that the 18-ish girl running it. I have posted before, the Kids Club Castmember sincerely did not know Paul McCartney had been in a group before Wings. SMH!

 

[lilsonicfan]

Our rules for our 9/10yo were that once they checked out of kids' club, they had to go back to the room and message us from there (they had an ipad in the room they could use), they were also allowed to go and get ice cream on the pool deck before going back to our rooms, but other than that, no other places to venture. For our 12yo who was in Edge, he did have a phone then, though it had no phone capabilities. He was allowed a bit more freedom but had to message us when leaving Edge to go somewhere else. He was really good about checking in to see where we were, etc.

 

[Weedy]

I’ll quote my favorite line that I heard from another Dad on our cruise years ago.
“This is a privilege and if you don’t follow my rules I’ll clip your wings so fast you’re head will spin”

 

[Calantha]

. The ship is not a mall. You may not roam around with other kids. You get to hang out with other kids at the edge / vibe.

This is 100% win.

DS is only 7 so we have a few years before I have to worry about it...but seeing the roaming bands on the Fantasy in July, I was stumped at how to address it. Thank you for the rule!

 

[squirk]

Actually your phone experience is my fear as well lol!

That’s why you get something cheap. If it goes AWOL, no harm, no foul.

Plenty of low-end but “good enough” Android phones out there. Or you can get a crappy used one on eBay, FreeCycle, wherever.

 

[adamki]

That’s why you get something cheap. If it goes AWOL, no harm, no foul.

Plenty of low-end but “good enough” Android phones out there. Or you can get a crappy used one on eBay, FreeCycle, wherever.

This.

My kid's first junky cruise "phone" met a watery death while snorkeling at St. Lucia. He learned an important lesson and treats his electronics with much more care to this day. They've got to make mistakes at some point.