I don't think you should panic. I don't think you can go wrong. All of the resorts have great theming, as far as I have seen. All of the resorts have the Disney quality aspect to them. I think she'd be very happy at any of them! All of the resorts have magic. While I've never stayed at a value resort, I understand most people are very pleased with them. All of the mods I have stayed at each had their own unique surprises, so for me, discovering what each resort has to offer is the real treat. The big plus of the deluxe resorts is their location, IMHO. The mods have really neat pools and restaurants, nice decor in the rooms, and I like the idea of a Disney food court for breakfast(I rarely touch the ones at my local malls though). It gives everyone in the group the opportunity to get their choice of quality food, and get it quickly. How many choices are there at breakfast anyhow? The deluxes have slightly bigger rooms, but as I said, the real benefit for most of them is their location - making it easier to get back to the hotel mid-day. The pool theming isn't really any better, but I suppose that depends on your tastes. Personally, I think GF is a little lacking for the price, but that's just me. AKL probably has the best theming of any resort, and the bonus of the animals, but it is a long bus ride to MK. The Swan/Dolphin can be a great deal if you are a nurse, teacher, or gov't worker (they also have great theming, even if they aren't official hotels. They don't qualify for the new airport shuttle servicebut they have three nice pools, great restaurants, and a great location) I think you should consider how much you want to pay as your first consideration, and then decide which amenities/themes appeal to both of you - if you want beach, hot tub, animals, 24-hr room service (the Disney web page has a chart) and then look at a map of the park to decide which things you'd like to be near. The Disney webpage also has a great resort tour feature now. But whatever your choice, I think you'll enjoy it!
P.S. The kids really enjoyed all of the hotels we have stayed at too! I think they feel the same way - that each resort has had fun things to discover!