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[C.Ann]

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[jonestavern]

Hi Ann-
we moved to different neighborhoods when Ds was 3, 11 & 12.
I took pics of DS' friends & ones of DS to give to his friends. I put pics of friends & family in his room. Even though his letters were barely decipherable & his friends were pretty close by, we'd write a letter every other week. also, play dates, sleepovers were arranged. Phone calls encouraged.
we arranged for him to visit, a couple of times, his new school during off hrs before he was due to start there.
If the deal goes through get her involved in the decoration of her bedrm, maybe a little garden & perhaps, her little friend & Grandma would like to help, too?

Jean

 

[tiberius]

At this age, a change like this is also an adventure. Your DGD is lucky to have a DGM like you in her life!

 

[binny]

C.Ann, we have moved with our kids but not far. But as a child I was moved from Idaho to Northern Canada and all over the both countries. I went to 9 different elementary schools.

Was it easy? no, but it was a lot easier knowing that my family was there and that we were together. My parents made sure they always got our friends' addresses ( maybe email now?) and we drew pictures for our friends until we were old enough to actually write letters.

While it was tough to not grow up with the same people. I think moving helped us learn coping skills early in life, it taught us to meet people and be comfortable with putting ourselves out there.


Good luck, either way it will be ok.

 

[DVCLiz]

I think in this case I'd stress how lucky it is that her new house is so close to her friend. Only a little bit of time by car!!!! Then I'd remind her that some people move far, far away. I think knowing that she can still see her friend regularly will take some of the sting out of it. And, of course, if the adults are all positive about it, that will help, too. And she'll make new friends - kids always do. I think it might be easier for her than you think right now.

 

[Serena]

C.Ann, with her family she'll be ok. But try not to worry until you have to okay.

 

[C.Ann]

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[C.Ann]

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[mommaU4]

What are some of the "positives" we could focus on? The first that comes to mind is a HUGE yard - over an acre I believe - so she could run around with her dog in the backyard (which she can't do here because the in-ground pool takes up most of the yard)..

We moved from CA to MI in summer of 04. I think it was hardest on my DD who was about seven and a half when we moved. She had a friend in the same apartment building as us who also went to the same school as her. They were friends for about 2 years and were very close.

When we moved DD talked about her alot and how she missed her so much. I just listened and let her talk about her friend as often as she needed to. We took pics of the two of them together before we left and I put those up in her new room. They sent letters back and forth which was really something to look forward to.

Eventually school started here and she made new friends. She started taking karate classes which helped keep her busy. We went from a 2 bdrm. apt. to a 4 bdrm. house with 2 and a half acres for all the kids to run, bike, play. Then of course winter came with a whole new world of things to do for them.

She is fine now. They did stop writing eventually. She still has her pic up but doesn't talk about her much. Kids are pretty adaptable. More than adults are. I think when she gets there she'll be fine especially with the room to play. And if she's only 30 minutes away then perhaps they can visit and arrange special playdates, maybe some sleepovers?

I would much rather move with a child of this age then one who's older, say in high school. I remember being in my junior year and my mom talking of moving. I had friends and a boyfriend (now my DH) and the thought of moving then made me cry and cry. I think when you are older the bonds you make with your friends is deeper and if there is a BF in the pic then it's even harder. So better to move when they are younger.

She'll be fine.

 

[Serena]

She will be alright.

 

[C.Ann]

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[Jeanny]

well, the good thing is she's only 7 and she will make more friends, too many to count. While it's overwhelming for a child to have to move, she will adjust. I vaguely remember moving when I was 5, I was in kindergarten. While I don't remember any of my "friends", I do remember the last day of school, moving and remember going to my new school. I don't remember any of those "friends" either!!!!

 

[golfgal]

The move is only 30 minutes away so they will still be able to see each other, she will make new friends at her new school. Kids are pretty adaptable. I think it is good for kids to move at least once and learn how to make new friends, etc. It is a valuable life skill not everyone has.

We are moving from our much beloved house, neighborhood and town this summer. Our oldest is ok with the move but our twins are having a hard time. We are moving 3 hours away, which will be more difficult. We will make arrangements for the kids to visit their friends and with email and IM will be able to stay in contact but it isn't the same. Our kids will be going into 9th and 6th grades next year.

 

[Lynn CC]

They could always set up playdates with one another and keep in touch that way. The main thing is to accentuate the positive to her and try to be upbeat about the whole move! Change is hard at any age, let her know what a good friend she is and that there are others that she doesn't know yet waiting to be her friend too!

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

She will adapt, probably quicker than you think. My dad had a job that meant we moved many times when I was growing up. In fact we moved: Mississippi to California age 3, CA back to MS age 6, MS to MO age 10, and MO to WA age 17.

It is much easier on a younger child. But I grew to look at is as an adventure, got to make new friends and explore a new town!

 

[VSL]

She'll adjust. She's young.

Hey, I moved when I was a little younger than that, and while it seemed like the worst thing in the world before it happened, once I had moved it was fine.

Kids just adapt. When you *have* to deal with something, you just do. You might be suprised at how quickly, too.

 

[padams]

You may be more upset about the move than she will be. Be careful not to transfer your feelings to her. If she thinks grandma's upset, she may become upset.

Kids are resilient. It's only 30 minutes away. She can still visit her friends. At some point in life, almost everyone moves away from their first home- the only home they know. Moving is a great opportunity for her to learn to make new friends at such a young age. What if she lived in the same house and had the same friends until she went to college? In that scenario, she would have a major adjustment to make. At 7, it's a minor adventure.

 

[In a hurry]

Actually it makes me kind of sad too.. I've kind of gotten used to my nice little bedroom here - just the perfect size for my needs - and I'm finally learning my way around the neighborhood after a year and 3 months.. But I'm an adult and I can adjust more easily (not to mention it will bring us about a half-hour closer to my place at the lake ).. I'm really worried about her though..

You know, I find tht kids adjust to change better than we adults, most of the time. We always have a kid or two coming or going during our school year (1st grade), and almost all of the kids make a good transition. When I have taught 3rd it seems abit more difficult.

Focussing on having each other, and her friend being just a ride in the car away will help. And, within a short time, she will rpobably have an abundance of new friends. (Also kind of sad, I know!)

 

[Rock'n Robin]

You know, my DH moved many times growing up, the last time just before 11th grade. He is much more personable and friendly than I am, and probably because he had to make new friends several times. I lived in the same house until I got married (heck, my parents have been in the same house since 1958) and I loathe going into new social situations.
We moved when my girls were 6 and 3. I was most worried about the 6 year old, but she's very gregarious and made friends easily. Plus it is the same school district, although it was a different elementary school, so she saw some of her old friends on different teams, etc., and now they are all together in jr. high. It is much more difficult when friends move far away. The girls have lost friends to Chicago, Buffalo, and Seattle.
Robin M.