Dyerneeds
chics dig the scar
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2005
- Messages
- 15,681
Baked Beans
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love with him. When it became
apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home
from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my partner and told
him that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed
by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time
I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had
consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made
sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed
delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the
telephone rang. He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned
and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure
had been building and was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband
was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one
leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a
skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and
fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink
was worse than a skunk's on a diet of cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room,
I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone
farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few
more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back
on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband
returned, apologizing for taking so long. He asked me if I had peeked
through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests
seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday to You !!!!"
I fainted!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So does anyone bring room fresheners with them on the cruise.
I was thinking of bringing a couple of these for our August cruise to see how they work out. I have them at home and they work pretty good.
http://www.airwick.us/freshmatic.shtml
Man alive, I just woke up from a two hour nap. Hazel had a sleepover with her group of girls that she teaches on Wednesday nights and Angelina's best friend Trish came over and took Angelina to the mall. Since the house was very still and quiet I decided to lay on the bed and watch TV, yeah right............................![]()
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The nap felt good though............![]()
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Hazel usually picks up a couple air fresheners from the Dollar Store and brings them along for the cruise.
ok. i think i'm caught up on reading.
busy week. had to help my neighbor cinnamon go though an operation.
after a lot of soul-searching, cinnamon decided to have another personality augmentation.![]()
apparently there was a rather large donation recently and cinnamon was on the donor list and couldnt refuse.![]()
she's fine now and recovering nicely.![]()
robins been a real sport about the whole thing. she knows i'm just a nice guy trying to help a damsel in distress.![]()
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As disturbing as this?
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A bit of sparkle and I'm there...Rick calls me a magpie. I quite like this one
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or this
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Did you take a pic of his reaction?I just told my BIL that all the guys are wearing this at quiet cove while the girls wear theri tiaras!![]()
Did you take a pic of his reaction?
Well if we are wearing them to the pool, maybe we should get these.
http://www.tiaratown.com/t5948a.htm
Hi everyone olivia here im back
are you lot all thinking of wearing tiaras?
haha![]()
you adults can talk!!let me tell you that
TEAM ENGLAND
Hi everyone olivia here im back
are you lot all thinking of wearing tiaras?
haha![]()
you adults can talk!!let me tell you that
TEAM ENGLAND