I have been both a working single mom and a SAHM. My youngest is 12 my oldest is going to be 30. I put my DS18 months and DS30 months into daycare on campus so I could finish my college degree. They were there even when I went and took summer classes. The daycare did not raise my boys I DID! Within a month of graduation I had a full time job and they were in school full time, so did the schools raise my kids? Nope I still did. Did my mom help me raise them? Yes she did, since I lived with her at the time, she was the other "parent" in a manner of speaking. But the rules and all that goes with it were all me. When DD was born, DH stayed home with her for the first 9 months, then he went back to work and DD went to daycare. Again, she was raised by me and my DH, not our provider or the center we put her in when she got a little older. She doesn't even remember he caregivers. When DS12 was born he was in daycare for a few hours a day for one month. At that time I was being laid off and DH and I decided I would stay home. But when he was 2 1/2 he was put into pre school, did they raise him? Nope, they taught him and took care of him. I do regret not being able to be there more for my older two boys, but I had no options. But they saw me going to school and working a job and busting my butt to provide for them. These incredible men I raised sew, do laundry, clean and cook. My DS30 wife doesn't cook and she was raised with a SAHM who cooked all the time!! They are wonderful catches!! They are also very appreciative for all that I did and how I did, and appreciative to their late grandmother for all she did. My DS12 is going to middle school in Sept, and I am needed more at home now then when he was an infant! Same with DD17. Do I regret it. On bad days yes. I also gave up a career in IT, one that I went to school for to support my older two boys. I know have a BS degree in CIS, but I don't think I could get many jobs at my age, and with my lack of current technical knowledge. Even getting a part time job where I live is very hard, at least the ones not in retail. Lots of people wanting them. RIght now I am needed here, and most of the time my DH appreciates me at least, he knows he couldn't do it without me, so that is good. But I do worry about retirement since I haven't had a 401k in 12 years. There is nothing wrong with working or staying at home. It is a personal choice and they kids, either way survive very nicely. And to a previous poster, when DS and DIL decide to have kids and decide to ask me to watch them? It will be my honor and pleasure!! ANd nothing wrong with them asking or doing that at all!