Why I Regret Being a Stay-at-Home Mom

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by Luv'sTink, Jun 19, 2013.

  1. Luv'sTink

    Luv'sTink DIS Veteran

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  3. disykat

    disykat DIS Veteran

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    There are regrets enough to go around whatever choice you make. She made some valid points. I stayed home. It has definitely impacted our finances and my career possibilities. I could relate to everything she said. However, I do NOT regret staying home. For me, it was worth it! My guess is that there are lots of working moms who could list things they have regrets about as well, but probably most feel it was worth it also.

    I think it's sad whenever people look back at their lives with regret, but it's not really a SAHM/WOHM thing.

    It also drives me crazy when people think we should limit people's choices after women especially have worked for generations to HAVE choices. SAHM/WOHM, whatever works for your family IS A VALID CHOICE!
     
  4. Poohforyou

    Poohforyou DIS Veteran

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    A daycare doesn't raise children, parents do. I imagine a SAHM has someone else watch her kids on occasion to go to an appointment or just have a few hours of down time. In the big picture it really isn't much different.

    To be honest the woman in the article makes some good points that all parents should consider when making childcare decisions. Pulling out of the workforce to stay home has an upside and a downside just as continuing to work does.
     
  5. PrincessKsMom

    PrincessKsMom <img src=http://photopost.wdwinfo.com/data/500/tlk

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    Hindsight is 20/20. While I knew I would never have the opportunity stay home with my DD and I resented that for a long time, I am glad I came back to work when she was a baby. Getting back into the workforce after many years of being gone is much harder when you haven't kept up on techology or contacts. And while I missed out on every little thing my daughter did when she was young, neither of us regrets that I worked. I was able to give her things and experiences I would have been able to had I stayed home and I never resented giving it all up for her. And now that she'll be leaving for college in a year, where would I be? Most likely jobless with few prospects and stressing my future while hers is just beginning.

    Everyone should do what they feel is best for them and their family. And some should realize how truly fortunate they are that they have the opportunity to make a decision about whether to stay home or not.
     
  6. Luv'sTink

    Luv'sTink DIS Veteran

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    I will respectfully disagree with you. When children are spending more time in daycare than at home, the daycare workers are raising them, when they are very young. I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents.
     
  7. LisaR

    LisaR <img src=http://www.wdwinfo.com/images/silver.jpg>

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    There is a big, crazy world out there with options galore. It is too bad this mom didn't recognize that long before her kids were almost grown and she allowed all of that resentment to build up. It is very clear that she made the wrong decision. For all of her whining about what being a SAHM did to her, I am guessing her resentment also rubbed off on her children. As an adult, she was free to make other choices. She didn't. Oh well.
     
  8. PrincessKsMom

    PrincessKsMom <img src=http://photopost.wdwinfo.com/data/500/tlk

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    And we're off to the Judgmental Races! I'm out.
     
  9. Robinrs

    Robinrs DIS Veteran

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    :lmao: Its not the DIS without it! :rolleyes2
     
  10. Allison

    Allison DIS Veteran

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    Isn't that the truth.
     
  11. mhsjax

    mhsjax DIS Veteran

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    I am not going to get into this debate, but I can guarantee you that I also never got someone to watch my kids for as many hours as they spend in a daycare. They went with me, or stayed home with their father. And I don't consider sleeping as time spent with parents either.
     
  12. Poohforyou

    Poohforyou DIS Veteran

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    Oh yay, a SAHM being judgemental about a working mom :rolleyes2. I didn't see that coming :rolleyes1.

    Since you chose to stay home and never actually experienced daycare you have no 1st hand experience by which to base your oh so misguided opinion. Unless children are sleeping 15+ hours a day they are spending time daily with their parents.
     
  13. soccerdad72

    soccerdad72 DIS Veteran

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    Sounds like your standard article regarding the subject. Not a lot of new ground to be broken on this topic, it seems.
     
  14. ZachnElli

    ZachnElli <font color=green>Is it Spring yet?<br><font color

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    You aren't trying to be respectful with what you said, not even remotely! My mom went back to work when I was a baby and no babysitter I had ever came close to replacing my mom! She (and my dad) raised me and my brother! Your statement is only YOUR opinion and it is not fact. I guess there is one stay at home mom who got bored today! BTW, I'm a SAHM too!
     
  15. Mickey'snewestfan

    Mickey'snewestfan DIS Veteran

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    I've worked in daycare, and continue to work in early childhood education, and I have never encountered a child who spent more hours awake in daycare than they spent awake with parents. Most kids I know who are daycare age are awake about 84 hours a week. Most kids in daycare spend about 30 hours a week there awake, and about 10 asleep.
     
  16. wiigirl

    wiigirl DIS Veteran

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    :rotfl2:
     
  17. EMAW_KSU

    EMAW_KSU DIS Veteran

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    What is the over/under of post before this thread gets closed?
     
  18. Katy Belle

    Katy Belle DIS Veteran

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    In the end of her article, it sounds like she doesn't regret staying home, just wishes she had kept her foot in the working world in some way. Probably not bad advise for women.

    I am a SAHM, have been for 18 years. DH is an accountant and we knew what impact it would have on our finances, he made a spreadsheet for that! I was a teacher, so I wasn't making millions and knew I never would. It probably made the decision to stay home easier.

    I still have kids at home, but at this moment, I do not regret the decision. It was the right decision for my family.

    When I was home with young kids and we were counting every penny, a friend of the family that had recently become a Grandma said the saddest thing to me. She told me that her daughter wanted to stay home with her new baby girl, but just couldn't, because she was paid too well at work and just didn't want to give up the money. She told me that her daughter was making $70,000 and her son in law was making $120,000. This was about 1997. That made me very sad.
     
  19. Conservative Hippie

    Conservative Hippie You seem somewhat familiar. Have I threatened you

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    Oh I have so much to say and none of it would be well-received.

    I'm a SAHM, don't regret it in the slightest. The potential of a second income was never a factor and still isn't. We have a "traditional marriage" and I don't regret that either. SAHM does not = helicopter mom for me, either (I am very "free-range"). I don't think anything I do is "trivial," from my work at church to homeschooling to playing in the backyard. I feel sorry for this woman that she seems to have lost so much of herself.
     
  20. A_Princess'_Daddy

    A_Princess'_Daddy DIS Veteran

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    :thumbsup2 :rotfl2:

    :thumbsup2 :rotfl2:

    :thumbsup2 :rotfl2:

    :thumbsup2 :rotfl2:

    I've never understood how time asleep at a daycare counts as raising a child but time asleep at home doesn't.

    And with that, I bid this thread good day, sir...
     
  21. SLP958

    SLP958 DIS Veteran

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    This is rehashed every couple weeks and always gets nasty.

    Maybe this topic should be banned along with religion and politics.
     

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