Why can't everyone just get along?

[problemchild718]

Wow! I thought it was just me-that I had become cynical with my fellow man. I have taken note of more and more people becoming nasty, self absorbed, short tempered and unhappy. I've seen it on the net and everyday. Its sad. I'm an ER nurse and can't begin to tell you how nasty the families have become. When I'm monitoring, caring for, medicating and wiping your family members butt , I would hope you could try to be decent. Whew!!! I feel better! We can't change the world, but we can change ourselves. I'm going all out to be NICE~~~

 

[crisi]

I don't think it is always unnecessary. Along with the general decline of civility, I think there is also an increase in the belief that support must equal agreeing with someone. Neither extreme is good. People asking for advice are often enabled into poor decisions for "fear of offending." Sometimes the best way to support someone is to point out the obvious. Hugs and pixie dust and "you go for it"s are not always the best way to support someone. Now if some of these ridiculous post where people go on and on about how they can't afford the necessities of life then go on to ask about how to have a 10 day deluxe vacation at WDW were met with deafening silence, that would be one thing. But inevitably the enablers come out of the woodwork and talk about how you only live once, yadda, yadda. Then, lest the OP really think the whole world shares this skewed (and unhelpful) viewpoint, the nay-sayers come out. Things can be phrased more or less delicately, but much is lost in text over speech.

And some people don't respond to gentle supportive advice. Some of us need to be hit upside the head with the clue by four. Who is anyone here to judge what form of advice is going to do the person asking for it the most good? Sometimes someone says something mean, but because it DOES hit home, it causes us to examine ourselves much more closely than all the supportive, nice advice in the world. And you MAY decide that the choice you made originally was INDEED right for you, but the person being mean may have been the catalyst that clarified it.

 

[Doesney]

Kumbi ya my lord, kumbi ya, oh lord, kumbi ya....

 

[Amber74]

I bet you guys are fun at a party!


Don't get mad just having fun with this mess.

 

[Amber74]

Kumbi ya my lord, kumbi ya, oh lord, kumbi ya....

 

[sarahlovesmickey]

 

[jsmla]

Somehow I don't think having my spelling corrected would cause me to suddenly wake up and see things the other person's way. I'm not talking about differences of opinion. It's great to see a subject from all its various sides and angles. I'm talking about comments that have nothing to do with the topic, comments that I can only construe were meant to hurt. Call me crazy but I just don't see how turning nasty enhances any discussion.

As far as the moderators are concerned, I don't envy them one bit. It must be like herding cats around here.

Jennifer

 

[crisi]

Somehow I don't think having my spelling corrected would cause me to suddenly wake up and see things the other person's way. I'm not talking about differences of opinion. It's great to see a subject from all its various sides and angles. I'm talking about comments that have nothing to do with the topic, comments that I can only construe were meant to hurt. Call me crazy but I just don't see how turning nasty enhances any discussion.

As far as the moderators are concerned, I don't envy them one bit. It must be like herding cats around here.

Jennifer

Nope, that's nitpicky nonsense. But if someone is going to get upset about having their spelling corrected, that's a pretty thin skin. As for spelling, "let him without sin cast the first stone" (the spelling add on to Firefox is the best thing that happened to me in the past year).

Although the boat/ship corrections, the Ohana corrections and the Palo corrections have gotten me to be aware of the correct names of those places - does it make me a better person - probably not, but now I refer to them correctly more often than not.

 

[dogluva]

I usually don't reply to the controversial threads, even if I don't agree. But why would anyone to come on a discussion board to say your business when you know your going to get rude comments. You know people are going to stray away from the real topic

It seems like people are having bad attitudes everywhere. I was called a B**ch by some crazy woman at CVS a few weeks ago that was yelling at her daughter to push the cart faster. I didn't say anything to her I just looked her way to make sure I was out of her kid's way and she called me that and said some other rude remarks. You can't even go to the store or leave your house at that if you have awful neighbors, without running into mean people. Geez...

oh, my, that is awful. I can, however, see this happening at a supermarket I shop at. You look at someone too long and you get verbally abused. I have learned not to make any eye contact. Sad really.

 

[jsmla]

It's not the spelling per se. It's the intention behind it that bothers me, the fact that someone wanted to hurt another person. Spelling is just an example. I guess I'm a little sensitive on the subject of board courtesy at the moment. I directed a friend to the DIS and she called me this weekend after receiving several insulting "Duh, Sherlock" type replies to a very innocent question posed by someone completely unfamiliar with WDW, the DIS and message boards in general. I just don't understand why anyone would reply to a post for the sole purpose of insulting someone and without offering any useful information. Somehow I feel fairly confident that my friend wasn't the first person to be frightened off by the snarkiness here and she probably won't be the last.

As for me, my skin is pretty thick. I don't know anyone here and probably never will. If someone can tell me exactly what time the first boat leaves Fort Wilderness for the Magic Kingdom's morning EMH they can feel free to be as mean as they like. They're still my new best friend. But everyone's not the same and I just hate to see anybody miss out on all of the wonderful information available here on the DIS because they can't or don't want to deal with some of the petty sniping that goes on.

JMHO

Jennifer

 

[Reflection]

Because real life isn't a Coke commercial! (you have to be older to understand this)

I'm old enough to join in:

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony....

[more saccharine lyrics]

I'd like to buy the world a coke and keep it company!

 

[bavaria]

Nope, that's nitpicky nonsense. But if someone is going to get upset about having their spelling corrected, that's a pretty thin skin. As for spelling, "let him without sin cast the first stone" (the spelling add on to Firefox is the best thing that happened to me in the past year).

For me spelling becomes an issue as English is not my first language (although many here seem to doubt me when I say that) While I usually write quite well in English, if I am in a non-English speaking country, or thinking/working in German or French, I do struggle to interpret some posts.

There are a few posters who I now avoid as I honestly cannot understand what they are trying to say, and when I have asked for clarification it has been interpreted as snarky. I won't correct spelling so much as ask them to confirm that I am understanding correctly, but some readers find it offensive when I even ask the question.

I also have a very direct posting style, usually devoid of smilies, which simply reflects my German nature. I also tend to post on factual topics rather than those involving emotion.

Personally, I would be very bored with this website if there wasn't animated discussion and even conflict.

 

[bookgirl]

Because real life isn't a Coke commercial! (you have to be older to understand this)

I'd like to buy the world a coke, and keep it company........

 

[Barbers2005]

I'm old enough to join in:

I'd like to teach the world to sing
In perfect harmony....

[more saccharine lyrics]

I'd like to buy the world a coke and keep it company!

I actually have a snowglobe that plays the coke tune...

 

[bookgirl]

Somehow I don't think having my spelling corrected would cause me to suddenly wake up and see things the other person's way. I'm not talking about differences of opinion. It's great to see a subject from all its various sides and angles. I'm talking about comments that have nothing to do with the topic, comments that I can only construe were meant to hurt. Call me crazy but I just don't see how turning nasty enhances any discussion.

As far as the moderators are concerned, I don't envy them one bit. It must be like herding cats around here.

Jennifer

Someone did this to me last week. She didn't agree with me and I had used the words copy write instead of copyright. So she did a post about it. I told her I hoped she felt better and she really showed me.

Really though I don't mind debating but as soon as they do something lame like that I just get the giggles and then I can't even discuss it anymore. As far as mean and nasty it's gotta be the heat or something. I say live and let live and then I just ignore the thread.

 

[crisi]

It's not the spelling per se. It's the intention behind it that bothers me, the fact that someone wanted to hurt another person. Spelling is just an example. I guess I'm a little sensitive on the subject of board courtesy at the moment. I directed a friend to the DIS and she called me this weekend after receiving several insulting "Duh, Sherlock" type replies to a very innocent question posed by someone completely unfamiliar with WDW, the DIS and message boards in general. I just don't understand why anyone would reply to a post for the sole purpose of insulting someone and without offering any useful information. Somehow I feel fairly confident that my friend wasn't the first person to be frightened off by the snarkiness here and she probably won't be the last.

This board - pretty much any forum - isn't the best place for people new to Disney. This is a Disney fan site. Maybe it could be that, but it isn't. (moderators - a "Disney Virgin" board that is heavily moderated and answers the same questions over and over and over again may not be a bad idea). I like Mousesavers and AllEarsNet and the Passporter boards for Disney Virgin questions. I only give people this board if they have questions (and I encourage them to ask me first) and then with the disclaimer that people here are nuts. You are asking this place to be something it isn't. I think you are spitting into the wind, I've been here for something like six years - and I've never seen continual courteous discourse here.

 

[disneyjunkie]

For the most part, spelling errors don't bother me. We all make mistakes.

However, there's one thread here where the spelling errors are just hard to ignore. A few posters are repeatedly spelling the same words wrongs. Posters have suggested (nicely) that they use spell check but they refuse.

 

[jsmla]

In retrospect I guess I used a poor example when I brought up the spelling. Spelling is not the point and I had no idea it was such a hot button issue on the DIS. It was simply something that occurred to me at the moment. The ridiculing of someone's spelling is only one of the many cheap shots I've seen taken here. The way I see it everyone has strengths and weaknesses. For some of us spelling doesn't happen to be our strongest suit. We all have different backgrounds, priorities and educations. The fact that someone will never win a national spelling bee doesn't negate everything they have to say on any subject except, perhaps, orthography. I just don't like it when, in the course of a disagreement, one person chooses to attack another's spelling (grammar, fashion sense, taste in music, whatever) rather than stick to the subject. And I do mean attack, not simply ask for clarification. (I consider it an attack when a critique of spelling, grammar, fashion or whatever is followed by any of these: , , .) IMHO that's hitting below the belt. I'm just grateful nobody has ever checked my arithmetic.

I do agree that there are better boards for newcomers, but I think that is a shame. The information available here can't be beat. It's a pity that many of the very people who could most benefit from the DIS find themselves unable to do so because of the adolescent cliquishness and one-upmanship that goes on here at times. I spend a great deal of time on travel boards and I've never seen one where the members are quite so eager to put each other down. I just don't see what's so wrong with treating each other with courtesy and civility even when we disagree.

JMHO

Jennifer

 

[BethR]

As far as the moderators are concerned, I don't envy them one bit. It must be like herding cats around here.

Sometimes I feel like I have HUNDREDS of children, rather than just four.

 

[Sethsmom]

Sometimes I feel like I have HUNDREDS of children, rather than just four.

And you do a fantastic job taking care of all us fighting preschoolers.