who pays for prom?

[lauradis]

but I never met with the boy nor the girl friend.

Im still stuck on this. Maybe im a noisy mom, but I like to know as many friends as I can.

If she asked him then I guess she pays for the tickets. Everyone pays for their own cloths, and who's driving??? limo are normal split here by all riders.

 

[mjkacmom]

but I never met with the boy nor the girl friend.

Im still stuck on this. Maybe im a noisy mom, but I like to know as many friends as I can.

If she asked him then I guess she pays for the tickets. Everyone pays for their own cloths, and who's driving??? limo are normal split here by all riders.

Ds17 started dating his formal date in January, and I met her for the first time the night of the formal (she and her parents came here for some pictures, and then we all went to another house for some more). I had met her dad before (holds a public position in town), and dd18 knows her, and lots of my friends know her.

She's very pretty, and from what I hear, nice, smart, and a great softball player! Our house doesn't offer up a lot of privacy, and can be hectic. I don't need to meet the people my kids are dating, as long as I can get the low-down on them. Same with friends. Fortunately, I have a very large circle of friends, and everyone knows everyone.

 

[3MFamily]

My DD took someone from another school, just a friend. Bids were over $100 each and she paid for both even though he was willing to pay for his bid.

She paid for pictures, he did flowers/lei and his tux.

It's really the girl things that can be costly (dress, hair, make up, nails) if you chose to go that route.

We met the boy previously and thankfully he was fine when all the grandparents and family descended upon the house for pictures!

 

[yitbos96bb]

I am just trying to figure out what is the right way to do....At this time, I am not involved, but if I have to pay I am okay.....


DD likes to go to junior prom but does not have a boy friend, her girl friend set her up with a boy from a different school and they met once. According to the girl friend this boy went to prom with 2 different girls already.... the girl friend is also planning to ask another boy to go to prom with her...on a snapchat, she asked the boy whether he would go to prom with DD, he said "sure"...

I asked DD how much is the prom, she said $85, I asked who will pay for the boy going, she told me according to her girl friend, the boy will be paying.....

I am thinking how can the boy's family be paying for their son going to proms with different girls...I really don't mind paying (I knew the boy's family can afford, but is it fair?), but I never met with the boy nor the girl friend...I don't want to make a big deal to ask to meet with the boy, it is not like they are boy friend or girl friend...

My question is do the boys normally pay for themselves even if the girls ask them to go to prom?

Times change but my junior year I went with a friend and we split most of the costs. That seems the fairest way, but many are still traditional and the guy wants to pay. Probably the most polite thing is fur your daughter to make the offer to pay for some costs... If she is turned down, then she made the effort.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

This is one of those -it depends on where you live things, I think.

I think your DD should pay since it's her school and she'll have to fill out the forms and pay for it.

I don't understand why she'd take a 'stranger' though. Especially one that she didn't contact herself. Most kids in our area that don't have a date, pal up with some friends and go together. I think taking someone you don't know well is going to end up in night that wasn't what she wanted.

Actually, my son has gone/is going to stranger's proms on blind dates twice! He goes to an all boys school. His prom is a joint prom with the sister all girls school. He has gone to his own prom twice. This year he took a good friend. He paid for dinner, and she paid for prom tickets. He was going to pay for everything b/c he asked her, but she wanted to split it.

His junior year, a mom at another all girls school contacted a mom at DS's school and asked if a group of boys would be willing to take a group of senior girls who didn't have dates to their prom. The boys said yes, met the girls for pictures, decided then and there who would go with whom, and off they went. The prom included a sit down dinner and dance. Afterwards they all went back to one girl's house for pizza and a movie. DS said it was a blast, and he's still friends with that group of girls. In that case, he rented a tux and paid for a flower, but she paid for the prom & dinner tickets.

Next week, DS will double date with one of his best friends who moved 3 hours away. Best friend asked DS to take his girlfriend's best friend b/c she didn't have a date. DS is really looking forward to it. He'll rent the tux and pay for the flower. His date will pay for the tickets. Not sure about dinner. DS is a gentleman and knows how to be a good date. And he looks so handsome in a tuxedo. His blind date is a lucky girl.

 

[Mrs. Ciz]

Times change but my junior year I went with a friend and we split most of the costs. That seems the fairest way, but many are still traditional and the guy wants to pay. Probably the most polite thing is fur your daughter to make the offer to pay for some costs... If she is turned down, then she made the effort.

By the way...you GIF at the bottom of your page is SPECTACULAR!!!

 

[oneandonlytara]

It's been over 10 years since I was a senior in high school, but the "rule" amongst students was that if they brought a date from a different school, they'd pay for the both of them to attend. If it was a couple from the same school then they'd decide if they'd pay separately or whatever.

I didn't have a date either. I went with my best friend (who also went to my school) who didn't have a date either. We sat at a table with some friends. Once dinner was over, everyone kind of split up anyway. The food was so-so, as was the dj. I think we paid $60 for our tickets and it included dinner and a small photo album etched with the year and name of the theme, "a night in paradise" or something, I can't even remember.

At the end of the night, my parents picked us up (we couldn't rent a limo, I'm in a wheelchair, and the cab we arranged to pick us up was late and we had to be there at a certain time, so my parents just drove us) and we went through the McDonald's drive through in our dresses, went back to my parent's place and had a sleepover. We still talk about it, and my best friend has a picture of us eating our late night snack framed and sitting in her house. We also still talk about how we still think the whole prom experience is overrated. Both of us weren't very popular, so we didn't get invited to the huge after prom party that was being thrown at one of our classmate's parent's farm that most of the seniors were going to, but we both made the best out of the evening.

 

[angierae]

DD's prom, the tickets were sold individually, so she paid for her ticket and her date paid for his. (Dinner was included)

 

[WiscMomof2]

DD's boyfriend came to her school for junior prom this year. Since it was 'her school' she felt funny having him pay for both tickets so they split the cost. Last year they went to his school (he is a year older) and he paid for both. It sounds like pretty much anything goes at this point. Times have changed since I was in HS!

 

[kathy884]

I would have your daughter talk to the guy and offer to pay all or pay half, as it's her prom and she in around about way is the one doing the asking. See what the guy thinks. Lots of guys want to pay half and I think that would be very reasonable. I agree with you though that his paying for the whole thing doesn't seem right in this situation.

 

[HopperFan]

So interesting to hear all the different prom "rules", prices, etc. No sure any of us can be of any help in your decision and my only thought is not knowing the boy or the girl or the transportation - I probably would be that Mom who didn't let her go.

My DS went to both his Jr and Sr prom, my DD graduated early so only went once. He paid most his first time and split the second. My DD paid her whole way even though she had BF. His Mom was distraught but I told her DD is independent and feels strongly about being an independent woman. I am all for everyone pays their own way, around here the average combined cost for a couple runs around $1200-1500 and I think it's insane!! NOTE: We did not spend anywhere near that - something DS first date wasn't happy about and almost didn't go a week out (would have made my day) but of course she wasn't going to sit home.

 

[NewmanFamily6]

When my sons are old enough to go then they will pay. I can't imagine sending my sons on a big date like someone's prom and not paying for the date. Even if the girl is just a friend. Maybe not popular but it's how we will do it.

 

[AnnaS]

Student pays here for prom tickets/expense for Junior and Senior prom. As someone said, if they are both from the same school/class - they can pay for their own ticket but once one does the invite - outside of school, etc. - the person inviting pays for everything - except tuxedo/dress. Here - they pay for the prom/dinner, limo, evening event after the prom dinner, and many go away for the weekend. Again, the person who does the invite covers these expenses (at least here and 99% of the time). As long as they talk it over and everyone understands what is expected of them, it really does not matter.

 

[powellrj]

My DS was asked when he was a freshman to take a girl from church who didn't have a date. She was a senior and he was a freshman so I said he could go. I expected to pay half, but her mother told her that the boy always pays and it was expected that he pay for everything. He was 14 at the time and had no job, so we paid and she drove. We rented a tux, they went to dinner and then prom and then came home and didn't attend after prom.

That was the last year this happened. The other years he went with friends and everything as split 50/50.

DD went 3 years and we also split everything 50/50.

While my kids never went with actual dates, they were more just a group of friends, in this day and age, even if they had gone with dates, I would have expected to pay 50/50. Thats too much money to expect a boy to come up with.

 

[kymom99]

Student pays here for prom tickets/expense for Junior and Senior prom. As someone said, if they are both from the same school/class - they can pay for their own ticket but once one does the invite - outside of school, etc. - the person inviting pays for everything - except tuxedo/dress. Here - they pay for the prom/dinner, limo, evening event after the prom dinner, and many go away for the weekend. Again, the person who does the invite covers these expenses (at least here and 99% of the time). As long as they talk it over and everyone understands what is expected of them, it really does not matter.

Go away for the weekend? What do you mean?

 

[tnklvr]

My DS was already graduated when his gf asked him to senior prom. She refused to pay for the tickets so DS had to show up after school for her to take him to where they were selling tickets to pay for them. Sadly, DS was unemployed at the time so the whole prom was on me. I bought him the tux because I found it cheaper on overstock than it cost to rent one. I think it should be whoever asks or whoever goes to school there pays. If they both go there then 50/50 unless they are dating and it is both their prom the boy pays. It only makes sense. Then the boy can pay for dinner or half it if they are just friends. Here I don't think anyone got a limo they all just drove their own cars or parents car.

 

[tnklvr]

My DD took someone from another school, just a friend. Bids were over $100 each and she paid for both even though he was willing to pay for his bid.

She paid for pictures, he did flowers/lei and his tux.

It's really the girl things that can be costly (dress, hair, make up, nails) if you chose to go that route.

We met the boy previously and thankfully he was fine when all the grandparents and family descended upon the house for pictures!

Believe me it is just as costly for the boys if not more. To rent a tux here it is like $150. I bought my sons tux for $125, then there is the tie and vest, shoes and mens are not cheap, haircut if needed, girls flowers are way more costly than the boys, dinner and tickets if he is paying. My son's date bought her dress second hand for $25 and it was beautiful, paid for an updo, and did her own nails. Believe me it was many times that cost for my son.

 

[AnnaS]

Many go down to the Jersey Shore for the weekend. Some rent a house, contribute to food, etc. Some just go to the city to another restaurant and stay overnight in the city (NYC). I was happy my daughter had no interest in going to her Junior Prom (not as elaborate except for dress lol). Senior prom is $$$.

 

[3MFamily]

Believe me it is just as costly for the boys if not more. To rent a tux here it is like $150. I bought my sons tux for $125, then there is the tie and vest, shoes and mens are not cheap, haircut if needed, girls flowers are way more costly than the boys, dinner and tickets if he is paying. My son's date bought her dress second hand for $25 and it was beautiful, paid for an updo, and did her own nails. Believe me it was many times that cost for my son.

That is very true about the tux! Look for coupon deals and book early for boys.

Prom is expensive in general so it's great when girls find a deal on gowns. There is a wonderful nonprofit here that collects gently used/new gowns and gives girls an opportunity to get a beautiful dress for free!

My oldest used younger sister's winterball shoes. It wasn't a perfect match, but close enough considering the heels were hidden by the dress the entire time.

A lot of girls do DIY, which also helps the cost of prom. Bouquet and boutonniere were made by the parents of DD's date.

Still, it adds up. My DD did a garage sale to help with the cost of prom and all other senior expenses.

 

[mjkacmom]

Go away for the weekend? What do you mean?

Here it's very traditional for the kids to rent houses down the shore prom weekend - has been for decades.