When to make unwilling kid ride?

[chainkid]

I have seen this from both sides as I'm a big fraidy cat and never went on anything until I got married to a daredevil. I was forced to confront my fears by my husband and now I zipline, hot air balloon, ski, all roller coasters except the kind that give me motion sickness. Do I wish my parents had pushed me more you bet. I missed out on a lot of fun . My girlfriend's son has been to Disney every year since he was born but would never ride a roller coaster of any kind with his daredevil sister. He went with us and my son called him every name in the book to get him to ride with him and he did. Well he was 14 at the time and he had the time of his life and now rides all the time. He was afraid of the water until we made him learn how to swim. His mother could not believe it. However with very young children I would be far more cautious as they can't always process their fears in a way to understand them. I would rather find something they enjoy and introduce a little at a time or when they are ready. When they are older then I would probably try to bribe them into trying it once.

 

[kaybird]

I know the popular answer is never, but once my kids were old/tall enough for the rides, we all go. I don't think it helps to further a child's belief that as a parent I would place them in danger, or that something might harm them. Like a PP, everyone rides everything at least once, then if they simply don't care for it, they do not have to re-ride it. FYI, this also applies to "kiddie" rides. No one is to cool or grown up to ride, it's everyone's vacation, and we participate in EVERYONE's favorites!! It is natural to be afraid of something new, like riding a bike.

( For the slew of upcoming responses, this applies to my family. I don't pretend to know what health or emotional issues there may be for others.)

 

[merrick]

Obviously, every kid is different. If the kid is generally willing to try new things and still refuses to ride, I would be less inclined to get them to try it. If the kid is traditionally timid about most things, I'd probably push the issue more.

It is important that your children trust you. When they trust that you will keep them safe and tell them the truth, they are more prepared and have the confidence to try new things.

i agree with both these comments... DS will climb a tree, skateboard, waterski and plays a *fierce* game of soccer. he wants to do that "fake skydiving" for his 10th birthday (i have mentioned it may not be the best idea if he doesn't like the "ride" experience but to him it's totally different). it doesn't matter to me if he does a ride or not, just want to ensure we give him info so he can make the best decision for him, i want him to have fun. i was not the kid to *force* to do anything, so would feel like a hypocrite!

i bolted off mission mars (that thing with gary sinese) at epcot... during the prep they kept going on about how it's not for people who are claustrophobic. each time they repeated it, i started to feel more and more claustrophobic.... as i climbed into the capsule they mentioned it ONE MORE TIME, i sat down for 3.5 seconds and lunged out the other side!! i have also bolted out of a too-full elevator in montreal last summer... that is my kryptonite!

 

[White Rose]

Never force. Encourage, discuss, let the child make their own decision. My middle nephew is afraid of ToT and he decided on his own he will ride it and everything else he said no to on a previous trip...he might change his mind but it is always his choice!

 

[ReneeA]

We have a rule in our house - you try everything before you claim not to like it. That goes for food - eat what you are served because you're not getting anything else, and rides. No whining until you've tried it at least once, but realistically more than once. My kids were both on ToT when they were 3. We worked our way up to it, but they both did fine and weren't traumatized by it.

I want my kids to grow up to be confident and assertive, and having them try things out of their comfort zone is a great way to expand their horizons.

 

[wddub2015]

Never

 

[Pageantprincess]

Never force. Encourage, discuss, let the child make their own decision. My middle nephew is afraid of ToT and he decided on his own he will ride it and everything else he said no to on a previous trip...he might change his mind but it is always his choice!

I agree. I wouldn't want to cause my child to resent me or create a bad memory of our dream vacation. Mine have tried more daring rides when they were ready. Now they ride everything. No fear.

 

[LoKiHB]

My oldest (9), is a bit of a fake bravado. He talks a HUGE game, then chickens out at the last minute. He got a little skittish on Space Mountain right before we got on, but loved it. EE was another story. For 2 months before our trip he told anyone that would listen he was going on it. we got to AK, he was all about it. Took his picture in front. We went through the line, and right as we were getting up front, he started to have doubts. I asked him if he was sure, he was good. we sat down, and they put the bar down. That's when he said he didn't think he wanted to do it... too late!!! We rode, he survived, he was nauseous for about 20 minutes after. Ask him now, and he will tell you in no uncertain terms that he will NOT ride EE again.

We are taking our 3 1/2 year old for his first trip where he will be able to ride almost everything next month, so I'm a little nervous that there may be lines we'll have to leave. I will never force my kids to ride anything, but I will try and explain what the ride does and how it works if they are building it up too much in their own heads. However, you know your kids better than anyone, and you know what they will love and hate, so encourage them if you think it'll be ok, but ultimately let them make their own decisions.

Forcing the one ride because you don't want to ruin your plans, could end up being the one thing that ruins your day.

 

[goofy4tink]

I know my child very well. I know what she's afraid of and what she will enjoy. So....back in '99, our first trip to WDW, she was 5, turned 6 on the trip. We headed to DHS (then MGM) and went to StarTours. I knew what it was going to be like, but dd was terrified!!! I mean, seriously terrified. She screamed and cried the entire time we were in line. I kept telling her that she was going to like it and that I wouldn't 'make' her do anything I thought she wouldn't like. People were staring at us....I'm sure some wanted to call child protective services!!! But they didn't want to lose their place in line. So....long story short? We rode it, got off, and dd's comment was 'Can we do it again, right now??? Please!!!!!'.
Then, a few years later, I forced her to ride TT. Dh was with me that time...he was horrified as our poor child sobbed quietly. At least she was quiet this time....age 8. Well, as we got off and were walking away, she turned to the left and said 'I'm doing it again. That was awesome!!'

Of course, there was the ToT issue. I didn't want to force her to ride that...didn't want any elevator issues. She finally rode it and it was okay. So, we did it again a year or so later. Got a hugely horrific sequence!!!! OMG....she was terrified. It took about 4 years for her to work up the courage to go on it again. Now, you can't get her off it. She has turned into a thrill ride junkie.

 

[annadreamsofdisneyworld]

When my little brother was 4 he loves Pirates of the Caribbean. When we returned to Disney later when he was 6 he didn't want to ride. He was crying and saying he was scared. My parents made him go because he liked it when he was younger, so they knew he could handle it. He went on and ended up loving it again!

 

[dlavender]

ne of my first Disney memories was being 7 and having a meltdown because I thought my parents tricked me into riding Space Mountain when the People Mover went inside.

I have the same exact memory, except it was my older cousin telling me that I was tricked and to get ready for Space Mountain when we went into the tunnel! I was terrified.

 

[BarbieGal457]

As a child (and still today) I dealt with horrible anxiety and was extremely hesitant to ride certain rides. My parents never once forced me to ride anything when I was unwilling, and I cannot tell you how much I appreciate that. They respected the fact that I was not ready and instead of forcing me they made sure I knew it was okay to not do a ride and we would find something else fun to do. They let me get in line so many times just to get out again, but they never made me feel like I was being a burden and always encouraged me to keep trying "but it's okay if you need to wait longer." My parents always encouraged me and did push me to do things I may have been a bit timid or nervous about, but when they knew I was very anxious, especially with rides, they never once forced me to do it because they thought I would like it. That's a recipe for disaster. I could never force my sobbing child on a ride because I think they would like it. They might....or they might also be really angry with me and not trust me for things like that in the future. When I see clearly very terrified kids being forced on rides I just feel awful for them.

Because my family was always truthful with me about rides, as I built up courage as a kid I knew I could trust them to tell me what they thought I would really like, and what I maybe wasn't ready for, and honestly it worked out great. I got up courage to ride things that still gave me the anxiety butterflies, but I also knew it was still okay for me to back out on others. Heck, I just rode Splash for the first time ever this past NYE - it took OVER TWENTY YEARS for me to do it! I first tried at age 5....I finally rode at age 26. I'm proud I finally did it, but that may be the only time ever...and if they had made me do it as a kid I would've been scarred for life probably! By the same token, when I was little I was anxious about HM but still interested and my grandma told me all about it, as this was the days before YouTube (mid 90s haha) and I rode it....and LOVED IT and forced them to take me 6 more times that day. I appreciate that they encouraged me when they saw I was anxious but still interested and just needed that extra reassurance, but that they also didn't drag me screaming to Splash when I was truly terrified.

To this day when I go to amusement parks/Disney with friends and family, if they are apprehensive about a ride I describe it in great detail or show them a video if I can. If it's still too much, I always offer (with a smile, too) to get out of line with them and we can go find something else fun to do! They have always told me to go ahead and ride and have waited for me at the exit, and tell me how much they appreciate that I don't make them feel pressured to ride or silly for choosing to sit out. In the end, everyone is happier and no one is upset for the rest of the day - or longer!

 

[lorenae]

I was in line for the "Alien Encounter" show back in 2003, with my DD13, and my DS10 went in once, and didn't want to do it again. So, he was waiting with us, but skipping going on.

Anyway, my DD was talking about how it was ok to skip it if he thought it was scary. A small child looked up at his dad, next to us, and said something like, "Dad, I don't want to go in!" and the dad said, "Oh, it's not scary", shushed the child and sort of rolled his eyes.

Now, that was in 2003, and I still remember it. That ride/show was scary, even to me. The small kids in there were screaming, and some were crying. I loved it, even though it was realistic and scary, as did my DD, but I think telling a child that something "isn't scary" because they think the child can handle it is wrong.

I'm sort of struggling through that now, since my GS5 is going with me in November for our first trip together (just the two of us). I think I'll show him videos of HM, but not force him to try it. I will tell him it's pretend scary, and lots of fun, but not force him. I will do the same for other things like ToT. I'll leave it up to him.

 

[dlavender]

I was in line for the "Alien Encounter" show back in 2003, with my DD13, and my DS10 went in once, and didn't want to do it again. So, he was waiting with us, but skipping going on.

Anyway, my DD was talking about how it was ok to skip it if he thought it was scary. A small child looked up at his dad, next to us, and said something like, "Dad, I don't want to go in!" and the dad said, "Oh, it's not scary", shushed the child and sort of rolled his eyes.

Now, that was in 2003, and I still remember it. That ride/show was scary, even to me. The small kids in there were screaming, and some were crying. I loved it, even though it was realistic and scary, as did my DD, but I think telling a child that something "isn't scary" because they think the child can handle it is wrong.

I'm sort of struggling through that now, since my GS5 is going with me in November for our first trip together (just the two of us). I think I'll show him videos of HM, but not force him to try it. I will tell him it's pretend scary, and lots of fun, but not force him. I will do the same for other things like ToT. I'll leave it up to him.

A few years back, we took DD 5 on this ride. I feel terrible as I mislead her, telling her exactly as that dad did. She was terrified the whole time, and it took about an hour for her to recover. Never would I do that again. I still feel pretty badly about it.....

 

[MrsJamesPSullivan]

Never. I'm 52 and there are things I just don't want to ride. I respected the facts that my kids felt the same. Sometimes it's just not the bright day for something.

 

[gwynne]

Never. I'm 52 and there are things I just don't want to ride. I respected the facts that my kids felt the same. Sometimes it's just not the right day for something.

Yup. I totally agree. We left it up to our kids, no big deal either way. It was OK for them to ride what they would like on that day, or not. We didn't do a lot of discussing beforehand, either. It worked out well for our family, I am so glad we handled it this way.

 

[mom4fun]

Never force a kid to ride. They will ride when they are ready. I was that kid and even as I got to be a teenager and would force myself to ride rollercoasters because I wanted to be like everyone else, I discovered I hated the feeling of falling. Now I do ride most rides at Disney World but still can't handle the more extreme rides. There is nothing worse than being a child and someone trying to force you to do something you are afraid of, I don't care if it's Winnie-the-Pooh ride. To encourage and explain is ok but never force. It should ultimately be their decision.

 

[lustergirl]

Never

winner winner chicken dinner

 

[bpadair32]

I would never make my kid get on a ride if they were unwilling. If they were nervous or unsure, I would try to calm them down and encourage them. But make them ride something if they really don't want to, not going to happen. The vacation is more about the kids than it is about me, and I want them to have a good time. I can't imagine dragging them on something for them to have a crying fit/meltdown and being upset on their vacation just because I wanted to go on something.

 

[Dominion]

I had to force my 3.5 year old to go on a few rides last time. Otherwise our entire trip would have been spent on the carousel!! She's timid and nervous about the unknown. So I was *that* parent that took her screaming onto Peter Pan. She loved it. Immediately wanted to do it again! Same thing for Mermaid and small world. After those three she understood but I knew her limits. No coasters and nothing truly scary like HM. I think it really depends on the kid.

On the other hand, I'll be on the lookout for someone to take my 7 year old on Space next week!!