When does being frugal become unethical?

[SMD]

I wasn't expecting the OP to have the examples it did. Clearly, that stuff is wrong is not illegal.

Returning items to a store where they were not purchased is stealing.

 

[MomToOne]

So it's ok to give your kids sink water instead of cold clean water.

The water coming out of a bathroom faucet is the same water that comes out of your kitchen faucet. IT IS CLEAN. It is properly filtered by the city/county/whatever and meets stringent safety standards. Not sure what exactly why you think it's not clean, other than you've bought into the bottled/filtered water hype in this country. And the water bottle they were using may have been just purchased that morning, in which case it would have been just as fine to use bacteria-wise as a standard reusable water bottle.

 

[Lehuaann]

Op, if what you say about your former friend is true (obviously I don't know either you or her, so I'm basing my opinion off what you are saying), then there's more to her than just trying to be frugal. She is committing fraudulent criminal behavior.

For whatever reason, some people sear their minds into condoning their actions. And the more they do it; the easier it gets. However, life has a way of eventually catching up with them. Does that make them "no good?" I couldn't say that...and agree with @Marionnette that I hope your ex-friend has some redeeming qualities to change her life around.

To answer your question - I don't care for some of the allowed frugal threads across these boards, if that tells you anything about the extent of my frugalness. Don't get me wrong, I love to save money, but you have to be careful that the pursuit doesn't take you down roads you didn't intend to go...

 

[Ngwira]

I wasn't expecting the OP to have the examples it did. Clearly, that stuff is wrong is not illegal.

I was actually going to share about a local 'frugal' person who was doing a segment on the news with clever tips to save money (groceries, household, etc). The first time I saw her segment she advised taking scissors into the grocery store and cutting the stem part off the bananas you're buying so you don't pay for those. I'm not sure that it was wrong, but it definitely feels like it to me, so I never watched any more of her tips and certainly did not take her advice.

This is puzzling. What does cutting off the stem of the banana do?

 

[Ngwira]

Op, if what you say about your former friend is true (obviously I don't know either you or her, so I'm basing my opinion off what you are saying), then there's more to her than just trying to be frugal. She is committing fraudulent criminal behavior.

For whatever reason, some people sear their minds into condoning their actions. And the more they do it; the easier it gets. However, life has a way of eventually catching up with them. Does that make them "no good?" I couldn't say that...and agree with @Marionnette that I hope your ex-friend has some redeeming qualities to change her life around.

To answer your question - I don't care for some of the allowed frugal threads across these boards, if that tells you anything about the extent of my frugalness. Don't get me wrong, I love to save money, but you have to be careful that the pursuit doesn't take you down roads you didn't intend to go...

It absolutely catches up to them. Her life is a MESS..and I believe it has something to do with the way she lives it. You can't expect good things to come your way when you are conniving, scheming and downright dishonest. Call it God, karma or the universe, it comes back to you.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

This is puzzling. What does cutting off the stem of the banana do?

Lowers the weight so you pay less.

I saw someone on another message board that cuts the ends off of the asparagus and broccoli before purchasing. That thread was a huge uproar.

 

[Ngwira]

Wo

Lowers the weight so you pay less.

I saw someone on another message board that cuts the ends off of the asparagus and broccoli before purchasing. That thread was a huge uproar.

Wow, I didn't even know you could do that! Maybe that's why many stores now charge for s single banana instead of by weight.

 

[samsteele]

This is puzzling. What does cutting off the stem of the banana do?

Reduces the weight that you pay for when you buy the bananas. Pay by the pound/kilo.
While people can really push the envelope, it is truly unethical IMHO when we cut corners to such an extent that it jeopardizes the health & safety of our children or young people in our care. eg eating out at McD's for dinner 4 or 5 x a week and getting the dollar burgers and kids' specials with coke because it is less $ and less work than making a tuna sandwich and mashed potatos or baked potatos with a glass of milk. Sad but true.

 

[Ngwira]

Reduces the weight that you pay for when you buy the bananas. Pay by the pound/kilo.
While people can really push the envelope, it is truly unethical IMHO when we cut corners to such an extent that it jeopardizes the health & safety of our children or young people in our care. eg eating out at McD's for dinner 4 or 5 x a week and getting the dollar burgers and kids' specials with coke because it is less $ and less work than making a tuna sandwich and mashed potatos or baked potatos with a glass of milk. Sad but true.

I agree with you that this is not ideal, but unethical? Not in my eyes. Some people literally work 12 hours a day. Some people don't know how to cook. At least the kids are getting food to eat, although it's far from healthy. I'd rather someone feed their kids fast food than no food at all.

 

[hsmamato2]

How does op's example compare to refilling an empty water bottle at a tap? Op,your pal wasn't being frugal,they were being cheaters and dishonest,actually stealing what wasn't theirs. Tap water from a bathroom sink....cheapo(my dh does that,i don't) but not unethical. I will drink disney tapwater without issue,and tap water is tapwater.

 

[LONES]

What this woman does is clearly unethical, and some of it illegal. I know someone that does things that are not necessarily unethical, but I do find them very off-putting. She brags quite often about the freebies she gets through e-mail complaints to companies.
For example, if she opens up a can of corn and there are a couple of brown kernals.... she will send an e-mail to the company expressing her complete shock and disappointment that a brand she has been so loyal to for so many years would package an inferior product. This normally results in the company apologizing profusely, and sending her coupons for a number of free cans of corn in an effort to "win back her trust and confidence" in their product.
She will do the same thing with restaurants. She will send off an e-mail explaining the whole story of how when they dined there on Tuesday night, her husband's steak that he ordered "medium" was clearly "medium rare". Although the waitress did bring the steak back to the kitchen and rectified the situation, her food got cold waiting for his to come back, and he felt bad that she had to wait. Of course, this resulted in their entire evening being ruined. This usually results in a $50.00 gift card "to please come give us another chance".
Although she doesn't make up these situations... I just find it off-putting to always try to get something out of it.

 

[LJSquishy]

That is fraud, not being frugal.

I am frugal in truly frugal ways, such as: making and freezing my own vegetable stock from organic vegetable scraps, making 'Lara Bars' from scratch, using less washing machine detergent, washing and reusing Ziplock bags (as long as they did not contain raw meat), using a reusable water bottle, eating lots of little leftovers to make a full meal rather than throw out any food. We only go to the movie theatre when we have gift cards from gifts others have given us. We don't do a lot of "extras" in life like take little weekend trips, golf, bowling, dine out, etc. I also pick raspberries at my in-laws' house and freeze them to use throughout the year.

I am not frugal in certain other ways, especially when it comes to food. I'm very firm on eating as much organic produce as possible...95% of the time if the organic version is not available, I'll just go without. Our diet is very important to us so if we need to spend more on food, we do. My husband buys very expensive dress shoes so that is something else we're not frugal with...however, I almost never buy a clothing item/shoes/jewelry/makeup for myself (this year I had to buy a whole new wardrobe because I lost 35lbs, but aside from that I hadn't purchased anything for myself in several years) since I'm a housewife. It'd be nice to buy some nice clothes for myself, but our budget doesn't really allow for that very often since we put quality food ahead of that and my husband's work attire takes priority.

 

[fbb]

Yes she is stealing, but the question is a good one. How far would most people go? When I go to a fast food restaurant with my son that has unlimited refills of soda I will only buy one soda rather than pay $2 for another cup. When he is done with his Sprite I'll go back and fill it up with Coke. I also will buy him a kids meal at restaurants even though he is older than the age limit listed.

My years of reading the board have educated me on this one.

Doing this to save for Disney: frugal.
Doing this at Disney: unethical.

 

[worm761]

What this woman does is clearly unethical, and some of it illegal. I know someone that does things that are not necessarily unethical, but I do find them very off-putting. She brags quite often about the freebies she gets through e-mail complaints to companies.
For example, if she opens up a can of corn and there are a couple of brown kernals.... she will send an e-mail to the company expressing her complete shock and disappointment that a brand she has been so loyal to for so many years would package an inferior product. This normally results in the company apologizing profusely, and sending her coupons for a number of free cans of corn in an effort to "win back her trust and confidence" in their product.
She will do the same thing with restaurants. She will send off an e-mail explaining the whole story of how when they dined there on Tuesday night, her husband's steak that he ordered "medium" was clearly "medium rare". Although the waitress did bring the steak back to the kitchen and rectified the situation, her food got cold waiting for his to come back, and he felt bad that she had to wait. Of course, this resulted in their entire evening being ruined. This usually results in a $50.00 gift card "to please come give us another chance".
Although she doesn't make up these situations... I just find it off-putting to always try to get something out of it.

Is she doing it with the intent to get something free? I like those Cool Gear cups with the gel in them that you freeze. We have several and buy new colors when they come out. We host a lot and it's Florida so keeping your drinks cold for as long as possible is a good thing. Well, I have gone through a few of them. DS didn't think and put one in the dishwasher. I have dropped a few. And our first set we figured out that you need to freeze them upside down or they crack. But when I bought new ones last year and went through 3 of them doing everything the right way, I was very unhappy. And I did email them. I don't usually but like I said, I like their product and was very disappointed that they lowered their quality so much. They emailed me back and sent replacements to me in the colors of my choice. I still have and use them. I don't feel what I did was unethical. I wasn't looking for anything free. I was complaining because something I liked seemed to have dropped in quality. Must have been my Target got a bad shipment or something because the replacements are still fine.

 

[Ngwira]

What this woman does is clearly unethical, and some of it illegal. I know someone that does things that are not necessarily unethical, but I do find them very off-putting. She brags quite often about the freebies she gets through e-mail complaints to companies.
For example, if she opens up a can of corn and there are a couple of brown kernals.... she will send an e-mail to the company expressing her complete shock and disappointment that a brand she has been so loyal to for so many years would package an inferior product. This normally results in the company apologizing profusely, and sending her coupons for a number of free cans of corn in an effort to "win back her trust and confidence" in their product.
She will do the same thing with restaurants. She will send off an e-mail explaining the whole story of how when they dined there on Tuesday night, her husband's steak that he ordered "medium" was clearly "medium rare". Although the waitress did bring the steak back to the kitchen and rectified the situation, her food got cold waiting for his to come back, and he felt bad that she had to wait. Of course, this resulted in their entire evening being ruined. This usually results in a $50.00 gift card "to please come give us another chance".
Although she doesn't make up these situations... I just find it off-putting to always try to get something out of it.

Is she doing it with the intent to get something free? I like those Cool Gear cups with the gel in them that you freeze. We have several and buy new colors when they come out. We host a lot and it's Florida so keeping your drinks cold for as long as possible is a good thing. Well, I have gone through a few of them. DS didn't think and put one in the dishwasher. I have dropped a few. And our first set we figured out that you need to freeze them upside down or they crack. But when I bought new ones last year and went through 3 of them doing everything the right way, I was very unhappy. And I did email them. I don't usually but like I said, I like their product and was very disappointed that they lowered their quality so much. They emailed me back and sent replacements to me in the colors of my choice. I still have and use them. I don't feel what I did was unethical. I wasn't looking for anything free. I was complaining because something I liked seemed to have dropped in quality. Must have been my Target got a bad shipment or something because the replacements are still fine.

She is gaming the system..you are not.

 

[Ngwira]

My years of reading the board have educated me on this one.

Doing this to save for Disney: frugal.
Doing this at Disney: unethical.

Why the distinction?

 

[bdcp]

This is flat out stealing, not being "frugal". The individual is breaking the law. Making a fake ID may be a felony considering it's being used to create a fake residency in another state. I would never, ever do any of these things (or anything like it). Going to Disney is not a right. If you can't afford it, you don't go. There were many years we had either no vacation or a shortened, less expensive one because we couldn't afford it. I can't believe that anyone would even begin to defend this behavior. I also can't believe the things people do to save a few pennies.

Being frugal is being careful with the money you have, finding good deals, going without. Nothing she does is frugal.

 

[kaytieeldr]

What about buying all of a loss leader so that no one else can purchase it (for example all the toothpaste that was a on sale and that has a coupon)..unethical or no?

Inconsiderate, but not unethical. But it's why many stores put a limit on how many of a loss leader one person can buy.

What about taking towels or lotions and soap and robes from a hotel that you are staying in? Unethical or frugal?

Lotions and soaps are fine. Frugal if you like the product, silly if you don't. Towels and robes? Stealing is a crime.

 

[sersee05]

My question is..when does talking about people's decisions become judgemental. Goodness. Shame on that guy for filling a water bottle with tap water.. who cares? The mcdonalds example? Not your business. If a store doesnt put a limit on a coupon? Then there is nothing that has been done wrong .I agree that the examples the OP gave were unethical . No doubt about it.

 

[MillauFr]

What about buying all of a loss leader so that no one else can purchase it (for example all the toothpaste that was a on sale and that has a coupon)..unethical or no?

Not