What is the significance of "sweet sixteen" birthday parties?

[shoney]

I've never heard of a boy having a sweet sixteen party. In NY, they don't get their driver's license until 18 (or 17 w/driver's ed)
Some of the parties do get quite elaborate.
Thank goodness I have sons.

 

[eeyoreandtink]

According to what i read, it originated as a statement that the girl in question was ready to consider potential suitors, and evolved into the whole "coming out" concept.

 

[Colleen27]

For my generation, it was big because of the driving. I was *so* put out that my 16th birthday fell on the Sat. of a holiday weekend so I had to wait until Tues. It doesn't seem to be as big a deal now, at least not among my kids' friends, probably because few of them actually get their licenses as soon as they're eligible and graduated licensing rules mean even those that do don't have much reason/ability to celebrate the achievement with friends (because they can't have friends in the car when they're driving!).

 

[mom2rtk]

For my generation, it was big because of the driving. I was *so* put out that my 16th birthday fell on the Sat. of a holiday weekend so I had to wait until Tues. It doesn't seem to be as big a deal now, at least not among my kids' friends, probably because few of them actually get their licenses as soon as they're eligible and graduated licensing rules mean even those that do don't have much reason/ability to celebrate the achievement with friends (because they can't have friends in the car when they're driving!).

Except that boys get excited about driving too and have never had "sweet 16" parties.

For a lot of my kids' friends, they delayed getting their licenses because the parents did not want to pay for the insurance.

 

[RedAngie]

The age for a permit in New Jersey was 17 way back when, but plenty of girls had Sweet Sixteen parties. So it most likely was loosely related to the debutante business. Maybe like a Junior Prom type of Coming Out. From what I understand, most Debs weren't introduced into Society until Finishing School was completed, i.e. 18+.

 

[CPanther95]

Except that boys get excited about driving too and have never had "sweet 16" parties.

For a lot of my kids' friends, they delayed getting their licenses because the parents did not want to pay for the insurance.

Most insurance companies have switched from "age" to "experience". A new driver at 19 will pay the same inflated rate as a 16 year old. It drops to the normal adult rate at either 3 or 5 years of experience.

In SC you get your learner's permit at 15 and after 6 months of a permit you can get a license. So I made sure all my kids got their licenses right at 15 1/2 so their insurance rates would be normalized as soon as possible.

 

[Colleen27]

Most insurance companies have switched from "age" to "experience". A new driver at 19 will pay the same inflated rate as a 16 year old. It drops to the normal adult rate at either 3 or 5 years of experience.

In SC you get your learner's permit at 15 and after 6 months of a permit you can get a license. So I made sure all my kids got their licenses right at 15 1/2 so their insurance rates would be normalized as soon as possible.

Yeah, but presumably the 19yo has more ability to contribute to paying that insurance. That's what we've seen with families around us, at least - at 16/17, few kids in my town have jobs. We don't have many places that hire under 18 and the work-permit restrictions on hours make kids who are involved in sports/extracurriculars fairly undesirable as employees. After turning 18 a lot more kids work, even if it is just summers and weekends. Most of the new drivers we know are 18/19 and contributing to their insurance because their parents don't have room in the budget to simply absorb the insane rate increase on top of the highest-in-the-country insurance rates that we're already paying.

For two adult drivers with clean records who have never filed a claim, we're paying over $100/mo for liability-only coverage on one car. After DS18 gets his license, that's going to jump to about $300/mo. It is just common sense to put that off until he actually needs to be driving (for college - he'll be commuting) and can pay some of the cost himself.

 

[CPanther95]

Yeah, but presumably the 19yo has more ability to contribute to paying that insurance. That's what we've seen with families around us, at least - at 16/17, few kids in my town have jobs. We don't have many places that hire under 18 and the work-permit restrictions on hours make kids who are involved in sports/extracurriculars fairly undesirable as employees. After turning 18 a lot more kids work, even if it is just summers and weekends. Most of the new drivers we know are 18/19 and contributing to their insurance because their parents don't have room in the budget to simply absorb the insane rate increase on top of the highest-in-the-country insurance rates that we're already paying.

For two adult drivers with clean records who have never filed a claim, we're paying over $100/mo for liability-only coverage on one car. After DS18 gets his license, that's going to jump to about $300/mo. It is just common sense to put that off until he actually needs to be driving (for college - he'll be commuting) and can pay some of the cost himself.

Guess it just depends on the budget and how you look at it.

We didn't want our kids absorbing those rates when they were just getting started. And it's the sports/extracurriculars and part time jobs that made driving at 16 a necessity (for us and them).

 

[mom2rtk]

Most insurance companies have switched from "age" to "experience". A new driver at 19 will pay the same inflated rate as a 16 year old. It drops to the normal adult rate at either 3 or 5 years of experience.

In SC you get your learner's permit at 15 and after 6 months of a permit you can get a license. So I made sure all my kids got their licenses right at 15 1/2 so their insurance rates would be normalized as soon as possible.

Doesn't matter. If they don't have it, they don't have it.

 

[luvflorida]

I just saw this thread and thought to myself, hey, I remember asking something similar a few years ago! Then I saw that it's my thread from ten years ago! When I posted it, my youngest daughter was 15, so I must have been thinking ahead to her 16th birthday. Well, that daughter is now 25! How did THAT happen!?!?

 

[Kitty 34]

I just saw this thread and thought to myself, hey, I remember asking something similar a few years ago! Then I saw that it's my thread from ten years ago! When I posted it, my youngest daughter was 15, so I must have been thinking ahead to her 16th birthday. Well, that daughter is now 25! How did THAT happen!?!?

Are you going to have a sweet 26 birthday for your daughter??

 

[luvflorida]

Are you going to have a sweet 26 birthday for your daughter??

Maybe I'll wait another four years and have a "Sweet 30" birthday party for her. Ha! Ha! It's always a surprise when old threads are brought back to life!

 

[low-key]

I've never heard of a boy having a sweet sixteen party.

me neither, in my neighborhood if a boy had one he would get beat up every day for the rest of his life

 

[Gumbo4x4]

For my generation, it was big because of the driving. I was *so* put out that my 16th birthday fell on the Sat. of a holiday weekend so I had to wait until Tues. It doesn't seem to be as big a deal now, at least not among my kids' friends, probably because few of them actually get their licenses as soon as they're eligible and graduated licensing rules mean even those that do don't have much reason/ability to celebrate the achievement with friends (because they can't have friends in the car when they're driving!).

Mine fell on a Sunday, so I had to wait a whole day!!!

My 21st did too

 

[katrina1122]

In many states you can drive at 16. Most of my girl friends, including myself, had sweet 16's it was just what you did. I live in NJ now. they can't drive until 17, but a sweet 16 party is still pretty typical.

 

[Rommie]

I'm a boy and I asked for a sweet 16 party but, to be honest, it was just the excuse I came up at the time to visit WDW. Sadly I didn't get it.

 

[MagicaDeSpell]

I had a simple sweet 16 (I don't like being the center of attention) and I attended a bunch of them because of the school I went to, one of which seemed very fancy at the time, in a country club!, but that was before all Super Sweet 16 came out. The idea was, if you belonged to "society," that's when you were introduced to society as an adult and were eligible for marriage. You often got your own ball, too. Gradually the middle class started emulating the debutantes balls as sweet sixteens.

In my family, the rule handed down from on high was that I could not date until I was 16. It was nice to have the pressure off, if anyone asked I could just blame my Dad. My husband and I liked how that turned out and we like the tradition, so we're continuing it, though our rule is a little less strict: no one on one dating. Group activities are just fine.

Incidentally, my "sweet 16" was just a fancy dinner at Cinderella's Castle since it fell during spring break.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

I'm Puerto Rican and my XH is Nicaraguan. DD will have a quinceanera. Sweet 15.

For us it's about transitioning into womanhood. Some traditions we have are the changing of the shoes. The girl wears flats and her father changes her shoes into heels signifying that she's becoming a woman. She may also receive a pair of earrings (from paternal grandmother) l, which remind her to listen to God, and a tiara (from maternal grandmother) that symbolizes the fact that God sees her as a princess.

It's a huge party but having mass first is a big part of it for a lot of people. Some choose to have the priest give a blessing at the party.

 

[IMissEd]

This is how our family handled dating as well. I wasn't allowed and neither was my daughter until that 16th bday. I think the "Sweet" part to us signified that we could go out with a boy and have a "sweet" heart.

My son doesn't care anything about having a 16th bday, but I'm sure he will be ready to start dating.

 

[rastahomie]

I think that, by and large, Western culture doesn't really have much in the way of transitioning boys and girls into young men and women. Like, older cultures, or more "tribal" (for lack of a better word) cultures, have a ceremony marking the transition from childhood into adulthood, but modern, Western culture does not. I think a "Sweet Sixteen" is about the closest we're going to come to that, although I hear tell that some, more "crunchy" parents are having celebrations for when their daughters get their first periods (which I think is a bit much, but that's just me).

I read an article once advocating that parents should bring those ceremonies back. Like when a boy turns 12, he and his dad and uncles go into the forest, recite some mumbo-jumbo about the responsibilities of manhood, shoot a flaming arrow into the lake (or something), then have a giant bonfire and let the young lad have his first beer. That's what I would have done anyway, if I'd had a son.