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Thoughts on child support

Discussion in 'Community Board' started by can'tgetenufofwdw, Jan 10, 2013.

  1. happygirl

    happygirl DIS Veteran

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    why should they child have to pay his grandma/dad mortgage?
     
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  3. Janepod

    Janepod <font color=royalblue>The new dinning plan is out.

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    No court is going to rule that child support $ should go toward grandma's mortgage.
     
  4. mfd25wife

    mfd25wife DIS Veteran

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    I think, and I'm not an expert, the question then becomes, "what is self supporting". Does it require the child to live on their own. Does it mean the child support stops after a certain $ amount? $11/hour is still going to make money tight. Is the child guaranteed 40 hours/week?

    If the non custodial parent wants to end child support, that parent needs to appeal to the court system and prove child is self supporting and emancipated.
     
  5. can'tgetenufofwdw

    can'tgetenufofwdw Mouseketeer

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    You are absolutely right and I don't disagree. I was just looking for conversation I guess. I am beyond frustration with whole situation and just want what's fair and I am tired of watching my ex manipulate everyone and every situation to always come out smelling like a rose and getting everything for nothing. I know it's my problem. I chose to have a child with him. A beautiful child I might add who I love more than life itself. While paying ridiculous support I still provide for my son because he won't. Long story as to why son chose to move away three years ago and go live with dad and I wasn't in a position considering his age to stop him. Child will not stand up to dad or say anything to cause waves. Likes the area he lives in and I have to admit it is a great place with many opportunities. Coming "home" would limit him and his options tremendously.
     
  6. mfd25wife

    mfd25wife DIS Veteran

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    I don't live in NY, but doesn't the support go to dad for him to use as needed for child? If mom has an issue, she needs to approach the courts. In AR, they can force the custodial parent to show how money is used, but that is very rarely done. I don't think the court demands how dad applies the money or proves how it is used, normally.
     
  7. happygirl

    happygirl DIS Veteran

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    :flower3: hang in there
     
  8. Janepod

    Janepod <font color=royalblue>The new dinning plan is out.

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    What the law states is not always what we think is fair, unfortunately. Be glad that you are able to provide for him.

    And frankly, I wouldn't expect an 18-year-old to stand up to his/her father about something like this. This is between the parents and the court.
     
  9. Robbi

    Robbi DIS Veteran

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    Sorry, you're right, I did. "Mom's egg=mom's son=mom has to follow the law."
     
  10. can'tgetenufofwdw

    can'tgetenufofwdw Mouseketeer

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    I appreciate all of the opinions and thoughts. This is such a sensitive subject for me and am trying to be objective as I read everyone's thoughts. I have to believe in Karma:goodvibes. It's the only thing that keeps me sane in this mess.
     
  11. DebbieB

    DebbieB DIS Veteran

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    In PA, it's 18 or finish high school. I know my brother has struggled for years to pay his child support, he lives in a basement apartment. His son just turned 18 but will not graduate until June. His company has been laying off, he's hoping he can hold on until June.
     
  12. StitchesGr8Fan

    StitchesGr8Fan DIS Veteran

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    Sorry for your situation. But I don't think your son should have to be in the middle of this. The child support will run out before you know it, and then the ex will either get bit by karma or find someone else to manipulate. It stinks that you son is probably not getting any of the benefit of the child support, but it sounds like he is a hard worker and maybe has learned some good life lessons. Best if luck to you.
     
  13. shell8558

    shell8558 DIS Veteran

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    I have worked for the child support office here in Louisiana for 15 years. Every states laws will differ. (In our state the child support ends at age 18- with the exception of a few circumstances.) My suggestion would be to file for a reduction with the court system and let them decide. You may be surprised with the outcome. Good Luck!!
     
  14. BCDisneyFanatic

    BCDisneyFanatic DIS Veteran

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    Why shouldn't some of the child support be put towards the housing and utility costs for the child?

    OP, I'm a bit confused. Is the child support going to the father or directly to the child? If it's going to the father, is your ex paying rent to his parents? Is he contributing to the food bills for him and his son? Is he paying utilities?
     
  15. Janepod

    Janepod <font color=royalblue>The new dinning plan is out.

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    If you're the noncustodial parent, and don't have the day-to-day responsibility of caring for the child, you have no say over how the money is spent.
     
  16. Scornelius

    Scornelius <font color=deeppink>Suburban Princess<br><font co

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    If a child is working full time while living at home they should be contributing to the household.
     
  17. BCDisneyFanatic

    BCDisneyFanatic DIS Veteran

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    I agree completely. I thought that some were saying that child support shouldn't be used by the custodial parent to pay a mortgage and that didn't make sense to me.
     
  18. shell8558

    shell8558 DIS Veteran

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    I agree! And in our state, the non- custodial parent does not get a say in how the money is spent.
     
  19. Janepod

    Janepod <font color=royalblue>The new dinning plan is out.

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    To be clear, I meant that the court would not order the child support $ to go toward paying grandma's (not dad's) mortgage.
     
  20. BCDisneyFanatic

    BCDisneyFanatic DIS Veteran

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    So does that mean that the child must be allowed to live at the grandparents' house for free? Is it unreasonable for the grandparents to expect rent for him to live there (either from the father if he's receiving the support, or from the child if it's going directly to him)?
     
  21. Janepod

    Janepod <font color=royalblue>The new dinning plan is out.

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    That's between the grandparents and the father, I assume. But the custodial parent is required to provide a place for the child to live.
     

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