Thoughts on child support

[happygirl]

Yes still talking about same situation. Child is living under grandmas roof with dad. Dad is getting divorce #3 as we speak. Child is not giving grandma or dad any $ towards mortgage.

why should they child have to pay his grandma/dad mortgage?

 

[Janepod]

Yes still talking about same situation. Child is living under grandmas roof with dad. Dad is getting divorce #3 as we speak. Child is not giving grandma or dad any $ towards mortgage.

No court is going to rule that child support $ should go toward grandma's mortgage.

 

[mfd25wife]

"In New York State, a child is entitled to be supported by his or her parents until the age of 21. However, if the child is under 21 years of age, and is married, or self-supporting, or in the military, the child is considered to be "emancipated" and the parents' support obligation ends.

A child may also be considered "emancipated" if he or she is between 17 and 21, leaves the parents' home and refuses to obey the parents' reasonable commands."

I think, and I'm not an expert, the question then becomes, "what is self supporting". Does it require the child to live on their own. Does it mean the child support stops after a certain $ amount? $11/hour is still going to make money tight. Is the child guaranteed 40 hours/week?

If the non custodial parent wants to end child support, that parent needs to appeal to the court system and prove child is self supporting and emancipated.

 

[can'tgetenufofwdw]

You are absolutely right and I don't disagree. I was just looking for conversation I guess. I am beyond frustration with whole situation and just want what's fair and I am tired of watching my ex manipulate everyone and every situation to always come out smelling like a rose and getting everything for nothing. I know it's my problem. I chose to have a child with him. A beautiful child I might add who I love more than life itself. While paying ridiculous support I still provide for my son because he won't. Long story as to why son chose to move away three years ago and go live with dad and I wasn't in a position considering his age to stop him. Child will not stand up to dad or say anything to cause waves. Likes the area he lives in and I have to admit it is a great place with many opportunities. Coming "home" would limit him and his options tremendously.

 

[mfd25wife]

I don't live in NY, but doesn't the support go to dad for him to use as needed for child? If mom has an issue, she needs to approach the courts. In AR, they can force the custodial parent to show how money is used, but that is very rarely done. I don't think the court demands how dad applies the money or proves how it is used, normally.

 

[happygirl]

You are absolutely right and I don't disagree. I was just looking for conversation I guess. I am beyond frustration with whole situation and just want what's fair and I am tired of watching my ex manipulate everyone and every situation to always come out smelling like a rose and getting everything for nothing. I know it's my problem. I chose to have a child with him. A beautiful child I might add who I love more than life itself. While paying ridiculous support I still provide for my son because he won't. Long story as to why son chose to move away three years ago and go live with dad and I wasn't in a position considering his age to stop him. Child will not stand up to dad or say anything to cause waves. Likes the area he lives in and I have to admit it is a great place with many opportunities. Coming "home" would limit him and his options tremendously.

hang in there

 

[Janepod]

You are absolutely right and I don't disagree. I was just looking for conversation I guess. I am beyond frustration with whole situation and just want what's fair and I am tired of watching my ex manipulate everyone and every situation to always come out smelling like a rose and getting everything for nothing. I know it's my problem. I chose to have a child with him. A beautiful child I might add who I love more than life itself. While paying ridiculous support I still provide for my son because he won't. Long story as to why son chose to move away three years ago and go live with dad and I wasn't in a position considering his age to stop him. Child will not stand up to dad or say anything to cause waves. Likes the area he lives in and I have to admit it is a great place with many opportunities. Coming "home" would limit him and his options tremendously.

What the law states is not always what we think is fair, unfortunately. Be glad that you are able to provide for him.

And frankly, I wouldn't expect an 18-year-old to stand up to his/her father about something like this. This is between the parents and the court.

 

[Robbi]

I may be wrong, but I think you stereotyped. This sounds like Mom's egg=mom's son=mom has to follow the law. I think the OP mentioned dad lives with parents and child lives in same house.

Sorry, you're right, I did. "Mom's egg=mom's son=mom has to follow the law."

 

[can'tgetenufofwdw]

I appreciate all of the opinions and thoughts. This is such a sensitive subject for me and am trying to be objective as I read everyone's thoughts. I have to believe in Karma. It's the only thing that keeps me sane in this mess.

 

[DebbieB]

In PA, it's 18 or finish high school. I know my brother has struggled for years to pay his child support, he lives in a basement apartment. His son just turned 18 but will not graduate until June. His company has been laying off, he's hoping he can hold on until June.

 

[StitchesGr8Fan]

Sorry for your situation. But I don't think your son should have to be in the middle of this. The child support will run out before you know it, and then the ex will either get bit by karma or find someone else to manipulate. It stinks that you son is probably not getting any of the benefit of the child support, but it sounds like he is a hard worker and maybe has learned some good life lessons. Best if luck to you.

 

[shell8558]

I have worked for the child support office here in Louisiana for 15 years. Every states laws will differ. (In our state the child support ends at age 18- with the exception of a few circumstances.) My suggestion would be to file for a reduction with the court system and let them decide. You may be surprised with the outcome. Good Luck!!

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

No court is going to rule that child support $ should go toward grandma's mortgage.

Why shouldn't some of the child support be put towards the housing and utility costs for the child?

OP, I'm a bit confused. Is the child support going to the father or directly to the child? If it's going to the father, is your ex paying rent to his parents? Is he contributing to the food bills for him and his son? Is he paying utilities?

 

[Janepod]

Why shouldn't some of the child support be put towards the housing and utility costs for the child?

If you're the noncustodial parent, and don't have the day-to-day responsibility of caring for the child, you have no say over how the money is spent.

 

[Scornelius]

why should they child have to pay his grandma/dad mortgage?

If a child is working full time while living at home they should be contributing to the household.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

If you're the noncustodial parent, and don't have the day-to-day responsibility of caring for the child, you have no say over how the money is spent.

I agree completely. I thought that some were saying that child support shouldn't be used by the custodial parent to pay a mortgage and that didn't make sense to me.

 

[shell8558]

If you're the noncustodial parent, and don't have the day-to-day responsibility of caring for the child, you have no say over how the money is spent.

I agree! And in our state, the non- custodial parent does not get a say in how the money is spent.

 

[Janepod]

I agree completely. I thought that some were saying that child support shouldn't be used by the custodial parent to pay a mortgage and that didn't make sense to me.

To be clear, I meant that the court would not order the child support $ to go toward paying grandma's (not dad's) mortgage.

 

[BCDisneyFanatic]

To be clear, I meant that the court would not order the child support $ to go toward paying grandma's (not dad's) mortgage.

So does that mean that the child must be allowed to live at the grandparents' house for free? Is it unreasonable for the grandparents to expect rent for him to live there (either from the father if he's receiving the support, or from the child if it's going directly to him)?

 

[Janepod]

So does that mean that the child must be allowed to live at the grandparents' house for free? Is it unreasonable for the grandparents to expect rent for him to live there (either from the father if he's receiving the support, or from the child if it's going directly to him)?

That's between the grandparents and the father, I assume. But the custodial parent is required to provide a place for the child to live.