Can't help with most of your questions, but do have some observations from my BFF's DD and her two children. They are 9.5 years apart, girl is the elder; boy the younger. Both were surprise pregnancies, both children are cherished and very much loved! They wanted children, it just didn't happen on any kind of schedule.
Luckily, BFF's DD had a very healthy pregnancy with her DS. She was very ill during most of her first pregnancy and was told it would be better if she did not have more children. I don't know the particulars (live in another state), just that she had a very difficult time and gained a total of 17 lbs during the pregnancy, dropping back to 15 lbs at the time of birth (baby was healthy, thank goodness!). That said, she gained about 20 lbs with the second, while both she and the baby were very healthy.
BFF's DGD was okay with the possibililty of a younger sibling. Since she and her mother are particularly close (father travels constantly on business), reality was a bit more challenging. Mom had to make a concerted effort to keep her involved after DGS was born. DGD now is a teenager and gets along with her younger pretty well, but had a serious learning curve with keeping her things out of his reach. DGS loves to torment his older sister and she takes it at times; other times she fights back when she has had enough. And she usually gets into trouble, as she is "old enough to know better," according to her parents.
The two children have completely different personalities: one is more laid back, the other rarely stops! *LOL* Obviously, most family things tend to revolve around the abilities of the younger child, but mom is learning that she can't plan everything around him, or her daughter is bored (she isn't bored easily--she reads, draws, etc.) or unable to do things necessary for her development.
Having two children, whether close in age or 10 years apart, will be a balancing act. Just like most things in your life! And, in time, everyone will settle into the new reality.
Good luck!
Forgot to add:
Mom in question worked in broadcasting for several years, but decided to become a SAHM when her DD (BFF's DGD) was about a year old. As a family, they can afford the single income. She does volunteer quite a bit to maintain her sanity.
Luckily, BFF's DD had a very healthy pregnancy with her DS. She was very ill during most of her first pregnancy and was told it would be better if she did not have more children. I don't know the particulars (live in another state), just that she had a very difficult time and gained a total of 17 lbs during the pregnancy, dropping back to 15 lbs at the time of birth (baby was healthy, thank goodness!). That said, she gained about 20 lbs with the second, while both she and the baby were very healthy.
BFF's DGD was okay with the possibililty of a younger sibling. Since she and her mother are particularly close (father travels constantly on business), reality was a bit more challenging. Mom had to make a concerted effort to keep her involved after DGS was born. DGD now is a teenager and gets along with her younger pretty well, but had a serious learning curve with keeping her things out of his reach. DGS loves to torment his older sister and she takes it at times; other times she fights back when she has had enough. And she usually gets into trouble, as she is "old enough to know better," according to her parents.
The two children have completely different personalities: one is more laid back, the other rarely stops! *LOL* Obviously, most family things tend to revolve around the abilities of the younger child, but mom is learning that she can't plan everything around him, or her daughter is bored (she isn't bored easily--she reads, draws, etc.) or unable to do things necessary for her development.
Having two children, whether close in age or 10 years apart, will be a balancing act. Just like most things in your life! And, in time, everyone will settle into the new reality.
Good luck!
Forgot to add:
Mom in question worked in broadcasting for several years, but decided to become a SAHM when her DD (BFF's DGD) was about a year old. As a family, they can afford the single income. She does volunteer quite a bit to maintain her sanity.