The Goofy Identity (Just whose side are you on anyway?) - Compleated!

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Chapter 5: Contrition

Part 3: A Moment of Clarity​

Contrition​

con•tri•tion noun \kən-ˈtri-shən\

the state of feeling or showing regret for bad behavior; sincere and complete remorse for sins one has committed. The remorseful person is said to be contrite.

Derived from the Latin “contritus”: ground or crushed to pieces; bruised, crumbled; worn down or away

i.e. crushed by guilt​

​

Whenever I get to thinking it possible that I might be even marginally good at something…

Almost anything…

Reality (being the harsh task master) generally doesn’t wait very long before making it perfectly clear that I’m grossly incorrect in my conceit. Usually in a manner that effectively crushes whatever joy I thought I was deriving from said action.

Generally it serves me right and one would think I’d have learned this abject lesson by now.

But sadly… no.

I’ve received far too many of these blows to even attempt to enumerate them. The most recent occurrence brought to my attention the stark reality that I am obviously not wise enough to offer any type of advice, no matter how apparently mundane, to anyone else. I’ll be endeavoring to prevent such intrusions in the future, at least within the confines of this narrative. Instead, I will try to do no more than relate what has transpired. If there happen to be lessons one could possibly take from the story, you’ll find them for yourselves. Obviously I ain’t the one who should even attempt illuminating what those might be.





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We Choose to Go…

(A Bonus Feature in Disguise)
You have been warned!





I left this small blue planet for the first time in late 1972.

From a Disney perspective that is.


The Magic Kingdom was only just into its second year of operation when the fifth graders from the school I was attending at the time descended upon it with ravenous designs of conquest. Admission was $1.25 for most of the kids and the ticket books (yes they still had those at the time) was just shy of five bucks more.

Less than seven bucks total per person.
Just imagine…


Granted that’s around $37.00 per person in 2014 Georgies, but still only about 40% of the one day charge currently necessitated.

Talk about perspective.



As one might expect for a bunch of ten and eleven year old boys the first place my group sought out after making it down Main Street, was the futuristic confines of Tomorrowland. We’d all been raise during the heady days of the actual Apollo program so this stands to reason. In retrospect, there really wasn’t all that much going on in this corner of the park. For a bit more prospective, let me take you on a kind of time traveling journey. Just to get your bearings, here’s about what Tomorrowland looks like today…

Were this you, you’d be standing in the middle of the main walk way looking east toward the Astro Orbiter and the obscured Space Mountain beyond that. Visually, what we have here is almost a cacophony of odd shapes, jagged edges and disjointed imagery. Not every Disney fan approves of this current direction, but I do understand what they were going for. This “Buck Rodgers” inspired version of Tomorrow land arrived in the mid-1990s and is rather different from the initial vision of this corner of the park…

That last image is from somewhere between about 1979 and about 1984 when they finally had everything in the original plan completed. The look is totally different. This is the minimalist vision of the future projected by the styling notions of the 1950’s and 60s. Smooth shapes, muted colors, this was “futuristic” design as defined by those of us that were around during the Space Race. This is the realm of Dave Bowman and the HAL 9000.


Now take one more step back…

This is how that same corner of the map appeared when I first arrived in Tomorrowland. Again standing pretty close to the same spot where “Stitch” and the “Laugh Floor” now reside. Just beyond you can see pretty quickly that the entirety of the Magic Kingdom’s Tomorrowland came to an abrupt end. On the opposite side of those now familiar wooden barriers, construction was still taking place on the foundations where the Astro Orbiter stands today. There were no “E Ticket” attractions of any kind here. I mean even Space Mountain would not show up for another three years. Nope, the biggest badest thing here consumed only a more modest 75 cent “D-Ticket”. Specifically, that something was a copy of an original DL attraction known as “Flight to the Moon”.

Just without the famous and way cool rocket ship that was parked out in front of the pavilion over at the West Coast Park.

As a matter of fact, I think that particular bit of bygone Disneyana and iconic 50s style is so cool that y’all should be able to have your own personal reproductions of it. And to that end the Disney’s archives are here to help. Presented for you entertainment purposes: your very own cutout, glue-up model of the Disneyland Moon Liner…

The instructions that were on the obverse if this one time post card are long gone, but I’m sure y’all can figure it out if you really want to.


OK, I got side tracked there, so where was I originally headed off to?

Oh yeah, the moon.
As it was seen from the Magic Kingdom at least.



Being as the Apollo missions had already been canceled by this time and the last scheduled Saturn-5 launches were fast approaching, this brand spanking new attraction was already somewhat outdated. Ok, it was a lot outdated. But that didn’t mean for one moment that we had any intention of giving up our seats on Flight #92. No sir. Even the simple trick of deflating the seat cushions while simultaneously showing images of a rocket launch was enough to convince a bunch of wide eyed kids that this was both real and plausible. At that moment you could allow yourself to believe that what you were being shown was likely to be a part of your future; that we too would one day leave the planet and explore new frontiers.

Silly us, but we were young.

I still applaud those who continue to work toward that grand notion though. Since their inception, Walt’s parks have always been part of this ongoing enterprise; celebrating and even attempting to advance the ideas of space exploration. It was the dreamer in him and in most of the rest of us that made it imperative. And I thank him for that vision. For the rest of us terrestrial land dwellers, there is still a chance to experience this classic old attraction today.

Sort of…

Well, the general structure of it at least is still intact…

“Flight” became “Mission to Mars” in 1975; morphed into the somewhat un-Disney “ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter” in 1995 and then into the less menacing “Stitch’s Great Escape” in 2004. All of these use the same building, queue, preshow area and pair of matching terraced theaters from the original attraction. Only the animatronics, visuals and audio have varied from one to the next. The current incarnation, “Stitch”, is not my favorite of these to be sure. It’s passable if there is no line to speak of and you’ve got extra time to kill, but personally I feel this corner of The World sorely needs re-Imagineering and has for quite some time. You still get taken for a ride so to speak, but what I miss most here is the notion of being placed into the position of scientist, explorer and adventurer within the Final Frontier.

Or more rather, I would miss it a lot more if they hadn’t simply improved on the concept…

and moved it to another park.





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We Ain’t Missing a Thing





This park…

Our destination for the last part of the day…



Epcot

(Wondering when I’d get back around to the actual story, weren’t you?)



Now rested and all in good spirits, we were looking forward to a leisurely encounter with what was supposed to be a community of tomorrow. Moods were so euphoric that the boys even consented to having their souls stolen by one of our evil electronic imaging devices…

Note: I said they consented, not that they overly enjoyed it.



Refusal to even smile for the camera marks another clear moment. The point at which you realize your kids aren’t anymore. Aren’t kids that is (heck, they’re barely even “yours” anymore). They may act like kids at times… maybe even most times, but the processes of distancing themselves and nonstop eye rolling have long since set in. Oddly though, these guys would regress and break out of that age appropriate straight jacket on several occasions this evening. Stunned me I assure you. Disney can do that though; distract you to the point where you forget that other people might just be watching. The only problem is that I wish I had better pictures of those moments. I do promise to show you what images I have of them, but don’t expect National Geographic quality reproductions. Then again, even poor photos of something rare are worth seeing at least once.

I think…


Anyway, by this point the rain had cleared out and there was even a steady breeze attempting with all its might to pushing off at least some of the humidity. It wouldn’t really succeed, but it tried. However the sun was approaching the left horizon by now at least the radiant heat would be backing off considerable. Given these conditions, a relatively pleasant evening of exploration seemed in the offing and presented the perfect addition to an already excellent day. And what better way to start that exploration off then by getting ourselves shot off the planet entirely…

“Mission Space” is based on one of the most iconic astronaut and fighter pilot training tools known: the centrifuge.

Basically, it’s a building containing four of them and each one caries ten four person capsule simulators.

Between the vertical rotation abilities of the capsules and the horizontal and accelerative motion offered by the main device, the physical experience offered up by “Space” can be…

now what’s the word that Disney uses to describe it?

Oh yah, “intense”.


Officially opened in 2003, I first got to experience a bit less than a year later. The sensation from the first launch sequence alone was enough to get me hooked. It is a completely immersive experience, but it’s also not everyone’s cup of tea. Something I learned that same day when my son and I convinced his momma to give it a try. She did not enjoy it near as much as I’d anticipated. That was another of those moments of stark clarity. Being as unease on her part was never my intention, I focused quickly on that moment as a major error in judgment. Net result: I’ve not once since then even attempted to coerce her into trying any ride, attraction or otherwise that she’s unsure about. Truth is she’s not alone in her assessment of this infernal contraption. For several reasons, in 2006 the folks at Disney decided to shut down two of the centrifuges entirely and offer a simulator only version of the ride. Having been weaned on the real thing, I’ve never ridden the “Green” version of the story, but again I understand why it exists. As for the rest of us, on this day its existence meant that the guys had very little line to wait in for the “Orange” side of the building. No fast passes needed this night. That’s a win for any quality attraction on any Disney property during a mid-summer evening.

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Terra Firma

The plan for the rest of our time here was to wander around the World Showcase.

Just that simple.


The boys had never really paid the WS much mind during previous trips because… well, because they’re boys. All the major thrill rides are in the front of the park. Nuf’ said. But they now had enough age on them to see a bit of exploration as a positive thing rather than an impediment that was preventing them from experiencing the marquee attractions. Besides, the waits for the rest of the attractions up front were right long and passes particularly scarce (unless you wanted to party all night with Figment that is).

So where to first? To the left I think.
We’ll start off with a little boat trip through “It’s a Small Mexico”…

Or whatever it’s actually called now.
Honestly, I forget, but in any case, things still aren’t looking so good there for Donald.

I also think they recently updated some of the content in this one. At least a few of the video scenes and the narration didn’t seem as familiar to me as I expected them to be. Of course I could have been hallucinating. Actually, that’s very likely, because I distinctly remember that both the boys willing consented to a humiliating “hat picture”…

…and I’m neigh on to certain that there is no way in hades they’d willingly do that. As you can see the images are a bit fuzzy as well so photoshoping must have occurred without their knowledge or consent. That must be it… there’s really no other explanation for what I thought I saw.


I just think I saw it happen.



From here we skipped by Norway. I have no specific recollection as to why we passed it by…
Maybe the Maelstrom was shut down…
Certainly the old Viking Ship climbing structure no longer exists…
Whatever it was, on that day, at that time, we passed it by
(so now I have someone else that I have to apologize to).


China though…

For some reason, that pavilion just seemed to beckon; especially the temple. The “Hall of Prayer for Good Harvest” is a one-half scale reproduction of the main structure at the center of Beijing’s Temple of Heaven complex (天壇 which literally translates to: Altar of Heaven). Disney’s folks attempted to recreate the physical details both inside and out. How good a job did they do? Don’t know, haven’t been to the real thing, but what they did do is stunning…

That second image is what you get if you stand in the center of the temple directly under the dome. Not only is the view impressive, but the sound in memorable as well. I’m told that the space is “acoustically perfect”. What this means to you is that if you speak while standing there, your voice will be reflected directly back to you in such a way that you’ll hear your actual voice. You know, that jarring noise that pretends to be our voices and shows up on videos and home movies while everyone else’s enunciation sounds just as perfectly normal as at any other time. It’s like hearing yourself back through a microphone and P/A system (or, God forbid, a karaoke machine) and it’s just as confounding.


While you’re here you can also check out the “Circle Vision” film about China. I’ve seen it before and it is quite a visual feast, but this time we opted to meander through the exhibit halls instead as we basically had the place to ourselves. There is a sizable collection of art and artifacts within that section of the pavilion, but the unavoidable centerpiece would be the Terracotta Army…

…or at least, the replica of it. The original collection of figures dates from around 210 BC and was discovered in 1974 by local farmers near Xi'an, in the Shaanxi province. It is part of a vast mausoleum complex built for and in honor of the First Qin Emperor. Compared to this exhibit, the original is considerably larger and obviously far too valuable to be allowed out of the country. But you still get an excellent idea of the scale of the build and the level of detail put into making these individual and unique soldiers…

Pretty easy to tell who the “stinker” is in that picture…


Since we still had a few minutes to kill before the next event of the day was scheduled to begin we rummaged around in the retail section of the pavilion. Maybe y’all can help me with something we encountered here. In the middle of the shops, there is a sizable statue of the Buddha. Not unexpected for a Chinese themed attraction, but why did other guests leaved coins in the statues upturned left hand and lap?

I suspect it’s a form of making a wish or seeking good fortune, but it’s not one I’ve ever heard of before in relation to actual Buddhist traditions. I was just wondering if this is something I just didn’t know or if it’s merely an example of us silly American type tourists making up something to suit our own way of seeing things.


Speaking of seeing things…

Is that my son (The king of too cool) purposely being silly in front of someone wielding a camera and compounding the affront by not being self-conscious about it?

I must be having some type of out of body experience here. He’d never consent to doing such a thing. Someone might see. It might be time for me to head back outside into the fresh night air and see if I can get my wits back about me. I’m not seeing these things clearly at all at the moment.

Next up: Snacking Around the World
(Well… they’re not old enough to drink.)​

 

[afwdwfan]

I’ve received far too many of these blows to even attempt to enumerate them. The most recent occurrence brought to my attention the stark reality that I am obviously not wise enough to offer any type of advice, no matter how apparently mundane, to anyone else. I’ll be endeavoring to prevent such intrusions in the future, at least within the confines of this narrative. Instead, I will try to do no more than relate what has transpired. If there happen to be lessons one could possibly take from the story, you’ll find them for yourselves. Obviously I ain’t the one who should even attempt illuminating what those might be.

You and everybody else. We're just here to keep you grounded.

Granted that’s around $37.00 per person in 2014 Georgies, but still only about 40% of the one day charge currently necessitated.

Talk about perspective.

Yeah... puts a lot of things into perspective.

Monsanto was a sponsor in Tomorrowland... Part of me wants to laugh hysterically at how ridiculous that seems. But Seeing what they're doing now and the fact that is was 40 years ago... somewhat fitting, I guess.

Even the simple trick of deflating the seat cushions while simultaneously showing images of a rocket launch was enough to convince a bunch of wide eyed kids that this was both real and plausible.

Kind of amazing to think how far Disney has come in those regards. Yet even the crude set ups were amazing in their time.

It’s passable if there is no line to speak of and you’ve got extra time to kill, but personally I feel this corner of The World sorely needs re-Imagineering and has for quite some time.

Between the vertical rotation abilities of the capsules and the horizontal and accelerative motion offered by the main device, the physical experience offered up by “Space” can be…

now what’s the word that Disney uses to describe it?

Oh yah, “intense”.

That is an understatement.

No fast passes needed this night. That’s a win for any quality attraction on any Disney property during a mid-summer evening.

I love it. And I love it even more due to the fact that it is one of those rides you can usually get into relatively easily most evenings.

Besides, the waits for the rest of the attractions up front were right long and passes particularly scarce (unless you wanted to party all night with Figment that is).

You could do something Quintessential like Living with the Land.

So where to first? To the left I think.
We’ll start off with a little boat trip through “It’s a Small Mexico”…

Or whatever it’s actually called now.

You had it right.

That must be it… there’s really no other explanation for what I thought I saw.


I just think I saw it happen.

So is this your way of saying you stopped by Cava del Tequila on your way out?

How good a job did they do? Don’t know, haven’t been to the real thing, but what they did do is stunning…

Yep, that sums it up!

In the middle of the shops, there is a sizable statue of the Buddha. Not unexpected for a Chinese themed attraction, but why did other guests leaved coins in the statues upturned left hand and lap?

No bonus feature???

I suspect it’s a form of making a wish or seeking good fortune, but it’s not one I’ve ever heard of before in relation to actual Buddhist traditions. I was just wondering if this is something I just didn’t know or if it’s merely an example of us silly American type tourists making up something to suit our own way of seeing things.

I assumed it was one of those first things you mentioned but I know little to nothing about Buddhism. So I'm going to go with the "silly American" thing.

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

I left this small blue planet for the first time in late 1972.

Welcome home!

This is how that same corner of the map appeared when I first arrived in Tomorrowland. Again standing pretty close to the same spot where “Stitch” and the “Laugh Floor” now reside. Just beyond you can see pretty quickly that the entirety of the Magic Kingdom’s Tomorrowland came to an abrupt end.

Whoa.

I have to admit, I'm really curious to see what happens when Disney's "Tomorrowland" movie comes out next year.

Specifically, that something was a copy of an original DL attraction known as “Flight to the Moon”.

I'm old enough to remember the Mission To Mars version of this. I thought it was pretty cool at the time.

As a matter of fact, I think that particular bit of bygone Disneyana and iconic 50s style is so cool that y’all should be able to have your own personal reproductions of it. And to that end the Disney’s archives are here to help. Presented for you entertainment purposes: your very own cutout, glue-up model of the Disneyland Moon Liner…

Hey, thanks! By the way, have I thanked you for the geeky engineering drawings of the different rides yet? If not, thanks. Those are really cool.

I still applaud those who continue to work toward that grand notion though. Since their inception, Walt’s parks have always been part of this ongoing enterprise; celebrating and even attempting to advance the ideas of space exploration. It was the dreamer in him and in most of the rest of us that made it imperative. And I thank him for that vision.

Well said.

“Flight” became “Mission to Mars” in 1975; morphed into the somewhat un-Disney “ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter” in 1995 and then into the less menacing “Stitch’s Great Escape” in 2004.

I will admit to being one of the 7 people who liked the Alien Encounter.

It’s passable if there is no line to speak of and you’ve got extra time to kill, but personally I feel this corner of The World sorely needs re-Imagineering and has for quite some time. You still get taken for a ride so to speak, but what I miss most here is the notion of being placed into the position of scientist, explorer and adventurer within the Final Frontier.

Our destination for the last part of the day…

Epcot

(Wondering when I’d get back around to the actual story, weren’t you?)

Wait, this is an Epcot chapter? That was a quick monorail ride.

Between the vertical rotation abilities of the capsules and the horizontal and accelerative motion offered by the main device, the physical experience offered up by “Space” can be…

now what’s the word that Disney uses to describe it?

Oh yah, “intense”.

Or "vomitous".

The boys had never really paid the WS much mind during previous trips because… well, because they’re boys. All the major thrill rides are in the front of the park.

I was guilty of this in my youth as well. Now that youth is long, long gone, my opinion has changed.

So where to first? To the left I think.
We’ll start off with a little boat trip through “It’s a Small Mexico”…

Or whatever it’s actually called now.

This describes it much better than whatever the heck it's called.

I also think they recently updated some of the content in this one. At least a few of the video scenes and the narration didn’t seem as familiar to me as I expected them to be. Of course I could have been hallucinating. Actually, that’s very likely, because I distinctly remember that both the boys willing consented to a humiliating “hat picture”…

A little tequila in that Small Mexico water?

From here we skipped by Norway. I have no specific recollection as to why we passed it by…
Maybe the Maelstrom was shut down…

Or maybe it was running, but you realized it was the Maelstrom.

I’m told that the space is “acoustically perfect”. What this means to you is that if you speak while standing there, your voice will be reflected directly back to you in such a way that you’ll hear your actual voice. You know, that jarring noise that pretends to be our voices and shows up on videos and home movies while everyone else’s enunciation sounds just as perfectly normal as at any other time.

Scotty can vouch for this. Well, not that my voice sounds weird, but the perfect acoustics part.

Pretty easy to tell who the “stinker” is in that picture…

He who smelt it, dealt it.

I must be having some type of out of body experience here. He’d never consent to doing such a thing. Someone might see. It might be time for me to head back outside into the fresh night air and see if I can get my wits back about me. I’m not seeing these things clearly at all at the moment.

It's a Disney thing.

Next up: Snacking Around the World
(Well… they’re not old enough to drink.)

Hey, I saw the pictures. Are you sure about that?

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

You and everybody else. We're just here to keep you grounded.

To be sure…

Yeah... puts a lot of things into perspective.

We all know that we’re paying quit the premium for that Disney Experience,
Ahhhh, but what an experience.

Monsanto was a sponsor in Tomorrowland... Part of me wants to laugh hysterically at how ridiculous that seems. But Seeing what they're doing now and the fact that is was 40 years ago... somewhat fitting, I guess.

Disney sponsorships have often been somewhat jarring. RCA had their name on Space Mountain when it first opened. Not much of a connection there. The RnRRC was sponsored by Hanes for quite some time. Maybe they were trying to connect with the folks who got the ummm… stuffing… scared out of them during the 0-60 launch. The strangest one for me though is that Lights, Motors, Action! was sponsored by Brawny paper towels. I don’t even have a joke for that one. It’s just… bizarre.

Kind of amazing to think how far Disney has come in those regards. Yet even the crude set ups were amazing in their time.

It was a good 1955 solution to the problem. Since then, they have learned much. Competing with other parks has also given them reason to up their game. And that is a good thing for all of us.

That is an understatement.

Something else that Disney has mastered over the years.

I love it. And I love it even more due to the fact that it is one of those rides you can usually get into relatively easily most evenings.

and

You could do something Quintessential like Living with the Land.

There’s that “Q” word…

You had it right.

At least the music is less of a mind numbing ear worm.

So is this your way of saying you stopped by Cava del Tequila on your way out?

Mmmmm… could be…

That’d ‘splain a few of the things I saw.

Yep, that sums it up!

And at this point, it’s just about as close to touring anything actually in China as I’m gonn’a get.

No bonus feature???

I’d already buried one in the chapter.
I figured I’d spare you the additional torment.

Call it an act of contrition…

I assumed it was one of those first things you mentioned but I know little to nothing about Buddhism. So I'm going to go with the "silly American" thing.

Considering what passes for culture ‘round here, I’d say it’s a pretty good bet.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Welcome home!

Thanks! And I’m not even a DVC member…


As of yet

Whoa.
I have to admit, I'm really curious to see what happens when Disney's "Tomorrowland" movie comes out next year.

Haven’t heard any rumors on that one. Not even sure what the premise of the film is, but I’d certainly back the notion of doing something new and different with Stitch’s Great Escape

I'm old enough to remember the Mission To Mars version of this. I thought it was pretty cool at the time.

Yah… I’ve got a couple of years on ya’.
I enjoyed the old attractions as well. Don’t think they’d do so well for kids of a similar age now-a-days, but given the tech available at the time, they worked pretty well.

Hey, thanks! By the way, have I thanked you for the geeky engineering drawings of the different rides yet? If not, thanks. Those are really cool.

Your’re quite welcome.

Geeky is something I can generally pull off rather well. I also figured that the notion of acquiring blue prints and plans was exactly the kind of thing a double agent ought to be up to, so the tie in was ready made.

Not to mention, most of them are just plain cool.

Well said.

I said something well?
Must be one of those examples of the Infinite Monkey Theorem.

I will admit to being one of the 7 people who liked the Alien Encounter.

Not a bad experience necessarily. Just not quite what one would expect from Imagineers.
I think that one was an attempt to compete directly with Universal. They’ve since found better ways of accomplishing that task (but they also better stay on their toes for the folks from the dark side are learning good lessons as well).

Wait, this is an Epcot chapter? That was a quick monorail ride.

Actually, this chapter was just a bonus feature in disguise (I did warn you of that).
The quick monorail trip is just an apology for the detour.

Or "vomitous".

It’s been known to happen (nice adjective there by the way).
Have you tried the “Green” side of this one?

I was guilty of this in my youth as well. Now that youth is long, long gone, my opinion has changed.

A rather common experience I suspect.
It’s a bit hard to take time to smell the roses when your still unformed, comic book infused, responsibility unencumbered, hormone flooded grey cells are screaming at “Spinal Tap” level decibels of “Eleven” that you should instead mow all the flowers down…

With a flamethrower…

Because, well you know, that’d just be so, like, wicked cool and stuff!

This describes it much better than whatever the heck it's called.

I believe we’ve reached a consensus on this one.

A little tequila in that Small Mexico water?

Odd…
Andy though the same thing. :

Or maybe it was running, but you realized it was the Maelstrom.

Not a fan I take it.

We’ll get to that one later on.
We’ll skip the movie too.

Scotty can vouch for this. Well, not that my voice sounds weird, but the perfect acoustics part.

And then Scotty happened…

That phrase helps explains so many of the mysteries on the universe now don’t it?

He who smelt it, dealt it.

And that one explains most of the rest of them there mysteries.

It's a Disney thing.

Or a tequila/rum thing.
Either way works for me (more so the rum).

Hey, I saw the pictures. Are you sure about that?

Yep…


Pet Peeve Time:
In the eyes of the law, they are responsible for their actions, skilled enough to pilot multi-ton machinery on public thoroughfares, dependable enough to take on significant monetary debt, wise enough to start and head a family, trustworthy enough to carry concealed weaponry, free to consume nicotine as desired (and a few other addictive chemicals depending on the state), educated enough to choose government representatives or vote on amendments that effect other citizens wellbeing, and competent enough to fight our wars.

And yet, they are deemed utterly incapable of handling a beer.

One of those last two sentences is grossly incorrect.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Chapter 5: Contrition

Part 4: A Return to Obscurity​

​

​

Time to repair the damage done to our cover story…
To fade back into the ranks of the common masses…
To walk off into the night and disappear into the surrounding mists…

Now all we need if some smoke, fog and mist to walk off into.
Lucky for us, Disney provides for just about every guest requirement.




Even that one.





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Camera Obscura

I’ve seen Illuminations many times and always enjoy the show. It has one of the stronger musical soundtracks of Disney’s fireworks extravaganzas. It gets a bit overwrought and squishy in the middle section, but returns to the proper levels of excitement and intensity in the third stanza. All that is a very good thing right now because were it not for that strong musical content we’d have been pretty much wasting our time to even bother with the show. The China pavilion in the WS is one of the more visually appealing spots in Epcot. The colors, the details, the general atmosphere are all superb. But given the low aspect level of the evening fireworks show out on the Lagoon, China is just about the worst spot in the WS in terms of enjoying the pyrotechnics…

Between the rocks lining the shore here, the mature trees along the walk and the small island situated directly in from of this pavilion, there is much to obscure the proceedings.

But we did have one advantage. The wind was coming directly toward us so all the low acrid smoky remnants of each combustion event were rolling directly into our faces. We could at least smell and cough through all of the imagery that we were otherwise unable to see clearly. Not that it was a waste of time mind you. All explosions are entertaining (even those that resulted in only marginally visible photographed memories)…

It’s just that given a choice and the advent of better time management, we’d have been better off catching this show in Italy (experience also tells me that Mexico and The UK are right good spots as well).





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Operation: Munchie

With the show now over and the fire barges making their way back toward the workshops, much of the day’s crowd headed north toward the front gates and their various modes of transportation. We decided that we’d rather walk the other direction and partake of the World Showcase’s more relaxed evening feel.

And the boys decided that while we were at it, they’d also try to consume at least one representative munchie from each nation along the way. First stop as you can plainly see was Germany. The nibbles consumed ended up being toffies and such form the Werther’s shop that now resides in the pavilion. Is that completely representative? No, but it satisfied enough of the requirement to count.

One thing I wish we (or anyone else for that matter) could have also done was to catch the river boat tour of the Rhine. Never heard of that attraction? Well, you’re not alone. It’s like the Africa or Israel Pavilions: one of those grand ideas that never quite happened. But it was supposed to happen. Here, take a look at the original blueprints for this here pavilion…

Why it never happened I can’t say precisely; money issues more likely than not. I’ve also heard folks wonder aloud from time to time as to why they don’t just finish the ride since the building was already there. Well a quick look at Google maps explains that one…

They didn’t finish the show building. Only the spaces that would have made up the load and unload areas are under roof (and what they’re currently used for I can’t exactly say). Too bad that. Another ride out in the WS would certainly have been a bonus. So would a new pavilion, but I digress.


Time to move on. Being as we’d already explored Italy quite thoroughly the other day, the next stop on the munchies tour was a familiar one…

So what would be a representative nosh from the American pavilion? Why the national bird of course. Well it would have been had Franklin had his way. If you haven’t picked up on it by now, we’re talkin’ turkey. Turkey legs that is; smoked turkey legs. Well, leg. At eight or nine bucks per gam, the guys decided to split one. Given the size of the thing, its just as well as you do get a good bit for your bucks. There was even enough to share with mom and dad. Such thoughtful boys we’ve got there.

Next stop…

Japan from the looks of it, but looks can be deceiving. Having already raided their shops full of untranslatable sweets and beverages this nation was not currently on the agenda either (I just happened to have a usable picture for the trek). We also moseyed right on by Morocco. That despite the fact that they could at least have split a piece of baklava. No matter, I’ll explore this one on my own later on. What was drawing the young’ens more forcefully though was the allure of far more delicate baked goods. The kind that you will find readily available in France…

There are almost too many options at the Pâtisserie to wrap one’s mind and taste buds around. But we settled on a couple of simple delights. Éclairs and Crème Broulie to be specific. And my, my but those were perfectly satisfying.


Time for a quick hop across the English Channel… or the International Gateway…
Whichever one is most handy to you at the time. In either case one ends up in a place that calls itself Great Britten. At least it looks like an English post card. Phone boxes and all…

It’s hard to make out, but basically what was going on here is that one of the boys ducked into one of them there iconic time traveling boxes with the intention of calling one of the others. Rather than wait for said call, his buddy figured that acting as a human barricade would be more entertaining.

He was right of course…

But only because, the phones don’t work anymore. At least they didn’t work while we were there, which is a shame, because calling the boxes and trying to get a random guest to answer was once a fine way to kill time and offer up a little Disney Magic. Maybe the folks at Disney have since reinstated these old land lines, but I’ve not tried to prove it lately.





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Operation: Fly by Night

Pretty much everything in the WS was shutting down by now so we figured we’d head for the gates as well. This meant skipping by Canada but there was no one there selling poutine and I can’t think of any other munchies or nibble that specifically screams “North of the 49th” (or even “Due South of Detroit” if you want’a be picky about it).

On the way out though we got somewhat distracted. As the walk took us by the “Wait Time” boards in the middle of Future World we noticed that while most of the attractions were displayed as “Closed”… Soarin’ was listing a wait time of fifteen minutes. Now if it was even possible that they were still allowing folks into the Land Pavilion for one of the better experiences On World, then we had to give it a shot.

Low and behold, they let us in the door.

Once down the stairs we were again surprised to see that the stand by entrance was similarly unfettered.

We walked right in and not a sole attempted to stop us.

Amazing!

We were going to get one more crack at a major attraction this day before calling it quits. As it turned out, only a few more folks ended up in line behind us before the CM’s did at last secure the entrance for the evening. As it also tuned out, the wait was a smidgen longer than advertised. This was primarily due to the fact that they’d already closed down the theaters on the right side of the show building. Not a problem, I’m more then capable of entertaining myself for a spell. Heck if nothing else I’d just talk to my wife (ease of conversation is one of the many reasons we decided that marriage was a good idea in the first place). The boys, however, well they’ve been born into and raised amongst inhabitants of a world where patience is a mythical concept. They’ve heard the word… they just don’t believe the stories about it.


“What would it take to get you to press that green button?” asked one of them (while waving their KTTW card and pointing to one of the controls on the master console just before the preshow areas).


“More money than we have on that card”, I noted.


“Can I swap snack credits for a fast pass then?” , he replied.
(OK,. I’ll admit that one was right funny at the time)


“If you do it, I promise I'll never go back to universal!”
(As we were already laughing, that line just added to the merriment.)


Surface it to say, waiting their turn is not high on their priority list. They’re convinced that the mind can’t be stimulated without some type of outside force being applied. And nine times out of ten, that force comes in the form of one of the many-several pocket sized device developed by the Nintendo Corporation…

So out the devices came.
Oh well, what ya’ gonn’a do with ‘em.

In all reality, the wait was not all that much longer after this point and shortly thereafter, Patrick Warburton was giving us the run down on safety procedures and the proper protection of “these little beauties”. The rest of the trip through the sights and smells of Greater California was as thrilling as ever and a nearly perfect cap to the day. Once ushered out of the theater and back out into the warm Florida Evening, there really was nothing else that we were going to accomplish. So we finally packed it in and bid adieu to the Prototype Community…

Next up: Badges! We don’t need no stinkin’ badges!


but if you’re just gonn’a be givin’ ‘em away…​

 

[afwdwfan]

It gets a bit overwrought and squishy in the middle section

But we did have one advantage. The wind was coming directly toward us so all the low acrid smoky remnants of each combustion event were rolling directly into our faces. We could at least smell and cough through all of the imagery that we were otherwise unable to see clearly.

Well there you go. Making lemonade out of lemons.

Not that it was a waste of time mind you. All explosions are entertaining (even those that resulted in only marginally visible photographed memories)…

Potential MANLAW???

It’s just that given a choice and the advent of better time management, we’d have been better off catching this show in Italy (experience also tells me that Mexico and The UK are right good spots as well).

Mexico isn't quite as good anymore with the new restaurant on the water.

And the boys decided that while we were at it, they’d also try to consume at least one representative munchie from each nation along the way.

Seems like a great idea to me!

Being as we’d already explored Italy quite thoroughly the other day, the next stop on the munchies tour was a familiar one…

Come on! You could at least stop by for a quick snack!!!

Having already raided their shops full of untranslatable sweets and beverages this nation was not currently on the agenda either (I just happened to have a usable picture for the trek). We also moseyed right on by Morocco.

This whole idea of having a snack in each country is a little less fun when you skip half of them!

Low and behold, they let us in the door.

Once down the stairs we were again surprised to see that the stand by entrance was similarly unfettered.

We walked right in and not a sole attempted to stop us.

Well how about that. I guess something good did come about from skipping by a couple of countries.

Once ushered out of the theater and back out into the warm Florida Evening, there really was nothing else that we were going to accomplish. So we finally packed it in and bid adieu to the Prototype Community…

Quite a nice way to end the evening though. Fireworks, snacks, a leisurely stroll around the world and a flight over California. Not bad at all.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

This is a public service announcement for our managerial division…

Do Not Read This TR​

Thank you for your cooperation.

Signed:
The Management

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There are many reasons for me to issue that warning. Firstly my writing really isn’t worth reading in the first place. But more importantly…

This TR has been on life support for entirely too long
(considering it is based on a trip that finished up back in the summer of 2013)

As such it is unfair for me to consider asking any of you that originally signed on for this hapless ride
(be it my mistake of through misplaced good intentions) to continue doing so.
And I really don’t expect anyone to do so.

In truth, the TR really should just be put out of its misery, but there’s a problem…

As a member of the DisDads Club, there’s this one particular “Man Law” that truly needs to be adhered to in relation to this ridiculous effort. It states (and I quote):


“You can't go on your next Disney Vacation until you finish the TR from your last one.
Or at least it's an Emma's Dad Law.”


Well…

I haven’t been back to WDW since starting this thing off, but I am planning to actually head out on a very Disney excursion in the near.

A cruse to be exact; on the Disney Fantasy headed through the eastern Caribbean.

That most certainly qualifies. And if you’ll were to notice the ticker down there in my signature, you’d also see that the start date on that adventure is bearing down on me rather quickly.

I fully intend to actually meet this imaginary dead line and I intend to do so merely because I want to have the completed account for my own records. If no one else reads along or responds I won’t be hurt, because I should’a had the thing done more than a year ago.

Yep…
I don’t like it, but at this point in the process, I’ve no choice but to wear it.


So there it is.
I’ve set myself a task and a goal. I’ve released all y’all of any responsibility for aiding, abetting, or otherwise contributing to the farther delinquency of an unstable individual. Now all that remains is for me to actually “Dis Up” and get the job done.

In truth, I do have the next actual chapter ready to go so once I get it pasted in and all the pictures and formatting squared away I’ll be putting that up today as well.


So the only question remaining here then would be…
Can I actually pull it off?



Care to take bets on that one?

​

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Chapter 6: Acceptance

Part 1: This may come as a shock, but…​

​

One must have an acute awareness of one’s limits. Forgetting to keep this constraint in mind will have an effect on the outcome of future engagements.



There’s a shocking revelation.


And yet most folks fail to heed this maxim. Certainly, I fail to head it. And I generally end up paying for it on some level or other later on. This morning I’ll pay for my “Lack of Vision”.

This evening we’ll all do better, but now…


Well…




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Rise and Shine




We did our research beforehand and had a good idea as to which parks “should” be the least crowded on which days. With that accepted knowledge in hand the planned destination this AM was the southwest corner of the kingdom.

More specifically, this place…

Well that’s where we’re going to end up at least; just not yet.


We intended to get a jump on things again today, but intentions are not actions.
The action unfolded more along this line…

The alarms went off early as usual…

But we’d been out long and late the day before and up late afterward.
As usual…

Given those conditions, the alarm was more whining annoyance then clarion call to adventure. I quickly surveyed to room and noted that the boys hadn’t even flinched. Not a millimeter of movement. Shocking to imagine that a couple of teens would have a hard time gettin’ going in the morning, huh? Since they weren’t moving and even calling them out achieved nothing, I (in a moment of weakness) rolled right back over for just a bit more shut eye myself (hay I’m old… I’m allowed). It was not long after that point though that my lower back commenced to let me know that I ought to have already been up and about by now. Pain is a much more powerful type of alarm clock which I generally find myself somewhat more compelled to heed. Before too much longer the wife and I were both up, prepped and ready for the day.

And the boys?


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…


Shocked, SHOCKED I tell you.


We succeeded in rousing them just enough on the way out the door to offer up a minor ultimatum:

“We’re going for some breakfast. When y’all are up and ready holler at us and we’ll swing back by here and get you. If we don’t hear from you after a while, we’ll head on to AK and you’re riding the bus.”


One of ‘em grunted:

”K… Zzzzzzzzz”.



This may have been code, or possibly a newly discovered form of communication; difficult to ascertain at that moment. Not even sure which one of them answered. I, however, took that audible interaction as a general acceptance of the terms, locked the door and escorted my lovely bride to our car.



Not being terribly enamored with the hike required to reach the dining hall from our local in the boondocks,
I simply drove us around for a spot of breakfast.

What I should have done was head straight over to AK and gotten something breakfast-ish for the two of us at one of the myriad kiosks and QS counters in the park.


But… I did just tell the boys I’d wait a bit for them.
Poor strategy on my part there.

As such we were taking our time with a fairly lite morning meal. Even going so far as to linger a bit over just one more cup of what here passes for “coffee” when a text finally arrived…


“Will you bring our cups back?”


It didn’t say something like: “good morning”…

Nor: “Hay we’re ready, could you please come get us”…

And certainly not: “Tell mom I love her”…


Nope.
Just: “Will you bring our cups back?”


What am I dealing with here; teenagers?
Wait… that kind’a renders the whole conversation rhetorical, not don’t it?


Actually, it was a close call on their part.
I was neigh on to headin’ for the car and getting’ on the road without them. Of course this bit of backtracking (even though I did make the offer in the first place) will obviously delay us even farther…
but the die had already been cast.

The aforementioned cups were their refillable mugs which they’d conveniently left in the car the night before. I proceeded at this point to be “kinder” then was deserved and asked back: “You want them filled or empty?” I should’ve just done what they asked verbatim and no more (being as that’s generally all I can normally expect in return). But no… I did the “dad thing” and hiked out to the car, retrieved the vessels, hiked back in to wash and filled them with their beverages of choice and then drove back around to collect our minions.


Shocked again aren’t ya’?




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Adventure is Out There!

Finally we’re on the road to Adventure! Or at least to the vast parking lot that purports to be the point where adventure begins (or ends as the case may be). Abandoning our means of conveyance to the ravages of the Central Florida heat we purposefully subjected our bodies to the same climatic assault and made a bead for the waiting tram. Along the way I hear two members of the “lot brigade” discussing with some consternation the fact that: “we’re already out to Giraffe”.

This exchange reminds me to note which lot I am leaving my car to “bake” in.
One of the things I should have made more note of was the word “already”.

So now our day of Disney bliss actually gets rolling with an exciting tram ride.


Weeeee…


Well, we did get to search the asphalt savannah for wildlife ranging from beetles, rams, impalas and mustangs on up to more exotic critters like stingrays, the odd jaguar and even a spider or two.

Exciting as that sounds at least the air was moving while we were on the thing.
It smelt heavily of diesel, but it was moving and that breeze was something that would be lacking for large chunks of the rest of the day
(we’ll get back to that in a bit).

Once finally in the park we made our way toward its grand central icon…

Note just how thick the sea of humanity is?
That’s what the folks out in the parking lot were actually on about.

Apparently a record number of guests had also checked their various online crowd estimation apps, saw that AK would be light this day and then simultaneously decided we’d all completely defeat every single one of those well thought out statistical algorithms.

Well there’s not much we can do about it now and in truth, I still hadn’t fully picked up on the fact just yet.
Nor on its implications.

The heat may have been diminishing my capacity for critical thinking.

Or maybe it’s that I don’t actually have a capacity for critical thinking.

In either case, what say we finally get started on our own adventure…
Especially seeing as we’d already arrived as our first stop of the day.


No, not the “bug show’ in the tree, I mean this unassuming little kiosk type thing’ie along the same pathway…

Disney’s newest interactive game experience
(at the time that is… Oh, and a first for Animal Kingdom):


Wilderness Explorers!


Well technically, that’s not a completely true statement.
It not completely “new” per se.

There had long been a group of interactive activities scattered throughout the park that made up what was called: “The Kids Discovery Club”. Just a little something to help entertain bored younger kids that weren’t all that interested in any of the jungle treks or more low key attractions.

What the Imagineers did though was to repurpose nearly all of that existing infrastructure, expand upon it, and then (as only Disney can do) add a near perfect marketing tie-in.

The whole thing is themed along the lines of the Wilderness Explorers scouting group that had been devised for the Pixar film “Up!” Your mission (if you chose to accept it) is to work your way through the park and earn as many of the W.E. Activity Badges as possible. Unlike the games in the other parks there are no electronics, video screens or animatronics involved.

Nope, we’re talkin’ booklets and pencils here.

This one is decidedly low tech and old school. But don’t let that put you off. It’s still entertaining (regardless of one’s age) and may actually be the one add on that fits best into its assigned park and surroundings.

The “game’s” paraphernalia consists of a simple booklet, a pencil, and your own enthusiasm and imagination.

You acquire one of these little beauties and earn your first “badges”
(which are actually stickers)
at that kiosk back there.

So what’s lesson 1?
Knowing how to properly greet fellow explorers of course:

The wilderness must be explored! Caw! Caw!... Roar!



I amazed both the wife and kids (and to some degree, the CM to boot) by already knowing the call to action, performing it with copious amounts of enthusiasm and even possessing an adept knowledge and skill for the requisite hand signal. It was quite funny at the time, but you’d had to have been there.

Now the last thing that the guides will explain is that it would take a while to finish the whole book as it’s really a multi-day activity.

A smart thing to be telling folks.
Had they said nothing more, I suspect some would head off figuring it to be only an hour or two diversion
(the way other WDW interactive games can be), but this one has too much in it, and the stations are scattered out around one of the largest parks (from a walking perspective).

To be sure, we didn’t finish it up. Each of us earned enough badges to reach the rank of “Tabpole”, but missed out on being promoted to “Minnow” by just a couple. Had I been paying enough attention to notice that fact, I’d have gone after those couple before we left that day. Guess I’ll just have to bring my book back with me the next time we get down to AK (although, that may be a while).

But with books and first badge earned now in hand, our expedition forged on toward Asia.

We were on a futile mission to obtain a Himalayan reservation.

Ok, so it wasn’t futile, it just was going to be a good while before we could capitalize on the resies.

I knew we hadn’t gotten to the park near early enough to consider the stand-by queue as a viable option, but the lateness of the return times on our passes (and associated lock-out for acquiring additional passes) was the reality check that actually told me just how crowded that theoretical light park of the day actually had become.

Well we’ve got time so why not knock out a few of those Activity badges.

That’s the markers form the spot where one can earn their:


Telescope Badge

Caw! Caw!... Roar!


You have to use the viewers set up near there to search for “Forbidden” mountain amongst the peaks in the Himalayan range (basically the façade of EE) and ascertain its height.

Or… you can cheat and copy the info down from the handy board hanging over the kiosk…

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Song and Dance




‘Round about this time the omnipresent heat and humidity had begun to take a noticeable and rather sever toll on our sense of wellbeing. We needed shade, and a spot of A/C would be a good thing as well.


Must be time for a musical.

The “Finding Nemo” show at AK is actually rather high up on my list of Disney must dos. I’ve always liked the film to begin with, but the stage musical version of the story is just plain old fun to watch. Of the various live offerings in D’World, this is one of the more elaborate (behind the Indiana Jones show over at HS of course). Even though you know the story, this Broadway style presentation using rather elaborate larger-than-life puppets to drive the action is a real hoot.

And a whole lot of fun.

Part of the entertainment value comes from seeing how with puppets, props and lighting the actors successfully recreate nearly every major scene form the film.

Very imaginative.

And even with the compressed time format, they tell the whole story right faithfully.

For me there are only two potential down sides to this show (and both are more picky then problem to be truthful). First, the design of the benches in the theater can be a bit less than comfortable after a while.

The other minor annoyance is that the walkways are a bit narrow in this part of the park so when one show lets out, and those folks encounter the hordes trying to get in for the next one, the result can make you feel like a fish yourself.

A sardine to be more specific and one that’s headed against the flow of a seriously crowded stream to boot.


One way to escape that claustrophobia convention as quickly as possible though is to duck in the back gate of Chester and Hester’s Dinorama.

This whole area is a rather different kind of song and dance; especially for Disney.

A kind of homage to roadside midways of the past, it boasts various “Disnyfied” iterations of the wack-a-mole concept and other midway type games of “skill” and/or “chance”. The kind of pocket change devouring offerings that one can get into at the average Six Flags over [insert city name here].

As such, they don’t hold lot of interest for us.

There are a couple of actual attractions here though. A triceratops version of the classic Dumbo ride for one
(meaning if you ride it here, you could skip it over there or vice-versa).


And one other thing…
An actual rollercoaster…


The Primeval Whirl



Now, this is a ride that one generally either likes or detests.

As rollers coasters go, it’s appears deceptively tame. The design is a basic “wild mouse” type track layout.

The sting in the tail though is that the four-person cars are designed to spin freely on their center axis in a manner similar to the Mad Tea Party’s cups
(but you don’t have any control over the action or velocity once the break is released).

Depending on how the car is loaded and the weight distribution of the passengers, the result is that the bottom half of the ride can get right disorienting.
So much so that the boss won’t have anything to do with it (and I really can’t blame her).

Basically it all boils down to just how long the line is for this one.
If it’s short, the guys will ride it.

Today the park was very crowded. But oddly enough, the line here still short
(must have been an example of that love-it/hate-it stuff in action)

So…

We got Dizzy.




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Primal Urges





OK, enough of that. So what else is there to get into ‘round this part of the park?
I mean apart from the paleo-carnie back there, just what all else is actually left ‘round here?

The Boneyard playground area, yes, but the boys are way too old to bother with that now (and I certainly don’t yet have grandkids that need to be rooting abound in a sandbox – and that’s a good thing, just yet).

So then, am I sayin’ that Dino Land is basically a bust for my family?
Nope… It still has “Dinosaur”, and that’s another attraction we generally don’t miss
(but I’ll come back to that in a bit).

No, more importantly (at this moment at least) this corner of the AK possesses one of the single best counter service restaurants in all of Da’World. Being as the boys had basically skipped breakfast and we were by any measure, famished…

it was time to channel the voracious carnivore deep within our psyches.
So after a quick detour to grab a set of fast passes that promised future visions of the catastrophic end of the Cretaceous…


We charted a course straight for the Flame Tree.

Ribs and Pulled Pork are difficult to pass up under any circumstances, especially when done well. And here, they are done surprisingly well.

Who’d a’ thunk!

And being a QS offering, it’s even somewhat budget friendly (as Disney food goes that is). The other thing that we like about this particular culinary experience is the dining room…

Outdoors yet shaded, impeccably themed,
relaxing and pretty much overlooked by a large percentage of the folks in the park…

I mean, with views like that, what’s not to like?

Normally we try to snag a table in one of the pavilions down by the water, but it was more crowded than usual this time around (like every other facet of the park this day) so we established a base camp farther up the hill near the reflecting pool. Not much of a compromise to be sure. I can actually spend a great deal of time here just drinking in the scenery (and devouring the smoky goodness from the kitchens).


Bellies full, one of our primal urges was now sated. Time to take care of another…
the unending human desire to personally witness cataclysmic mayhem and carnage on a global scale.
And where better to do that then

“Countdown to Extinction”!


Well, it used to be called that at least.
Now-a-days is simply called…

Dinosaur

And why not, that name tied in to one of their films at the time and required little change to make it applicable. If you pay attention though you will still see hints of its original theming in the form of the “CTX” designation stenciled at various points on the walls in the loading area and plastered prominently on all of the “Time Rovers”.


Speaking of Time Rovers…

Those things are the real secret to this little adventure. Yes, the plethora of dino-droids make for a visual feast (or feeding frenzy as the case may be), but it’s the Imagineers ability to control these funky carriages down to the last jitter, wiggle and thump that brings the whole thing to life.

Referred to as a “dynamic ride vehicle” in all the patents (and there are many) these were first developed for the “Indiana Jones Adventure” over at the mother ship of theme parks, Disneyland (somewhere I desperately need to visit at some point). Actually I’ve learned that the two rides are more similar then you’d expect.


The show building and two story track layout for both are nearly identical…

and it is just a matter of swapping out the back story and hydraulic critters that makes the difference.

One thing that did change significantly at AK once the name of the ride was altered it that they actually toned it down a bit (all that shaking swaying and thumping, that is).

Another shocker, I know…

Being themed now to promote a kid friendly film, it was anticipated that more young’ens would be drawn to the attraction.

So the next time you find yourself being flung around like a rag doll while hurtling through a primeval jungle and dodging meteor fragments, consider that this bone jarring experience use to be a good bit more intense.





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Assault on the Summit
(but which summit?)





Once I got my shoulders back into their sockets and sundry vertebra realigned two things occurred to me. First, our window for Everest was finally open and second, there's what looked to be a pretty nasty storm a brewing.

In no longer then the time we were inside the Dinosaur show building, the day’s deathly still hot air was replaced by some gusty winds that had become fierce enough to push most of the heat out of the park. The sky was now nearly black as well. Yah, for the drop in atmospheric temperature, but a fierce rain might lead to a “safety” shut down of The Expedition. Not much that can be done about it other than try to get there before all heck breaks loose.

So we trudged on and succeeded in making it to the queue before any potential deluge actually struck.
Here’s one shot I snapped as we made our way through the queue…

Gives you a sense of how overcast it had gotten.

I took a few more obligatory queue pics, but for reasons A, B and K, none of them turned out worth a dang. And sense I figure y’all are pretty much all or nothing kind’a folks, and you can’t have it all, you get nothing.

So now, where are we?
Oh yeah, boarding a train to take us up Mt Everest.

Well… actually, that’s not right either.

We’re boarding a “train” that will attempt to take us up “Forbidden Mountain” on the way toward Everest.
But as you know, that doesn’t go so well and no one ever actually reaches Everest.


I suspect that one or two of you may be shocked once more by this revelation.


Well, it’s actually stated somewhat vaguely in the official name of the attraction:

“Expedition Everest - Legend of the Forbidden Mountain”

We’ve all generally referred to this great attraction as just Expedition Everest or “EE” since it opened officially on April 7 of 2006, but the backstory is pretty clear that it’s actually “Forbidden Mountain” where the Yeti lives and can’t resist interfering with our trek toward the world’s tallest peak. I found a couple of great articles on the inception, construction and details surrounding one of my favorite WDW experiences.

hear and hear if you’re interested.

For once I’m going to let you decide whether or not you need to know more as opposed to spilling it all out onto the pages of my already blotted (and deservedly ignored) TR. But trust me, it’s worth the read.

For us the entire adventure boiled down to two main points…

First of course was that we finally got on the ride and had the absolute blast that we intended to have.

Second, was that by the time we got off the ride, that aforementioned threatening rainstorm had blown right past us without so much as a sprinkle. Nature apparently decided to rain on a different part of D’World and obligingly had returned AK back to its original state of stagnate air and blistering heat.

Oh joy…


But hay, we got to ride the mighty EE, so all was good.

We even took a moment of two to knock out a few more of those Wilderness Explorer badges while we were at it. So we also had that going for us.


Which is nice.





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This way to the Egress…

When PT Barnum encountered a problem with traffic flow in his great Museum of the Americas he devised an intriguing method of convincing folks to move on and as such make room for more suckers… errr… guests to enter the facility. He posted a sign similar to the one above near the last exhibit. This would lead folks that didn’t know better (which sadly was most of ‘em) toward what they believed was something else new and amazing but instead was simply the back door. Where there were also guards who would ensure that there’d be no reentry at that point.

Worked a treat.

But then again, sometimes, a place can be so crowded and so miserable that just maybe a retreat really is the right call.

From our current position we could have gotten into one of the jungle treks or headed over to the safari, but in truth we’d about had it for the afternoon. Besides we had other plans for the evening and the thought of chilling for a bit back at the Bayou was looming large as the best option. Before setting out though the boys decided that the return of the heat necessitated a bit of quenching so we stopped by the “Bus” to grab a couple of Coke Floats as a bit of rejuvenating remedy against the withering their bodies were undergoing.

I also noticed that there was another of the WE badge stations right around the corner so I took a moment to do a bit of currency calculation and knocked out just on more badge for the day. It’ll look good next to that bottle cap of grape soda pined to my uniform.


Sugary beverages in hand we began the long march back toward “Discovery Island” and the front of the park…

As we reached the Tree of Life it was noted that the next performance of “the bug show” was only about a five minute wait. Now I can take of leave this particular offering, but shade and air-conditioning…
…those are a powerful draw on days like these.

We basically walked straight into the theater, plopped down on one of the benches, got ourselves dowsed, gassed, stung, fumigated and otherwise unnerved and then staggered back out into the heat.
But the cool and the break did help a bit so I’ll chalk it up as a minor win.
(or at least as not being a loss)

Interestingly “Bug” is one of the few attractions that doesn’t disgorge its human contents directly into a
Dump Shop. Near one, yes…
Into one, no…

But one thing this specific egress does lead somewhat directly toward is one of the park’s many ice-cream and novelty vendors. The discovery of which prompted a snap decision that we desperately needed to spend even more of our money on a cool nosh or four.

(oh heck, let’s just call it Disney’s money, their gonn’a take most all of it anyway)

Myself, I went for the strawberries on a stick. I don’t know why, but those frozen berry bars just taste amazingly good to me when I’m in the parks on a hot summer day. I’ve tried to replicate the experience at home with similar premium concoctions procured from the local mega-mart but they never satisfy quite as well as those acquired in a Disney park. I’m sure there are other factors (mental and physical) at work here but I wasn’t in the mood to analyze them just then. It was merely a race between me and the heat of the day to see whether the greater percentage of the berries would end up in my innards or dripping down my wrist and onto the pavement. I won that contest, but the sun did take its cut.

A hand washing and a bit more trudging later and we were back on one of WDW’s charabancs (yes, I said charabanc) and headed back out into the asphalt wilderness of the attraction known as parking world. Now I remembered that we’d left our mode of conveyance in the realm know as Giraffe, but just exactly which Giraffe? What I mean is: which row? Hadn’t made as good a note of that one (nor had anyone else).

Dang…


I knew it was one of the first few rows in that section, but I wasn’t spotting vehicle right off.

I could have kept looking, but like legionaries lost in the Sahara I was becoming a bit delusional, so drastic measures were required. I was forced to lower myself down to the pitiable position of being one of “those guys”. You know these losers; the ones that end up hitting the “panic button” on their key fob so as to obtain an audio queue as to the current location of their lost ride. Button pushed, dignity compromised, we determined that we were off by two rows and had walked about fifty feet too far along as well.

Sigh…


Find the car we did though. We also found that the interior had reached the temperature of your average wood-fired pizza oven without our having the benefit of any dough or toppings handy to take advantage of the condition. The only thing that got baked was us. But the situation started to calm down a mite around the time we passed by the entrance to the Animal Kingdom Lodge
(somewhere I’d really like to stay one of these here first days if at all possible).

I made one stop to fill the gas tank, one more stop at Riverside Mill back at POR to fill all the cups with beverages/mixers of choice and then we pretty much collapsed back into our room in the bayou.

It is entirely possible that the grownups immediately spiked said beverages with a healthy splash of rum and collapsed onto the bed and into the chairs. It’s also conceivable that the young’ens made a bee line for Ol’ Man Isle and a good dunk in the feature pool. But the one certifiable fact was that all of us had moved directly into chill mode and would remain there until the sun began to mercifully relinquish its ferocious grip on the day.





Next up: A bit of future, a bit of past, a few ghouls and spooks…
and then something really terrifying
​

 

[PrincePluto]

An update... Niiice! Excellent narrative style, and I enjoyed your backstory on the Dinosaur ride, as well as the diagrams.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

An update... Niiice! Excellent narrative style, and I enjoyed your backstory on the Dinosaur ride, as well as the diagrams.

Thanks, and glad you enjoyed it even a smidgen.
I do actually intend to get this wrapped up and before we leave on our next trip, so there will be more to come.

The diagrams... those ya' get for free.
They'll be making additional appearances as well since it fits into my ridiculous espionage theme
(and makes up for my rather appalling lack of suitable pictures of actual bits of Disney).

 

[afwdwfan]

This is a public service announcement for our managerial division…

Do Not Read This TR​

Thank you for your cooperation.

Signed:
The Management

Ok. Bye!

“You can't go on your next Disney Vacation until you finish the TR from your last one.
Or at least it's an Emma's Dad Law.”


Well…

I haven’t been back to WDW since starting this thing off, but I am planning to actually head out on a very Disney excursion in the near.

A cruse to be exact; on the Disney Fantasy headed through the eastern Caribbean.

Well, you'd better get on it. I'd hate for you to have to miss that boat!

I should’a had the thing done more than a year ago.

So the only question remaining here then would be…
Can I actually pull it off?

Before too much longer the wife and I were both up, prepped and ready for the day.

And the boys?


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…

Ok, meet you at the parks!

What I should have done was head straight over to AK and gotten something breakfast-ish for the two of us at one of the myriad kiosks and QS counters in the park.

I did the “dad thing” and hiked out to the car, retrieved the vessels, hiked back in to wash and filled them with their beverages of choice and then drove back around to collect our minions.


Shocked again aren’t ya’?

Big mistake. But not really shocked. You and mistakes tend to go hand in hand.

“we’re already out to Giraffe”.

This exchange reminds me to note which lot I am leaving my car to “bake” in.
One of the things I should have made more note of was the word “already”.

Um.... quick! Get back in the car, we're going to MK today!

Note just how thick the sea of humanity is?
That’s what the folks out in the parking lot were actually on about.

I've never seen that kind of a crowd in that park.

The heat may have been diminishing my capacity for critical thinking.

Yeah... the heat.

Or maybe it’s that I don’t actually have a capacity for critical thinking.

That's more like it.

Nope, we’re talkin’ booklets and pencils here.

What is this, 1915?

Guess I’ll just have to bring my book back with me the next time we get down to AK (although, that may be a while).

Day trip before or after the cruise...

Or… you can cheat and copy the info down from the handy board hanging over the kiosk…

Well there you go then. Do it the easy way.

(meaning if you ride it here, you could skip it over there or vice-versa).

Maybe if your kids are Max's age.

We got Dizzy.

Isn't that the ultimate goal of that ride?

So then, am I sayin’ that Dino Land is basically a bust for my family?
Nope… It still has “Dinosaur”, and that’s another attraction we generally don’t miss
(but I’ll come back to that in a bit).

No, Dinoland isn't a bust. It has one of the 3 attractions in the park that are a must do.

We charted a course straight for the Flame Tree.

MMMMM... Flame Tree...

I can actually spend a great deal of time here just drinking in the scenery (and devouring the smoky goodness from the kitchens).

Disneyland (somewhere I desperately need to visit at some point).

One thing that did change significantly at AK once the name of the ride was altered it that they actually toned it down a bit (all that shaking swaying and thumping, that is).

Toned it down... well I guess maybe a little bit.

Being themed now to promote a kid friendly film, it was anticipated that more young’ens would be drawn to the attraction.

Oh yeah, the little kids just love it.

And sense I figure y’all are pretty much all or nothing kind’a folks, and you can’t have it all, you get nothing.

We're used to getting nothing from you.

Second, was that by the time we got off the ride, that aforementioned threatening rainstorm had blown right past us without so much as a sprinkle. Nature apparently decided to rain on a different part of D’World and obligingly had returned AK back to its original state of stagnate air and blistering heat.

Well... that might actually be a bit of a let down. May have been nice to get that quick cool down!

(oh heck, let’s just call it Disney’s money, their gonn’a take most all of it anyway)

We all know that's the truth.

A hand washing and a bit more trudging later and we were back on one of WDW’s charabancs (yes, I said charabanc) and headed back out into the asphalt wilderness of the attraction known as parking world

You and your fancy schmancy words.

Now I remembered that we’d left our mode of conveyance in the realm know as Giraffe, but just exactly which Giraffe? What I mean is: which row? Hadn’t made as good a note of that one (nor had anyone else).

Dang…

HA HA!!!

I could have kept looking, but like legionaries lost in the Sahara I was becoming a bit delusional, so drastic measures were required. I was forced to lower myself down to the pitiable position of being one of “those guys”. You know these losers; the ones that end up hitting the “panic button” on their key fob so as to obtain an audio queue as to the current location of their lost ride. Button pushed, dignity compromised, we determined that we were off by two rows and had walked about fifty feet too far along as well.

Sigh…

But the one certifiable fact was that all of us had moved directly into chill mode and would remain there until the sun began to mercifully relinquish its ferocious grip on the day.

Sounds like a good alternative to the sweltering heat of AK.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Well, you'd better get on it. I'd hate for you to have to miss that boat!

I was actually just about to post up the next chapter when you decided to crash the party
(pitiful though it may be).

Now I think I’ll wait until tomorrow.



Just cause…

Big mistake. But not really shocked. You and mistakes tend to go hand in hand.

If that weren’t true, I’d be offended.
“If”, that is…

Um.... quick! Get back in the car, we're going to MK today!

In due time… in due time.

Yeah... the heat.


That's more like it.

Gott’a blame some outside force or other.
Could’t have been my fault.

What is this, 1915?

So what your’ sayin’ is that you don’t know how to work a pencil?

Day trip before or after the cruise...

Oh I wish…
We’ll be arriving down in the area the evening of May 22nd. I do believe that they’re even planning to be open 24-hours that day. First problem is between it being the start of the Memorial day weekend and that extra hours thing it gonn’a be a mad house. Second problem with the plan: DCL cruses are pricy (probably too much so) and as such I don’t know that I could justify the $100 plus bucks per person required to get in the gate.

Well there you go then. Do it the easy way.

Never let it be said that I didn’t do the least I could do.

Maybe if your kids are Max's age.

That’s a fair point.
And to think… you made it.

Isn't that the ultimate goal of that ride?

You bet’chem Red Rider.
And it succeeds unequivocally at the task.

MMMMM... Flame Tree...

Getting the hungries just thinking about it…


Good thing I’ve got some BBQ in the fridge.

Toned it down... well I guess maybe a little bit.

The Imagineers clam it was a lot a bit
Trying to imagine the amount of carnage originally inflicted if that were the case

Oh yeah, the little kids just love it.

Well… the ones that are natural adrenalin junkies do.
Beside, from my perspective, even you are a kid.


So…. GET OFF MY LAWN, DANG YA’!!

We're used to getting nothing from you.

“And you shall receive it… In abundance!”

We all know that's the truth.

It’s a dealer/addict relationship.
I’m sure there’s a 12 step program for it, but I haven’t hit bottom yet.
So….

You and your fancy schmancy words.

Just trying to class the place up a bit.
I ain’t succeeding, but it’s worth a shot.

HA HA!!!

“Laugh it up fuzzball…”

Sounds like a good alternative to the sweltering heat of AK.

It was, it was.
Not that I wouldn’t like to be back there right now…
Just without those levels of radiant heat.
And maybe with the rum in hand as well.

Yah, that’d be good.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Chapter 6: Acceptance

Part 2: Drinking the Kool-Aid




If you’re reading this, you’ve already done it.

You know what I’m on about here. You wouldn’t have become a member of this board if it weren’t true. You wouldn’t be roaming through the threads if it hadn’t already been confirmed. And you would not be rummaging through TR’s (and most certainly not through mine) if it weren’t an indisputable fact…

You’ve drunk the Kool-Aid.

You’ve bought in to the whole Disney experience and all the foolishness (on their part and on your part) that goes along with it. We may try to distance ourselves from it at times. We may even step out on our first love to explore other amusements and offerings.

But we always come back home.
Back to Disney.

We’re busted that way.

And if you’re going to be so consumed and immersed, it might as well be in the place that knew you when…
The main park (on this coast anyway).

The Kingdom.

It’s time for another fix, so pass me another drink and let’s get started.





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The Preliminaries





When we last met, I do believe that the young’ens were headed off to the pool the evade the oppressive heat of the day…

And they’re out there somewhere, I’m sure of it.



The grownups were chillin’ back in the room over in the bayou and enjoying a couple of tall frosty (and rum infused) libations. When something happened that has gotten to be another one of our Disney trip traditions…


My employer interrupted our down time.


Since moving into my current job, I have yet to take an extended vacation where I didn’t get called at least once in the middle of any time off by someone from the office back home. It’s bad enough that their demands already limit when I can travel to small windows of only a few days in only a few of the months of the calendar, but they seem intent on invading even that small amount of family time.




This call went basically the same as all previous variants:

They wanted me to work on something;

I remind them that I’m on vacation;

They say well it’s just this one thing;

I say that I’ll dig my laptop out and head off to find a spot on property where I can get a decent WiFi signal and that I’ll probably have whatever it is ready in an hour or two;

They say: can’t you just do it faster ‘cause, they’ve leaving for the day in a little bit;

I say I’ll do the work but I can’t guarantee the elapsed time required;

They say never mind I can just do it once I return back to the office…



Well if it could’a waited, then why in the heck did you invade my sanctuary in the first place!


Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggg!


I may need another drink.

Actually it’s just about this time when the boys arrive back at the room and we decide that once everyone is ready, we ought to head out for a bit of dinner and some more time in the parks. So once everyone got themselves cleaned up and organized, that’s precisely what we did.

While diner was first on the agenda, a slight change in venue was also a notion that seemed to be tugging at our whims. So we piled into the car and drove around past the dining hall at POR
and on over to the one at this place…

The French Quarter is just a short hop to the south and the menu offered up in the “Float Works” is decidedly different from what we’d been partaking of up to this point. It’s also the only counter service “On-World” that I’m aware of where you can order up some Jambalaya and then chase that with a couple of fresh Beignets.

Cajon consumables now… ummm… consumed…
We hoped back into our waiting wheels and headed out into D’World. In short order the car was again settled into a spot deep in the heart of one of Disney’s massive parking lots. By name, this particular bit of real-estate is known as “Zurg” (Row-110… I won’t be forgetting where I put the car this time around at least).

It’s also pretty obvious from that last detail there that we must be about to hop on a tram bound for the TTC. And you’d be correct in making that deduction. In short order, we were also climbing aboard a Mark VI monorail on the express line. Follow that up with a couple renditions of “por favor manténganse alejado de las puertas" and we were headed for the Contemporary and onwards toward…

that most Magical of Kingdoms.





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The Conquest of Tomorrow





As we passed through the main gates and toward the train station at the foot of Main Street, our intention was to head back to Liberty Square and on to Frontierland. But there was something in the way. Specifically that something was the current rendition of the Main Street Electrical Parade. That was going to be gumming up the works for a bit. So once we got to the end of Main Street, it was simply a matter of following the directions being offered by the various CM’s wielding those orange tipped runway-traffic directional flashlights and head off to the right. Smack into…

Tomorrowland



Common wisdom suggests that when the parades are going on, it tends to draw a lot of the crowds away from the major attractions and wait times should drop a noticeable bit within that little time window. Now I’ve seen this work and had many folks confirm that they too have witnessed such phenomena, but the 90 minute wait time for Space Mountain just wasn’t bearing that paradigm out. Either we’d encountered an exception to the rule or worse, it had worked and the standby for SM had dropped considerably from some astronomical figure down to a more “reasonable” 90 minutes. Either way, that wasn’t going to be happening. Not right now at least. No what we needed was something else that we all wanted to see, and that preferably took in a whole lot of folks at a time. When you’re in Tomorrowland, those requirements point in this direction…

Even though Roz is always watching…


The Monster’s Inc. Laugh Floor never fails to entertain. But hay, I’m not looking for a highly sophisticated or critically acclaimed comedic experience. I’m quite happy to snicker along as Buddy Boil leads the show and to roll my eyes at the exploits of Mac and Jeeves. And who doesn’t enjoy watching Roz give Mike Wazowski a monumental hard time (her reel of Mike’s greatest “hits” is always a winner). One of these days I’d even like to be gloriously elevated to the ranks of “That Guy”, but this time out, such was not to be. I didn’t even make the cut for having to treat everyone to churros, but a good time was still had by all.


OK, so now we’ve laughed at Monsters, so what’s next on the agenda?


Why, Defending the Galaxy of course…

As it turns out, the logic about parades lightening up the crowds in queues was actually playing out, just not for Space Mountain. But it was affecting most everything else in the area
And Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin was included among that number.

Buzz is one of the better jobs of repurposing pulled off by the good folks in Imagineering. When the MK first opened this was the home of “If You Had Wings”, an offering sponsored by now defunct Eastern Airlines. It was also one the few “free” (meaning no tickets, A-Tickets, E-Tickets or otherwise, required) attractions in the park. From there it changed to “If You Could Fly” and then on to “Delta Dreamflight”, then just “Dreamflight” and finally to “Take Flight”. Really it was all just minor tweaks to the scenery throughout those transitions. But then came Buzz. And this time it got that major overhaul that was desperately needed.
Here, you can see for yourself…

Take a look at this copy of the original plans which we stol…
errrr…
acquired via completely acceptable and legal means (no, really they just fell into our lap… honest)…
which illustrate the layout of the show building as it was opened in 1972:

And here it is after being rebuilt for Buzz:

Hummmm… Looks pretty similar now don’t it?
Well it ought to.

They used the same “people mover” system that’s been in place there since the beginning.

Like before, it was mostly just a matter of changing the scenery. But they did have to change one other aspect of the ride this time around. As you may well be aware, the individual ride vehicles were altered to give the passengers control of the spin. According to a bit of Disney folklore, it said that when they first came up with the that idea, no one was certain that the system could handle the strain of that much unpredictable and randomly distributed weight being in potentially constant motion for indeterminate lengths of time. To test out the potential effects on the hardware the story goes that one night after closing they pulled one of the cups off of the Mad Tea Party, bolted in place of one of the flight buggies and then tried their best to break the system. Don’t know if it’s true, but it’s a good story and I rather like the image of a couple of Imagineers spinning themselves till they puke while rolling through the old “Wings” ride in the middle of the night.

It plays to my sense of the ridiculous.

Alright, moving on…
Wait, what?

Scores?

You want to know who won?

Well I guess it would be right Un-America if we didn’t declare a looser now wouldn’t it.
Well if you must know…


“I must, I must.”


No one seceded in becoming a Ranger 1st Class much less a Galactic Hero. Max won the round with 140,000. Tonsy also earned the “Space Scout” designation with a mark of 103,000 points. It’s impolite to tell a ladies’ score (just as it’s improper to mention her weight or age) unless she won of course.
That only leaves my score…

Well…

What were we talking about again?
Oh look! There goes the Space Invader version of Chip and Dale.
Let’s get an autograph!

A’hemm…


OK, so picture this: we’re in Tomorrowland…
We’ve got time but are unwilling to spend it all in the SM standby queue…
So, now what?

Well the boys decided that…
“This situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.”
And they were just the guys to do it…


It was time for a turn through Stitch’s Great Escape.


Really?


Yep, that’s what they felt needed to be done. I did give that one a shot once, and once was plenty good enough for me quite frankly. As such, we told them “Hay y’all enjoy yourselves, we’ll be riding the TTA”. It was agreed that we’d meet back up at the picnic tables over there near where TTA’s exit happened to be and then we each went our separate ways. This separate ways thing is something that would start becoming more common as the trip worked its way through the rest of our stay in D’World.


I’ve always liked the Tomorrowland Transit Authority. It’s far from the height of thrills, but it’s mightily relaxing and generally loads and gets moving pretty quickly. At this time of the evening, with lots of folks also headed off to start grabbing spots to see Wishes, getting on was nothing more than a short walk to the first available car. In fact, I believe we had one entire train to ourselves. That’s kind’s cool actually. One thing about the TTA at night, the scenery may be the same but with the sky dark and all the lights on it looks completely different…

Another thing that happens is that since your eyes don’t have to adjust to moving in and out of the bright sunlight, you can actually see some of the stuff that gets displayed along the way more clearly.

Like, Walt’s original thoughts for Epcot…

Or the inside of The Space Ranger Spin…

While we were winding our way through the future, we even got to see some fireworks…

Whishes had cranked up over by the castle. Obviously there was no way we’d get over there in time to make it worth our while. So once we got to the end of the line we scrounged up some seats at one of those picnic tables at the foot of the TTC tower. And settled in to watch the rest of the show.

Hay, off kilter Wishes, beats out no Wishes and besides...



Explosions!



Need I really say more?


I thought not…

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Discovering new Frontiers…





Pretty much on cue, the guys showed up at our table just as the last couple of shells detonated. We figured that we’d pretty much knocked out this side of the park and that just maybe it was time we got back around to our initial Plan-A: an assault on the Frontier.

Traveling through the Hub right after Wishes had just finished up seemed to be a bad idea, so we headed around the back side of the park through Fantasyland and onward until we reached…

Big Thunder Mountain



And the best part…
The wait was under twenty minutes.
Now during the high summer, that cannot be beat.
I love this ride. It’s one of my favorites on property. I like mine train type coasters to begin with, but between the theming and the track layout in general, this one is mighty hard to top.
I mean, just look at it…

Oh, wait… you weren’t supposed to see that. I meant: lookie here…

Yea, that image might also be have been purloined (not that I’m admitting that there could have been anything underhanded about how I acquired the photo of the blueprints back there). Oh wait you weren’t supposed to see those in the first place so just disregard that last sentence if you please.

Might be time to change the subject.
Hummmm…


Oh I know, how about discussing bonus time!
You see the park was supposed to be closing at eleven that night (according to our records at least) and we figured that we weren’t going to get whole lot more done due to that fact. But it was as we were boarding the mine train that one of the CM’s mentioned that they would be open until midnight. Don’t remember how we got on to the subject but I do remember that our general reaction to this bit of clandestine information was something along the lines of…



Whooooooo!



You know, that back of your throat, top of your lungs kind of “whooo” sound that drunken South’ners are stereotypically known for producing at random intervals. Something that was long ago referred to as the “Rebel Yell” but now goes by the moniker of “Redneck Holler”. There’s a reason why it’s become a stereotype…
We all pretty much do it when we’re intoxicated.

And at the moment we were intoxicated by the acquisition of that most precious of Disney commodities…

Time.



On the way out of BTMRR, we stopped and grabbed a set of passes to return. We almost assuredly wouldn’t need them, but it didn’t hurt to grab them just in case. The next thing we encountered was the Parade.

Again.



It was just about to get underway and would be clogging up all of Frountierland once more. To get away from that mess we hit the walkway along the banks of the Rivers of America bound for Liberty Square and a Dis meet up with 99 happy haunts.

As we were walking toward the queue for the Mansion, Tam decided to see if she could get one of the CMs to play with her just a bit. A young lady in the requisite long Victorian dress and pallid makeup happened to be right where the ropes were set up separating the folks waiting for the parade from those headed for the spooks. So Tam naively asked her, “Which way to the Haunted Mansion”. The girl just lookd at us like we were a bunch of clueless Southern hicks. Well, ok, maybe she was right about that bit but it’s obviously not the answer we’d learned over time to expect. The stock retort should have been a dead-paned recitation of: “dead ahead”. But then again, not every CM will consent to or even like playing along with every known or semi-known game that the guests wish to play.

Eh, such is life.


In any case our return to Spooksvile was just as entertaining as it had been a few days before. Just as it would be if we get the chance to go back again. When we had finished up that ride and passed by the little pet cemetery on the way out we noticed that the parade was now in full swing. This led us to duck into and through one of the shops to get around the mass of people.

That decision dumped us out into the far west end of Fantasyland.

Do y’all know what resides in this particular part of the park?
I’m sure you do, but just as a bit of a visual cue let me toss out this next image…

Yep…

Small World



There aren’t many folks sitting on the fence about this one.
You either love it or hate it.

I – let’s say - don’t particularly love it.


But I do love my baby girl (I mean that’s why I married her in the first place, well that and ‘cause she lowered her standards down to the point where I actually even had a shot with her to begin with).
Anyway, as I was saying, I do love her, and she actually likes IASW.

You know what that means, right?


Right, it was time to test my nerves (or was that acquire a nervous tick) and hop on the boat. Hay, at least it’s a boat. Besides, I drank the Kool-Aid long ago, I can tough this out, right?
Well, am I right?

Besides, putting up a fight would have been as futile a gesture as the one Don Quixote was making up there by tilting at windmills.


Once we survived that Walt classic, I noticed something unusual (that is something other than the new nervous twitches I had suddenly picked up in my right eye and left shoulder). As it happens, directly across the way from Ear-Worm Central there is another classic Walt inspired dark-ride…


Peter Pan’s Flight



That’s common knowledge and not specifically unusual in and of itself,

But this is…

That… is an empty queue.

For a major classic attraction.

The posted weight time was 5 minutes.

We couldn’t pass that up, now could we?


So in about as much time as it takes to sneeze from being dowsed in a good dose of Pixie Dust, we were aboard you own personal flying ships suspended over top of the various iconic scenes of London and Neverland taken directly from a tale we’ve all known since childhood.



Chalk that one up as a win.





= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
The Difference between Tired and Tuckered



As we were winding our way around out of Fantasyland and back toward the Mansion, it occurred to us that the clocks were fast approaching the witching hour; time to get a move on. Given that realization, we high-tailed it back toward the Frontier and one last shot at a spin though the abandoned mining town of Tumbleweed aboard a possessed steam locomotive…

The return to our favorite mountain was a roaring success, but a bittersweet conquest.
Time was up.

No more extra Magic.

With no other options available at this point, it was time to begin the walk back toward the front of the park.
Along with the rest of the rabble.


The stroll took us through Adventureland, around the Hub and back down Main Street.
Back from when’st we came…

One last look back…

And it was time to call it a day.
And a dang fine one at that.


Now, earlier in this day, while we were enjoying diner, over at one of the other tables in the room there was a young’en of the toddler persuasion that was in the midst of a fairly significant meltdown. Toncy noted that he need not be putting up such a fuss being as he was at “The Happies Place on Earth”. I said, ehhh… he’s just tired, and tired is a bad state for little ones. It’s the tired ones in need of a bit of a nap that will offer up those kinds of shenanigans. When asked why he didn’t just fall asleep if that was the case, I pointed out that it was because we wasn’t tuckered. Were he truly tuckered out, he’d done been asleep in somebody’s lap or across someone’s shoulder, but the merely tired still have enough energy to fight.


Now why did I tell y’all that unnecessary and unrelated story?
(other than simply to annoy you that is)


Well, as we were boarding the ferry for the trip across the Seven Sea’s Lagoon and back to the TTC, everyone pretty much flopped down on the nearest bench. Max in particular was completely spent. Head drooping, shoulders slumped, that unmistakable hang-dog expression, he was done. Toncy gave me a little nudge and shot a glance over toward his friend and said something like “look who’s tired out now”.


I responded, “nope… that there is what tuckered looks like”.


Truth is we were all close to that zombie-esk state. But at that point I noticed a young lady with a stroller and several bags-o-stuff who had boarded the ship just as they were about to pull up the ramp. Now this girl was tuckered out to the point of near tears and with a hint of exasperation in her eyes.
Only one thing to do in a case like that…
Offer up my spot on the bench.


She protested a bit, sayin’ “no I couldn’t…”

Stopped her right there, got my lazy rump up and ushered her to the spot. She offered up a proper thanks as she settled in and the commenced to lean on the stroller handle for a bit of a blessed break.



Now I was beat too, but I had a secret weapon.

I was on a ship!


And there is little that makes me happier than that. Why was I sitting in the first place when I could be manning the rails watching the water and absorbing the views…

Ahhhhh…
That’s better.


Between the sites and the breeze I was nearly rejuvenated.

Soon enough we’d be rescuing our car back from Zurg’s evil clutches, and then heading over to our home base in the Bayou (by way of the dining hall to make sure everyone had a nice big cup full of their favorite beverage for the evening). And in no time after that we’d collectively be fallin’ into a pretty deep state of slumber.


But for now, right at that moment…


I was plenty content to be standing just a little longer while watching the evening lights of the Grand and the Polly flicker and shimmer off the waters as we made our way across.

”It’s been a good day Tater…”






Next up: Laziness
(Oh, and the boys may get into a bit of mini-golf)

​

 

[EastYorkDisneyFan]

I don't think it's necessary to apologize for continuing to post o a old TR sometimes it's fun to look back and have fun trying to construct one from your old pictures. That being said I have some instructions to pass on to Agent X "fortsæt til Agneta og udføre en række femten på hans sekretær sørge for, at papegøjen ikke se det."

sorry for the interruption in boring your TR to pass on vital information.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

I don't think it's necessary to apologize for continuing to post o a old TR sometimes it's fun to look back and have fun trying to construct one from your old pictures. That being said I have some instructions to pass on to Agent X "fortsæt til Agneta og udføre en række femten på hans sekretær sørge for, at papegøjen ikke se det."

sorry for the interruption in boring your TR to pass on vital information.

Ahhhhh yes, Number-15…
my second favorite secretarial maneuver.


You are a trustworthy agent, and quite patient.

Ja ću se vratiti u Pijemont , a zatim putuje u trske brejk .
vrijeme je da se pusti pse labav. Cilj: brat lisica .
Ne brinite o našim pernatim prijatelju , ja sam otpremio Python


Psittacine mortuus est

 

[Captain_Oblivious]

Looks like you snuck in an update way back when that somehow slipped past my defenses. I guess I'd better get caught up there.

I’ve seen Illuminations many times and always enjoy the show. It has one of the stronger musical soundtracks of Disney’s fireworks extravaganzas. It gets a bit overwrought and squishy in the middle section, but returns to the proper levels of excitement and intensity in the third stanza.

Agreed on all counts. Just too much time on the spinny globe.

The wind was coming directly toward us so all the low acrid smoky remnants of each combustion event were rolling directly into our faces. We could at least smell and cough through all of the imagery that we were otherwise unable to see clearly.

So you had that going for you, which is nice.

One thing I wish we (or anyone else for that matter) could have also done was to catch the river boat tour of the Rhine.

Would have loved to see that one become a reality.

Another ride out in the WS would certainly have been a bonus. So would a new pavilion, but I digress.

The spy missions help, but yeah, it would be nice.

But only because, the phones don’t work anymore.

Low and behold, they let us in the door.

Once down the stairs we were again surprised to see that the stand by entrance was similarly unfettered.

We walked right in and not a sole attempted to stop us

Whoa. Clearly your cloaking device was operational.

“Can I swap snack credits for a fast pass then?” , he replied.
(OK,. I’ll admit that one was right funny at the time)


“If you do it, I promise I'll never go back to universal!”
(As we were already laughing, that line just added to the merriment.)

Do Not Read This TR

Dang it! NOW you tell me.

So there it is.
I’ve set myself a task and a goal. I’ve released all y’all of any responsibility for aiding, abetting, or otherwise contributing to the farther delinquency of an unstable individual. Now all that remains is for me to actually “Dis Up” and get the job done.

Looks like you're doing an admirable job so far. Nothing like a deadline to get things moving.

I quickly surveyed to room and noted that the boys hadn’t even flinched. Not a millimeter of movement. Shocking to imagine that a couple of teens would have a hard time gettin’ going in the morning, huh?

You've gotta warn me before you drop bombshells like that.

What I should have done was head straight over to AK and gotten something breakfast-ish for the two of us at one of the myriad kiosks and QS counters in the park.

Next time, I'm sure you'll get it right.

It didn’t say something like: “good morning”…

Nor: “Hay we’re ready, could you please come get us”…

And certainly not: “Tell mom I love her”…


Nope.
Just: “Will you bring our cups back?”

You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander.

Along the way I hear two members of the “lot brigade” discussing with some consternation the fact that: “we’re already out to Giraffe”.

Not a good sign.

Note just how thick the sea of humanity is?
That’s what the folks out in the parking lot were actually on about.

Now the last thing that the guides will explain is that it would take a while to finish the whole book as it’s really a multi-day activity.

Good to know--that seems like an important piece of information!

Or… you can cheat and copy the info down from the handy board hanging over the kiosk…

Very imaginative.

And even with the compressed time format, they tell the whole story right faithfully.

Also good to know! That's still my favorite Pixar movie.

Depending on how the car is loaded and the weight distribution of the passengers, the result is that the bottom half of the ride can get right disorienting.
So much so that the boss won’t have anything to do with it (and I really can’t blame her).

Sounds like at least one of you has some sense.

No, more importantly (at this moment at least) this corner of the AK possesses one of the single best counter service restaurants in all of Da’World. Being as the boys had basically skipped breakfast and we were by any measure, famished…

it was time to channel the voracious carnivore deep within our psyches.
So after a quick detour to grab a set of fast passes that promised future visions of the catastrophic end of the Cretaceous…

We charted a course straight for the Flame Tree.

Excellent choice!!

I can actually spend a great deal of time here just drinking in the scenery (and devouring the smoky goodness from the kitchens).

Referred to as a “dynamic ride vehicle” in all the patents (and there are many) these were first developed for the “Indiana Jones Adventure” over at the mother ship of theme parks, Disneyland (somewhere I desperately need to visit at some point).

Oh, I can tell you all about that...

Being themed now to promote a kid friendly film, it was anticipated that more young’ens would be drawn to the attraction.

So the next time you find yourself being flung around like a rag doll while hurtling through a primeval jungle and dodging meteor fragments, consider that this bone jarring experience use to be a good bit more intense.

"Kid-friendly" is not the first adjective that comes to mind for that ride.

We’re boarding a “train” that will attempt to take us up “Forbidden Mountain” on the way toward Everest.
But as you know, that doesn’t go so well and no one ever actually reaches Everest.

I suspect that one or two of you may be shocked once more by this revelation.

Why even bother, then? What's the point?

When PT Barnum encountered a problem with traffic flow in his great Museum of the Americas he devised an intriguing method of convincing folks to move on and as such make room for more suckers… errr… guests to enter the facility. He posted a sign similar to the one above near the last exhibit. This would lead folks that didn’t know better (which sadly was most of ‘em) toward what they believed was something else new and amazing but instead was simply the back door. Where there were also guards who would ensure that there’d be no reentry at that point.

Worked a treat.

Pure evil, I tell ya.

It’ll look good next to that bottle cap of grape soda pined to my uniform.

Ah, the Ellie badge. Highly coveted.

(oh heck, let’s just call it Disney’s money, their gonn’a take most all of it anyway)

Truth.

A hand washing and a bit more trudging later and we were back on one of WDW’s charabancs (yes, I said charabanc)

Heh. He said "charabanc".

I was forced to lower myself down to the pitiable position of being one of “those guys”. You know these losers; the ones that end up hitting the “panic button” on their key fob so as to obtain an audio queue as to the current location of their lost ride.

It's not the first time that has happened, though, is it?

It is entirely possible that the grownups immediately spiked said beverages with a healthy splash of rum and collapsed onto the bed and into the chairs. It’s also conceivable that the young’ens made a bee line for Ol’ Man Isle and a good dunk in the feature pool. But the one certifiable fact was that all of us had moved directly into chill mode and would remain there until the sun began to mercifully relinquish its ferocious grip on the day.

Neither seems to be a bad plan in the least.

But we always come back home.
Back to Disney.

We’re busted that way.

I wouldn't necessarily call it "busted".

My employer interrupted our down time.


Since moving into my current job, I have yet to take an extended vacation where I didn’t get called at least once in the middle of any time off by someone from the office back home. It’s bad enough that their demands already limit when I can travel to small windows of only a few days in only a few of the months of the calendar, but they seem intent on invading even that small amount of family time.




This call went basically the same as all previous variants:

They wanted me to work on something;

I remind them that I’m on vacation;

They say well it’s just this one thing;

I say that I’ll dig my laptop out and head off to find a spot on property where I can get a decent WiFi signal and that I’ll probably have whatever it is ready in an hour or two;

They say: can’t you just do it faster ‘cause, they’ve leaving for the day in a little bit;

I say I’ll do the work but I can’t guarantee the elapsed time required;

They say never mind I can just do it once I return back to the office…



Well if it could’a waited, then why in the heck did you invade my sanctuary in the first place!


Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggg!


I may need another drink.

Urge to kill...rising...

Common wisdom suggests that when the parades are going on, it tends to draw a lot of the crowds away from the major attractions and wait times should drop a noticeable bit within that little time window. Now I’ve seen this work and had many folks confirm that they too have witnessed such phenomena, but the 90 minute wait time for Space Mountain just wasn’t bearing that paradigm out. Either we’d encountered an exception to the rule or worse, it had worked and the standby for SM had dropped considerably from some astronomical figure down to a more “reasonable” 90 minutes.

Dang it! The secret is out!

One of these days I’d even like to be gloriously elevated to the ranks of “That Guy”, but this time out, such was not to be.

This is a life-long aspiration of mine as well.

When the MK first opened this was the home of “If You Had Wings”, an offering sponsored by now defunct Eastern Airlines.

And also the source of another earworm.

Take a look at this copy of the original plans which we stol…
errrr…
acquired via completely acceptable and legal means (no, really they just fell into our lap… honest)…
which illustrate the layout of the show building as it was opened in 1972:

I was wondering how you kept finding these things.

To test out the potential effects on the hardware the story goes that one night after closing they pulled one of the cups off of the Mad Tea Party, bolted in place of one of the flight buggies and then tried their best to break the system. Don’t know if it’s true, but it’s a good story and I rather like the image of a couple of Imagineers spinning themselves till they puke while rolling through the old “Wings” ride in the middle of the night.

It's too good of a story to bother looking up and checking.

Scores?

You want to know who won?

Well I guess it would be right Un-America if we didn’t declare a looser now wouldn’t it.

Actually, it seems to be more American lately to declare everyone a winner.

It was time for a turn through Stitch’s Great Escape.

Said no one, ever.

I’ve always liked the Tomorrowland Transit Authority.

Me too!

Hay, off kilter Wishes, beats out no Wishes and besides...



Explosions!



Need I really say more?

Nope, we're good here.

I love this ride. It’s one of my favorites on property.

How could it not be?

But it was as we were boarding the mine train that one of the CM’s mentioned that they would be open until midnight. Don’t remember how we got on to the subject but I do remember that our general reaction to this bit of clandestine information was something along the lines of…



Whooooooo!

Yep…

Small World



There aren’t many folks sitting on the fence about this one.
You either love it or hate it.

I – let’s say - don’t particularly love it.

You are a stronger man than I.

That… is an empty queue.

For a major classic attraction.

The posted weight time was 5 minutes.

We couldn’t pass that up, now could we?

I don't think I've ever seen Peter Pan look like that. Ever.

Truth is we were all close to that zombie-esk state. But at that point I noticed a young lady with a stroller and several bags-o-stuff who had boarded the ship just as they were about to pull up the ramp. Now this girl was tuckered out to the point of near tears and with a hint of exasperation in her eyes.
Only one thing to do in a case like that…
Offer up my spot on the bench.


She protested a bit, sayin’ “no I couldn’t…”

Stopped her right there, got my lazy rump up and ushered her to the spot. She offered up a proper thanks as she settled in and the commenced to lean on the stroller handle for a bit of a blessed break.

Nice work upholding the Man Laws.

 

[GoofyIsAsGoofyDoes]

Looks like you snuck in an update way back when that somehow slipped past my defenses. I guess I'd better get caught up there.

Trust me…
I’ll not be fussin’ at you about being caught up on something.

Besides, I don’t have enough readers to be shooing any of ‘em off.

Agreed on all counts. Just too much time on the spinny globe.

You’re getting sleepy… very… sleepy…

So you had that going for you, which is nice.

All part of Disney’s push to add an olfactory element to every attraction

Would have loved to see that one become a reality.

Very much so.
I still don’t understand exactly why they haven’t added more pavilions and/or attraction out in the WS. It’s not like they ain’t makin money as a whole. Heck I’ve paid them enough to finance at least one ride vehicle on some kind of new attraction. If it were a church, there’d be a new pew in the sanctuary replete with a brass plaque thanking my family for their continuing gifts.

The spy missions help, but yeah, it would be nice.

Those didn’t show up in the parks until my boy was way too old to be seen doing them. I’m now so old that folks already consider me senile, which means that I ought to try my hand at a couple of them next time I get down that way.

One more bit of hidden magic that has been banished to Yesterland

Whoa. Clearly your cloaking device was operational.

Make it so number one.

Dang it! NOW you tell me.

You’ve been warned several times, and yet you fail to head the advice.
Most everyone else does…
What’s your major malfunction?

Looks like you're doing an admirable job so far. Nothing like a deadline to get things moving.

Truth.

Also, I’m cheating a mite. I sat down last month and wrote out all of the remaining chapters before deciding to resurrect the thread. Now I’m just waiting a few days between updates to see if any one actually wants to read or comment. It is more fun when folks play along (of course it helps if your actually entertaining or have something interesting to say).

You've gotta warn me before you drop bombshells like that.

“Here are your winnings sir…””

Next time, I'm sure you'll get it right.

I could leave the kids hanging.
Convincing DW to allow me to leave them hanging…
That might be tougher a tougher sell.

You may dispense with the pleasantries, Commander.

“Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them.”

Not a good sign.

Yah… I don’t always heed warnings either.

Good to know--that seems like an important piece of information!

Also good to know! That's still my favorite Pixar movie.

I too like Nemo a lot as well. I also recommend the show to those willing to listen.
Not to those that hate stopping for shows of course, but otherwise…

Sounds like at least one of you has some sense.

And this surprises you because…

Excellent choice!!

Mmmmmmmmm…
Barbeque

Oh, I can tell you all about that...

Sorry ‘bout that Chief.
I did warn you not to read this TR though.

"Kid-friendly" is not the first adjective that comes to mind for that ride.

Agreed.
Still trying to imagine what “more intense” must have entailed.

Why even bother, then? What's the point?

To ride a runaway train…
In the Dark…
Backwards…


Oh and wave at the Disco Yeti as you get dropped down the big hill.

Pure evil, I tell ya.

Ol’ Phineas was a wily cuss, that’s for sure.

Ah, the Ellie badge. Highly coveted.

None more so.

Truth.

It’s a known fact.

Heh. He said "charabanc".

I’ve also been known to say “omnibus.”

It's not the first time that has happened, though, is it?

In a Disney Parking lot… no.
To me?... sadly… yes

Neither seems to be a bad plan in the least.

They both have their merits.
Now if it just weren’t against the house rules to take the drinks with you into the pools…

I wouldn't necessarily call it "busted".

Demented, maybe then?
Loopy? Loony? Slaphappy?

Or perhaps:
A few bricks short of a load
A couple sandwiches shy of a picnic
One fry short of a Happy Meal
Crazier than a sprayed roach

Urge to kill...rising...

I do believe our respective employers are each workin’ from a similar play book.

Dang it! The secret is out!

That’s the bad thing about secrets…

This is a life-long aspiration of mine as well.

We can still dream about it though.

And also the source of another earworm.

Honestly don’t remember that one.
It’s been a while

I was wondering how you kept finding these things.

What things? I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.
Any farther inqueries will have to be forwarded through our ambasador.

It's too good of a story to bother looking up and checking.

Facts interfere with stories
They’re not to be trusted.

Actually, it seems to be more American lately to declare everyone a winner.

In the child rearing realm, too much so.

But as a nation, historically we’ve much in common with the Romans.
We may likes us some mighty battles,
But we love to see someone get defeated.

Said no one, ever.

See… now at the time they were ones acting crazier than a sprayed roach

Me too!

It's a grand opportunity to sit back and say: Ahhhhhhh…

Nope, we're good here.

I suspected that’d be the case.

How could it not be?

I ask that same question of folks that beg to differ.

Whooooooo!

You are a stronger man than I.

You’d ride if Julie asked directly.
(and you know it)

I don't think I've ever seen Peter Pan look like that. Ever.

I don’t believe I had either.
Stuned me to the point where you could'a whacked me like a pinata and I'd never have realized it.

Nice work upholding the Man Laws.

Well…
I do have the one from 2012 that ain’t quite finished either…
But since that one don’t involve Disney, I’m using one of those loops holes that Andy say you should always make room for to not pay that one any mind just yet.

 

[EastYorkDisneyFan]

Ahhhhh yes, Number-15…
my second favorite secretarial maneuver.


You are a trustworthy agent, and quite patient.

Ja ću se vratiti u Pijemont , a zatim putuje u trske brejk .
vrijeme je da se pusti pse labav. Cilj: brat lisica .
Ne brinite o našim pernatim prijatelju , ja sam otpremio Python


Psittacine mortuus est

yes all very interesting Personally I fin the number 15 rather messy I like number 13 better but alas we can't ask the secretary what she likes. ut turdi, gallus pulsat quarto mensis quinti

 

[afwdwfan]

You’ve drunk the Kool-Aid.

And it was damn good!

But we always come back home.
Back to Disney.

We’re busted that way.

As far as addictions go... it's a pretty safe one.

When something happened that has gotten to be another one of our Disney trip traditions…


My employer interrupted our down time.

Just do what I do. If you don't have a working phone, how will they ever reach you?

Well if it could’a waited, then why in the heck did you invade my sanctuary in the first place!


Aaaaaaaaaarrrrrgggggg!

Common wisdom suggests that when the parades are going on, it tends to draw a lot of the crowds away from the major attractions and wait times should drop a noticeable bit within that little time window. Now I’ve seen this work and had many folks confirm that they too have witnessed such phenomena, but the 90 minute wait time for Space Mountain just wasn’t bearing that paradigm out.

That's because they're funneling everyone in that direction.

To test out the potential effects on the hardware the story goes that one night after closing they pulled one of the cups off of the Mad Tea Party, bolted in place of one of the flight buggies and then tried their best to break the system. Don’t know if it’s true, but it’s a good story and I rather like the image of a couple of Imagineers spinning themselves till they puke while rolling through the old “Wings” ride in the middle of the night.

It plays to my sense of the ridiculous.

That would be hilarious to see!!

That only leaves my score…

Well…

What were we talking about again?

That bad, huh? I guess we shouldn't be surprised. Did you at least hit 5 digits on the score?

Well the boys decided that…
“This situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody's part.”
And they were just the guys to do it…


It was time for a turn through Stitch’s Great Escape.


Really?

Um... who was drinking the rum infused drinks?

While we were winding our way through the future, we even got to see some fireworks…

Bonus TTA fireworks!!!

Hay, off kilter Wishes, beats out no Wishes and besides...



Explosions!

Big Thunder Mountain



And the best part…
The wait was under twenty minutes.
Now during the high summer, that cannot be beat.
I love this ride. It’s one of my favorites on property. I like mine train type coasters to begin with, but between the theming and the track layout in general, this one is mighty hard to top.
I mean, just look at it…

And nothing beats a night ride!!!

I – let’s say - don’t particularly love it.

Yeah, I hear ya.

Once we survived that Walt classic

But this is why it is still a must do on my list. I might not be crazy about that earworm... but it is a ride Walt was passionate about. I'm a nostalgic sucker.

Peter Pan’s Flight



That’s common knowledge and not specifically unusual in and of itself,

But this is…



That… is an empty queue.

For a major classic attraction.

The posted weight time was 5 minutes.

Wow!!! How on Earth did that ever happen???

The return to our favorite mountain was a roaring success, but a bittersweet conquest.
Time was up.

No more extra Magic.

But you sure made the most of it!

Now why did I tell y’all that unnecessary and unrelated story?
(other than simply to annoy you that is)

Because you're about to have a meltdown?

Now this girl was tuckered out to the point of near tears and with a hint of exasperation in her eyes.
Only one thing to do in a case like that…
Offer up my spot on the bench.

MANLAW upheld.