Part 2: Living a Triple Life
There’s the face that you show the everyday folks.
And there’s the face that you show to those that you know and trust.
But then there’s the one that you keep to yourself.
That one that you don’t admit to.
The one that doesn’t fit into that nice safe mold that everyone has you pegged into.
That third self that you may even try to keep at bay
But the truth is still there.
We’re all living a Triple Life.
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Meanwhile, Back at the Bayou…
While the guys were off on their duffing expedition, the grownups (you know, those boring folks that are always laying down the rules and regulations and generally making life miserable for anyone that still has possession of their youth), well those folks – us that is - we had other things to attend to. The first item on that agenda of “other things” was an additional bit of housekeeping.
Laundry Detail
(well, it’s nice to have plenty of clean socks and britches during an extended field-op now ain’t it?)
Yeah, the boys were about as unimpressed with that notion as the rest of you.
Thus their departure from the scene
Their absence though would allow me to concentrate more fully on my master plan…
A return to being inactive.
(at least that’s the face that I was going to show to the regular rabble)
Now it is true that we did collect up a bag full of necessities and it is true that we did actually drop them into a washing machine along with the requisite hand full of quarters and a bit of detergent. But just as quickly we abandoned the machinery to perform its appointed tasks. In actual fact, laundry was really no more than a cover for our true objective for the afternoon…
Tall drinks and some alone time.
(and there’s the face that one generally shows only their trusted comrades)
When located at Port Orleans Riverside…
there are several locations where one can acquire a competent potent potable
(at Disney prices to be sure, but that’s an accepted fact among those of us that chose to spend time here.)
But for our purposes, the spot that beckoned is known as…
Muddy Rivers
Located near the feature pool and in the heart of Ol’ Man Island, this unassuming open air tavern happens to be closest to our base camp.
Score one.
We strolled over to collect up our libations, found ourselves a fine little table in corner of the expansive porch and proceeded to take in the calm.
Traveling to this spot also gave me a chance to grab a few images of some of the other amenities this part of the resort will make available to you…
The Prospective Future Guest
First off, there’s the
Fishing Hole…
You can bring you own rod and reel or they’ll rent you enough gear to get started.
There’s the “Campfire on the Island” that is lit each evening for those that wish to gather round, coffee and hot chocolate in hand and reminisce about their exploits
(there are often CMs in the area with the fixins required to make s’mores as well) …
And of course the ubiquitous Hot tub…
(Had to borrow that image, don’t know why I forgot to snap a picture, but I didn’t.)
From our table in the corner we also had a good view of the playground.
Which was being ignored at the time…
And that was a fact which just added to the perceived serenity of our location.
From here we also had another fine view of the main feature pool for the property.
It was just far enough off from where we were sitting that the sequels and hollers weren’t much of an intrusion and yet we could still clearly hear the sound of all the water pouring from the overhead flumes and spillways down into the pool below.
And that means that y’all get another look at what I’m on about here…
Very relaxing…
Or was that just the drinks talking?
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A Return to the Dark Side
(eventually that is…)
Let’s see now, drinks consumed, laundry detail finished up, the boys have arrived back from their expedition no worse for wear, mandatory daily deluge of central Florida rain in progress
(cracks of thunder and lightning included this time)…
That pretty much ticks off all the other events that transpired prior to our relapse and return to the Dark Side…
Our distinctly non Disney side…
(And there’s that third face that we generally try to hide from everyone else)
Other than a quick stop for a bit of diner at the Riverside Mill, we were once again headed off property.
Wellllllll…
There was one other thing that occurred before we got started.
We lost a phone.
More specifically, Toncy lost his phone.
At first it was assumed that said communications device was merely under a bed or stuffed in a bag or buried beneath one of the many piles of clothes or junk that had taken over the young’ens side of the room. Max even sent him a few text messages to see if we could hear approximately where the thing might be hiding.
While all this was going on it occurred to Toncy that he just might…
Now I said “might”, mind you…
Might have left it sitting on the bus they’d just ridden back from their outing.
Really?
Left it on the bus?
Really?
That was Max’s reaction, at least.
He sent a couple more texts and tried to call it directly just to ensure that the thing was not within earshot and then it was time for a Plan-B.
“What should I do now”, was the question asked next.
I busted into the resort directory to find the numbers for the front desk and lost and found. I then handed those over to the guys with instructions to start here and figure it out for themselves.
They’re more than old enough to work this one out.
And they actually did.
It turns out that
*a* phone
*was* found on the bus in question and even turned in to the driver. The device hadn’t yet made its way to Lost and Found but when it did, they’d confirm that it matched the type, model and description given and if so, then they’d send it on to the concierge desk at our resort.
All we had to do was check back in later to see if all of this sending and receiving actually occurred.
(Disney once more going the extra mile for their guests)
OK, that’s enough drama.
Let’s get back to the mission at hand.
We piled into the car again for our third trip off property this week and second assault on
Universal Studio’s Islands of Adventure.
The only problem now was that the rain which had begun back in the late afternoon was still coming down.
Worse yet, it was quite steady and even gaining strength.
Well…
So be it.
We actually intended to get a little wet this evening anyway.
So much so was the intention that the guys (me included) wore bathing suits rather than shorts and brought a change of clothes. We just weren’t intending to get that wet or do so this early in the mission. So for the most part, all was good. I was worried only about Tamara who really had only intended to watch us make fools of ourselves from a safe distance. But she assured me that so long as she had an umbrella, it’d all work out.
Alright then... we're gonn'a get wet, so let’s get on with it.
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Forbidden
From the Universal Parking garage, our primary destination was just about as far away as one could possibly be when infiltrating USO-IOA. So we had plenty of time to get mightily soaked to the bone; everyone except Tamara of course. She did bring her umbrella while the rest of us didn’t even bust out even so much as a poncho.
But once the decision was made, we no longer cared about the impact.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, we were bound for Hogsmead.
It was time for us to finally take on the biggest baddest ride in all of the Big-O
(at least at the time)
Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey
As of now, there is nothing “exactly” like this at Disney. But if you were to combine three of the attractions currently resident at - say - Epcot in particular, you’d end up with pretty much what’s going on here.
The three I have in mind are:
The Sum of All Thrills
Soarin’
and *ahem*
Journey into Imagination
Now hold on, hold on…
stick with me here, while I work through this.
The main working part of the ride is an “Enchanted Bench” for us Muggles to ride on because we’d never be able to keep up with the magical folks any other way (being Muggles and all). This contraption is basically a row of four seats with coaster style harnesses (think RnRRC for the harness) that is attached to a robotic arm. It’s that robot bit of the equation where things are similar to - The Sum of All Thrills – And that attraction uses a similar robot. In fact, it uses one that is made by the same manufacturer: KUKA Robotics (so it counts as a precursor to Forbidden Journey). The difference here is that these robots ain’t stationary.
They’re each attached to self-propelled dolly.
Of course, the robot/dolly combination is behind you and you never see it.
Unless you’re reading my TR.
‘Cause then you do get to see it.
First off, there’s the benches in the loading area of the attraction.
Note that there is basically a wall of mirrors behind them to hide the business end of the contraption.
Well here’s what the business end looks like…
Impressive…
Now that they’ve got you strapped into the thing, it becomes a classic Dark Ride. And that’s where it’s similar to - Journey into Imagination. Actually I could have chosen nearly any of the dark rides on Disney property, but that one happened to also be at Epcot and sorely needs at least some type of positive press (really it needs a complete makeover – maybe to something like Forbidden Journey…. Hummmmm). Now, as I was saying, this is where it becomes more of a dark ride (albeit on steroids); one filled with fantastical sets, animatronic critters, and beasties and even water, wind and smoke effects. And all the while you’re being thrust around, in and amongst the various settings by that robot you can’t see.
Here’s a look at the basic plans for the show building to give you an idea of what going on here
Hay, I’m an equal opportunity clandestine intelligence operative…
I’ll steal from both sides
Now there is a third element to this. Along the path of the ride and interspersed among the various hard-scape set pieces, there are also several concave projection screens that you’re “enchanted bench” will be thrust into. This is where the ride resembles - Soarin’ - to a great degree. The images projected in these as you move through them are designed to heighten the sensations of flight and speed in the same way that Disney’s’ hang glider analog does, and it’s quite effective in the task.
The contraption as a whole is referred to as a “Robocoaster” by those in “The Biz” and this new titan has been changing the game since it first opened in June of 2010. As you can see from the descriptions back there, in truth it’s not a coaster at all (although there are planes I’ve heard of that would attempt to combine the robotic workings of this with a steal coaster of some type… scary thought there). It does twist you, turn you, shake you and swing you around as far as being completely vertical on your back, but does not ever actually turn anyone upside down (as of yet as least). So basically - while it’s not a speed demon (though it mocks that aspect pretty well) - it certainly doesn’t lack for instilled excitement
(or terror depending on the temperament of the rider in question).
So what did we actually think about the thing?
Can’t wait to do that again sometime!
Our adventure here began by chucking all our belongings into one of the complimentary lockers (and fittingly, one on row 13). From there it was into the queue, most of which was empty seeing as we’d arrived toward the end of the day as most IOA quests were heading out. We were in the serpentines in an area themed as Hogwarts massive greenhouses (which gave us a chance to dry off a bit). Then it into the castle…
First through the portrait hall where you can hear the Founding Wizards arguing with one and other, and then through an amazing representation of Dumbledore’s chambers. Next along the path is the Defense Against the Dark Arts class room where you’ll first encounter some of the major cast of characters (via video screens built in to the scenery). Onward into the Gryffindor Commons room, and then into the final hallway as the Sorting Hat welcomes you and issues a few well-chosen warnings about the dangers you may be facing.
As Queues go, this one is elaborate
(And that may be an understatement).
The next thing you know you’re on a “MK - Haunted Mansion” style moving walk way and being loaded onto your “Enchanted Bench”. From there is all moves very quickly. Encounters with dragons occur right off the bat and then you find yourself flailing around trying to avoid the Whomping Willow (this is one of those point in the journey where you’ll find yourself flat on your back staring at the ceiling before being flung on into the next animatronic infused scene. That scene by the way include Spiders. Lots of ‘em. Bigg’ens too. One of the several incursions into one of the IMAX caliber concave screens will put you in the midst of a Quidich match which is then descended upon by Dementors. Of course Harry and the rest of the crew will be there to help you save both yourself and the day thus allowing for an escape back to the Great Hall inside the castle.
Once ejected from our enchanted benches we were quickly back to row 13 retrieving our “valuables”.
That was so intense that an immediate decision was made…
Even if we didn’t get to anything else here this evening,
We dang well had to do that again.
Tamara, wasn’t quite so sure, but insisted that we go ahead on while she performed a bit of reconnaissance around Olivandre’s and Hogsmead in general (I married well, there is no other way to explain it).
So we hit the queue once more and encountered something amazing. It was a walk on this time. A couple of minutes walking directly to the load area and we were airborne again being shaken about willy-nilly like so many rag dolls.
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Water, Water Everywhere
Now it is common knowledge that Universal doesn’t stay open near as long as - say - a Disney park. You may also have noticed that we didn’t even bother to get here until rather late in the day.
I can hear many of y’all thinking to yourselves…
Hummm, that seems like a waste of both time and money.
Well don’t worry too much about us on this account. We had gotten rather a good deal on a multi-day ticket into both of the USO-IOA parks. We also discussed it at length with the boys and there were pretty satisfied with all that they’d accomplished during our previous incursion and really only want to hit Forbidden Journey (assuming that we even went back at all). This is why we were able to justify all that inactivity at the beginning of the day. Well if they were cool with it, then so was I.
So where were we?
Once we immerged from Hogwarts for the second time we were greeted by the rain in Hogsmead. As our next plan was to get wet in the first place, this was of no consequence. It was time to head on over to…
Toon Lagoon
We had basically ignored this part of IOA during the first skirmish because realistically, it’s pretty much a water park. In truth there are only two major water saturated attractions here (other than a ship themed playground for the tots), but we now intended to hit both of these.
First up…
Dudley Do-Right's Ripsaw Falls
This is a highly themed log flume ride roughly equivalent to Splash Mountain (but considerably wetter). Here the story is based on everyone’s favorite oblivious officer from for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police…
Dudley himself.
The idea being that he once again needs to save Nell from Snidely Whiplash’s evil clutches. The theming, music and animatronics are far superior at Disney, but this version wins out for thrills, drops and of course, ensuring that everyone comes out sopping wet.
As you’d expect, there are a number of drops varying in severity built into this one. But none grander than the actual plummet down the ride’s namesake Rip Saw Falls.
It also has one seriously long queue. Even though there was no one in it to speak of, it was a good stretch of the legs just to wind our way through it before arriving at the final serpentine in the load area (and given the lateness of the day, even this was only about a third full at the time). I do believe that they could stuff three or more hours’ worth of hot sweaty miserable folks in that monster queue without anyone else in the park having an inkling on the horrors going on inside.
Tamara – being considerably smarter than the rest of us – waited outside. Rain or no, she’d end up being far dryer then we would. She did try to catch us as we made the descent, but our little snap camera was being rather uncooperative in this light and weather…
But even from that you can get a good idea of just how soaked one must be willing to get in order to tackle
The Falls.
The next attraction would also end up being be our last for the day.
This one is a wild river type ride (think Kali River Rapids, but seriously wetter) themed for a pair of classic characters and veterans from the days of theater shorts and newsprint…
Popeye & Bluto's Bilge-Rat Barges
Had to borrow that one just so y’all would have an idea of want I was on about here.
Again Tamara tried to get a few pictures of her foolhardy fellas plying the waves and rapids…
But again, you can see that the conditions and equipment available were hindering the attempt.
When we got back to the loading area for this one, there wasn’t a sole in line. Seeing an opportunity, we begged and pleaded the attendant to just let us go around again.
Wish granted…
We got drenched again.
The next time we approached the dock, it was closing time for Islands of Adventure so no amount of pleading or cajoling was getting around for a third circuit.
Enough’s enough.
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Drying Out
For the second time in as many days we were walking nearly alone through a darkened and practically empty park bound for the front gates and garages beyond. Now, at USO this occurs earlier then at Disney and also requires you to tromp through their shopping and party district. That was in full swing still and plenty busy, but we were in no condition to be partaking of any of that noise just now. Instead we trudged on until we got back to our car in the now mostly empty deck.
Here’s where initial planning made things a good sight more tolerable. We’d all brought towels and a change of clothes and left them stowed in the trunk of the car. I wrung out my trunks as best as I could, toweled off the rest of me, changed into a dry shirt and traded the flip-flops for dry shoes. All that was left to do was spread a towel on the driver’s seat and I was good to go.
Max walked through a similar routine, but Toncy felt that our plan just didn’t quite cut it for getting back to a semblance of normalcy. Nope… the damp swim suit had to go as well. So he surveyed the garage up and down, figured that the coast was clear for the moment and dropped trou right there in front of God and everybody.
I really don’t know what I’m gonn’a do with that boy…
As we were heading back to the confines of POR and D’World The boys needed to take care of one other piece of business…
a “Phone” call.
Toncy used Max’s phone to dial up the concierge desk back at Riverside and inquired about his lost phone.
Turns out, they had a device delivered to them a bit earlier from the lost-n-found folks which appeared to match the description of his wayward cell. Furthermore, they’d have it out and ready for him to ID it once we got back over there.
So we stopped by the main building as soon as we got on property…
headed toward the lobby…
and crossed our fingers.
Low and behold,
The phone that they had retrieved off one of their buses that day was indeed the selfsame piece of hardware lost by out compatriot that day…
Needless to say we were all plenty relieved by this turn of events and also quite impressed by the extra mile all of the CMs involved went to in order to make this happen.
Extra Magic to the N’th degree.
As we were headed off to grab some drinks and snacks for the road, Toncy checked over his now regained cell phone and then busted out on a full blow belly laugh.
Obviously we had to inquire as to the source of this sudden bout of mirth.
“Remember when I first lost my phone and I told Max to send me some texts so that we could hear if it was in the room somewhere?”
Yea… I do believe I remember something to that effect…
“Well, he was texting me insults and I just noticed it”
Well, it actually was pretty funny
But you may have had to have been there.
The rest of the evening was comprised of showers, hanging up sopping wet clothes to dry out and - for mom and dad at least - a bit more rum pored over frosty beverages.
The boys headed off toward the fire pit and then on to the hot tub over on Ol’ Man Island to…
“warm up a bit”.
Hay, y’all do it your way, and I’ll do it my way.
It had been another good day.
One filed with a little bit of nothing followed by a good deal of something.
But now it was simply time to call it a day.
We had one more ahead of us and every intention of making the best of it.
Next up: A Battle of Designs
Well… a battle of wits wasn’t really in the cards, now was it?
That drink was stronger than normal wasn't it?
They were focusing on power and didn't go with the Plasma Burner???? Rookies... 
