Talk me out of getting a dog (please)

[Mickey'snewestfan]

We're moving into an apartment that allows pets, and DS8 really really really wants a dog. He's been talking about it for a long time, and to be honest I think it would be great for him. However, I'm also pretty sure that us getting a dog wouldn't be fair to the animal. Here's my situation:

1) Single mom, one child, 2 bedroom apartment
2) Hoping to adopt a second baby, toddler or preschooler within the next few years.
3) I work long hours, DS is involved in a lot of sports etc . . . -- we're probably gone from home 7:45 till 7:00 most weekdays, I might be able to shave that a bit, but not much.
4) Money is an issue. I'm confident that I could afford food and regular vet care, but I have several friends whose dogs have had such separation anxiety that the neighbors complained and they had to put them in doggie daycare to avoid being evicted because of the noise. Doggie daycare is NOT in the budget on a regular basis. Maybe once a month if I'm staying late at work but not Monday through Friday.

DS talked me into looking through petfinders, and some of the older pets caught my eye -- 6 - 10 year old dogs who are described as sweet and gentle and are being rehomed because the owner moved to a nursing home or some such thing. Even then, though, they'd need to be exercised more than every 12 hours right?

I am really bad at letting DS talk me into things -- he's a little spoiled , and like I said I think that having a dog would be great for him (it was great for me as a kid), but I think I need to hold firm on this one -- don't I?

 

[Sammie]

Consider this, a dog needs the same amount of attention a child needs, do you have the time, energy and resources for that. If not get a fish.

Many pets end up in the shelters due to good intentions gone astray, please don't let that happen.

Dogs need to be exercised at least once every 6 hours. Would you want to be left alone for any longer than that, needed to go to the bathroom.

Dogs left alone, do develop seperation anxiety and become either destructive or develop health problems. Older dogs might be calmer, but a dog that has been used to human interaction on a regular basis is not. Also older dogs can have serious health issues.

I really do not think you need one. There are tests online you can take to determine pet ownership and most will ask do you have the time, and money to really do this.

Get the fish.

 

[bigbabyblues]

We have two dogs, and 12 hours is too long for them not to be able to go out. I think I'd have to say no for right now, but it's a personal decision.

Good luck deciding!

 

[sharonmickey]

A dog is a big responsibility as I'm sure you know. I just had our dog put to sleep a month ago because she had an untreatable tumor. My daughter is pushing for a new dog. I have to say, I'm not in favor of a new pet although I do miss our old dog. Now when I go out of town I don't have to worry about either a kennel or a pet-sitter. I don't have to rush home from work to check on the dog. With the cold weather I have to make sure the water in the dog's outside water dish doesn't freeze. It's been frigid lately and I do not have to worry about the dog being outside. There isn't dog hair all over the house anymore. Perhaps when your son is older and more able to help with a pet's care you can reconsider. There are always unexpected expenses with a pet. Maybe some time in the future I will consider a dog again but not right now.

 

[Davidsmommy]

Personally, I wouldn't feel right about getting a dog if I was gone from 7 AM - 7 PM each day. That is a long time for the dog to have to hold going to the bathroom. I am sure some can, but as the dog ages or if it gets ill it may not be able to, and then you have to do something else.

I got a puppy right after college (I lived with my parents for a few months) and then she and I moved in with my dh. We lived there for two years and then got a house with a fenced backyard and a doggie door. We then got ANOTHER dog so our first dog would have a friend.

We had to put my first dog to sleep last year (cancer), but she lived 12 years which is a lot for her breed (rotty).

To answer your question - now that I have small kids - I have vowed we are NEVER getting another dog. I may change my mind eventually (much later!!!) but at this point, when Lindsey goes (and she is 10 or 11 now) we will be a pet free house.

It isn't just the walking them and financial stuff - it is the endless dog hair to clean up, boarding when we go on vacation - etc.

Don't do it!! At least until you have adopted your second child and he or she is like 6 or 7.

 

[bumbershoot]

OK. you asked for it!

These are what have kept us from getting a dog, even though I do very much wish I could get an Alaskan Malamute like I had when growing up.

********

They have naked butts and sit on clean carpet with them.

They die before you want them to do so.

They get sick, and even though pet health insurance might still exist I'm not sure it is as relatively good as health insurance for people, so dogs can cost quite a bit. When you don't *have* that money, it's not a good idea to put yourself into a situation where you might have to find that money.

They might cause you to sneeze, even if you've never sneezed b/c of a dog before.

They need to be walked often. When you get home after a long, tough, day, you and your son can't just cuddle on the couch, b/c you have to go out and walk the dog, no matter what the weather.

In an apartment building with other dogs, they tend to "talk" to each other. The dogs on our floor have conversations with each other through the front doors, and their owners don't know unless told.

There might have been a dog in your apartment before, and that dog might not have been fully cleaned up after. You might not know that until you get a dog, and until they decide to overmark where a previous dog marked (we have very obvious previous-dog-marks in our apartment).

And again, they die, much sooner than you want them to do so.

 

[Pixiedust34]

3) I work long hours, DS is involved in a lot of sports etc . . . -- we're probably gone from home 7:45 till 7:00 most weekdays, I might be able to shave that a bit, but not much.
4) Money is an issue. I'm confident that I could afford food and regular vet care, but I have several friends whose dogs have had such separation anxiety that the neighbors complained and they had to put them in doggie daycare to avoid being evicted because of the noise. Doggie daycare is NOT in the budget on a regular basis. Maybe once a month if I'm staying late at work but not Monday through Friday.

These are two excellent reasons to not get a dog. Leaving a dog alone for 12 hours on most weekdays is not good for a dog. Dogs are expensive. Vet bills are expensive, and so is boarding when you tavel. As they get older and develop health problems, they can be a downright money pit.

I understand that your ds wants a dog. They are great pets, but they are a big responsibility both time-wise and money-wise. I know that it isn't the same thing as getting a dog, but maybe you can think about a compromise, like a hamster or guinea pig?? That way, he still gets a pet but you don't have to put as much time & money as you would into it if you were to get him a dog.

I don't know much about cats, but maybe an indoor cat can be left alone for 12 hours OK. Would that be an option? And you wouldn't have to rush home to let it out since it would use a litter box. Maybe a cat owner can chime in with an opinion about whether or not a cat would be a better fit for you.

 

[Sammie]

Here is a good article about why and why not to get a dog. Be sure to read the part that says getting a dog because a child wants one if not the best reason.

http://dogs.about.com/cs/before/a/commitment.htm

 

[TheRatPack]

I absolutely love our 2 doggies, but I have to say that if you work full time, and you're a single parent I'd go with a fish. I'm at home most of the day, and we take them out a LOT to potty...etc. When left alone, even the best dogs will do things to gain your attention (peeing on your crocs, tearing up everything in the kitchen garbage, ripping apart any clothing they can get a hold of out of the hamper, peeing on the shower rug...etc). Plus you have to remember that food/basic vet care are just the beginning. There is monthly flea preventative, crates, kennel services if you go off to Disney ...etc.

As I said, I LOVE our doggies, and I would just die without them (had one for 8 years and the other for 3), but they are a BIG responsibility. And even more so than kids because atleast we have insurance for the kids health issues if the need arises. Sadly with doggies, just a short office visit to diagnose a rash is over 100.00 easily. Then of course our Yorkie has skin issues so we have to buy special food, and he has to eat smaller meals during the day because his tummy gets upset if he eats all his food in 1 sitting. Don't even get me started on our Dachshund and her issues LOL

I think it's great that you're weighing your options....shows that you're trying to be responsible about being a pet owner Just don't visit any puppy adoption places anytime soon...those little eyes will pull you in and you'll leave with a new puppy LOL

 

[LegoMom3]

Let me start with a disclaimer: I fully support rescue organizations and shelters that adopt out adult dogs that are in need of homes.

That said, I will also say that many times these adults dogs can come with "baggage." You don't know what they've been through and even just the stress of being in a shelter can affect them. If you don't even have time to be home period, you definitely won't have time to deal with any training issues that may come up. We've adopted several dogs (ages 7+) over the years and not one of them came without something we had to work through! If you have the time, then yes it's worth it but it's really not fair to get one and leave it all alone. As others have said, you will be asking for separation anxiety, and speaking from experience, it ain't pretty!!

If you are inclined to cats at all, they are perfect pets for a family like yours. They use a litter box (just clean it out once a day), don't demand your attention/interaction in the same way as a dog would, and will probably be quite content to just curl up with you on that couch after a long day!


.

 

[Pigeon]

In your situation, I would not get a dog. I don't mean to be unkind, but it's not fair to the dog at this stage in your life.

Dogs take up a huge amount of time and they want human companionship. Most dogs aren't going to be happy being left alone as much as you describe. Ours is alone from about 8 am to 2:30 pm, and that's really too much. When you get home at night, after you feed your child, do homework, etc., how much time and energy are you going to have left for the dog, who hasn't seen you all day and wants your attention?

Dogs are very expensive. Our perfectly healthy dog will often cost over $300 for a check up because of all the preventative stuff. If you have to board the dog if you are out of town, that's another big expense. If your dog develops a medical problem, ongoing expenses can be huge.

You say you are hoping to adopt. I've adopted twice. Adopting, unless you are using the foster care system, is quite expensive. By not having a dog, you'll be able to save money faster. The new child will also no doubt require a great deal of attention. I think as a single mother, it would be easier not to have a dog also claiming your attention.

You don't own your home. How sure are you that you will be in your present apartment for the next ten years or that the owner won't sell to someone else who will ban dogs?

If I were you, I'd look at a cat or smaller pet. If at some time in the future your circumstances change, that would be the time to look into a dog.

 

[dolce]

lets not forget....when you go on vacation you have to find a dog sitter!!

 

[reginaastralis]

I'm a single mom, and I am gone most days for at least 12 hours. Last year, my daughter started begging for a dog (and a baby sister )

We had lots of talks about how much work a doggy was, about how they could make messes on the carpet and that was yucky ... yadda yadda yadda.

She still wanted the dog *she was two, so she couldn't even chime in with "I'll walk him and feed him."*

A couple of months later, while at my mom's house, this sweet little kitty came up. My daughter instantly begged for a kitty. LOL. We made sure he didn't have a home, and brought him home with us.

He's perfect for my daughter (and myself). Three times a week, while my daughter is in the bath (I keep the litter box in her bathroom), I scoop out the poo from his litter box. Since I only have one cat, I generally get away with replacing the whole amount of litter every two weeks. I have those dispensers for his food and water, and b/c I am OCD about germs, I made sure they were dishwasher (and pet) safe plastic, and they are run through the dishwasher about once a month. Pretty much, there is hardly any clean up to him, and honestly he's the most affectionate cat I have ever met. He is at the door when we come home, and is always climbing into bed with us.

He's about 6 months old, and our only problems come from the fact that my daughter likes to pull his tail ... so he scratches her occasionally. He also likes to attack feet, and run under our feet while going up and down the stairs. He has a few toys, and I am thinking about getting him a cat tower .. but other than that ... he pretty much leaves us alone.

 

[Mickey'snewestfan]

Thanks everyone! You've all laid out some excellent points -- like I said, I wasn't really expecting anyone to disagree with me.

Now question #2 -- what about a cat? With the "limitations" I describe above, is it equally unfair to get a cat? If I do get a cat can I start with a kitten, or is 12 hours too long for a cat that young to be left alone?

 

[Floridagal23]

I really don't think it is fair to leave a dog for 12 hours without letting them out to use the bathroom. My dog goes out every 3 hours when someone is home (she is getting older, though). At most, when she was younger, we left her 6.5 hours max. Some dogs are fine for the 9-5 workers (my bf's family's dog is great) but 12 hours is a verrry long time for a dog to "hold it."

 

[ess]

And something happens down the line and you have to move to another apartment, what happens to the dog? Dumped back into the shelter? Buy DS8 a stuffed dog, they have ones that look like they're breathing they're pretty neat. Moving...the number one reason people use when giving up a pet.

 

[2 princes 1 princess]

I say you should get one!!

(Just kidding!)

 

[tinaluis]

Do you have a friend or relative who has a dog that you can visit with and keep for a weekend or so? That will give you just a tiny idea of what it's like to care for a pet and may give your son the "pet fix" that he needs. (If you live anywhere near Chicago I'd be willing to help).

Dogs are a LOT of work. DDs wanted one and Santa brought them one for Xmas, but "Santa" knew who would really be taking care of the dog. Honestly, it's like having another child. I always tell people that I have six kids, DH, my 4 children and my dog. No kidding, it's a lot of work and a very big commitment.

 

[chocovrdmicears]

3) I work long hours, DS is involved in a lot of sports etc . . . -- we're probably gone from home 7:45 till 7:00 most weekdays, I might be able to shave that a bit, but not much.

7:45am-7:00pm is far too long for a dog to be left alone. As much as your DS wants a dog, it simply is NOT fair for an animal to be left alone for that amount of time.

 

[BethR]

Personally I think that getting a cat would be a wonderful option for you! Cats don't require a lot of space. Don't need to be walked. As a matter of fact, they don't EVER have to go outside EVER! Give them a clean litter box, some food, some loving and playing, and your cat is good to go.

Good Luck making your decision!