Sue Klebold (mother of Columbine shooter, Dylan) on 20/20

[maddiel]

I don't know if it made a ripple in news anywhere else but here but this time last year the RCMP in Halifax NS (where I live) got a tip and were able to successfully foil a Columbine-inspired plot to shoot up/blow up our local shopping centre. Aside from it being shocking that something so potentially awful could have happended here, it was surprising and disturbing to learn that there was a such a large Columbine-fixated community on the in intenet.

One of the 3 people involved in the plot killed himself before the police could arrest him. He was suppossedly the source of the police tip but that's not confirmed since the details are still private while the other two suspects are awaiting trial. His parents were in the local paper a few months ago - I think they were blindsided by what happened and are finding it difficult to process while they wait for the full story to come out.

M.

 

[cijay]

The parents were sued for failure to supervise Harris and Kleibold and because the weapons were stored and the bombs were made and stored at their homes.

Ah, okay, thanks for clearing it up.

I've wondered just how far a mothers (or fathers) love can go. If this were your son and he hadn't died, would you still love him?

I seriously don't believe in unconditional love and if it were my kid, I doubt I could love/forgive him again.

 

[christineann]

This is from a 60 Minutes piece dated April 17, 2001:

Where were Harris and Klebold's parents all this time? They have never spoken publicly about Columbine, but in police interviews they said they had no idea about the arsenal of weapons their sons were amassing in their bedrooms - including knives, guns, cans full of gunpowder, coils of bomb fuse, and bombs - more than 100 of them, including pipe bombs, propane bombs and homemade grenades.....Harris imagined his parents saying, "If only we had checked his room. If only we had asked more questions."

 

[jiminyC_fan]

I think most of us are far more involved in the lives of our kids today so we can hopefully be proactive and get them the help they need before tragedy strikes.

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with this as well. From the beginning of time there has been different parenting styles. Some hands on, some not.

It's easy to say "well I would have done this or that and it wouldn't happen in my household" but in reality none of us are perfect. One wouldn't really know unless the situation presented itself.

 

[LisaR]

I'm sorry but I have to disagree with this as well. From the beginning of time there has been different parenting styles. Some hands on, some not.

It's easy to say "well I would have done this or that and it wouldn't happen in my household" but in reality none of us are perfect. One wouldn't really know unless the situation presented itself.

I understand what you are saying. I've stated that while I feel very involved with my kids, I doubt I would have panicked over a moody teen doing a couple stupid things. It just seems like helicopter parenting is such a thing now. When I was a kid, I didn't know anyone with parents as involved as we are today. I don't mean that in a negative way. I had great parents and they were always there for me, but they just weren't on top of every single thing I did like some parents are today. Maybe I am not explaining myself correctly or maybe I am just wrong on this one. Very possible. I'm just trying to come up with any possible, reasonable explanation.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I understand what you are saying. I've stated that while I feel very involved with my kids, I doubt I would have panicked over a moody teen doing a couple stupid things. It just seems like helicopter parenting is such a thing now. When I was a kid, I didn't know anyone with parents as involved as we are today. I don't mean that in a negative way. I had great parents and they were always there for me, but they just weren't on top of every single thing I did like some parents are today. Maybe I am not explaining myself correctly or maybe I am just wrong on this one. Very possible. I'm just trying to come up with any possible, reasonable explanation.

You're not wrong or explaining yourself incorrectly. It was a different time. Yeah that's had been school shootings before but they weren't a thing like they are now. Columbine was a changing point for how we looked at things like school shootings. I mean one of them actually wrote a story for a class assignment about someone shooting up the school. It disturbed the teacher but apparently wasn't treated as a big deal by anyone else. After Colubine, those types of things started being treated as a big deal and a warning sign.

 

[christineann]

I wasn't a helicopter parent (and neither were my parents), but I would have noticed if my kid had an arsenal and more than 100 bombs in his bedroom. We're not talking about something that could be stuck under the bed or in the closet.....even Harris was quoted as being surprised in one of his videos.

There are so many things that were missed with these two killers. It's too late for their victims, but hopefully this has been and will continue to be a learning experience.

 

[eliza61]

Just finished watching. How incredibly sad.

 

[Bec3b1g]

So many ruined lives

I watched the interview. Klebold seemed sincere, gracious, and truly sorry.

If my child had been killed, I don't know that I could let go of that anger. I'm sure I'd blame the parents too. And yet watching the interview, I don't believe that Klebold should carry this huge burden through life.

Such a horrible, awful tragedy.

 

[jiminyC_fan]

Lisa, I guess I disagreed with you because like I said earlier my girls were Seniors and Columbine is a couple blocks away so this is my era. This hits home. I know two who were killed. I know some injured and I know some that witnessed it all. My girls had curfew, I went to every program, attended school parties, was a home room mom, attended every Natl Honor Society induction. I knew what my girls were up to and who their friends were. My husband and myself had family vacations and never considered a vacation without our girls. I guess what I am saying is, there were parents that cared back then and parents that still care today. Please know, I'm not arguing. Someone earlier said that hopefully this has been a learning tool.

 

[pigletgirl]

But what about the nutsy adults who do same thing?
WE had a shooter in our city-in a movie theater-2 died-one girl has to live with terrible injuries
I don't blame his relatives-whom he was estranged from
because lots of "signs" were there-when his past was looked into
NOONE can control another person's actions
( we learned this when DH's brother went thru a couple years of nuttiness)

No, however an attentive parent would know when their child has mood change.

I think for Dylan's mother, she knew what was up but kinda shrugged it off. That motherly instinct is powerful. When in doubt, seek help!

I really do feel for her.

 

[pigletgirl]

I seriously don't believe in unconditional love and if it were my kid, I doubt I could love/forgive him again.

Wow. That's heartbreaking to read.

 

[eliza61]

No, however an attentive parent would know when their child has mood change.

I think for Dylan's mother, she knew what was up but kinda shrugged it off. That motherly instinct is powerful. When in doubt, seek help!

I really do feel for her.

You think she knew they were going to do something horrible?? I know when my kids mood change but no one thinks their kid will go on a murderous rampage. before Columbine she probably wouldn't have imagined it possible.

 

[pigletgirl]

You think she knew they were going to do something horrible?? I know when my kids mood change but no one thinks their kid will go on a murderous rampage. before Columbine she probably wouldn't have imagined it possible.

In retrospect, I wonder what she "knew", if anything?

I don't know, I'm probably reading wayyyy to into it.

 

[LisaR]

I wasn't a helicopter parent (and neither were my parents), but I would have noticed if my kid had an arsenal and more than 100 bombs in his bedroom. We're not talking about something that could be stuck under the bed or in the closet.....even Harris was quoted as being surprised in one of his videos.

There are so many things that were missed with these two killers. It's too late for their victims, but hopefully this has been and will continue to be a learning experience.

I read that Eric Harris kept the bombs out in the woods, not in his bedroom. Of course, you can't believe everything you read on the internet so maybe he did have those in his bedroom.

Lisa, I guess I disagreed with you because like I said earlier my girls were Seniors and Columbine is a couple blocks away so this is my era. This hits home. I know two who were killed. I know some injured and I know some that witnessed it all. My girls had curfew, I went to every program, attended school parties, was a home room mom, attended every Natl Honor Society induction. I knew what my girls were up to and who their friends were. My husband and myself had family vacations and never considered a vacation without our girls. I guess what I am saying is, there were parents that cared back then and parents that still care today. Please know, I'm not arguing. Someone earlier said that hopefully this has been a learning tool.

I completely understand and I agree with you. Like I said, I'm probably talking in circles because I just can't make sense of it all. It does sound like Sue Klebold would have described herself as a very similar mother until her son committed those horrible murders. Now she lives with the guilt of not doing more. Can't imagine what you went through with it hitting so close to home.

 

[cijay]

Wow. That's heartbreaking to read.

I know. Which part though? I mean, I know that parental love isn't guaranteed to be unconditional. It's a general rule but not 100%. As for the other part, I just see myself as an imperfect mortal and I really think I wouldn't be able to handle it with anything but indifference to my own kid if he did that.

 

[ConnecticutNonna]

Did anyone watch it? I feel such sorrow for her. Every day, to live with the knowledge of what her son did. She said that any money raised by her book will go to help fight mental illness. Such a tragedy. Hard to believe it's been 16 years.

TC

Heartwrenching...

She has been tried, convicted and given a life sentence without the possibility of parole for her son's crime by the American public.

 

[sunshinehighway]

Heartwrenching...

She has been tried, convicted and given a life sentence without the possibility of parole for her son's crime by the American public.

It happens a lot. It's a way to make sense of a tragedy and be able to say it won't happen to me or mine.

 

[ConnecticutNonna]

It happens a lot. It's a way to make sense of a tragedy and be able to say it won't happen to me or mine.

Totally agree, "There but the grace of God, go I."
I don't believe that poor woman did anything wrong. And I certainly don't believe I would have figured my child for a school shooter. So sad, all of it.

 

[gwynne]

Heartwrenching...

She has been tried, convicted and given a life sentence without the possibility of parole for her son's crime by the American public.

I believe the friends and family members of the murdered received "life sentences" of unimaginable grief and loss. Murder (and in this case, mass murder) is a terrible thing. It leaves numerous victims in it wake.