Sons new girlfriend - what do you think..quite worried- Update 24th April - SAD!

[Bethy Lou]

Your poor son! Your son might be irritated now, but hewill realize your wisdom later.

 

[nicolemomof4cuties]

Run, run fast, run long but most assuredly run away.

Funny yet so VERY TRUE!!!!!!!

 

[crisi]

You are a sneaky mom. Hopefully, he will soon realize you are a good mom.

 

[momtwo4]

You are a great Mom. So glad you were able to talk with the girlfriend Mom and get the truth out there! I'm sure your son will come around, he's just hurt right now.

 

[AKBAFB]

You are a wonderful mother. Excellent job! Your son will come around. This would be hard for anyone to take, but the truth had to come out. He will realize that it's better that he knows sooner rather than later. He's lucky to have a mom who's so caring.

 

[peanut1967]

Thankyou so much for all the kind words.

I think part of the problem is pride with him, he just didnt see it. He really beleived everything this girl said, and he gave her his heart.

She was even talking to him about giving her morphine shots when she needed them

Her mother must be so embarrassed, this girl needs leading to the doctors to get her head sorted.

Angie

 

[Aliceacc]

At least now someone in a position to help this poor girl is aware of the problem!!

 

[DVCsince02]

And maybe he won't be so quick to give his heart. This really is a great life lesson, he just needs some time to realize it.

 

[peanut1967]

so after all this....

he still believes she as lung cancer....she has told him that she didnt tell her mum...who she lives with because she doesnt want to upset her...hes thinking of getting back with her...

I am in tears

 

[Bethy Lou]

OH NO! What a terrible person that girl is. I am so very sorry you are dealing with this awful girl. I am at a loss now I hope someone has some great advice for you.

 

[frtchr]

It sounds like a terrible situation, and I'm sorry. This girl obviously needs some serious help. You can't rescue him from everything, though. You've said your piece. Now it's up to him.

 

[ncmtnmom]

I feel your pain! My 17 yr old son has a girlfriend that drives me crazy. She has told him sooo many lies!! I have caught her in them, he has caught her in them. He gets mad and breaks up with her and within 2 days he's right back with her. Tells me that it really wasn't that bad and it was all blown out of proportion. He'll forgive her for anything!! She slept with one of his football teammates while he was gone to his Dad's house over the summer, she called him last spring while he was away visiting his Dad for a long weekend and told him she had been in a bad car crash with her friend and she was hurt. Made him worry the whole time and feel guilty for not being there for her. That turned out to be a complete fabrication!! Claims that her stepdad gave her a black eye. There was no black eye when we saw her a few hours later!

Boys that age are totally clueless. At least mine is. Now I just found out that he has been skipping school with her all the time and because of attendance policies he has no chance of graduating high school this year!! I am SO mad!

Sorry to vent on your thread! I wish you luck!! Maybe your son will see the light! I have a feeling mine will be married to this goofy girl as soon as he turns 18 in July. UGH!!

 

[PEANUT1]

I think you have to be careful not to alienate your son. If he wants to believe the girl right now....eventually he will learn the truth. If he really loves her, unfortunatley there is not much you can do to change his mind.

Don't push...let him find his way. Just support him and love him. This is only my opinion. I understand this would be very hard to do.

I have seen family members torn apart by things like this. Just be careful.

Andrea

 

[thegrimdwarf]

Ugh! I wish I had some wisdom for you. Hopefully he'll see her for what/who she is, and be able to walk away on his own terms. I can't even imagine how you're handling it - I mean, as moms, we always want to smooth the bumpy road for our kids. What a horrible situation for all of you.

 

[jessp1021]

Your son might not see it right now but you did him a favor.. honestly is this the kind of girl he wants to be invovled with?? She obviously has some issues she needs to work out on her own.. He will come around.. I am betting that he is imbarassed for being taken for a fool.

 

[jamieT]

i agree with Andrea in the respect that you have to be careful, but God gave your son a mom who loves him enough to be concerned. Lucky boy. You do want to be careful in how you handle it, but don't sit back and wait until he has a few kids with her and he's wasted 15 yrs of his life and she gets a restraining order and he has no visitation because she's lied about him hurting her. I am sorry, but people are crazy. Liars are liars. Get him to run far and run fast. I know this senario sounds dramatic, but if he's had this kind of drama with this girl in less than 2 months one can only guess at what's ahead! I wish you luck! This is not an easy situation!

 

[bunnyscootles]

so after all this....

he still believes she as lung cancer....she has told him that she didnt tell her mum...who she lives with because she doesnt want to upset her...hes thinking of getting back with her...

I am in tears

I just have give you big hugs, my brother is in a really bad relationship that he just can't seem to get himself out of. My brother is older, but cannot see how manipulated he is either.
I think other's are right, there is a fine line between pushing him away and sitting back and doing nothing.
I'm sure he isn't thinking about this, but how in the world could you have lung cancer without your people who live knowing!? Treatments, office and hospital visits, insurance, co-pays, all that stuff.
Maybe you guys can do some volunteer work with real cancer patients or do some research together on lung cancer.
I really think that he's got to come around to see that his GF is lying to him, and having you point it out to him probably isn't going to work.

 

[Aliceacc]

It took him all this time to decide to get back with her-- on some level, he has a lot of doubt about her story.

The next time she says something outrageous (and you know she will), he'll be a bit more dubioius.

As others have mentioned, be the picture of concern. Be incredibly careful not to alienate him and send him running off to play Prince Charming and marry this wacko.

You might want to convince him that her parents really need to know this, in case the illness manifests itself. She may also want to look into a living will and give her parents power of attorney... anything that makes it completely logical for her to tell her parents. God forbid they find out accidentally-- like the doctor who is treating her accidentally calls when she's not home-- they would be devastated to hear from someone else... You get the picture.

 

[CastleCreations]

Isn't she under 18? She wouldn't be able to consent to treatment, if she's a minor. I would notify her parents, and if she's telling the truth, I hope she gets well, but I think she needs some serious mental help. Hopefully she isn't a danger to herself or others...

 

[Aliceacc]

Isn't she under 18? She wouldn't be able to consent to treatment, if she's a minor. I would notify her parents, and if she's telling the truth, I hope she gets well, but I think she needs some serious mental help. Hopefully she isn't a danger to herself or others...

The original post said the son was 19, so I assume the girl is probably close to his age.