Not legally. But if he believes this child is his, and is making no effort to support her, then he certainly meets my definition of a deadbeat father.
Thank You! My sentiments exactly
Not legally. But if he believes this child is his, and is making no effort to support her, then he certainly meets my definition of a deadbeat father.
I used the term deadbeat. I'm sorry but if you know or think that you produced a child with someone (and he obviously thinks so) and you have done NOTHING to own up to it or disprove it then in my book you are a deadbeat. How does he think the kid HE made is eating? off of you and I probably. He is walking around talking about getting custody so he obviously had sex with the Mother and thinks it is his.
A responsible person would not have to wait for a legal order to do the right thing!!!
Hence to me he is a deadbeat.
Not legally. But if he believes this child is his, and is making no effort to support her, then he certainly meets my definition of a deadbeat father.
If Josh were my son, I'd do all I could to get him to have a DNA test. There has to be a reason why he didn't think the child was his. What made him change his mind? If the mother believed he was the father, why didn't she push for a DNA test from day one?
If a DNA test is done, and Josh IS the father, I would think that not only would he need to pay child support, but that the court may also order that he pay retro-active child support back to when the child was born.
Originally Posted by tlbwriter
Not legally. But if he believes this child is his, and is making no effort to support her, then he certainly meets my definition of a deadbeat father.
If possible, get a list of the best custody attorneys in your area and just do an interview visit with all of them. Then, no matter who your daughter uses as her attorney, the other good attorneys will be unable to take the old boyfriend's case..
This is disgusting to me.
I have a client who went through the entire pregnancy with his girlfriend. He was there at delivery and cut the umbilical cord. He was under 18, and his mother would not let him sign the acknowledgment of paternity. She insisted he get a DNA test. He wasn't the father. Neither were the other three guys (so far) that have been DNA tested.
It sounds to me like the best support you could provide for you daughter would be to help her pay for a lawyer. I'm a little confused how you can go to Child Support Enforcement when it doesn't sound like Child Support has ever been ordered? But the details do get mixed up over the internet.
dis-happy
Quote:
Originally Posted by Inigo View Post
This is disgusting to me.
Why? If I knew someone were planning to go after full custody of my child and had people lined up against me to do that, I'd do everything in my power to do what I could to fight back. It was an attorney who once told me that this could be done.
And while I'm not divorced, I've seen several people close to me go through messy custody sitations where EVERYONE was lined up against them even though it was undeserved (including a cousin who is currently in a situation with the birth father of her 11 year old. He has been completely hands off for years and is now talking about getting custody. Even if he loses it will still be many sleepless nights and $$$$ on her part to defend herself, trying to keep her family unit stable. Doesn't help that very well heeled inlaws are pulling the strings behind the scene either).
I am going to go off on a different tangent.
Tell your DD to think long and hard about n aming Josh as the father and getting child support from him. All of that gives him more rights and leverage.
Here's how I see it:
Your DD got pregnant by a guy who seems to be a bit of a bum...didn't want to meet his baby etc. His name is not on the birth certficate as the father, so technically, he's not.
I'd keep it that way. I have visions of Josh demanding time with his child if he is named as the father and starts to pay child support. He sound sliek a bit of a loser...do you all want the kid exposed to him????
I have a freind who got pregnant young, married the baby's father, was divorced a year later...big huge mess involving custody, child support and so forth. She always says that if she had it to do over again, she'd say "I have no idea who the father is".
I'd keep it that way. I have visions of Josh demanding time with his child if he is named as the father and starts to pay child support. He sounds like a bit of a loser...do you all want the kid exposed to him????
I am going to go off on a different tangent.
Tell your DD to think long and hard about n aming Josh as the father and getting child support from him. All of that gives him more rights and leverage.
Here's how I see it:
Your DD got pregnant by a guy who seems to be a bit of a bum...didn't want to meet his baby etc. His name is not on the birth certficate as the father, so technically, he's not.
I'd keep it that way. I have visions of Josh demanding time with his child if he is named as the father and starts to pay child support. He sound sliek a bit of a loser...do you all want the kid exposed to him????
I have a freind who got pregnant young, married the baby's father, was divorced a year later...big huge mess involving custody, child support and so forth. She always says that if she had it to do over again, she'd say "I have no idea who the father is".
I am going to go off on a different tangent.
Tell your DD to think long and hard about n aming Josh as the father and getting child support from him.
All of that gives him more rights and leverage.
Honestly, the young man may not have wanted to accept responsibility for the child, so he said she wasn't his. In her case, the mother may have decided that she would rather not have to deal with him so she let it go (I know of some people who would truly be better off to not have one of the parents in the equation due to their issues - as sad as that sounds). I hope the situation she is currently living in is more stable than her previous relationship.
My DD is 23 (24 this year) and Josh is 30. They split up not long after she got pregnant. She started dating her new boyfriend after the baby was born. My DD gets WIC and some food stamps for my GDD, but it is a minimal amount. She found out at one time Josh was getting them, but she wasn't. That was why she went to Child Support Enforcement. They tried to locate him at the address listed on his driver's license and was told he did not live there. DD does not have a current address for him or know exactly where he is working. As I said he was doing some jobs under the table so he wouldn't have to report his wages.