Please pray for our home to be built quickly - my inlaws are poison!!

[Principessa1284]

Oh wow, I didn't think I'd have such a response! DH made himself a disboards name to see what all the hubub was about. I really appreciate all the support and suggestions. Just a few points of clarification..

1. Hoarding - oh, did you miss my episode? It aired just a few weeks ago.. No, lol, we're definitely not hoarders. We have 3 cats, keep clean litter boxes, and the house doesn't smell - trust me, I'm very sensitive to any scents or smells. Like I said - it's not very clean. The last time (or maybe it was the time before? I forget) they came, DH and I busted our butts to get the house as spotless as we could. We were SO proud of ourselves and thought they wouldn't have anything to complain about, but damn if they didn't criticize everything that we had done. So, I figure, why should I give my best effort if it's going to be shot down and criticized any way? DH would assume just not clean at all for them, but I wanted to at least try make it halfway decent.. which I think we failed at. I do have half a mind to have a profession come and clean the house before their next arrival, and take full credit for it.

2. While I am thankful that we were able to save up some money for this house, I probably would not have agreed to move in right after we got married. We were in BDH had always had a so-so relationship with his parents, but when I met them and we got married, it was fine. Kooky and sometimes annoying, but fine. He used to tell me stories about them from when he was a kid, and I'd think he was just exaggerating. They have the keys for the house and come and go as they please. This time, they only stayed for 3 days, but this 3 days was worse than the 3 months they spent here in the fall. They generally stay for 2-3 weeks, 2 or 3 times a year. I really thought they were doing us a huge favor out of the goodness of their hearts, but they needed someone to take care of the goats and watch the property. They wanted caretakers, and they don't trust ANYone. They've been trying for YEARS to sell the land (12 acres I think?) and have gotten some offers, but they refuse to sell it for anything less than they have decided they want for it (way more than double what it's worth). So, they're stuck with it, and if they want to live in their pretty mansion in Alabama, they need someone here to watch their tax-deduction goats.

3. They will not be getting the address to our new house. If they happen to find it out and show up - we'll have a peephole and an alarm system, I don't plan on opening the door. DH told his siblings that he doesn't want to have ANY contact with his parents once we move.

4. As much as I would LOVE to move out ASAP, as silly as it sounds, I fear for what they would do to my goat and her baby. I hand raised this goat after her mother rejected her after we first moved in, and she just had a baby of her own last month. They know I care very much for her, and if we just left, I don't know what they'd do to her. It sound so ridiculous, but she's my pet and I just love her to death. It's not like a dog, where I could just bring her with me or have a friend take care of her - she's like, a goat. Not to mention that I don't know of an apt complex that would take a 3 or 4 month lease, that would also accept pets, that's reasonable in price, has internet and phone available from DH's company which is required for him to work from home (no option to work from an office), and I wouldn't get shot going to my car at night. We also have to watch our spending because the bank is scrutinizing every penny right now, and we have to keep a certain amount in our accounts.

5. Oh boy would I LOVE for MIL to find this and read this... It would be my favorite thing ever - and I'm not being sarcastic at all. I have never been anything but polite to her face.. I don't feel the need to give her ammunition. She can keep making a fool of herself and, outside of the disboards and vent sessions with my friends, I just sit there quietly. It's DH's family to deal with, not mine.

6. *We* have never asked to borrow money from them. Like I said, DH did that before we were married and paid it back right away.


I think I addressed everything I felt the need to. I really am trying to have a sense of humor about the whole thing, but it's getting old.

PS - life is too short to skip out on an art show or disney park with some friends while they're in town. We don't go out very often, but it's worth whatever the price is to have a little bit of sanity restored for a few hours. Even my former shrink told me to get out and do things more often, and not to worry so much about the state of the house. I used to get crazy stressed out and make myself sick before they came, worrying about what they would say or think, but now I guess I really don't care what they think anymore.

 

[cm8]

Oh wow, I didn't think I'd have such a response! DH made himself a disboards name to see what all the hubub was about. I really appreciate all the support and suggestions. Just a few points of clarification..

1. Hoarding - oh, did you miss my episode? It aired just a few weeks ago.. No, lol, we're definitely not hoarders. We have 3 cats, keep clean litter boxes, and the house doesn't smell - trust me, I'm very sensitive to any scents or smells. Like I said - it's not very clean. The last time (or maybe it was the time before? I forget) they came, DH and I busted our butts to get the house as spotless as we could. We were SO proud of ourselves and thought they wouldn't have anything to complain about, but damn if they didn't criticize everything that we had done. So, I figure, why should I give my best effort if it's going to be shot down and criticized any way? DH would assume just not clean at all for them, but I wanted to at least try make it halfway decent.. which I think we failed at. I do have half a mind to have a profession come and clean the house before their next arrival, and take full credit for it.

2. While I am thankful that we were able to save up some money for this house, I probably would not have agreed to move in right after we got married. We were in BDH had always had a so-so relationship with his parents, but when I met them and we got married, it was fine. Kooky and sometimes annoying, but fine. He used to tell me stories about them from when he was a kid, and I'd think he was just exaggerating. They have the keys for the house and come and go as they please. This time, they only stayed for 3 days, but this 3 days was worse than the 3 months they spent here in the fall. They generally stay for 2-3 weeks, 2 or 3 times a year. I really thought they were doing us a huge favor out of the goodness of their hearts, but they needed someone to take care of the goats and watch the property. They wanted caretakers, and they don't trust ANYone. They've been trying for YEARS to sell the land (12 acres I think?) and have gotten some offers, but they refuse to sell it for anything less than they have decided they want for it (way more than double what it's worth). So, they're stuck with it, and if they want to live in their pretty mansion in Alabama, they need someone here to watch their tax-deduction goats.

3. They will not be getting the address to our new house. If they happen to find it out and show up - we'll have a peephole and an alarm system, I don't plan on opening the door. DH told his siblings that he doesn't want to have ANY contact with his parents once we move.

4. As much as I would LOVE to move out ASAP, as silly as it sounds, I fear for what they would do to my goat and her baby. I hand raised this goat after her mother rejected her after we first moved in, and she just had a baby of her own last month. They know I care very much for her, and if we just left, I don't know what they'd do to her. It sound so ridiculous, but she's my pet and I just love her to death. It's not like a dog, where I could just bring her with me or have a friend take care of her - she's like, a goat. Not to mention that I don't know of an apt complex that would take a 3 or 4 month lease, that would also accept pets, that's reasonable in price, has internet and phone available from DH's company which is required for him to work from home (no option to work from an office), and I wouldn't get shot going to my car at night. We also have to watch our spending because the bank is scrutinizing every penny right now, and we have to keep a certain amount in our accounts.

5. Oh boy would I LOVE for MIL to find this and read this... It would be my favorite thing ever - and I'm not being sarcastic at all. I have never been anything but polite to her face.. I don't feel the need to give her ammunition. She can keep making a fool of herself and, outside of the disboards and vent sessions with my friends, I just sit there quietly. It's DH's family to deal with, not mine.

6. *We* have never asked to borrow money from them. Like I said, DH did that before we were married and paid it back right away.


I think I addressed everything I felt the need to. I really am trying to have a sense of humor about the whole thing, but it's getting old.

PS - life is too short to skip out on an art show or disney park with some friends while they're in town. We don't go out very often, but it's worth whatever the price is to have a little bit of sanity restored for a few hours. Even my former shrink told me to get out and do things more often, and not to worry so much about the state of the house. I used to get crazy stressed out and make myself sick before they came, worrying about what they would say or think, but now I guess I really don't care what they think anymore.

 

[smitch425]

Oh wow, I didn't think I'd have such a response! DH made himself a disboards name to see what all the hubub was about. I really appreciate all the support and suggestions. Just a few points of clarification..

1. Hoarding - oh, did you miss my episode? It aired just a few weeks ago.. No, lol, we're definitely not hoarders. We have 3 cats, keep clean litter boxes, and the house doesn't smell - trust me, I'm very sensitive to any scents or smells. Like I said - it's not very clean. The last time (or maybe it was the time before? I forget) they came, DH and I busted our butts to get the house as spotless as we could. We were SO proud of ourselves and thought they wouldn't have anything to complain about, but damn if they didn't criticize everything that we had done. So, I figure, why should I give my best effort if it's going to be shot down and criticized any way? DH would assume just not clean at all for them, but I wanted to at least try make it halfway decent.. which I think we failed at. I do have half a mind to have a profession come and clean the house before their next arrival, and take full credit for it.

2. While I am thankful that we were able to save up some money for this house, I probably would not have agreed to move in right after we got married. We were in BDH had always had a so-so relationship with his parents, but when I met them and we got married, it was fine. Kooky and sometimes annoying, but fine. He used to tell me stories about them from when he was a kid, and I'd think he was just exaggerating. They have the keys for the house and come and go as they please. This time, they only stayed for 3 days, but this 3 days was worse than the 3 months they spent here in the fall. They generally stay for 2-3 weeks, 2 or 3 times a year. I really thought they were doing us a huge favor out of the goodness of their hearts, but they needed someone to take care of the goats and watch the property. They wanted caretakers, and they don't trust ANYone. They've been trying for YEARS to sell the land (12 acres I think?) and have gotten some offers, but they refuse to sell it for anything less than they have decided they want for it (way more than double what it's worth). So, they're stuck with it, and if they want to live in their pretty mansion in Alabama, they need someone here to watch their tax-deduction goats.

3. They will not be getting the address to our new house. If they happen to find it out and show up - we'll have a peephole and an alarm system, I don't plan on opening the door. DH told his siblings that he doesn't want to have ANY contact with his parents once we move.

4. As much as I would LOVE to move out ASAP, as silly as it sounds, I fear for what they would do to my goat and her baby. I hand raised this goat after her mother rejected her after we first moved in, and she just had a baby of her own last month. They know I care very much for her, and if we just left, I don't know what they'd do to her. It sound so ridiculous, but she's my pet and I just love her to death. It's not like a dog, where I could just bring her with me or have a friend take care of her - she's like, a goat. Not to mention that I don't know of an apt complex that would take a 3 or 4 month lease, that would also accept pets, that's reasonable in price, has internet and phone available from DH's company which is required for him to work from home (no option to work from an office), and I wouldn't get shot going to my car at night. We also have to watch our spending because the bank is scrutinizing every penny right now, and we have to keep a certain amount in our accounts.

5. Oh boy would I LOVE for MIL to find this and read this... It would be my favorite thing ever - and I'm not being sarcastic at all. I have never been anything but polite to her face.. I don't feel the need to give her ammunition. She can keep making a fool of herself and, outside of the disboards and vent sessions with my friends, I just sit there quietly. It's DH's family to deal with, not mine.

6. *We* have never asked to borrow money from them. Like I said, DH did that before we were married and paid it back right away.


I think I addressed everything I felt the need to. I really am trying to have a sense of humor about the whole thing, but it's getting old.

PS - life is too short to skip out on an art show or disney park with some friends while they're in town. We don't go out very often, but it's worth whatever the price is to have a little bit of sanity restored for a few hours. Even my former shrink told me to get out and do things more often, and not to worry so much about the state of the house. I used to get crazy stressed out and make myself sick before they came, worrying about what they would say or think, but now I guess I really don't care what they think anymore.

High-five up top! (this was the closest smilie I could find for a high-five. LOL!)

 

[PaulaSB12]

Oh wow, I didn't think I'd have such a response! DH made himself a disboards name to see what all the hubub was about. I really appreciate all the support and suggestions. Just a few points of clarification..

1. Hoarding - oh, did you miss my episode? It aired just a few weeks ago.. No, lol, we're definitely not hoarders. We have 3 cats, keep clean litter boxes, and the house doesn't smell - trust me, I'm very sensitive to any scents or smells. Like I said - it's not very clean. The last time (or maybe it was the time before? I forget) they came, DH and I busted our butts to get the house as spotless as we could. We were SO proud of ourselves and thought they wouldn't have anything to complain about, but damn if they didn't criticize everything that we had done. So, I figure, why should I give my best effort if it's going to be shot down and criticized any way? DH would assume just not clean at all for them, but I wanted to at least try make it halfway decent.. which I think we failed at. I do have half a mind to have a profession come and clean the house before their next arrival, and take full credit for it.

2. While I am thankful that we were able to save up some money for this house, I probably would not have agreed to move in right after we got married. We were in BDH had always had a so-so relationship with his parents, but when I met them and we got married, it was fine. Kooky and sometimes annoying, but fine. He used to tell me stories about them from when he was a kid, and I'd think he was just exaggerating. They have the keys for the house and come and go as they please. This time, they only stayed for 3 days, but this 3 days was worse than the 3 months they spent here in the fall. They generally stay for 2-3 weeks, 2 or 3 times a year. I really thought they were doing us a huge favor out of the goodness of their hearts, but they needed someone to take care of the goats and watch the property. They wanted caretakers, and they don't trust ANYone. They've been trying for YEARS to sell the land (12 acres I think?) and have gotten some offers, but they refuse to sell it for anything less than they have decided they want for it (way more than double what it's worth). So, they're stuck with it, and if they want to live in their pretty mansion in Alabama, they need someone here to watch their tax-deduction goats.

3. They will not be getting the address to our new house. If they happen to find it out and show up - we'll have a peephole and an alarm system, I don't plan on opening the door. DH told his siblings that he doesn't want to have ANY contact with his parents once we move.

4. As much as I would LOVE to move out ASAP, as silly as it sounds, I fear for what they would do to my goat and her baby. I hand raised this goat after her mother rejected her after we first moved in, and she just had a baby of her own last month. They know I care very much for her, and if we just left, I don't know what they'd do to her. It sound so ridiculous, but she's my pet and I just love her to death. It's not like a dog, where I could just bring her with me or have a friend take care of her - she's like, a goat. Not to mention that I don't know of an apt complex that would take a 3 or 4 month lease, that would also accept pets, that's reasonable in price, has internet and phone available from DH's company which is required for him to work from home (no option to work from an office), and I wouldn't get shot going to my car at night. We also have to watch our spending because the bank is scrutinizing every penny right now, and we have to keep a certain amount in our accounts.

5. Oh boy would I LOVE for MIL to find this and read this... It would be my favorite thing ever - and I'm not being sarcastic at all. I have never been anything but polite to her face.. I don't feel the need to give her ammunition. She can keep making a fool of herself and, outside of the disboards and vent sessions with my friends, I just sit there quietly. It's DH's family to deal with, not mine.

6. *We* have never asked to borrow money from them. Like I said, DH did that before we were married and paid it back right away.


I think I addressed everything I felt the need to. I really am trying to have a sense of humor about the whole thing, but it's getting old.

PS - life is too short to skip out on an art show or disney park with some friends while they're in town. We don't go out very often, but it's worth whatever the price is to have a little bit of sanity restored for a few hours. Even my former shrink told me to get out and do things more often, and not to worry so much about the state of the house. I used to get crazy stressed out and make myself sick before they came, worrying about what they would say or think, but now I guess I really don't care what they think anymore.

So until its convenient you will mooch off your inlaws move out and refuse to have anything to do with them, are you and your husband mature enough to be married? That is such an immature reaction they have let you live in their home and this is the way you thank them? If there behaviour is so bad move out now, but to slag them off while expecting them to home you.

 

[smitch425]

So until its convenient you will mooch off your inlaws move out and refuse to have anything to do with them, are you and your husband mature enough to be married? That is such an immature reaction they have let you live in their home and this is the way you thank them? If there behaviour is so bad move out now, but to slag them off while expecting them to home you.

OP is taking care of their house for them and their goats/yard. She explained that she is only staying because of her goats. I assume OP is paying all (or most) of the upkeep for the house, and paying their own utilities. People are trying to make OP feel bad for living in a free house, but it's not like it's completely free. I mean, maybe the parents WANT them to stay there so they don't have to go back and forth to check on the house. Whether the house is "free" or not doesn't excuse the fact that OP's PERSONAL belongings were defaced. If the parents didn't want them staying there, they could just kick them out, right?

I hope that everyone judging OP on her "hoarding" and ability to be "mature enough to be married" live perfect lives with zero complaints. Must be nice.

These "vent" threads always end up the same way. Someone just trying to get out their frustrations when they don't feel they have someone in their life they can talk to, and then they come here and get slammed. Talk about immaturity. You (general you) don't have to agree with the OPs in their venting, but for Pete's sake, don't kick them when they're down. If you think someone in a vent thread is wrong to be venting, why not just move along and bite your tongue? Odds are you won't alter their opinion, and you'll just look like a bully to anyone who has the OP's back. I just don't understand why people have to be so judgemental without knowing the WHOLE story. Granted, I don't know everything about OP's situation, but I know enough about it to know that I wouldn't want someone to come into my house and deface my PERSONAL property no matter if they were related or not. Thank goodness my family isn't like OP's, but I can promise you if someone in my family ever did what her MIL did, they would not be welcome in my home. Period.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Well, I am on the side of thinking the in laws seem totally out of line with defacing the trinket box and somewhat annoying with dropping by and inspecting things but I am also on the side that if you are staying somewhere nearly free (and watching the goats is nearly free) and do not like the terms (in laws want to check that it is clean and being kept up to their standards) then you should get out and not keep free loading.

I agree with Paul that continuing with the situation while it is advantageous to the OP (free rent) and then cutting off most contact when they no longer "need" the in laws (when their house is built they will not even tell the in laws where they live) smacks of a user mentality.

I think the OP has a right to be upset with her in laws and not want much contact with them anymore, but if that is the case she needs to buck up and do it NOW and not use them until she no longer needs help and then drop them (goat or no goat--be a grown up and find a way to handle that too).

So, basically, I guess, I think everyone in the OP is wrong

 

[cornflake]

Don't be silly, we're not hoarders, the cat boxes are clean and it doesn't even smell in here - not really a convincing argument that it's not a hoarders situation.

However - I don't generally understand the goat situation. I mean... what're you going to do when the house is built? Take the goats? Just take that goat? If the inlaws are mostly concerned about having someone stay because of the goats, I think they'd want the goats. Also think they'd find someone else to stay would that you left, so someone would be there to care for the goats.

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

Well, I am on the side of thinking the in laws seem totally out of line with defacing the trinket box and somewhat annoying with dropping by and inspecting things but I am also on the side that if you are staying somewhere nearly free (and watching the goats is nearly free) and do not like the terms (in laws want to check that it is clean and being kept up to their standards) then you should get out and not keep free loading.

I agree with Paul that continuing with the situation while it is advantageous to the OP (free rent) and then cutting off most contact when they no longer "need" the in laws (when their house is built they will not even tell the in laws where they live) smacks of a user mentality.

I think the OP has a right to be upset with her in laws and not want much contact with them anymore, but if that is the case she needs to buck up and do it NOW and not use them until she no longer needs help and then drop them (goat or no goat--be a grown up and find a way to handle that too).

So, basically, I guess, I think everyone in the OP is wrong

+1

If the in-laws are THAT intrusive and disrespectful, you need to move. Now. Find a place that rents month-to-month, find a home for your goat, and stop making excuses.

 

[snarlingcoyote]

Ya'll are forgetting that people who take care of labor intensive farms with a home included are also usually paid to do so; they rarely do it for free. (Speaking from experience.) Also, in those cases, it is their home, not the landlords. Take away the familial relationship for a minute.

Person A is taking care of rich person B's goat farm, which is being used as a tax shelter (BTW, OP, this is ILLEGAL. I am well aware that many people do it, but it's still illegal unless your IL's can prove that they were making a profit on these goats and aren't now due to the economy or some unexpected disaster or whatnot.) , they are managing the farm and ensuring that the farm does not fall into disrepair or is not vandalized. In exchange for this work, they do not pay rent.

The owners have retained a key, but are entering the premises without prior warning and for no reason other than coming to visit. This is also illegal in most states. Unfortunately, the farmer tenants do not have a lease spelling out responsibilities, so it's difficult to enforce these laws. In addition, the owners have defaced the farmer tenants' property in one of these visits.

It sounds like a sweet deal to me for the owners. When these tenants move out they're going to be up a crick. I don't think most posters here realized what's involved in running a farm, this isn't like a place in the country with a yard. Goats are work. Keeping up farms are work. It's not a 10 minute operation, it's morning and night work every single stinking day.

OP, give your pet goat to some neighbor's kid or something and do it NOW. Fait accompli if the owners count goat heads at any point in the future. As they don't have a formal agreement with you, this won't be anything illegal, because you are managing the farm as you see fit and a pet goat really isn't financial a viable goat. Then get out ASAP and don't look back.

 

[Swan4Me]

However - I don't generally understand the goat situation. I mean... what're you going to do when the house is built? Take the goats? Just take that goat? If the inlaws are mostly concerned about having someone stay because of the goats, I think they'd want the goats. Also think they'd find someone else to stay would that you left, so someone would be there to care for the goats.

I'm wondering this too in the darling new subdivision-I'm sure they will be hated by the neighbors for their pet goats

 

[RitaE]

I don't understand the situation either but I can tell you my impressions

1. Yeah. Who is going to take care of the goats in months when you leave? That makes no sense. I wouldn't exactly call goats intensive farm labor though, and that is also speaking from experience.

2. 2 Adults living by themselves shouldn't need a period of WEEKS to get a house clean, even when they just clean "little by little." Even at the most labor intensive cleaning periods of our lives when the house was exploding with kids and pets - if I cleaned over a period of weeks then the house would be CLEAN. Something is seriously weird about that situation.

3. Nobody walks into a house and starts screaming "Look at this place!" Just because the plate from lunch's ham sandwich is still sitting in the sink. The litterbox might be clean, but I do wonder what the human bathrooms look like?

4. People who snark things like "Well couldn't sell this place because they demand twice what it is worth" and "Then they can just go live in their mansion" while they are living rent free in the house of the people they are snarking about just make themselves sound extremely immature and that's the polite phrasing. It pretty much negates any attempt they might make to convince the internet-world that their in-Laws are minions of Satan.

5. With all that, of course your Mother In Law has no right to deface your property. I don't blame you for being angry about that.

 

[mdsoccermom]

Oh wow, I didn't think I'd have such a response! DH made himself a disboards name to see what all the hubub was about. I really appreciate all the support and suggestions. Just a few points of clarification..

1. Hoarding - oh, did you miss my episode? It aired just a few weeks ago.. No, lol, we're definitely not hoarders. We have 3 cats, keep clean litter boxes, and the house doesn't smell - trust me, I'm very sensitive to any scents or smells. Like I said - it's not very clean. The last time (or maybe it was the time before? I forget) they came, DH and I busted our butts to get the house as spotless as we could. We were SO proud of ourselves and thought they wouldn't have anything to complain about, but damn if they didn't criticize everything that we had done. So, I figure, why should I give my best effort if it's going to be shot down and criticized any way? DH would assume just not clean at all for them, but I wanted to at least try make it halfway decent.. which I think we failed at. I do have half a mind to have a profession come and clean the house before their next arrival, and take full credit for it.

PS - life is too short to skip out on an art show or disney park with some friends while they're in town. We don't go out very often, but it's worth whatever the price is to have a little bit of sanity restored for a few hours. Even my former shrink told me to get out and do things more often, and not to worry so much about the state of the house. I used to get crazy stressed out and make myself sick before they came, worrying about what they would say or think, but now I guess I really don't care what they think anymore.

How about cleaning the house for yourselves? I cannot possibly manage how dirty your home can be with only 2 people living in it?. It may not be up to the in-laws standards, but at least it will be clean for you. Litter boxes not smelling is setting the bar pretty low.

No one is saying that you have to stop going to art shows or Disney. But what they are saying is that if you have time to do that, you can find the time to clean. That's what adults do. It's not all fun and games.

 

[luvsJack]

She has said that they DID clean the house and the in-laws still said something about it. Maybe that's just the way they are? Maybe the house isn't as bad as everyone is wanting to imagine and the in-laws are just the kind that always have to say something?

My own mother is that way. I could spend hours upon hours scrubbing every surface in my house making sure everything is "in its place" and she would still say something. I just let it roll off. She says the same thing about her own house and its immaculate.

I don't about any of you people, but if I had a house to allow my kids to live in for free or nearly free, I certainly would not take it upon myself to walk in without knocking, decide how they should be keeping the house and I certainly would not decide that something of my dil's should be defaced because I don't agree with the picture on it!!

The in-laws made the agreement to let them live there for whatever reason and they should show them the same respect as they would strangers that they are renting to (regardless of the amount paid in rent by the OP).

As for the goat, maybe she will sell the goat when they move to the new house and make sure it goes to a home that has no intention of getting rid of it or eating it. That is really not the issue here anyway.

Maybe the OP should clean better or take care of her house better, I don't know but maybe the in-laws could treat them more like adults and less like kids.

 

[punkin]

I read the entire thread and still don't get why people say there's a hoarding situation here...or even that the house is more than usually every-day-living dirty. I know my house isn't ready for visitors all the time, but if my MIL gives me a few hours notice that she's coming, it could be.

 

[wvjules]

3. They will not be getting the address to our new house. If they happen to find it out and show up - we'll have a peephole and an alarm system, I don't plan on opening the door. DH told his siblings that he doesn't want to have ANY contact with his parents once we move.

.

Nice. Use them while it's convenient for you and wash your hands of them when you got what you need. Klassy.

Oh, what are you doing with the goat when you move? Are you taking care of their goats or your goat?

 

[Brandon1983]

I have an idea. I have nothing better to do with my time so I'll go through all the posts on this forum, picking apart every detail and coming up with the worst possible embellishments to add to them myself. Nothing good on tv so I'll invent my own drama.

 

[JB2K]

I don't know but maybe, just maybe the in-laws feel that when living in their house they have the right to have some certain minimum expectations in regard to the maintenance of THEIR house.

OP admits the house is a mess. Op says they don't have time to clean, yet the hubby works at home, (If I worked at home and had NO commute time I think I could find a LITTLE bit of time to clean.) OP can't keep up because she falls asleep while folding laundry? Huh? They have time to go to art shows and Disney parks, but not to straighten up the house, really?

Hey, my kids have kept their rooms clean since they were 6.

My kids now have cars and I expect them to keep them clean. Would I be a horrible parent 'poisoning' my kids if I get mad because their cars are a mess?
Give me a break.

If someone gave me a FREE place to live and their requirement was that I keep it clean, ya know what, it would be clean. And, if I didn't keep it clean I would accept the repercussions myself rather than making myself look like an ungrateful moocher to thousands of people on a message board.

The talk about cats and birthday presents and flea market junque matchbook boxes kinda shows that you will stoop to anything to try to paint these people as toxic. Have you ever thanked them for giving you a place to live?

My immediate "Community Board" thought on the matter was OP could have spent some of the time it took (a couple of hours, at least) making such long posts and using that energy to tidy-up things a bit (it's not OP didn't have advance warning).

Right?

 

[NEVERENOUGHWDW]

Nice. Use them while it's convenient for you and wash your hands of them when you got what you need. Klassy.

Oh, what are you doing with the goat when you move? Are you taking care of their goats or your goat?

When you sign a lease you have rights. When you are living free you have no rights.


Donate the goats to another farm or petting zoo and get an apartment.

 

[SaraJayne]

Well, I am on the side of thinking the in laws seem totally out of line with defacing the trinket box and somewhat annoying with dropping by and inspecting things but I am also on the side that if you are staying somewhere nearly free (and watching the goats is nearly free) and do not like the terms (in laws want to check that it is clean and being kept up to their standards) then you should get out and not keep free loading.

I agree with Paul that continuing with the situation while it is advantageous to the OP (free rent) and then cutting off most contact when they no longer "need" the in laws (when their house is built they will not even tell the in laws where they live) smacks of a user mentality.

I think the OP has a right to be upset with her in laws and not want much contact with them anymore, but if that is the case she needs to buck up and do it NOW and not use them until she no longer needs help and then drop them (goat or no goat--be a grown up and find a way to handle that too).

So, basically, I guess, I think everyone in the OP is wrong

I totally agree with Hadley. Especially the bolded.

 

[Pea-n-Me]

I was wondering if the IL's are aware you're building a house and moving shortly?