Parent Teacher Conference WWYD?

[declansdad]

Well that is how I read it, so there you go. I find the comment using the word "frustrating" in regards to meeting with me, not a nice thing.

This is what she said"

As I mentioned at Open House, I am not trying to discourage any parent from meeting with me, but as a parent of a very successful student, I found it frustrating to make all the arrangements for a 15 min meeting where the teacher told me my child was great.

The teacher is talking about herself and her child not how she is feeling towards the OP.

 

[declansdad]

The OP said that if you know that your child is doing well and there are no issues then you don't need to schedule a conference. What you describe above would fall under "issues" so the teacher wouldn't be talking about parents like you
Some of us have kids that are doing well in school and don't have personal issues that we need to talk to the teacher about, we are the ones that the teacher is addressing. If the OP wants to talk about other things then all she needs to do is email the teacher back and say she realizes her child is doing well academically, but there are other things she needs to discuss with her. Then the teacher will know there is a legitimate reason why the OP still wants to meet with her.

Seems pretty logical to me.

 

[PrincessKsMom]

Then your PT conferences, especially in middle school and high school are a heck of a lot different than ours! I would never discuss a personal issue esp medical at one! I would much rather do it in a private email. They are in a gym at card tables with about 3 feet between tables and other parents sitting or standing in a line waiting their turn 2 feet away. There is no set amount of time, totally depends on the length of the waiting line. If you are only there to have your ego stroked then they are going to stroke fast and hope you get up quickly. And there isn't enough time to get thru all the teachers any way so you have to pick which teachers you want to talk to.


I also think you are reading the email wrong. The teacher was obviously talking about in her personal experience she finds it frustrating to take the time to go hear there are no problems.

Here, in both grammar school and high school the teacher is in their classroom and has the parents line up outside the classroom and calls each parent in one at a time so they are able to discuss any issues. And I've noticed, particularly in high school, that usually the only parents that show up are the parents who probably don't need to. And the parents that should never do. I don't "need" to go to PT conference but I do. I want the teacher to know who I am and that I'm part of the team. I want them to know I take an interest and also share my contact info with them in the event something comes up and they feel the need to reach out to me. I also like to go and share with them the things my DD says about their classes, whether she's having issues or loves their class. I don't see why interaction with your child's teacher is a bad thing. It's part of their job.

 

[sookie]

I go. My children might behave well in school, but I still need to know if there is anything I should be working on at home. My oldest is a freshman in college and my youngest is in second grade. I've seen my share of conferences. I go to also see if the teacher knows my child.

I also like to hear their expectations for the school year so that my child can stay on top of it. Our school system is going through a transition with a variety of " curriculum ideas" I want to see how the teachers are implementing them in the classroom.

I find I have to redirect a meeting often away from how "perfect" my child is to what he can improve upon. There are things I can improve on, I know my children have to have some as well.

I'm surprised at how often everyone keeps saying this. Does everyone really think that the teacher doesn't know their kid? Because I would never think that my child would be lost in a classroom, especially in elementary school. How big are the classrooms where your child are attending? We have limits on classroom size in Elementary school. In Middle and High school, parent teacher conferences are for those students who are having issues to sort out (rightfully so).

Also - I have never been told that my children are perfect, and as someone who works with kids day in or day out - the word perfection doesn't ever enter my vocabulary either. I also have to evaluate both students and other employees, and I get evaluated myself. I really tend to be positive too, but I have never used the word perfection. I think that if someone works with human beings - children or adult - and is evaluating them, I don't know how the word perfect really could enter that conversation. We are all human. Everyone knows that humans are not perfect. But I have seen several people on this thread say that they are told their kids are perfect.

Why do you think this is? This is just really odd to me.... it would never cross my mind to call another person perfect. We are all so different. Perfect is not a word to call a person. I am sure we all don't make 100% on every test, or win every race, or raise our hand immediately for every question answered to the perfect satisfaction of the teacher. We will always fall short in some way or struggle in some subject. We are all different, our brains and bodies all work differently. That is part of the learning process. That is why we can't be perfect.

We can try to be perfect - think of Tracy Flick in the movie Election or Rachel Berry in Glee.... but we still aren't. We will always fall short. And no one is going to call us perfect all the time. Always something to improve on.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

The OP said that if you know that your child is doing well and there are no issues then you don't need to schedule a conference. What you describe above would fall under "issues" so the teacher wouldn't be talking about parents like you
Some of us have kids that are doing well in school and don't have personal issues that we need to talk to the teacher about, we are the ones that the teacher is addressing. If the OP wants to talk about other things then all she needs to do is email the teacher back and say she realizes her child is doing well academically, but there are other things she needs to discuss with her. Then the teacher will know there is a legitimate reason why the OP still wants to meet with her.

I get what you guys are saying however you are leaving out the fact this is the SECOND time the teacher is saying this.

My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 16. I just find it odd that a teacher would be so "pushy" perhaps to keep parents away.

And frankly, I don't share her "feeling" of frustration of having a "pefect kid" and having to go to PT conference. I really just do not understand that line of thinking.

And to declansdad, the conference with that teacher was private and in her classroom. She enjoys my dd and is there to offer support to her at the moment, because my dd needs it.

 

[sam_gordon]

I get what you guys are saying however you are leaving out the fact this is the SECOND time the teacher is saying this.

My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 16. I just find it odd that a teacher would be so "pushy" perhaps to keep parents away.

And frankly, I don't share her "feeling" of frustration of having a "pefect kid" and having to go to PT conference. I really just do not understand that line of thinking.

And to declansdad, the conference with that teacher was private and in her classroom. She enjoys my dd and is there to offer support to her at the moment, because my dd needs it.

I find it odd you feel the teacher is being "pushy" and trying to "keep parents away". According to the email in the OP, the teacher isn't KEEPING anyone away...

Please let me know if you would like to meet, or if a phone conversation would work better for you.

To me, that means the teacher is willing to meet/talk with any parent about their child. She just wanted (certain) parents to know a meeting isn't REQUIRED (by her). That doesn't mean she'll refuse to meet with the parent of a "perfect" child, just that she doesn't feel the meeting is necessary.

 

[Gigi22]

Just read the first page of this thread. Is now the time to tell you all that my BFF, a retired elementary school teacher, used to refer to the "Meet the Creature" night?

 

[declansdad]

I get what you guys are saying however you are leaving out the fact this is the SECOND time the teacher is saying this.

My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 16. I just find it odd that a teacher would be so "pushy" perhaps to keep parents away.

And frankly, I don't share her "feeling" of frustration of having a "pefect kid" and having to go to PT conference. I really just do not understand that line of thinking.

And to declansdad, the conference with that teacher was private and in her classroom. She enjoys my dd and is there to offer support to her at the moment, because my dd needs it.

I have no idea what you are talking about with the last part. I have made no comment about any conference you have had concerning your daughter.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I have no idea what you are talking about with the last part. I have made no comment about any conference you have had concerning your daughter.

The comment you made in regards to your conferences being "in the open". Sometimes they are private.

We will have to agree to disagree. I do not find the teacher's email "inviting" to come to a PT conference.

All this jazz about "perfect kids" do not need feedback from a teacher is bunk anyway. All kids need feedback, even the "perfect kids".

If a parent signs up for a conference, I don't think it is fair to pressure a parent to cancel. YMMV

 

[luvmy3]

I get what you guys are saying however you are leaving out the fact this is the SECOND time the teacher is saying this.

My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 16. I just find it odd that a teacher would be so "pushy" perhaps to keep parents away.

And frankly, I don't share her "feeling" of frustration of having a "pefect kid" and having to go to PT conference. I really just do not understand that line of thinking.

And to declansdad, the conference with that teacher was private and in her classroom. She enjoys my dd and is there to offer support to her at the moment, because my dd needs it.

The first seemed to be a general announcement to all parents. I think the emails went to parents with kids that are doing well who specifically signed up for the conferences. Maybe the teacher thought they didn't understand, or maybe she thinks they feel pressured to go, I really have no idea. I don't really see it as being pushy, I think she is putting herself into the parent's position, and she can relate. Alot of parents share her frustration. I am fortunate to have kids who are pretty good students, and I do find it a big PIA to make arrangements to get to a 15 minute conference for the teacher to tell me what I already know, that there aren't any problems. I don't feel the need to sit there and see if the teacher knows my kid, or ask about things like socialization, or non academic things.

ETA Just sharing, our conferences are private. The students are released early (half day) and the conferences are held in their classroom. The kids are not allowed to attend, which makes is why ot makes it a PIA to come, since its after they come home from school, and the regular HS student babysitter is still in school.

 

[declansdad]

The comment you made in regards to your conferences being "in the open". Sometimes they are private.

We will have to agree to disagree. I do not find the teacher's email "inviting" to come to a PT conference.

All this jazz about "perfect kids" do not need feedback from a teacher is bunk anyway. All kids need feedback, even the "perfect kids".

If a parent signs up for a conference, I don't think it is fair to pressure a parent to cancel. YMMV

That wasn't me, the only thing I have discussed with you is your interpretation of who was frustrated from the teachers email.

 

[Tinijocaro]

The first time the teacher said it, it was directed to me an one other parent who was on the same side of the room as me. I told her I would like to sign up anyways. When I arrived to open house it was almost over and teacher loudly announced that she hadn't seen her kids (all grown) all day. She didn't want me hanging around asking questions she had just answered which I had no intention of doing. I mainly wanted to see If dd left me a note in her desk and sign up for my conference. While I searched my dd's desk, teacher spoke full volume to a parent of a behavior problem child. I was embarrassed as that should have been a private conversation, perhaps saved for conference day.

Trust me when I assure you that she was not being kind by suggesting not once but twice that I not have a conference.

The first seemed to be a general announcement to all parents. I think the emails went to parents with kids that are doing well who specifically signed up for the conferences. Maybe the teacher thought they didn't understand, or maybe she thinks they feel pressured to go, I really have no idea. I don't really see it as being pushy, I think she is putting herself into the parent's position, and she can relate. Alot of parents share her frustration. I am fortunate to have kids who are pretty good students, and I do find it a big PIA to make arrangements to get to a 15 minute conference for the teacher to tell me what I already know, that there aren't any problems. I don't feel the need to sit there and see if the teacher knows my kid, or ask about things like socialization, or non academic things.

ETA Just sharing, our conferences are private. They students are released early (half day) and the conferences are held in their classroom.