OT Wedding gift for Shower and Reception?

[DisneyBrat]

My best friends daughter is getting married. We were discussing the shower and presents today. Somewhere in the conversation she said said that gifts were given at both venues. I had always been under the assumption that if you give them a gift at the bridal shower then you didn't have to give one day of the wedding. HELP with etiquette here. Personally the bride only wants gift certificates and I don't want to be locked into spending more than I could find a nice gift for.

 

[Kate and Pete]

Where I am, we do give gifts at both. However, I'm so tired so hearing "the bride only wanted GCs..." Who is she to dictate what she receives as a GIFT? You buy her whatever you want - I'm sure she'll like it, as she should be happy to get a gift.

I've been married seven years - since when has a wedding become all about GCs? It should be about the marriage and your family and friends!


Spend what you see fit!

 

[mc'smommy]

Around my area, it always has been a gift for the shower and a gift for the wedding...

 

[annsteere]

If you attend both the wedding and the shower you bring a gift to both.

"I just want GC's" --TACKY! Unless there is some special reason like the couple are leaving the country to live in Africa so transporting gifts would be difficult but they will use the GC's to buy zebra jerky at the local outpost, I'd be likely to be "busy" and skip the shower.

 

[brymolmom]

I agree with PP's I know the type and expense of the gifts vary by region, but it is my belief that it is universal that you bring a gift to both shower and wedding. BTW - for me at least - the shower gift is usually much smaller amount than the wedding gift. You could find some sort of kitchen appliance on a good sale or just do a kitchen 'gadget' basket - a nice basket for serving rolls, etc. filled with spatula, serving spoons, ice cream scooper, kitchen towel set.

I usually gift cash for the wedding gift.

 

[GJM]

Where I come from we give a gift for the shower and cash gift for the wedding.

 

[Alesia]

Traditionally, A shower gift is small. The sort of thing the bride would use around the house, something like dish towels.

Wedding gifts are traditionally bigger.

If you attend both, you give a gift for both.

 

[Lisa_M]

Where I am from it is customary to bring a gift (usually household item) at the shower and a gift of money to the reception. So this bride expects to have a shower of just gift cards? That is ridiculous and sounds so boring. The fun of showers is seeing the gifts.

 

[dhcoffey]

I know these threads can get crazy but I'll throw in my opinion anyway. Around here, South Ga, if you're invited to the showers, then we don't bring a gift to the wedding, too.

Just do what you're comfortable doing and have fun.

Heather

 

[kldmom2000]

I've always been brought up that it's a gift for the shower and cash for the wedding It could be different based on where you live perhaps?

 

[Resseda]

I just have to add...when I hear about all these couples/brides requesting money, or requested gift certificates, it drives me up the wall. I got married 4 years ago, and our whole attitude was "please come to the wedding and share our day". We didn't care about gifts, and, honestly, we were completely blown away by the gifts and money we did receive it. We are in an area where it is typical to "cover your plate", and I will wholeheartedly say, we were as happy with the $20 from one of my girlfriends as we were with the $300 from one of my DH uncle's. I think a lot of brides need a gentle reminder that this is a day to celebrate their wedding and union, not a birthday where you hand out wish lists to everyone you know.

Sorry. /rant.

Ress

 

[mjkacmom]

There was a thread about this a while back - I have never heard of not giving 2 separate gifts, ever, but apparently, there are 2 states in the US where this is the norm. We give a gift off of the registry for the shower (spend about $50), and give cash or check at the wedding ($300).

 

[pyrxtc]

yup, household gift at the shower and cash at the wedding.

 

[Crystal824]

In PA, it is customary to give a gift at the shower and at the wedding. As others have stated, the shower gift is generally a small gift while the wedding gift is larger. Most people give cash as the wedding gift.

 

[derocas]

Where I am from it is customary to bring a gift (usually household item) at the shower and a gift of money to the reception. So this bride expects to have a shower of just gift cards? That is ridiculous and sounds so boring. The fun of showers is seeing the gifts.

Yes this is what we do in my area but from what I've been reading, not all regions of the U.S. give money for the wedding. A lot of places give gifts.

I also agree that requesting gift cards sounds ridiculous. I've never heard of a bride at her shower gifts and saying, "Wow, a gift card to Target and look this gift card is to Macy's."

 

[maggiew]

We give a gift for both the shower and the wedding. For the shower it is something like towels or silverware, etc. from the registry. For the wedding it would be a bigger gift like china (if they registered for that) or a more expensive item from their registry. If no registry, then I pick something based on the couple and what I think they would like.

Maggie

 

[daughtersrus]

I'm in the Chicago area. We've always given a gift for the shower and money for the wedding. I was just at a wedding shower a few weeks ago. I was shocked by some of what was given. The great-aunt of the bride gave her a complete set of dishes from Crate and Barrel that she had registered for. The total was close to $500.00!

I on the other hand, spent about $90 on the gift. The bride is a neighbor/friend of my daughters that we've known since she was 5yo.

 

[puffkin]

In PA, it is customary to give a gift at the shower and at the wedding. As others have stated, the shower gift is generally a small gift while the wedding gift is larger. Most people give cash as the wedding gift.

Same here.


Also, I have attended several showers where the gift registries have been very expensive and above my budget, so I just gave a gift card with the amount I wanted to spend to the store where the registry was at. I always give cash at a wedding.

 

[Melmac]

In my area, it is also customary to give a gift at both the shower and the wedding. Usually, not everyone invited to the wedding is invited to the shower though - just closer friends and family. I do a $50 gift at the shower (usually something off of the registry ... that way, I know they want it) and usually cash for the wedding. The exception to this was for my close cousin's wedding - my mom, sister and I split the dishes that she registered for. I spent the same amount on the dishes that I would have gifted her in cash anyway.

I would never give cash or a gift card for a shower and would be tempted not to attend a shower that asked for either.

 

[MariDisney]

My best friends daughter is getting married. We were discussing the shower and presents today. Somewhere in the conversation she said said that gifts were given at both venues. I had always been under the assumption that if you give them a gift at the bridal shower then you didn't have to give one day of the wedding. HELP with etiquette here. Personally the bride only wants gift certificates and I don't want to be locked into spending more than I could find a nice gift for.

I have never heard of only doing a shower gift. Around here it's usually a household type gift for the shower and cash for the wedding. That said, I am offened to be told what to buy, and I rarely follow instructions about that. I'd buy them whatever you can afford that you think they'd like.