OT: Undesirable Teacher Assignment-What Would You Do?

[anb163]

I say stay with that teacher for now. I remember in third grade I received the so called mean and strict teacher. My grandmother, who knew her, even said she was mean. I was so scared, but my mom kept me in the class. I don't believe she considered changing me. It turns out she was one of the best teachers I ever had. She did make us work and didn't put up with nonsense, but I would say she had a great influence on me.

 

[Ozymoe]

Our youngest children are now 17, girls, excellent students (between the twins they have a three year total of one B and the rest A's (would be entering senior year in high school, but I am taking them out for a year to go to Epcot F&W Festival, Washington DC, New York, Caribbean and Germany (I know, mean mother, ruining their senior year...but my DH and I did leave the choice up to them...some of their friends were horrified..."But you'll be a whole year behind for college!"...lol, they are May babies so they are already some of the youngest in their class.

Anyway...when they were in third grade they went to two different teachers...one, a teacher everyone, parents and students raved about...the other, a teacher several parents (and students!) told me was much harder than the other. The first was a woman, a lovely person who was loved by all her students...the second a man who was never spoken of with the same devotion.

You can imagine how hard it was for Valerie when the lists came out and Elise had the favorite teacher and she had the "hard" one. When my DH and I met the teachers we found many positive things to say about Valerie's "hard" teacher...since after talking to him we were impressed (and puzzled as to why he had a "hard" reputation since we found him most pleasant, indeed, a kindred spirit!)

Long story short...Elise had a predictably ordinary year with the "favorite" teacher and Valerie had an adventurous, exiting year with hers (he had them tracking the Iditarod on a class computer, they did amazing hands-on experiments with plants, also household "chemicals" (lemon juice, vinegar, baking soda etc.) We were so impressed with his teaching gift we requested that both girls have him for the following year!

Lol...I DO remember their first day of school when Elise went to the Favorite Teacher and Valerie went to the Teacher Who Was Hard. Although I didn't interfere (or show any negative emotion), it was difficult to wait through the days for Valerie to recognize that SHE was the one who actually had the best teacher. (...it was equally as difficult to live through the last of the school year when Elise wished to be this teacher's student!)

Luckily, they BOTH had him for the following year. To this day, both girls fondly remember this teacher and credit him with awakening many of their current interests as he continued to both challenge them and make them smile!

I would urge you to talk to this teacher and form your own opinion before you dismiss him/her.

 

[mlwear]

As a third/fourth grade teacher with 25 years experience, I had to chime in on this topic. I agree that talking to your child's current teacher is an excellent idea. I totally disagree as a parent, however, that your child should "tough it out" and learn an early life lesson about dealing with difficult people. A child in a self-contained, elementary classroom spends more waking hours with their teachers than their parents. I personally want someone who respects that responsibility and treats each and every child accordingly. I always tell my students that I am trusted by their parents to take the best care of them while they are with me. Yes, being strict and making sure your child learns is important, but so is their emotional well-being. As a parent, I feel you need to do your homework about the real story of this teacher, and act in the best interest of your child.

Will you be my son's teacher? We need more teachers like you!

JMHO, but since other parents are telling you the teacher is odd and difficult and your neighbor who is a teacher at the school said she should have retired by now (did you also write that neighbor wouldn't let her son in her class), I wouldn't wait for the next school year on this one. Try to get some specific information of what this teacher does or doesn't do and how it would hinder your daughter's education. Then with that information go ask for a different placement. As a pp wrote, you should not ask for a specific teacher as most principals have a policy against granting those requests. You have good reason to believe that you are just waiting for a problem, nip it at the bud. A change after the school year has started is much less likely to happen. Save yourself and your DD the potetial grief. I am sure that of the other teachers is strict but also a good teacher. Your job is to be sure your DD gets the best education. You don't need to worry about giving the teacher any benefit of the doubt--not your problem.

 

[princesspumpkin]

I'd say give the teacher a chance, as well. My experience - DD's first grade teacher. At the end of kind., we saw who this teacher would be. She looked "mean" to me, kind of unhappy. This would be her first teaching assignment. I didn't want DD to have her, but I didn't complain. On the first day of class (parents were there - it was sort of an orientation), after addressing all of us, she told the kids start doing some work that she had placed on their desks. No ifs, ands or buts, get to working. She seemed to lack warmth, sort of military style. I feared for my sensitive DD. EAch parent/teacher conference, she had the same demeanor. DD never complained, learned a ton of stuff and received her best standardized test scores to this date. DH and I constantly compare DD's subsequent teachers with her first grade one. No on else compares. Perception

 

[eeyore45]

I"m also a teacher. I've been in the school, and there are teachers that can be horrid... and I've always been shocked at how the school handles "the elephant in the room"...

I dont care that I may have "made waves" my dd deserves to have an advocate, and I will write emails to the teacher, or to the principal - I will not get involved to change, but to question, I try very hard not to put a teacher on the defensive... I leave messages, or emails to be returned at their discretion (maybe 4 last year! I went on 2 field trips - and both bombed, which I just chuckled because the horrid teacher has a "holier than thou attitude" the field trip mistakes she made proved she was human, and we just laughed, but I did mention "everyone makes mistakes" - she sent home the letter about the field trip was to see the Penguins at the Shedd Aquarium, but didnt pay the extra $4 per student to get into that area - dolphins and penguin area!! It became a learning tool for my group, as she actually 'snuck' her group in!! My group wanted me too - nope, we literally sat down and had a discussion... what if everyone did that? why do they charge extra? etc..)

Is it harder on dd? I dont know, but in the end, my job is to keep my child safe. when ds was in a 1st grade class, the buzz on a 2nd grade teacher was horrific, kids starting bed wetting, the recess teacher's complaining, etc. all well founded incidents - the admin said she must keep her door open? THAT solves NOTHING! 2 parents pulled their kids and placed them in private school, because there is NO changing - no one would keep a child in that environment if there was a choice!

And for all the negatives about tenure, let me remind you, school districts the people in power are few, and its cheaper to get rid of old fat women, and replace them with new fresh faces - but the admin, superintendents, principals, THERE is the job security, THERE is the "good ole boy network"

I rather change the topic of tenure over to political tenure - talk about money and job security - the retirement benifets in govt are astronomical!!

 

[mimif1]

I volunteer a lot in our school (not necessarily in my daughters' classes but in the whole school) and I love a lot of the strict teachers! That being said, there are several in our school that I would homeschool if my children had to be in their classrooms. I really love the fact that our pricipal lets us non-request one teacher per year if you have a valid reason, and she tries to honor all non-requests. I have had two different teachers tell me they can't stand the kids in their room. Do I want my daughter in there? No way! Do I listen to the buzz from other kids and parents? Yes. I also have the time to get to know each teacher personally, and I know that some of the buzz is warrented. I try to find out exactly what another person doesn't like about a teacher. Is it teaching style or is it really verbal abuse? Does the teacher yell and insult or just expect work to be completed on time and expect respect. It makes a difference to me on whether I'll non-request a teacher or not. My DDs are very different and I might non-request a teacher for one and not the other because they perform best in different situations. I would really ask why a teacher isn't liked.

 

[my3kids]

We've had it happen a few times. It always turned out okay. Once it was truely "okay." another was the best assignement any of the children actually ended up in any school year. I wouldn't do anything. At least in our schools I've found those doing the assignments really do know the kids and the teachers and try to put both groups of children together for a reason and kids with teachers where the kids are likely to do well.

 

[mamalle]

I would just wait and see. I would be worried about "labeling" before the class even started.

 

[snowy76]

To the OP: My DD was in similar situation one year ago. Our DS had a particular teacher and couldn't stand her. When DD was assigned to the same teacher, she cried and cried. DS finally admitted he hated her b/c she didn't allow him to talk with his friends during work time, and she made him clean his desk every week (he is a pack rat). Our DD is quiet and is very neat/organized. She thrived in the same classroom setting and rules that drove DS crazy. So DD and the teacher were a better fit, and DD loved her.

But.... if you decide to pursue this, I would not say anything to DD. In case it doesn't work out, you don't want your daughter being resentful of the teacher at the start of the school year. Kids have to learn to make do in situations that are not ideal. They also need to see their teachers and parents working as partners or they're going to feel it's okay to defy/disrespect the teacher.

His teacher isn't just strict, but genuinely doesn't like him, according to my sister, who works in the same school.

I'm sorry about your DN's situation. Teaching a colleague's kids can get sticky. Perhaps this teacher is feeling (rightly or wrongly) second-guessed and is allowing herself (wrongly) to take it out on the student.

Last year my favorite student's mom worked in the school (not a teacher). I found myself constantly interrupted by her, during lessons, several times per week to check on him. I felt like she was checking on me, too. It was very frustrating to feel like my judgment wasn't trusted, even though this boy loved my class and got good grades. While I did not let my feelings about mom reflect on the son (he was such a darling!) I'm sure not all teachers do this.

 

[momm2four]

Ok, I typed out a long reply, but then deleted it all b/c it was starting to rival War and Peace . I then went back and read a few more replies, which resulted in my trying to reply again.

I would say look into changing her teacher, and here's why I think so.

As a teacher, I know that kids don't want the "strict" teachers, so I wouldn't pay a whole lot of attention to that argument. I also know that parents have a gossip network that rivals CNN, and their opinions of teachers is usually based on what "so and so" said, so, once again, I wouldn't give that too much weight either.

The comment that makes me say change her is what one of the fellow teachers said. If a teacher who worked with her says that it is time for her to retire, that sends up a serious red flag to me.

I have worked with teachers that have caused me to say exactly the same thing. A school's staff knows who the burned out, over extended teachers are. We had one of those at my middle school, and EVERYONE knew she should retire. It was almost sad to watch. Thank goodness, she chose to this year. I'm hoping and praying now that we get a wonderful science teacher who can get kids excited about his/her subject.

Good luck with your decision,
Lori P.