OT: To go to K or not to go to K? That is the question!

[letsgoreds]

OP Here..

For right now my choice is the half day Kindergarten program. The reasons are simply that he is not doing half of the things that are required to enter K and while I will continue to help and work with him everyday, unless he can do more than half of this required list (and yes it does say required), I will start him in half day. If he, his teacher and I think he could be ready for full time in the middle of the year, then I can always switch him. I cannot go the other way though, as the half day program is full. If he does need to repeat after a year of half K, then at least it will be a different school, where he does not have peers that know he was "Held back" and only the adults would know. If he does great and is ready to move into first grade next year, then he will go right to first grade and either way it will be at a different school. This is because there is only one half day program offered in our school district and it is not our home school..

I hope that everyone knows that I would never hold my child back for stupid reasons like sports advantage..ect..I don't even want him to have an "advantage" per se..I just want him to be at the same level going in. I don't want to set him up to fail. Him being a September baby gives us this option yes, BUT it is not the reason that I am basing the decision on. The decision is based on his readiness and attention span, eagerness to learn, maturity level..ect..

I have to pick something and stick to it, as I am driving my self CRAZY..so right now this is the plan..

Sounds like a perfect idea! Young kiddos can have huge jumps in abilities at this age, particularly in the right environment. Love that he can do full day K next year or potentially halfway through this year, giving him a better shot at a successful first grade next year if you/he wants to. Best of luck!

I was so happy when my second son was born in March

 

[boygirlmama]

My vote is for K, and probably half day as a good compromise. I am only in favor of holding a child back or not starting on time if there are developmental delays. Back in the 1980's I was THAT child that was one of the oldest in the class, not because of red shirting but because our K cutoff was 2 months before my birthday. I was ready for K, but had to do pre-K instead and until high school I didn't truly feel challenged. It was suggested I skip a grade one year, but my parents wouldn't hear of it for social reasons.
My nephew did repeat K and that was a good choice for him- he did much better the second year. So that's an option too if this year doesn't go well, but there's every reason to believe it will. It's my experience from my own son that children are at very different levels when they enter K. My son was born in February and missed the NY cutoff by a few months just like I did. So he did pre-K, and with K being so different than it used to be, he was just better prepared for K by doing it. But then the first half of the year was also like a repeat for him and he was bored a lot. He was slightly more challenged in 1st grade, thanks to a teacher who kept in communication with me about finding things to challenge him, but she noticed on her own that he needed the challenge and offered it. Long story short, I think it's best to keep him with the grade level he should be at because it's very likely as other posters have said that he will surprise you.

 

[ChitownFamily]

OP Here..

For right now my choice is the half day Kindergarten program. The reasons are simply that he is not doing half of the things that are required to enter K and while I will continue to help and work with him everyday, unless he can do more than half of this required list (and yes it does say required), I will start him in half day. If he, his teacher and I think he could be ready for full time in the middle of the year, then I can always switch him. I cannot go the other way though, as the half day program is full. If he does need to repeat after a year of half K, then at least it will be a different school, where he does not have peers that know he was "Held back" and only the adults would know. If he does great and is ready to move into first grade next year, then he will go right to first grade and either way it will be at a different school. This is because there is only one half day program offered in our school district and it is not our home school..

I hope that everyone knows that I would never hold my child back for stupid reasons like sports advantage..ect..I don't even want him to have an "advantage" per se..I just want him to be at the same level going in. I don't want to set him up to fail. Him being a September baby gives us this option yes, BUT it is not the reason that I am basing the decision on. The decision is based on his readiness and attention span, eagerness to learn, maturity level..ect..

I have to pick something and stick to it, as I am driving my self CRAZY..so right now this is the plan..

i saw you spoke with the preschool director who sounded like she gave great advice. It also sounded like she felt like your son would benefit from the services the school district offers. I saw several posts ask if your school districts offers early intervention or kindergarten screening. I didn't see any response to this..i might have missed it.
in making the 1/2 day decision did you get a chance to talk directly to the school district? Although i agree 1/2 K is a gentler version of K. It still requires the same skills as K. Have you had an opportunity to ask about screenings or services? Would services require full day kindergarten enrollment?

How is working at home going? Have you tried working different ways- (ie moving away from worksheets) Some fun ways to get him moving & learning. Sidewalk chalk the ABC's- have him jump to different letters. Or pour salt into a cookie sheet & have him practicing writing. Boys tend to lag in their fine motor handwriting skills. So something like a salt tray, finger painting, painting with pudding, gets the motion of the letters in a less intimidating way. Even molding, squishing play dough develops handwriting muscles.
The best part- there a ton of awesome early childhood blogs out there that have so many easy to do at home ideas.
The skills are important BUT igniting his love of learning is far more useful & important. Right now, you have a chance to get him hooked into learning & being inquisitive, worksheets & drills will extinguish the flame very quickly. I have a family who struggles with a language related learning disability- reading is harder for this person, BUT they are always carrying around a book or magazine. She loves to read. as a child they were encouraged to love books no matter the reading level or how long it took to complete.
Best of luck!

I would happy to share any blogs or resources. if he is struggling with something specifically, i have a ton of ideas (from my work)

 

[PartOfYourWDWorld]

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Our school district used to have this program called the young fives program which I knew three years ago I would want him to be in. Unfortunately they did away with this program.

Ugh, what a bummer that they're not offering it anymore. I'm in the same position as you - DD4 has a late September birthday but our deadline this year is Oct. 1 so she makes it. However, like you said, I know she's not ready. I would happily send her if she was, but she's not. We still have Young 5s here, so that made our decision easier, but there were two things that really struck a chord. 1) Her preschool teacher said that in K, "There is going to be one teacher and 25 kids. Some kids are going to swim, but other will sink. You always want them to go in at the top." And then at the orientation for Young 5s, the first thing the principal said was, "Thank you for giving your child the gift of time." That was two months ago and there hasn't been a single doubt in my mind since then.

You know what's best for your child, and you are his biggest advocate. Go with your gut

 

[rharper1496]

Go with your gut! You know your child best. I would rather someone keep their child back and them do well then to push them into starting when they truly aren't ready. I don't think many people up here in Canada red shirt, and if they do it's because the child isn't ready for Kindergarten. I've never heard of anyone up here holding their child back just so they can be the oldest/biggest. Now that we have full day Kindergarten, it's the opposite. Parents want to send them early since it means they don't have to pay for full day daycare.

I don't know about BC but in Ontario you can't Red Shirt. It's not possible. The cut off date is Dec 31 for everyone and we start with jr kindergarten at 4 so everyone who turns 4 by the end of the calendar year is eligible. My nephew (2007 baby) was still in the process of getting his ASD diagnosis so we held him out of JK since the school would have trouble securing the right accommodations without the diagnosis. When he did start in 2012 he was put into sr kindergarten with all of the other 2007 babies, they didn't start him in JK with the 2008s. JK and SK aren't mandatory at all but if you choose to wait until your kid is 6 to start then you're starting with the grade 1s. Barring a child being skipped or held back to repeat a grade the biggest age difference you will ever see is 364 days and that's only if you had a Dec 31st baby and a Jan 1st baby in the same class.

I know a few parents who held back on JK to get the extra year to mature but most don't because a kid who is the youngest in the class in JK will still be the youngest in SK, Gr 1, etc;


The idea of a 7 year old kindergartener is blowing my mind a little bit. A 7 year old here is a grade 2/3 student.

 

[cheer25mom]

I don't know about BC but in Ontario you can't Red Shirt. It's not possible. The cut off date is Dec 31 for everyone and we start with jr kindergarten at 4 so everyone who turns 4 by the end of the calendar year is eligible. My nephew (2007 baby) was still in the process of getting his ASD diagnosis so we held him out of JK since the school would have trouble securing the right accommodations without the diagnosis. When he did start in 2012 he was put into sr kindergarten with all of the other 2007 babies, they didn't start him in JK with the 2008s. JK and SK aren't mandatory at all but if you choose to wait until your kid is 6 to start then you're starting with the grade 1s. Barring a child being skipped or held back to repeat a grade the biggest age difference you will ever see is 364 days and that's only if you had a Dec 31st baby and a Jan 1st baby in the same class.

I know a few parents who held back on JK to get the extra year to mature but most don't because a kid who is the youngest in the class in JK will still be the youngest in SK, Gr 1, etc;


The idea of a 7 year old kindergartener is blowing my mind a little bit. A 7 year old here is a grade 2/3 student.

So wish that this system was in place in the US. It never even entered my mind that a parent would voluntarily allow their child to be 7 in K, much less encourage it until DD started school.

 

[jubelee1872000]

Op here-just in case anyone was subbing or wondered what happened w went with the half day K for DS. so far i have been happy with that choice and he has been doing alright. he loves school but he has his red days..we will se what confefences hold...

 

[WantToGoNow]

When my son was in K he was 5 (turned 5 in May, started mid-August). There was a mom next to me who lived down the street from us. Her son was already 7 (no idea how she kept him out that long and didn't get in trouble) and would be turning 8 a few months later. That boy was/is huge compared to the other kids. He bullied my son from 2-4th grades until he finally beat him badly and was threatened with expulsion. They were on the same 7th grade football team this year and that kid is almost 15 now with a bunch of 12-13 year olds.

 

[justhat]

Glad to hear it's working well so far! My son turned 5 a week before K (August birthday) and K and 1 were pretty average years, and his maturity was that of a young kid for his grade. But this year, 2nd grade, he has taken off academically, maturity wise, just all around doing really well. Much better, in fact, than the kids who are a year+ older than him. He was in half day K with a full day supplement (as we only have half day K in AZ), and knew about as much going into K as your son in your OP.

 

[sweetlovin']

Glad it is working out !!

 

[cjbcam]

I wish the rule was your kid has to be five the first day of classes. I held my DD back (birthday Dec14) cut off is last day in Dec. My first daughter was born in Jan and so when it came to put my second DD in I thought it was crazy to put her in the year after the first started when they are almost two years apart. It seems to me she would not be allowed to go to most schools cause their cut offs are before dec so what makes her able to go to the one here? It would make sense to have everyone the same age when they start.

 

[no1steelerfn]

Wow my DD turned 5 14 days after the cutoff, and we had no choice but to hold her back due to district policy. She is in a pre k program and doing awesome. I 100% support red shirting, I was not red shirted and should have been. I was young, immature and naive right up until graduation.

 

[jubelee1872000]

I don't know if anyone follows this thread anymore but I'm the original poster here..

Just a little update my son is now 6. He did the half day program and struggled with his academics and maturity. He is now in our home school and does full day Kindergarten. Just seeing him in the class, laments my decision completely. He was much more ready for school this year and is right at level with this friends and peers. We still have a couple days a week of getting on the yellow or orange for his "silliness" but overall I'm happy with the decision.

 

[Stacyleigh1999]

I say wait til next year. Boys are typically more immature than girls and need the extra time before Kinder. Also in the long run he will be very young high schooler as well and this can hinder him in sports and maturity in the future. I do think he is a bit behind as far as what he knows but my just turned 5yr old is a little ahead so my judgment could be off.

 

[DopeyDame]

I don't know if anyone follows this thread anymore but I'm the original poster here..

Just a little update my son is now 6. He did the half day program and struggled with his academics and maturity. He is now in our home school and does full day Kindergarten. Just seeing him in the class, laments my decision completely. He was much more ready for school this year and is right at level with this friends and peers. We still have a couple days a week of getting on the yellow or orange for his "silliness" but overall I'm happy with the decision.

GREAT! Thanks for coming back to update us and I'm so happy that it worked out for your son.

 

[Lupeix]

I don't know if anyone follows this thread anymore but I'm the original poster here..

Just a little update my son is now 6. He did the half day program and struggled with his academics and maturity. He is now in our home school and does full day Kindergarten. Just seeing him in the class, laments my decision completely. He was much more ready for school this year and is right at level with this friends and peers. We still have a couple days a week of getting on the yellow or orange for his "silliness" but overall I'm happy with the decision.

Don't feel bad about your original decision, sometimes as parents we learn by trial an error. I am glad your son is happy now, and that is all that really matters, not how much he can count or how many letters he can write. He should enjoy learning something not be pushed to do so. Follow your instincts about your son, because you know him best.

As someone that studies learning at the scientific level and teaches undergraduate and graduate students at a University, it really concerns me how children are being pushed to know more and more at an earlier age. All they do is accumulate information, as opposed to learning something because they are truly curious about it (of course if your kid is truly interested in numbers by 3 then by all means teach him). In the process they become used to always being directed to do things, or choose between a small number of allowed things, and fall apart as freshman in college. I am appalled at the lack of critical thinking I see in some of my students that come with amazing high school GPAs. They do multiple choice really well, but cannot answer open ended questions.

Kids can "learn" to read and write earlier than first grade, but it takes much more effort for them and deprives them of other experiences that help them become confident in themselves and self-directed. A child that starts reading and writing at 7 quickly catches up to its peers that started earlier, provided that he has otherwise been nurtured. But the kids that started earlier cannot get back the free play lost.