Moms with boys, bathroom question

[slcmom]

I have visited WDW and DL often with a mentally challenged son and young grandkids. It's a real worry. Often men's restrooms have more than one exit, so I'll be waiting at one door and my ds wanders out another door! Companion restrooms are a real blessing. My solution was to not overhydrate myself so that I didn't need to use the restrooms myself (I'm not recommending this, you understand, it just served the purpose at the time), and camped outside the men's room, frequently calling in to make sure he hadn't left via another door.

Thank heavens those days are over!

 

[MSSANDRA]

No matter what what age you think a child should be or what sex your child is...you need to be sure that your child that goes into bathroom alone is capable of going into the stall, locking AND unlocking it on their own (yep, there was a little girl in the bathroom alone at a local restaurant that had got the door lock and could NOT figure out how to unlock it), can fasten their pants, can reach the soap, turn on the water, wash hands, turn off the water, reach the paper towels and leave the bathroom through the correct door. I can not count how many times I have seen little girls unable to take care of matters on their on. I have been asked for help on MANY occasions. I am glad to hand her a paper towel, but no way am I going to snap pants for a child.

 

[bella2117]

All I know is that when me and my family are vacationing in Disney my boys will never leave my side if DD is not around at the time nature calls. Its a bathroom people! My two boys will be in the stall with me like we always do when its just the three of us

 

[DisneyWalle]

Thank you for sharing the whistle idea. That's great.

I have taken the kids to the Companion Restrooms. I always checked to make sure on one was around, there was no line. We hurried. No dawdling. No one was waiting when we left.

I'm sorry about what happened to the boys. That's traumatic, especially out of the blue like that.

I shared the whistle idea in hopes that another family might find it useful. It definitely helped us and the boys didn't find it uncomfortable to wear (because really what child doesn't like a whistle). However, we didn't allow them to play with these (the sound that these whistles emit is ear-splitting; which is the reason I chose them). There was no way people wouldn't have looked around to see what had made that loud noise.

Prior to the trip, we tested them to see if they actually were loud and the answer to that is a resounding YES. They actually hurt our ears.

I attached the whistles to their pin lanyards so they were always within reach.

 

[Burnedout]

I shared the whistle idea in hopes that another family might find it useful. It definitely helped us and the boys didn't find it uncomfortable to wear (because really what child doesn't like a whistle). However, we didn't allow them to play with these (the sound that these whistles emit is ear-splitting; which is the reason I chose them). There was no way people wouldn't have looked around to see what had made that loud noise.

Prior to the trip, we tested them to see if they actually were loud and the answer to that is a resounding YES. They actually hurt our ears.

I attached the whistles to their pin lanyards so they were always within reach.

The whistle empowers the child. Perpetrators pick children base on a lot of stuff. A crowded men's restroom at disney is not the place to hurt a child. A child who exudes confidence is very unlikely to be victimized. Giving your kid confidence and tools is the best thing you can do for a boy. Don't reinforce the idea that men are dangerous to boys who will become men.

If your child is not developmentally able to be alone that is a whole different story. Some situations really are in new of constant surveillance. In that case take them into the stall and monitor them out of respect for the women and young girls in the girls restroom.

 

[Tinkerpeas hubby]

Your ridiculous. Your saying protecting our young children is going to turn them into child molesters when they are allowed to use the restrooms by themselves?! Really!

Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

She was not saying that at all!!

If you read it she says that due to what other posters have been saying about the men in the men's room, your child when they grow up will be the statistic that the posters are on about! Purely Because they will be the grown men using the bathroom,
Not that because your protecting your child and making them use the girls room that they will turn into predators!

 

[4HppyCamprs]

She was not saying that at all!!

If you read it she says that due to what other posters have been saying about the men in the men's room, your child when they grow up will be the statistic that the posters are on about! Purely Because they will be the grown men using the bathroom,
Not that because your protecting your child and making them use the girls room that they will turn into predators!

Actually that person said it twice. That yes by not forcing a child into the men's room and making them use it at a young age the child would become a predator once they were allowed to use the restroom on their own.

It is not hysteria that makes moms want to give our children safety it is a reality that nobody wants to be a statistic with either missing children or abused children (whatever kind of abuse). Every child reaches a age where they no longer want to go in the opposite genders bathroom and I think the whistle idea is great. It makes parents and children feel better about the whole situation.
Sent from my iPhone using DISBoards

 

[4HppyCamprs]

[delete don't want to get into into it

 

[MomNeedsVacay]

I love the whistle idea!! I also am extra paranoid b/c a family friend (male) got molested in a mall bathroom at age 12 ...and it makes me so angry.

 

[bartleby1]

Psst the people in the room are strangers as well. What does your son do on a school field trip? I'm sure the teacher doesn't take him to the girls room. And at school! There might be a parent there or a teacher he doesn't know!

On school trips here, kids are taught the buddy system and they go in pairs or small groups. Safety in numbers. Schools around here are locked and all visitors must be buzzed in and I.D. Is checked. I certainly hope that all schools are taking the same precautions after what happened in Connecticut. Could a teacher be a predator? Sure. However, they are at least background checked to reduce the chances. Florida has a ridiculously high amount of sex offenders registered. Not sure why this is, but it is. To compare a child using a bathroom in their school to using a bathroom in Disney really isn't a fair comparison.

 

[mirage0306]

My son went into the men's restroom by himself at WDW at age 6.

So did mine. However, my older son was 9 last year and they usually went together.

 

[mirage0306]

All I know is that when me and my family are vacationing in Disney my boys will never leave my side if DD is not around at the time nature calls. Its a bathroom people! My two boys will be in the stall with me like we always do when its just the three of us

Just out of curiosity, how old are your kids?

 

[luvmy3]

No, he's a normal 9 year old. I don't feel the need to bring him in the stall with me...he's 9, not 2. Why would having a 9 year old standing by the sinks waiting for me or himself going to the bathroom in his own stall make anyone uncomfortable? It's a bathroom not a public changing room.

Safer standing in the same room as me or standing outside the door with a bunch of strangers passing by...hmmm, tough one, lol. If people weren't so uptight about things, this wouldn't even be a discussion. It's a BATHROOM....we ALL use it and it shouldn't be a big deal. I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable leaving my son off by himself while I use the bathroom. I could really care less if some stick up the butt mother is scared that my son might have x-ray vision and see through stall doors.

Funny, how you have such strong words for some moms. The fact is some of us have daughters who certainly wouldn't be comfortable with a 9 year old boy in the restroom she uses.
You just need to get over your paranoia and fear that every male in the restroom is going to molest your child, and let him use the bathroom he is supposed to be using at that age. Or like others mentioned, find a family restroom because your "issue" shouldn't trump the wants of the women and girls who have to use the women's bathroom. Your 9 year old male doesn't have to, he has his own option.
And yes, I know what I'm talking about since I have a 9 year old, 4th grader who would never be OKay with me bringing him into the women's restroom, and with good reason, he is way too old.

 

[maxiesmom]

I have no problems with little boys in the ladies room. There are stalls so everything private is in a stall. I'd just take my boy into the handicapped stall.

Next time you are at WDW I want you to notice how the stalls are built. Many, of not most of them, have huge gaps. I can't remember a one that was a solid wall with no way for someone to see inside, either on purpose or on accident.

If someone is that worried that their 9 year old will be taken/wander off, then they need to take them into the stall with them, and not leave them out and about in the womens restroom. If anyone should have to forfeit their modesty for the sake of a child it should be the parent. And not everyone else.

I wouldn't be thrilled to be seen myself, but I would get over it. But I think the 12 and 13 year old girls deserve some privacy in what is supposed to be a gender specific restroom. Especially when they are dealing with that time of the month and all it entails.

 

[Gracie09]

On school trips here, kids are taught the buddy system and they go in pairs or small groups. Safety in numbers. Schools around here are locked and all visitors must be buzzed in and I.D. Is checked. I certainly hope that all schools are taking the same precautions after what happened in Connecticut. Could a teacher be a predator? Sure. However, they are at least background checked to reduce the chances. Florida has a ridiculously high amount of sex offenders registered. Not sure why this is, but it is. To compare a child using a bathroom in their school to using a bathroom in Disney really isn't a fair comparison.

You're right because a kid is much more likely to be molested or kidnapped by a teacher or parent or paraprofessional at school than in wdw. Where there have been three reported incidences of molestation. Two were perpetrated by relatives of the victim and the other was in a wave pool and unsubstantiated.

 

[mirage0306]

Funny, how you have such strong words for some moms. The fact is some of us have daughters who certainly wouldn't be comfortable with a 9 year old boy in the restroom she uses.
You just need to get over your paranoia and fear that every male in the restroom is going to molest your child, and let him use the bathroom he is supposed to be using at that age. Or like others mentioned, find a family restroom because your "issue" shouldn't trump the wants of the women and girls who have to use the women's bathroom. Your 9 year old male doesn't have to, he has his own option.
And yes, I know what I'm talking about since I have a 9 year old, 4th grader who would never be OKay with me bringing him into the women's restroom, and with good reason, he is way too old.

I have a ten year old who just finished 4th grade. I completely agree with you.

Obviously our job as parents is to keep our children safe. But in addition to that, as they grow, we have to give them space. I'm quite sure no one on this board wants their child--or any other child--to be molested, but you have to weigh the risks. A 9 or 10 year old going to the bathroom alone (or with a sibling) has a very, very small chance of being molested. IMO, it's better to teach our children how to protect themselves (go in with a buddy, a whistle, whatever) than to shield them when they are supposed to be gaining independence.

 

[bella2117]

Just out of curiosity, how old are your kids?

5 and 3...definitely don't feel comfortable letting them go by themselves and I don't mind sharing a stall with them if I need to. Now if my my kids were a little bit older say 7 and 9 then totally different story. They can take each other with me standing waiting for them.

 

[bartleby1]

You're right because a kid is much more likely to be molested or kidnapped by a teacher or parent or paraprofessional at school than in wdw. Where there have been three reported incidences of molestation. Two were perpetrated by relatives of the victim and the other was in a wave pool and unsubstantiated.

And perhaps the reason that there haven't been more incidents is because parents have their guard up at places like Disney and are less likely to have their children out of their sight. To me, this means we all need to be more diligent in protecting our children in familiar situations, not less diligent in public ones.

This discussion actually makes me wonder what the actual law states on children being left alone, even temporarily, outside a bathroom.. I know many states will bring a parent up on charges if they leave children unattended in a car (yes, even for a minute) or leave your child home alone at all. I know their was a case in the past few months of a women who had her children taken away by child protective services because they were out playing on her front lawn while she cooked dinner, watching them from the window. I do not know the final outcome of the case but the police did remove them at least temporarily.

 

[mirage0306]

5 and 3...definitely don't feel comfortable letting them go by themselves and I don't mind sharing a stall with them if I need to. Now if my my kids were a little bit older say 7 and 9 then totally different story. They can take each other with me standing waiting for them.

Oh yes, that's young still! i just couldn't tell from your post and was curious. At those ages, I would have kept my kids with me in the restroom, too!

 

[mirage0306]

And perhaps the reason that there haven't been more incidents is because parents have their guard up at places like Disney and are less likely to have their children out of their sight. To me, this means we all need to be more diligent in protecting our children in familiar situations, not less diligent in public ones.

This discussion actually makes me wonder what the actual law states on children being left alone, even temporarily, outside a bathroom.. I know many states will bring a parent up on charges if they leave children unattended in a car (yes, even for a minute) or leave your child home alone at all. I know their was a case in the past few months of a women who had her children taken away by child protective services because they were out playing on her front lawn while she cooked dinner, watching them from the window. I do not know the final outcome of the case but the police did remove them at least temporarily.

Really? Someone lost their kids to CPS for playing in the front yard? Did they charge her with neglect? How old were the kids?

Here is a chart that lists the minimum ages for children to be left home alone. http://www.latchkey-kids.com/latchkey-kids-age-limits.htm Most states have no age restrictions at all.

The car thing I get--kids can die in hot cars really fast and should not be left alone in them.

FWIW, I can't seem to find anything on laws about children going into a bathroom alone.

it's probably been recommended on here, but if you (the general you) have not read Protecting the Gift, I highly recommend you do. I worry about a lot of things with my kids, but getting molested in a public bathroom is just not very high on the list.