land line, internet, dish advice needed

[ssawka]

Thank you to all for the input. My issues with spending are to get my family what they need. Yes there have been trips but I wanted my daughter to experience WDW before she gets to school and they frown upon you taking a child out of the classes. She is extremely bright and I just wanted her to have what I could give her. Anyway, I am very money aware where my DH spends and has no reguard for anything I have talked to him about. I have made countless budgets and gone over them with him. I opened a separate account for him to use for his smoking and fast food spending. No matter what I do or say he never supports nor helps cut back. His hobbies are anything with wheels and motors so nothing there is cheap. Our marriage has one huge problem and it is money. I was just looking for ways to cut back on household items since I do not get help from DH. I am going to a financial counseling session this week and looking into refi my mortgage. I normally am very good with finances but I am losing a battle with no help or changes from the spouse. He is the problem because he feels he earns his money so he can spend it how he wants. I do not like cc debt and we are carrying some and we owe my mother some money. We are not dire at all i am just looking for suggestions as to how to cut back when all my husband says is cut back the auto insurance. With our luck the moment I do something will happen so I was looking at unneccessary bills. I do shop Aldi and use coupons when I find them and buy majority of my DD and I clothes on clearance when needed.
Once again thank you to all and hope some of this backround helps clarify

Sorry if this thread has been derailed, but I just wanted to say to be careful on how far you push your husband. While I agree that carrying a CC debt is a bit much and dangerous, do not ask him to give up his hobbies and interest. Cutting back is fine, but take it from a guy, if you ask him to give up his hobbies and interests all together he will become resentful and will view you as controlling. Just my 2₵!

 

[Tiger926]

Any chump change you save by trimming expenses will only increase the amount available to spend on vacations and hobbies. The marriage/spending issues are what need addressing....you don't have issues because you couldn't save $20 on your phone so you can't solve the problem by saving $20 on the phone.

I agree with this. No matter how much *you* might save, it's good odds that he's going to spend it. You could save, say $100, and he'll look at it as having $100 more to spend on his hobbies or whatnot.

I think though that multiple trips to Disney within a short amount of time adds up, and so by cutting down on vacations, she can then apply that money elsewhere.

It's all about balance and spreading the money around. On the other hand, since OP's DH has issues, he may just try and use that money for one of his hobbies or blow it on something else.

I do agree that OP's hubby needs to work on his issues, as it won't matter how much money the OP saves in her budget, since it sounds like he will just spend it anyway.

I feel for the OP in that it sounds like she is up against a big battle. Saving 20 here or there on a phone bill or Internet, isn't really addressing the real problem.

Sorry if this thread has been derailed, but I just wanted to say to be careful on how far you push your husband. While I agree that carrying a CC debt is a bit much and dangerous, do not ask him to give up his hobbies and interest. Cutting back is fine, but take it from a guy, if you ask him to give up his hobbies and interests all together he will become resentful and will view you as controlling. Just my 2₵!

Yeah, sorry, but if DH is spending way too much on hobbies, due to bad judgment, inability to compromise, save, etc., and it's affecting the household or family, then it's time to put an end to it.

It's just like children whose extracurricular activities or hobbies affect their grades. When that happens, the hobbies are put on hold. This is what it sounds like OP is up against - a grown adult who for whatever reason won't give up expensive habits such as smoking and cars. Those hobbies are now affecting the family, and here is OP, trying to make things better for her family, and she is doing it all alone because of issues with her partner. Does not compute!

Best of luck OP, Tiger

 

[Nayan]

Sorry if this thread has been derailed, but I just wanted to say to be careful on how far you push your husband. While I agree that carrying a CC debt is a bit much and dangerous, do not ask him to give up his hobbies and interest. Cutting back is fine, but take it from a guy, if you ask him to give up his hobbies and interests all together he will become resentful and will view you as controlling. Just my 2₵!

I don't think she should do that, but there comes a time when you have to grow up and realize it can no longer be ME ME ME! anymore. My hubby's hobbies almost cost him our marriage as he was all about 'it's my money and I'll do what I want'. He still has his hobbies but now we budget for them, the same way we budget for trips and everything else. If the OP's hubby isn't on board then no amount of saving she wants to do will help her situation.

 

[ssawka]

I don't think she should do that, but there comes a time when you have to grow up and realize it can no longer be ME ME ME! anymore. My hubby's hobbies almost cost him our marriage as he was all about 'it's my money and I'll do what I want'. He still has his hobbies but now we budget for them, the same way we budget for trips and everything else. If the OP's hubby isn't on board then no amount of saving she wants to do will help her situation.

This was exactly my point! I absolutely agree that if it is affecting their finances that he should cut back. My point was that they need to budget for them and figure out a way that he can still have his hobbies within their budget. However, I do not believe that asking him to totally give them up is good for the marriage. That is how arguments and resentment surfaces. You have to pick your battles if the marriage is to succeed. Also, there are two sides to every story and unfortunately on these forums we only ever get one side.

 

[scbelleatheart]

For goodness sakes, could you get back on topic! If you want to do finance and marriage counselling, start another thread on another topic or get a degree to help people. She did not ask for your advice on her marriage or her finances. This is the Budget Board isn't it?

 

[Nayan]

For goodness sakes, could you get back on topic! If you want to do finance and marriage counselling, start another thread on another topic or get a degree to help people. She did not ask for your advice on her marriage or her finances. This is the Budget Board isn't it?

Yes, yes it is. But for the sake of argument she did mention, twice now, that her DH has spending issues. We are pointing out that no matter how much she saves, if her DH has the attitude that it's his money and he'll spend it however he wants no matter how much she saves or cuts back they aren't going to be any more ahead unless he cuts his spending. So why should we give her advice on what to cut when the issue is more with her DH than her cable bill? She could manage to save over $100 a month but if he spends that extra $100 on his hobbies how better off will they be? She needs to fix the issue at home first.

 

[starry_solo]

Assuming you still want all those services, call to see if you can bundle it for a period of time (6 months) with a discount of some sort. Or go to another provider.

One of my friends cancelled her home phone, kept internet with Time Warner, and got satellite TV (she had a bundle through Time Warner) and saved $100/month.

 

[MomToOne]

She is extremely bright and I just wanted her to have what I could give her

No matter what I do or say he never supports nor helps cut back...He is the problem because he feels he earns his money so he can spend it how he wants.

Seems like both of you have spending issues. You with insisting on taking your DD to WDW an excessive number of times given the situation as you've described it. He with his spending on fast food and wheels.

Maybe if you drop the "it's all HIS fault" attitude, and admit there are some things you need to fix too, he might be more willing to work with you on things.

 

[scbelleatheart]

Seems like both of you have spending issues. You with insisting on taking your DD to WDW an excessive number of times given the situation as you've described it. He with his spending on fast food and wheels.

Maybe if you drop the "it's all HIS fault" attitude, and admit there are some things you need to fix too, he might be more willing to work with you on things.

A voice of reason and a completely different way of readings things! Props!

 

[SplashMo]

We have DSL internet and phone. We use netflix and hulu and have no cable bill. We also have an antenna for over the air DTV. We had a DVR with DirectTV before and we do not misss it at all.

We are saving money and we are watching even more TV. I was hoping it would be less but the netflix and Hulu are that good.

 

[JB2K]

Seems a few of you actually "get it", while others...well...

The bottom line was OP siad there were "issues", and she signed it with a nifty little signature documenting her recent WDW trip history.

And, to justify those trips, she wanted her daughter to have "that experience" before school kicked-in.

Anyone wanting to answer this, feel free to contibute -- If a parent doesn't take their kids to WDW multiple times before they start school, does that make them bad parents/kids?

My answer is "of course not".

 

[Kali14]

I do thank everyone again. I lost my job one year ago and I have been unable to find a good job yet so I have been taking care of my daughter. I do have income coming in and I did have a large amount of money before marriage which is all gone now. As for trips - most were done very affordably and planned for. This is by no means one persons problem and I do appreciate the input. I would never make my husband give up his hobbies completely but to maybe narrow it. Do we need show cars and race karts. He did give up atv riding in trade of race karts. I focus my energies on the family and know that most men are wired to need other things.
As for the bills I never looked at it as if I cut back here and there he will just end up spending it which is true. He thinks all will be fixed if I refi our house and have our debts consolidated. However I know this is untrue as each time we aquired debt I cashed out stocks/investments to cover and now that security is gone.
I appreciate all the input and I am going to a finiancial budgeting class this week to see if there is something I am not thinking of. I just really wanted to see if others had cut back on such expenses and what they did instead.

 

[Tiger926]

I do thank everyone again. I lost my job one year ago and I have been unable to find a good job yet so I have been taking care of my daughter. I do have income coming in and I did have a large amount of money before marriage which is all gone now. As for trips - most were done very affordably and planned for. This is by no means one persons problem and I do appreciate the input. I would never make my husband give up his hobbies completely but to maybe narrow it. Do we need show cars and race karts. He did give up atv riding in trade of race karts. I focus my energies on the family and know that most men are wired to need other things.
As for the bills I never looked at it as if I cut back here and there he will just end up spending it which is true. He thinks all will be fixed if I refi our house and have our debts consolidated. However I know this is untrue as each time we aquired debt I cashed out stocks/investments to cover and now that security is gone.
I appreciate all the input and I am going to a finiancial budgeting class this week to see if there is something I am not thinking of. I just really wanted to see if others had cut back on such expenses and what they did instead.

I wish you luck in your financial classes. To be honest, it seems like you could both use financial classes since taking so many Disney trips without a job is not very good financial sense at all.

It seems like you both may be in different places, so you looking to save money on regular budget areas, may be a waste of time if your hubby just looks at it as a way of taking on more hobbies.

I think you both need to sit down and really figure out your priorities. He absolutely needs to cut out or consolidate his hobbies, since they are not necessary to his existence. You, on the other hand, are consolidating your household debts, some of which seem to include excessive trips to Disney, so I see two different priority centers at play here.

I wish you luck, as this seem to be a big obstacle you are up against, but with hard work on both of your parts, you may have a shot of making it through more financially healthy, which is one of the best life lessons you can give your daughter, as it will serve her better than multiple vacations ever will.

Tiger

 

[hsmamato2]

I did have a large amount of money before marriage which is all gone now. As for trips - most were done very affordably and planned for. This is by no means one persons problem and I do appreciate the input.
I appreciate all the input and I am going to a finiancial budgeting class this week to see if there is something I am not thinking of. I just really wanted to see if others had cut back on such expenses and what they did instead.

And there it is OP..... good for you...understanding you have some money problems,and working to learn better! Your problem is way bigger than your cable bill,etc. You and your DH were both spending money without adequate income,spending savings on things that disappear,or not necessary. BOTH of you. But now it sounds like *you* are learning better,and I wish you the best in what you learn,and hope your DH will want to learn the same skills!
You should NEVER be spending money without the income to support it- cashing out savings,etc to pay for vacations,and toys is very unwise,as is refi-ing to get more instant money to spend.....

 

[DawnM]

Refinancing and consolidating debt just opens up more money to buy more stuff.

I know you know that, but we have seen it over and over again with our friends. When the CC bills go back to $0, they rack them up again.

There is nothing wrong with Refinancing at all, in fact, it would be great if you can get a lower interest rate, but I would push your husband to look at a 15 year mortgage for the lower rate and NOT consolidate your loans into that, but pay your loans off separately.

Could you get him to look at maybe a cash only budget? Not using CCs is a first step is taking a better look at what you have and how much can be spent on things. If you walk into the grocery store with only $75, you are a much more careful shopper.

We got out of debt (other than mortgage) about 4 years ago and I can't tell you the freedom we have because of it. I just want to get others on board because we have been so much less stressed than we were.

Dawn

I do thank everyone again. I lost my job one year ago and I have been unable to find a good job yet so I have been taking care of my daughter. I do have income coming in and I did have a large amount of money before marriage which is all gone now. As for trips - most were done very affordably and planned for. This is by no means one persons problem and I do appreciate the input. I would never make my husband give up his hobbies completely but to maybe narrow it. Do we need show cars and race karts. He did give up atv riding in trade of race karts. I focus my energies on the family and know that most men are wired to need other things.
As for the bills I never looked at it as if I cut back here and there he will just end up spending it which is true. He thinks all will be fixed if I refi our house and have our debts consolidated. However I know this is untrue as each time we aquired debt I cashed out stocks/investments to cover and now that security is gone.
I appreciate all the input and I am going to a finiancial budgeting class this week to see if there is something I am not thinking of. I just really wanted to see if others had cut back on such expenses and what they did instead.

 

[Diz2012]

Do you and your husband each have a cell phone? If so, get rid of the home phone. You really dont need a home and cell phone. That will save you some cash right there.

Talk to your cable company. See if they have any deals for you. You might be able to get a discount on your internet and cable especially if you ask for it and been with them for awhile and made good on your account. If not perhaps look into dish network or something. My parents switched from cable to a satelliet, cant remember which one, and they are saving a lot of money.

If you are renting a modem and/or router, go out and buy one. That will save you some money each month.

Got a DVR? Get rid of it. Summer time the perfect time to get rid of it since nothing is on anyway. And come fall time, you can either get the DVR back or any shows you miss you can watch them online these days either through the network channel like cbs.com or even go to sidereel.com

Get rid of any unnecessary channels. I have comcast and I was paying $10 more for channels from channel 101-200 and they were channels I didnt even watch.

But be sure to talk to your cable provider, see what they can do for you. You just might be surprised.