Is anyone else not saving or paying for college?

[aprilgail2]

Educating my children is as much a part of my responsibility as a parent as clothing them, feeding them and protecting them. In fact, I view educating them as doing all three, and a whole lot more, for their entire lives.

I just don't understand the perspective that children should pay for their own educations.

 

[TXinmyheart]

I just don't understand the perspective that children should pay for their own educations.

I just don't understand the perspective that parents should pay to their children's college education. Or that kids shouldn't have debt. When does it stop?

 

[soccerdad72]

Nope, planning on them both getting athletic scholarships. (kidding )

 

[minkydog]

We do not pay our daughter's way. She is a sophomore in college. Fortunately, or rather UNfortunately, our income is very low so she gets the Pell grant. She went away to a state college for her first year, then chose to transfer to a local school and changed her major fron theater to culinary. She is happy as a clam AND she is saving money like crazy. At this point the sum total of her student loans is about $5000, and she's paying that down now. When she graduates she will have minimal debt.

 

[GrnMtnMan]

I think there was a pretty lengthy discussion about this on the budget board a while ago. It got pretty heated.

It might have been this one.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I just don't understand the perspective that parents should pay to their children's college education. Or that kids shouldn't have debt. When does it stop?

And different perspectives are what make the world go around!

 

[GrnMtnMan]

I just don't understand the perspective that parents should pay to their children's college education. Or that kids shouldn't have debt. When does it stop?

Ummmm...It doesn't, if you love them more than money for yourself. There are limits to this, of course, but only after all options have been explored.

We hope that our children have a better life than ourselves. More economic freedom, more options for professions, basically more choices. I hope to teach my children to be good people as they grow and hope that they learn to not feel entitled to things...and that gifts are gifts, not obligations. If I fail to do this, paying for a college education will be towards the end of a series of parenting failures, not the beginning. Could be the last chance I have to provide them with a means of being self-sufficient.

 

[Saphire]

We had nothing saved by the time our three went to college. I worked part time hours so I could be home with them before the age of 5, and worked really hard to teach them to learn to read, learn to be curious, etc. Then when they went off to school I continued part time, so we didn't have that extra to put aside.

We took out loans and will be paying for a while, they also took out loans. And each college gave them a significant scholarship. For masters and doctorate programs, they are on their own, but they chose great fields so will be able to pay it off over 15-20 years.

I don't think there is a right way, it is really personal matter and I have seen kids do great with all kinds of scenerios.

 

[Tinkermommy]

I am of the Clark Howard camp that you cannot borrow for your retirement. I personally think it builds character and makes for a better student when they have skin in the game.

I see it all the time with business people with the difference in the way they treat things, shop, vacation when someone else is not picking up the tab.

Clark Howard says save and secure your retirement first. He doesn't say don't pay your child's college education.

We are able to do both. We will have both of our children's undergrad paid for (state college level tuition). Anything beyond that will be up to them.

Our priorities are:
Retirement savings
Savings (general)
Bills/living expenses
Kids education funds
Anything else (entertainment, vacation, etc)

So while I don't think you should go in debt for your kids and risk your future, it's a high priority for us. Way more important than Disney vacations or eating out, new cars, etc.

Today's landscape has changed. A college education is the entry ticket to most good careers, not a nice to have.

Full disclosure, my husband and I neither one received help from our parents. Mine weren't able to and his just didn't.

 

[SaraJayne]

Educating my children is as much a part of my responsibility as a parent as clothing them, feeding them and protecting them. In fact, I view educating them as doing all three, and a whole lot more, for their entire lives.

I just don't understand the perspective that children should pay for their own educations.

I think a lot of how you (general you) feel about paying for college education has to do with your financial situation.

Not always, but I believe it is a big factor.

 

[PlutoPony]

Anyway - if you do not intend to save any money for your child's education I hope that you pray for (1) a child with a 3.85 or better GPA, SAT score of 2050 or better, and the desire to take multiple AP courses (2) a child who excels at a sport and is recruited by a Division 1 school (3) a child suitable for community college to bachelor's program with free or reduced tuition in your state.

I have a senior as well and mostly agree with your quote in red, except to add that for a good amount of merit aid at good schools class rank is as important as grades and test scores. In our area you need to be in the top 5% of your HS graduating class, top 10% may get you a little $ as well but not as much. And over 2200 SAT seems to be the minimum to even be considered for full rides in our area, with a GPA of 4.0 or higher.

We expected merit aid to be competitive but it's MUCH MUCH more so than we thought it would be.

 

[robinb]

I believe that student loans are the new indentured servitude. Too many young people end up with too much debt that cannot be discharged. I know someone who is in her 50's and still paying off student loans from 30 years ago.

We have been saving for our DD's college since she was a baby and we have almost 4 years at a state school set aside. If she wants to go to a private school then she will have to pay the difference herself or get scholarships. FTR, I went to a state school and paid my way 100%. My DH went for free to a private school where his father was a professor.

We believe that going to college is a requirement and providing that education is part of being a parent. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the "My kid is 18 and now an adult and ON THEIR OWN!" attitude that is common on the DIS.

 

[Lynne M]

I can't find the post where someone mentioned "honoring my parents' sacrifice", but I thought it was spot on.

IMO, the NYT article was ridiculously simplistic. Laughable, even. Things just aren't that simple. A responsible, hardworking kid isn't suddenly going to start blowing off classes and become a lazy student just because mom and dad are footing the bill. Do some kids do that? Of course. Some kids do that even when they are paying their own way. Some kids take college seriously, some don't.

My parents paid 100% of my college tuition, room and board at a small private college. They didn't want me working during the semester so I could focus on my studies. Were they rich? No way. Mom was a teacher, Dad was an electrician. They saved long and hard to pay for my education. And believe me, I was conscious every single day of the gift that they'd given me, and the sacrifices they made for it.

If anything, I worked harder because they were paying for it, and I didn't want to throw away what they'd worked so hard for. And 30 years later, I'm still reaping the benefits of that gift. It's given me choices and options in life that I never would have had otherwise, and I've told them often how grateful I am for what they did for me.

I'm well aware that this isn't an option for every parent, and it's every family's choice to make. Just wanted to say that it's not always true that kids goof off because mom and dad are paying.

 

[SaraJayne]

I believe that student loans are the new indentured servitude. Too many young people end up with too much debt that cannot be discharged. I know someone who is in her 50's and still paying off student loans from 30 years ago.

We have been saving for our DD's college since she was a baby and we have almost 4 years at a state school set aside. If she wants to go to a private school then she will have to pay the difference herself or get scholarships. FTR, I went to a state school and paid my way 100%. My DH went for free to a private school where his father was a professor.

We believe that going to college is a requirement and providing that education is part of being a parent. I have a hard time wrapping my head around the "My kid is 18 and now an adult and ON THEIR OWN!" attitude that is common on the DIS.

I believe an education beyond high school is a requirement, not necessarily a 4 year university.

 

[A_Princess'_Daddy]

I think a lot of how you (general you) feel about paying for college education has to do with your financial situation.

Not always, but I believe it is a big factor.

I absolutely agree with that. Like any expense, if there is no money to pay for it, parents simply cannot afford to help. That is different, in my opinion, than choosing not to pay when you (same general you) could pay, and that is what I sense some people are stating as their values. And that is fine and it is their value, I just do not agree with it personally. Doesn't make it wrong, just makes it not how I'll plan to deal with my children's education.

 

[U2_rocks!]

If my kids study at the local university, which has a wide range of faculties/degrees, we only pay the registration fees and cost of books - works out to a few hundred dollars per semester. The community college is also less than what we currently pay in private school fees for 2 of our kids.

I would like my kids to have some foreign schooling in either the U.S. or Canada, but we'll see - I'm not paying for a kid to go overseas and play the fool. So maybe I will start them all off here and then they can go and do part of their degree or something post-grad overseas. If they do very well in their CXCs (school leaving exams) they may win a Government scholarship for a free ride to any university in the world, so there's always that too.

Short answer: we don't have college funds for our kids.

 

[gracie1]

My parents couldn't afford to put us through college. There are five of us and none of us went to college. I am the only one who took some college course, and I have received career diplomas and have and undergrad certification. But we all have good careers, own businesses, etc.

 

[pacrosby]

It is funny on here when you are looking for like minded people, you get a ton of contrarian opinions. Ah well, the nature of any forum.

While there are some instances where we will match funds, we know there are so many ways a child can have their education paid for if not supplemented. Military service and the GI Bill, work one semester, school one semester, programs that pay for college if you agree to a certain amount of service post graduate. Our grandparents did not pay for our parents to go to school. I believe the concept of saving and paying for your child's education to be generally a concept of the past couple of generations.

We actually want our kid to struggle and if that means having debt so be it, but they can also struggle through having to forgoe partying in college and having to maintain the required GPA for grants and scholarships. The biggest hope we have is that eventually they will never have to work for someone else. We hope as fellow entrepreneurs that our kid will work 80 hours for themselves to avoid working 40 hours a week for someone else!

From Day 1 we've told our kids that their ultimate goal should be to work for themselves. My husband owns his own business (no college btw and yes, anyone could do the same thing now without a piece of paper that cost 100K or more), and when I used to work back before the kids I also worked for myself. While I know that that's not for everyone, I think that people here who are pushing the "you need that piece of paper from the most prestigious university possible to get a good job" need to realize that that's not for everyone either.

The other thing people forget is that you don't have to do 4 yrs of full time college straight from high school, living on campus, at the most prestigious university you can get into, to get a good solid 'education'. And isn't that what this is really all about? Education? IMO college is not about finding yourself, it's about learning what you need to know to do what you would like to do. And there are many ways to achieve that goal. C doesn't always have to be A + B. Sometimes you have to think outside of the box.

I will say that I wish that people would stop twisting other's words. Not a single person has said that paying for college would MAKE kids ungrateful or ALWAYS result in their not taking their studies as seriously as they perhaps should. Of course that is untrue. But many kids nowadays ARE taking this four years for granted. Because it's a given. And that can absolutely have an impact on how they approach it. When you, and only you, are responsible for the decisions you make, you will think twice about them. You will probably think longer and harder before majoring in Tibetan Anthropology. You probably won't decide to change your major to ceramics in your Junior year. And you probably won't major in college Fraternity parties. And if you do, you and you alone will be the one who suffers the consequences.

 

[lurkernj]

It might have been this one.

Oh my! I hadn't seen that one. It was actually something about "who pays, parents or kids".

To add to my previous post, I do agree with those who have said it's my responsibility. We only had two kids because that's all we figured we could afford, including college.

Like I mentioned, DS17 is getting ready to go this fall. We did a pretty good job saving, which definitely required some sacrifice, but do not have the $55k per year for some of the schools he has applied to. He is well aware that if he doesn't get some type of scholarship, he won't be going to any of those, loans aren't an option. Both kids will get 4 years, but it probably won't be the school of their dreams (unless they get some $$).

 

[NY Disney fan]

I am not actively saving for my dd's college education. My plan is to pay as we go. I don't want her to start off with debt so I plan to do most, if not all, of the heavy lifting while she goes to school.