Is anyone else not saving or paying for college?

[mnrose]

We have some savings for each of our twins, specifically for college. How far it goes will depend on which college they choose. They are 13 now, and we are beginning the discussion about "what" college costs and "how much" they can expect from us. They will ultimately decide where they want to go, but with the right choice on their parts, they will have enough for about 50-60% of the cost. The rest they will have to figure out. I think this is a good compromise between full freight and nothing at all.

 

[CaliBear]

I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also think you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.


There are plenty of programs to help with paying for college to the point that you can pursue any field without parents feeling obligated to pay.

Just my two cents on it all.

You realize that in terms of financial aide, the federal government expects parents who are able to contribute to do so, right? Many of my friends were offered less aide than I because of their parents' income. They would not have been able to pay the full load on their own because they were being given loans and grants based on an inflated income that didn't reflect what they were able to pay on their own. I paid my way, with the help of financial aide, but I had to work very long hours. I felt my peers who had parents to help pay some of it were very fortunate that they could focus on studies and not have work be their number one priority while they were studying, as it was for me.

 

[MEK]

My parents paid for my college education, and I graduated summa cum laude. It was by far, the best gift they gave me.

I had the same experience. I feel very fortunate to have attended school during a time when it was affordable. I also graduated with a high GPA as part of my own personal sense of satisfaction.

Nowadays most parents can't afford to flip the bill for four years of school and to leave a child with $80 - $160 in student loans is obscene.

It's a give and take situation and not entirely black and white.

You are going to know by the time you kid gets to high school whether they are college bound and whether they deserve a college education. I have one son who absolutely will benefit from a college education and I intend to continue to work so I can help him pay for it. Fortunately, he is smart enough that he is qualifying for scholarships at all the schools that have accepted him thus far (he is a senior). His ultimate decision will be based on total 4 year cost and academic rating / rigor of the school.

When you send your kid to school you have to file a FAFSA which will determine your estimated financial contribution. The school looks at that to determine whether your child qualifies for grants and financial aide.

I have friends who have tremendous debt from student loans now. They are married, with children, and still paying off student loan. It will impact them for the next 20 to 30 years of their lives.

As a parent, you can take out loans. If you are older there is a type of loan that can be forgiven if the parent dies (Parent - plus loan?)

Anyway - if you do not intend to save any money for your child's education I hope that you pray for (1) a child with a 3.85 or better GPA, SAT score of 2050 or better, and the desire to take multiple AP courses (2) a child who excels at a sport and is recruited by a Division 1 school (3) a child suitable for community college to bachelor's program with free or reduced tuition in your state.

 

[KennesawNemo]

No, we absolutely intend to pay for four years at a public university or the equivalent. If I wasn't willing to do that, I wouldn't have had kids, personally.

My parents paid for my college education, and I graduated summa cum laude. It was by far, the best gift they gave me.

100% agree.

 

[joviroxx]

No, we absolutely intend to pay for four years at a public university or the equivalent. If I wasn't willing to do that, I wouldn't have had kids, personally.

My parents paid for my college education, and I graduated summa cum laude. It was by far, the best gift they gave me.

Every child I know who knows their mom and dad are sacrificing for them and has been taught about money/loans/college costs has honored that sacrifice.
Those same kids are the ones who know that if they don't honor the sacrifices their parents are making to help them, the parents will STOP paying.

I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also think you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.


There are plenty of programs to help with paying for college to the point that you can pursue any field without parents feeling obligated to pay.

Just my two cents on it all.

Personally, I don't see is as being entitled. Ive always felt its my responsibility to raise and educate my kids so that they can then go out and be successful citizens and members of society.

Ive never understood the idea of a young kid having to borrow money or take money from the government and put themselves in debt. I don't wish that on anyone and certainly not on my kids. The number of kids I had was directly affected by my ability to finance their education.

Now, if they don't go to college, then they are on their own. And as soon as they graduate, they are on their own.

 

[nchulka]

I never have understood why people think parents should pay for college.

My parents were completely unable to help me with mine, so I don't see why any kid should feel entitled.

I also think you appreciate it more if you have to work for it.


There are plenty of programs to help with paying for college to the point that you can pursue any field without parents feeling obligated to pay.

Just my two cents on it all.

This. DH and I both paid for our own college. DD10 and DS9 will be either paying for theirs or going another direction. In our high schools they have whats called the A+ program. If the kids get good grades all 4 years, have good attendance, and volunteer a certain number of hours tutoring at the elementary schools they will have 2 full years of community college paid for. They can also take the military route. Or there are work to pay colleges like the School of the Ozarks that DD may be interested in. I believe kids need to work hard and earn what they get!

 

[pacrosby]

I am of the Clark Howard camp that you cannot borrow for your retirement. I personally think it builds character and makes for a better student when they have skin in the game.

I see it all the time with business people with the difference in the way they treat things, shop, vacation when someone else is not picking up the tab.

Oh my goodness, I said essentially the same thing on another thread the other day (and got a lot of flack for it too!). I'm with you 100%. I have four kids and they will be responsible for their own education. Why shouldn't they be? It's their future. It's too easy to treat college like not much more than 4 yrs of extended adolescence when you're not footing the bill.

 

[hellow]

We had more kids than we originally planned (twins when we thought we were just going to have a 2nd ), so we didn't save what we had hoped we could by the time they went to college. However, we live in a college town, all 3 of our kids were perfectly OK with living at home while they attended college which saved a huge amount of money for them. We also were lucky enough that they received scholarships throughout their 4 years, and were able to get a discount by having a parent work at the university. They still have some loans, but nothing that they can't work off (about the amount we had when my husband and I finished college).

However, looking back, the college education we always told them to get hasn't helped them yet like it did my husband and me. They are struggling to find jobs, and we wonder if we shouldn't have encouraged them to look at trade options as well. I know that there are other benefits of education, but it sure would be nice to have some financial benefits attached as well. I hate to think how bad things would be for them if they had some of the educational debts like many kids we meet every day...

 

[Planogirl]

My father paid for most of my college expenses (and I did just fine) and we expect to continue to help out as much as we can when it comes to our son. If others decide to do differently, that makes no difference to me.

 

[rszdtrvl]

I just wanna say that whatever you do for one kid - PLEASE do the same for ALL of them.

I still have resentment because I paid for my ENTIRE college myself - less a couple student loan payments my parents made for me.

Then they turned around and paid for my younger siblings ENTIRE 2 years of college.

The whole "Things are different now" phrase does not sit well with me.

Plus it does not help that I was pretty much forced to move out at age 19 because "there is no room in the house" but my younger siblings are 26 and 20 and still live at home with no plans to move out at all. But that's a whole 'nother thing.

 

[ZephyrHawk]

My parents had my undergraduate college tuition paid for by the time I was 9. My grades were just fine, thanks. My parents have continued this tradition with a sizeable donation to the college fund of their 2 month old only granddaughter. I hope to have her college paid for by the time she starts elementary school.

I never want my kid to have to worry about paying for what I consider to be basic schooling. I know I don't have to pay, but I was brought up to place great value on education. To me, an undergraduate degree is a basic necessity. However, I expect she'll want more than that, and she's on her own for grad school.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

As long as they're proving worthy of it, I will do everything in my power to pay for my children's' education. I have no I'll feelings toward anyone who disagrees with this approach, but it's the one I intend to pursue.

 

[ILUVALASKA]

There are three things we spent money on during our son's first 18 years: education, books, and travel. We were able to save enough to pay cash for his first two years at a private university. He will take out sizeable student loans for the next two years; however, he is majoring in computer science in a program that will afford him the ability to pay off said loans very quickly. Allow me to warn anyone who thinks their kids will get scholarships or aid, it is very hard to go that route. We are middle-class folks who do OK, yet are in no position to write a check for $58,000 a year. Our expected contribution is $50,000 per year!!!! I am glad we were able to cover half of our son's tuition, but I would never go in debt myself or dip into retirement. The reality is most of our kids will have student loans. State universities are more affordable, but in California, many programs are impacted and you can't get your classes, therefore, you cannot graduate in 4 years. My advice is to select a major that will pay the bills. It is a different world today; sorry but philosophy doesn't pay the bills! By the way, if you co-sign your child's loans, please be sure to take out life insurance on your child in case the worst happens. YOu will still be responsible for the loans. Saw this firsthand with a friend who is now in massive debt at age 60.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

We save monthly for ds's college fund, hopefully we will be able to pay for most, if not all of it. It's in the budget just like any other regular expense.

 

[hellow]

My advice is to select a major that will pay the bills. It is a different world today; sorry but philosophy doesn't pay the bills!

And depending upon where you live, neither does Nursing, Health & Human Science or Education degrees! One of our kids had to move from Oregon to Texas to get a teaching job, and several exemplary nursing students we know are taking baby-sitting jobs to pay the bills while they wait for a nursing job to open up. It is really depressing!

 

[ashley0139]

I don't have kids yet, but my parents paid for my education (I have a few minimal loans) and I could not be more grateful. I think about it literally every day how grateful I am that they did that for me. I still worked my butt off and got good grades. I plan to do the same for my kids if at all possible when the time comes.

 

[LisaR]

I'd love to know where all these ungrateful kids are that are always mentioned? I've yet to meet any personally. If I was raising kids who were ungrateful, I wouldn't be stupid enough to pay for their college education. As long as my kids take college seriously, I will pay the bills.

I am in favor of kids having some "skin in the game." For me, that means getting good enough grades and test scores to get scholarships. It doesn't mean when they turn 18 I give them a suitcase, show them the door, and wish them well.

 

[tar heel]

My kids are not bums. They work hard and appreciate the things and opportunities they have. They didn't get new cars or every toy they pointed at, but they knew from the day they realized what a college is that they would be going. Cost was not their worry as long as they went to one of North Carolina's great state universities. Two already have their degrees and one just had a good first semester. They have plenty of "skin in the game" -- their dreams and hopes for the future.

 

[Bonniec]

The whole "Things are different now" phrase does not sit well with me.

I think it depends on the situation because it might very well be true. My husband and I have really had to work our way up in the world. When the twins were younger, we really struggled financially. We are doing good now but when we were younger, we were in no position. In fact, the twins (my step kids but still "mine") were a huge surprise to him which they know. He got their mom pregnant on their second date (SURPRISE!!! lol) and talked her into keeping them. I don't think they would be upset if we paid for our youngest to go to college.

While we are doing good now, we really struggled to get to where we are. I think if anything, THAT is what inspires them to work so hard for school. They like having their iphones and little luxeries. But they also remember living out of a trailer when they were younger and the long, slow struggle for hubby and I to make something of ourselves. They want to live the money we have now, or even better. Not the money we had (or lack of) when they were little. They know that road is a lot easier through college. They also chose career paths based in reality (i.e. not philosophy).

I just hope by the time they are done, their degrees will be worth something.

 

[Christine]

I didn't save a dime because I couldn't. While both my husband and I worked, we had two kids in daycare ($$$$) for many years as well as a car payment, mortgage, etc. Saving for retirement is my #1 priority so I max that out.

I know have one in college full time. She is in her third year. I am on the "pay as you go plan" meaning I can just pay her tuition, books, and rent as the bills come in. Sort of like a daycare payment!!! She works part time and pays for all her other expenses.

My son will be going to college this year so I will have two in college for one year. That's going to be tough but I think I can do it.

I refuse to put my kids in student loan debt. I won't do it. I don't think they really have any concept of what they'd be getting themselves into.