I wish I could homeschool :(

[Lilliputian]

I always recommend that moms considering homeschooling go to the library and check out every book they can find on homeschooling. Start by skimming them to see which ones you want to read word for word.

The one book that I do recommend you get your hands on, by buying if you need to, is "So You're Thinking About Homeschooling" by Lisa Whelchel (that's Blair from Facts of Life). She does a great job profiling many different homeschooling families, talking about why they started, what's important to them, and then telling exactly what curriculum they use. That's important because just about any curriculum sounds lovely in the catalog, but if it's made for a different "kind" of family than yours, it won't work well for you. With this book, you can identify with a few families which are similar to your own and then narrow it down from there.

Remember that with homeschooling, she doesn't have to be in the same grade for every subject. Even if you order one brand of curriculum for every subject and have it overseen by a teacher, you can still usually order 3rd grade for everything except math. You also don't have to take a year to finish every book. You could start with 2nd grade math, skipping what she knows well and slowing down where she needs more work. If you finish the book in December, you can have her start 3rd grade math in January. You can customize it to suit her.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

OP-I feel terrible for your daughter. She sounds so upset and unhappy in her school. I hope that this teacher is not being mean to your dd because you have complained about her. I don't mean to scare you but people (teachers included) can be spiteful and maybe she is taking it out on your daughter. Your daughter should not be having a breakdown because she has to go to school. I would be concerned of emotional abuse towards her. Who's watching this teacher in the classroom? No one, except other 7 year olds. If it was my daughter, I would pull her out or tell the principal you want her class changed, even if there's only a few months left. Why make your daugher suffer anymore? PS Is there anyway you can put some kind of recording device on your daugher to see what is being said to her and the other children in class. Go with your mommy instinct.


PS Is there anyway you can put some kind of recording device on your daugher to see what is being said to her and the other children in class

As a teacher I find this suggestion horrific. When the level of trust is at that level then there is nowhere to go really.

She sounds so unhappy. I hope you find something that suits you and makes her feel better. Or you an get the school to investigate fully what is going on. Good luck.

 

[dansamy]

As a teacher I find this suggestion horrific. When the level of trust is at that level then there is nowhere to go really.

She sounds so unhappy. I hope you find something that suits you and makes her feel better. Or you an get the school to investigate fully what is going on. Good luck.

I think kandb is right though. There is something terribly wrong happening for a child to experience an anxiety attack at the sight of her uniform. It may be external or internal. Whatever it is, it's affecting this is child's mental health.

 

[makeithappen]

Happiest Mommy, I live on Long Island and have been researching homeschooling for my DD who would enter kindergarten next year. Besides reading a ton of books (many of them the other members have suggested to you already) and studies, I found some of the most direct info and help from yahoo homeschool groups. One that was especially helpful was a group called NYHEN-support@yahoo. Its a board for homeschoolers in NY state. The members can help you with the homeschool laws in NY, which are strict but do not seem impossible to deal with. I seem to remember reading on one of these boards that NYC has a homeschool office. I may be wrong since I am on LI and didnt pay close attention to the NYC info, but its ringing a bell in my mind.
Also, should you choose to pull your DD, I dont see why there is any reason that you couldnt homeschool her for the rest of this school year and have her enter the next grade next year. A former student of mine was homeschooled for health issues the last 5 months of school, she followed the appropriate curriculum and testing, and was promoted to the next grade without question. You would need to get together the curriculum and get your hands on the books and possibly make arrangements for testing, but if you taught her the curriculum yourself at home with possibly the help of a tutor for math if necessary why couldnt she move on to the 3rd gr on time? I dont have any great answers on how to handle it specifically, but the people on the NYHEN board could def give you a better direction to take should you choose to spare her the anxiety of the next few months and pull her out. I am a mom who was a grade school teacher in both public and parochial school before I had children and I cannot comprehend why any child should feel so frightened and unhappy in school. 30+ hours a week for the next 4 months is a long time to be miserable for a 7 year old. Dont let yourself be intimidated into thinking you cant do it! The teacher and parent in me has to say that no one is more dedicated to seeing a child succeed than his/her parent! Dont let the school bully you into thinking its impossible or illegal to pull her out and keep her on track for the 3rd grade! Try the yahoo groups, they have been a great help for me out her on LI. good luck and hugs to your DD

 

[kandb]

SCOTSMINNIE-Why do you feel what I suggest horrific? Just because you are a teacher? There are bad seeds in every profession. Have you ever seen the "hidden cameras" videos of some nannies that watch children for a living? The most recent one I saw, a week ago, was a nanny slappy a baby in the face. Unfortunately, some people don't have high moral values and it's possible this teacher has issues. You are not suggesting that all teachers are normal, are you? PS, My third grade teacher was a "yeller" and I was anxious going to her class. When I told my mother, she went in and talked to her. That same day, the teacher went in front of the class and asked all the students, "Do I yell at you?" Of course no one said nothing, and then she nastily said to me in front of the class, "Why did you tell your mother that I yell?" She had alot of anger in her and I will always remember that 3rd grade class and how uncomfortable I was going to it everyday.

 

[ScotsMinnie]

SCOTSMINNIE-Why do you feel what I suggest horrific? Just because you are a teacher? There are bad seeds in every profession. Have you ever seen the "hidden cameras" videos of some nannies that watch children for a living? The most recent one I saw, a week ago, was a nanny slappy a baby in the face. Unfortunately, some people don't have high moral values and it's possible this teacher has issues. You are not suggesting that all teachers are normal, are you? PS, My third grade teacher was a "yeller" and I was anxious going to her class. When I told my mother, she went in and talked to her. That same day, the teacher went in front of the class and asked all the students, "Do I yell at you?" Of course no one said nothing, and then she nastily said to me in front of the class, "Why did you tell your mother that I yell?" She had alot of anger in her and I will always remember that 3rd grade class and how uncomfortable I was going to it everyday.

I totally agree that not all teachers are great and I would feel equally concerned if it was my daughter. I just think that there are other ways of tackling it before compromising her privacy and that of the other children in the class. Speaking to management. Asking other parents how their children feel about school. Having a discussion with the teacher in a reasonable way could perhaps bring to light reasons for her feelings. It may of course confirm what you think of he teacher then a complaint to management would be appropriate.

Children should always feel safe, secure and happy at school and if they are not then action should be taken. I just think that putting recording devices on children is not the answer.

 

[dansamy]

I totally agree that not all teachers are great and I would feel equally concerned if it was my daughter. I just think that there are other ways of tackling it before compromising her privacy and that of the other children in the class. Speaking to management. Asking other parents how their children feel about school. Having a discussion with the teacher in a reasonable way could perhaps bring to light reasons for her feelings. It may of course confirm what you think of he teacher then a complaint to management would be appropriate.

Children should always feel safe, secure and happy at school and if they are not then action should be taken. I just think that putting recording devices on children is not the answer.

In addition, recording the sound in the class can run afoul of federal wiretapping regulations.

 

[Happiest mommy]

Thank you all so much the care and concern you have shown has been truly a blessing, kandb mentioned her teacher was a yeller reading your post wow thats horrible! this is the case with DD thats one of the reasons DD is so afraid of her mind you this teacher has told me my DD is a joy to have in her class, my DD's first grade teacher was kind enough to talk to my DD alone (I told her what was going on) and confirmed that this teacher is just a bully and like to intimidate the children, I have a list with all your sugestions I will be going to Barnes and Noble today Bless you all!!!

 

[sk!mom]

and confirmed that this teacher is just a bully and like to intimidate the children, I have a list with all your sugestions I will be going to Barnes and Noble today Bless you all!!!

As a teacher and a mom, I have a couple of pieces of advice.

First, if you are absolutely certain that the teacher is a bully and the cause of the problem and you are a stay at home mom, do not send your child back another day. Many of us wouldn't have the immediate option of keeping our child home because of our own jobs. If you do, then exercise that option for the sake of yourself and your child.

Second, any reasonably intelligent parent can easily school their own elementary aged child. Homeschooling gets more complicated as the subjects grow more difficult but elementary is easy.

Bottom line in your situation, I would withdraw her tomorrow and have her home with me while I figured out what was best for her going forward. At her age she needs to be developing strong reading, writing, and math skills. You can find programs for that quickly enough to finish this year. Then spend the next few months researching homeschooling as well as other schools in your area to make a decision for next year.

Good luck, few things hurt quite as much as seeing our children hurting.

 

[Happiest mommy]

this is all very confusing to me, do I need an accredited school now, can I just choose a site like time4learning so many questions uhg!

 

[mom2jcg]

I'm not sure of the laws in NY, but we began homeschooling mid year and have never looked back. My 7th grader is now doing HS Algebra! You have such flexibility when it comes to homeschooling. Most curriculum is written so that anyone can teach it, especially at the younger years. As they get older, there are co ops as others have mentioned, or you just may find yourself learning along with them. I know I do! A great resource is Cathy Duffy's book 100 Top picks for Homeschool Curriculum. It will tell you how much parent involvement is required and explain what is good about each one so you can tailor it to your child. Homeschooling is such a blessing to us, but I know it's not right for everyone. If you have the desire, I would try it. She can always go back to school if it doesn't work out!

 

[mom2jcg]

this is all very confusing to me, do I need an accredited school now, can I just choose a site like time4learning so many questions uhg!

In Alabama, we just have to enroll in a cover school. So technically, I am a teacher at a private school, but my only students are my kids.

 

[Happiest mommy]

mom2jcg thanks for the book sugestion it might be exactly what I need, also what I know about my DD is she will do workbooks bur loses interest very fast but LOVES anything on the computer...

 

[mom2jcg]

mom2jcg thanks for the book sugestion it might be exactly what I need, also what I know about my DD is she will do workbooks bur loses interest very fast but LOVES anything on the computer...

No problem! It helped me a ton. When she gets to third grade math, there is a fabulous computer based program called Teaching Textbooks. My kids prefer it to anything else they've done and I like it because it teaches them and keeps up with their grades. Good luck! I remember the feeling you're having so well!

 

[Niewoe]

Please forgive this advice if it has already been discussed (I read the OP and some that followed, but not the entire thread). Not sure if NYC has cyber schools, but that can be an option for you to have your child at home and have the support of certified teachers. I really feel for you... I could definitely not sit by or "wait it out" if my child was hurting.

Best of luck... I hope you find a happy school environment for your child!!!

 

[Happiest mommy]

Niewoe I wish NYC had Cyber school but they don't that would be great!!

 

[Happiest mommy]

so ordered 100 Top picks for Homeschool Curriculum have a lot of reading to do again thank you all so very, very much!!!

 

[Ariel on Land]

(forgive me, I haven't read all the posts....)

But OP, your situation sounds extremely similar to what we were in earlier this year. We're a military family, so we're not from around here and our twins started Kindergarten this year. And like you, the local schools aren't the greatest, but they have a "great" magnet program that teaches a grade ahead. So our boys tested, and easily got in based on their scores. So we enrolled them there. HOWEVER- there were things we discovered after the school year started. The locals, knowing their school system, have a high percentage of redshirting their kids so that they can get into the magnet system. They'll send their kids to private K, and then what should be their first grade year, test them into the magnet schools for "kindergarten" (which academically is first grade.) So my boys, who are young for their grade anyways, tested in as pure 5 year old kindergarteners but were in a class of overwhelmingly older children, many who have already had kindergarten. There is no talking allowed except at recess/PE, not even at lunch. Extremely strict expectations. They made good grades, were actually A students, but by mid semester, one son was shutting down and refused to work. It just was not developmentally appropriate for 5 year old boys. He hated school. It broke my heart because I knew he was probably smarter than a good chunk of those kids, but he wasn't mature enough to handle the crazy expectations. The teachers actually came out and said, "we're teaching first grade material and we expect first grade behavior." It was crazy!

We ended up pulling them out at the beginning of this semester and placed them in a new school. No, they are not learning nearly as much as they were, but we work with them at home to keep their skills up. But they're having FUN and enjoying school. The one who went on strike actually came home a few weeks ago and told us he wishes he could go to school on Saturday and Sunday. It's been an amazing difference. The principal is wonderful and I feel like I can trust my kids in her care. But we are so glad we got our son out of that environment. It was truly harmful to him.

So please, if there's any way, find a new school situation, homeschool, or maybe talk to the principal for a new teacher for your sweet daughter. It's not right to emotionally squash her like that. School needs to be a positive experience at this age. There's no reason a child should come home so upset! Don't make her go through the rest of the year in that woman's class!!! Your sweet child deserves so much better!

 

[nchulka]

this is all very confusing to me, do I need an accredited school now, can I just choose a site like time4learning so many questions uhg!

That is what I've been doing this year! I've been pleased with it, it's very easy to use. DS is in 3rd grade and he does his school work mostly by himself. Sometimes he needs some help, but the way T4L works the kids can mostly handle it by themselves. This is my first year homeschooling. DD is still in school (5th grade). Last year DS starting asking/begging to be home schooled. I thought the idea was crazy at first, I had no clue where to start. throughout the year we have tweaked things here and there and added some more activities. Our day looks like this, school 9-11, break 11-12, school 12-2. In the AM he does 30 minutes each of Bible, Language Arts (T4L), Math (T4L), and silent reading. In the afternoon he does 15 minutes each of science and social studies on T4L, 15 minutes in a vocab. workbook, 15 minutes on spelling, 15 minutes writing in a journal, 30 minutes on a writing assignment, and 30 minutes with me reading a book to him (we've been going through early Am. history, so we're reading bios of George Washington, etc.). For the writing assignment he brainstorms on Tues., pre-writes on Wed., edits (with my help) on Thurs., and does a final draft on Fri. Mon. he does not do writing.

It has gone well academically, I believe he is ahead where he would have been staying in school. He really misses the other kids though. Through talking with other moms this year I have found some classes that I can sign him up for next year. There are several classes available for homeschoolers to take.

 

[nchulka]

letsgoreds its funny you should ask about her age she is actually one of very few 7 year old in the class the majority are 8 her Birthday is in July erinmomof2 I wish my state had a free program like K-12 that would really nice to try GusGus77 I will definitly will be looking for this book thank you so much for offering Bless you all!!

Nice thing about T4L is that you actually get 3 years worth of school. DS is in 3rd grade, but with the click of a button I can change him to 2nd or 4th. You may start off with her in 3rd but if it's too difficult just have her do the 2nd grade lessons. If she is just going to be turning 8 this summer I may just start her off with 2nd grade. There is a HUGE difference between 2nd and 3rd grade. I've looked through some of the 2nd grade lessons and they are much easier. I know at DD's school it's the same way, there is a huge jump between lower elementary (K-2) and upper elementary (3-5). DS was shocked this year and thought it was so much harder because it was home school, but there really is a big difference between 2nd and 3rd grades. DS is a Sept. birthday and was not allowed to start K until he was turning 6. So this year in 3rd grade he is 9. I'd consider having her start with 2nd grade and see how it goes, age wise she fits into either grade. If she is already struggling with math, I wouldn't push her.